"Choreplay" the New Foreplay?

Need to reignite that spark in your marriage?

Well there's hope and believe it or not -- it comes from household chores.

The Early Show took a look at a new type of foreplay called "choreplay."

Can pitching in with chores really lead to more sex?

Early Show co-anchor Julie Chen recently visited a married couple, Mark and Alisa Bowman, to see if it can really work.

Chen also spoke with sex therapist Ian Kerner, who recently wrote a blog on this topic, and Cosmopolitan's Executive Editor Nicole Beland to discuss why choreplay is the new foreplay, what it says about relationships today, and if this will become a bigger trend.

Take a look at what she found and listen to some expert advice that could improve or even save your marriage:

6 Comments Add a Comment

: linkicon reporticon emailicon
anygirlUSA says:: Yes, there ARE ladies out there who mow, water, spread pine needles and take out the trash. Yes, there ARE men out there who do the laundry, do the dishes and clean the toilet. Got bless both. The secret is finding what works for each couple. This could very well be a great idea for many couples where one partner feels undervalued and put-upon. PARTners...a team where each member does their PART. The same principal could easily be applied in the other direction. If more women DID mow the yard or take the car to get serviced, (or offer sex more often) perhaps their men would be more willing to help around the house. The idea is that each should WANT to help out the other, not be nagged or withold one thing or another. Easily said, but the divorce rate shows it is anything BUT easy. Good luck to us all.; reply

: linkicon reporticon emailicon
democracy5 says:: Sounds to me like most of the commenters here are guys who would crab about a woman no matter what, unless she did everything to their liking and jumped to get them a beer whenever they demanded one.

Let me give you a hint, "gentlemen". If your wife works a full-time job and also assumes the primary duties of child-raising, she is NOT going to feel all hot for you if, at the end of her day, she has to come home and also be responsible for the bulk of the housekeeping responsibilities as well (not to mention on the weekend). She'll just be too "plumb tuckered out", as they say.

All of you that complain that women don't do the lawn care, etc--that's mostly seasonal work and it surely isn't a day-to-day effort like cooking, cleaning, child care and laundry. But go ahead and portray your sorry selves as the poor down-trodden ones. Oh, pity you poor little boys. I'll bet half of you hire OTHER people to do that stuff anyway.

You should live one month in the average woman's shoes. Then you might have a clue. Not to mention that women get paid about 70 cents for every dollar that men make for the SAME dang job!; reply

: linkicon reporticon emailicon
buttonjockey says:: This article is proof that for many women, sex is a commodity to barter with. Chores, favors, foot rubs, new foreplay techniques - it's all "spice" and the spice wears out before long, no matter what it is. Your sex life will be back to normal no matter what you throw at it. Only problem is that you'll be expected to go that extra mile long after the novelty has worn off. You want a good sex life? Choose a woman who values sex and don't think for a second that you're going to change the habits of the partner you have now.; reply

: linkicon reporticon emailicon
dnamj says:: If there is not good sex in a marriage, then the problem is probably not who dries the silverware.; reply

linkicon reporticon emailicon

myth1958 says:

If only life were so simple. But Kerner, Beland and Chen are right about one thing: lots of men come home just like their daddies did and get a beer and sprawl on the couch while their wives/girlfriends/partners fix supper, clean the house and tend to the kids. These neanderthals have ready excuses - "I work construction and I'm dog-tired when I get back to the house." "If it was good enough for my mother and father, this should be good enough for her." "I ain't into these new-fangled roles." Sure, Dwayne. And your cute wife/girlfriend/partner has been in the same cave as you all these years? Didn't think so. She may be pretty annoyed that you devalue her work, or effort, as less than yours. She may be an office worker, or hairdresser, or teacher, but have you taken care of 20 kids for a day? Ever? Then don't compare your workloads.
Back to the article: it would be wonderful if hubbies could see more action if they performed more chores, but I don't think the issues are as simple as all that. I do half the housework (plus the bulk of outdoor work) yet see less and less intimacy because of other reasons. I'm a nice guy - and faithful - but complex emotional baggage always swirls around sex. If doing all the indoor chores were enough, my woman would never lift a finger except to crook one to summon me to the bedroom. Too bad this study gives frustrated guys (like me) false hope as we wonder where the sexy woman we once dated went to. She's not stuck doing the dishes, I can tell you that.


ejavam07 replies:: linkicon reporticon emailicon; The more time you give them to do something else, the more time they have to look for a 'real man', while you take care of her kids most likely.

If she's not into equality in work and bed, you aren't going to change her and you're better off spending your time looking for someone who is.