Fathers lost in war, children search for answers

PROVIDENCE, R.I. - We all lose our fathers - one day - but for many, it happens far too soon. In this time of war CBS News correspondent Steve Hartman reports on a story of love, loss, and longing for Dad.

In war, any war, the only thing more tragic than the body count is the daddy count. In Vietnam, about 22,000 American kids lost their fathers. And of those casualties, one of the most heartbreaking stories belongs to now 41-year-old Mitty Mirrer of Rhode Island -- who lost her dad when she was just 16 hours old. Her mom was still recovering from the childbirth.

Mirrer said, "They actually came into the hospital, notified her, and then she screamed."

In the years following the funeral, however, Mitty says her mother hardly ever talked about her dad and didn't really want Mitty talking about him either - even though Mitty felt she needed to.

And that's why, a few years ago, this mother of two took it upon herself to dig into something much deeper than dirt.

Gold Star Children movie

It's an hour-long documentary, called Gold Star Children, she produced to give a voice to those kids who've lost a parent to war. A voice like they've never had and we've never heard. The names comes from a World War I tradition of putting a gold star in your window if you lost a son.

"A gold star child would be a kid who lost a loved one in the military. List I lost my dad. I'm a gold star child," said Cierra Becker.

Cierra lives with her mom and baby sister outside of Corpus Cristi, TX. Since her dad died in Iraq four years ago, Cierra's has been trying to figure out where his death leaves her.

"I sort of felt like the world almost was pressing down on me to make a decision, to make a decision whether to completely change my personality, whether to gloss over what happened or act like daddy is there everyday," Cierra said.

Cierra found some answers at a camp for other kids who also lost parents to war. Just being able to talk about them seemed to do wonders.

"By them being able to share the story, it validates that experience," Mitty said. "And they don't have to wait 25, 30 years to do it."

The project has also, obviously, had a big effect on Mitty, who eventually realized her camera was a mirror, too.

[frstalto]

There were several "positive" comments about this project when this story first aired, anyway of getting them back?

Please support this project -
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1288302855/gold-star-children

[Swint_S]

Young men like Mitty Mirrer's father do not go to war because they want a job. They volunteer because they believe in our country's ideals, and because they know "war is a terrible thing, but it is not the worst thing." All of us owe them our gratitude (even when we believe our leaders may be wrong in entering some military action), and for those who pay the price in injuries and death, we owe that gratitude to their families. Please reflect some appreciation in your comments. The Gold Star Children's camp is wonderful. Thanks, Mitty.

[cosmo4cngres]

PENTAGON NEEDS TO LEARN TO FIGHT SMARTER. THEN FILL FEWER BAGS. THEY COULD LEARN A FEW THINGS FROM THIS CAGEY OLD GERMAN. THEY KNOW MY NAME WELL BUT WON'T LISTEN. TO KING KOBRA HOCKENSTEIN.

[AsabeShehuYarAdua]

Mirrer has taken a very good step in forming the Gold star children camp, at least children can come around to share their grief, and in the company of other kids with related issues, they find comfort and confidence to go on in life.
The government of America should support the organization to enable her carry them on so that the impact of the loss may be reduced to an extent.

[MaxK341]

Our perpetual wars have no purpose other than to inflict great harm on our own young men and women. It is bad enough to die for no good cause: it is worse to be crippled and maimed for life. We need to re-evaluate the situation. The Dept. of Defense should only be used to defend our borders. We'll bankrupt America trying to police the world and more children will lose a parent to senseless war.

[Imthaid2]

The answer is easy. These kids are fatherless so war profiteers and oil companies can make billions more in profits. What could be easier to understand?

[Ongoman]

Kids chorus sing Father's Day tribute to dads serving in military:

http://youtu.be/DyLEIVdo-Vc

[longtree-2009]

nothing new. happens in every war since the usa was founded and even before that during the revolutionary war. it happens in any nation state that has ever gone to war since recorded history began and even before that time. life goes on, people survive somehow and in someway regardless of age or gender but they too must eventually die. just trying to table some perspective.

[scabbard2]

The closest George W.Bush came to combat was Montgomery, Al. Do the research. John McCain was and is a loser. And now we have Barack Obama and a group of generals trying to reprove the greatest failure of the greatest army, the Russians, the world has ever known. Go figure................

[searchn51575]

you showed a picture of a marine @ the Vietnam War Memorial Wall.how can I see this picture,or see the entire story from beginning to end including this picture.I would like a copy of this story with the picture of the marine,please.

[WitchBroom]

Write to Steve Hartman at [e-mail]