Q&A: Why Kids Kill Parents

Kathleen M. Heide, PhD, is professor of criminology at the University of South Florida, Tampa. She has published two widely acclaimed books on juvenile homicide, "Why Kids Kill Parents: Child Abuse and Adolescent Homicide" and "Young Killers: The Challenge of Juvenile Homicide," and a third, coauthored with Linda Merz-Perez, on "Animal Cruelty: Pathway to Violence Against People." She is a licensed mental health counselor and a courtappointed expert in matters relating to homicide, and children and families. She is a frequent consultant to the national print and electronic media and numerous international newspapers and magazines.

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TERMS:

Parricide: technically refers to the killing of a close relative but has become increasingly synonymous with a child killing his or her parents.
Matricide: term used to refer to the killing of one's mother.
Patricide: term used to refer to the killing of one's father.

STATISTICS:
• On average, about five parents are killed by their biological children in the United States every week.
• Of the approximately 250 parents killed by their offspring each year, about 100 of these victims are mothers. Despite the frequency, little is known about the perpetrators, particularly when they are females.
• Most mothers who are slain by their offspring are killed by sons. However, the involvement of daughters in matricides is still quite substantial. From 1976 to 1999, the killers in approximately 1 of 6 matricides were daughters.
• Most matricides involve adult offenders. The number of offenders younger than 18 arrested for killing their mothers in the 24 year study period mentioned above ranged from 8 to 24 per year and averaged 17 per year. Girls younger than 18 were the killers in 20 percent of the matricide incidents committed by juveniles.
• The number of mothers killed by daughters under 18 ranged from 1 to 7 per year, and averaged less than 4 per year.
• Analyses since the mid-1970s to now provide no evidence that the incidence of parricide is increasing. Available data suggest, in contrast, that the killings of parents have decreased over the last 30 years.

Q&A:

What prompted your study of parricide?

I began evaluating juvenile killers in the early 1980s. Some of these youths had killed their parents. When I heard the stories and investigated the backgrounds of youths who killed their mothers, fathers, or both parents, it was clear that abuse and neglect typically played a role in these killings. The cases of kids who killed parents were very different from adolescents who killed under other circumstances, such as during the commission of a robbery or a burglary. I found cases of young people killing their parents very disturbing and unsettling.

I decided to write my first book, "Why Kids Kill Parents: Child Abuse and Adolescent Parricide," after receiving a phone call from "a good kid" who killed his mother and father. The record established that both parents were alcoholics and abused him for years. During the phone call, the boy said, "Dr. Heide, someone has to tell the story about kids like me." Three petitions alleging abuse had been filed by the state social services agency in this case prior to the killings. This boy had been removed from the home for a period of time after it was established in court that that the parents had physically abused him. The boy was later returned to live with the parents. Nine months after the social services agency ended its supervision, this boy killed his parents. He was in the process of running away when the deadly confrontation happened. This adolescent was sentenced to life in prison by the same judge who had presided over the child abuse proceedings a few years before the killings.

Your study says that parricide can not be predicted - are there no warning signs?

It is not possible to predict that a particular boy or girl will kill a parent. The reason that parricide cannot be predicted is because parricide is a very rare event. For example, in 2008, 14,180 people were murdered in the U.S., according to FBI data. Of these, 117 were mothers and 120 were fathers slain by their biological children. These 337 victims represent about 2 percent of all individuals killed during that year.

Most of the offspring who killed their parents were actually adult children, meaning they were over 18 years of age. My analyses of thousands of parricides cases since the mid 1970s has revealed that approximately one out of four fathers (25 percent) and one out of six mothers (16 percent) who are killed by their offspring are killed by children under 18. If the age of the child is extended to include 18 and 19 year olds, the percentages of fathers killed by children under age 20 increases to 33 percent of fathers and 25 percent of mothers.

In addition to the small number of cases of parricides in relation to all homicides, studies have shown that it is hard to predict violent behavior, unless there is a history of violent behavior by a particular individual.

Although it is not possible to predict that a youth will kill his or her parent, research has indicated there are certain factors, if present, that increase the likelihood of a youth killing a parent. These include:

1: The youth is raised in a chemically dependent or other dysfunctional family

2: An ongoing pattern of family violence exists in the home.

3: Conditions in the home worsen, and violence escalates.

4: The youth becomes increasingly vulnerable to stressors in the home environment

5: A firearm is readily available in the home environment.

When these conditions are present, parents or other adults need to take action to get help. When I see families in these situations, one of the first things I ask is whether there is a firearm in the home. If so, I advise the parents to remove the gun from the home until conditions improve substantially. My research and studies by others show that in the majority of cases, children and adolescents use guns to kill both fathers and mothers. My analyses of thousands of cases show that youths under 18 are significantly more likely to use firearms to kill their parents than adult offenders.

Is there an age when a child is more likely to kill their parent (juvenile versus adult)? And is there an overwhelming motivation?

There is no specific age. However, age is indeed relevant when looking at likely motivations or factors contributing to the homicide. Motivations for the killing are very important, as they are related to how much risk the parricide offender is to society and what should be done in terms of justice.
Children and adolescents are most likely to kill to end abuse or to get their own way. Sometimes they kill because of severe mental illness. However, severe mental illness is not as much of a factor with young parricide offenders as with older parricide offenders.

Adults who kill their parents, particularly those who are middle-aged, are likely to kill their aging parents because of severe mental illness, such as psychosis or severe depression. They also kill for anti-social reasons, such as to get their parent's assets. Abuse alone is rarely the driving force for an older adult to kill a parent because a healthy adult has options a child under 18 does not have. A healthy adult, for example, can leave the home of the aging parent or cut ties with an abusive parent. When conditions warrant it, such as the deteriorating health of an aging parent, perhaps, complicated with substance abuse, a healthy adult can take action to have the parent hospitalized or put in a nursing facility.

In your book and in your recent article, "Matricide: A Critique of the Literature," you profile three distinct categories of parricide offenders - can you detail them for us?

From my review of others' reports and my own clinical evaluations, I have found that most cases can be categorized into three primary types of parricide offenders: the severely abused child, the dangerously antisocial child, and the severely mentally ill child. Among children, adolescents, and young adults, the severely abused child and the dangerously antisocial child are most common. Among older adults, the severely mentally ill and the dangerously antisocial types predominate.

Severely abused children (SAC) kill their abusive parent to end the abuse. These individuals have been abused by their parent(s) for years. The abuse is typically known to others. SAC have sought help from others and, yet, the abuse has continued. They often have tried to run away, considered suicide, and, in some cases, have attempted to kill themselves. Over time, the violence in the home escalates and these individuals become increasingly stressed. They kill the abusive parent because they are terrified that they or other family members will be seriously harmed or killed. They are typically desperate and see no other way out but murder. These individuals typically have a longstanding history of depression and meet the diagnostic criteria for Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Dangerously antisocial children (DAC) kill the parent to further their own goals. In these cases, the parent is an obstacle in their path to getting what they want. These individuals, for example, may kill to have more freedom, to continue dating a person to whom the parents object, and to inherit money they believe is eventually coming to them. DAC have a pattern of violating the rights of others when it suits them. Typically this behavioral pattern begins in childhood. Youths who continuously defy adults, do what they want on their own timeframe, and do not accept responsibility for their actions over a significant period of time will likely be diagnosed as having Oppositional Defiant Disorder. If this behavioral pattern is not corrected, the youth often will engage in criminal activities that may include violence towards people or animals, destruction of property, deceitfulness or theft, and/or serious violations of rules by parents, such as staying out all night or being truant from school. At this point, the youth will likely be diagnosed as having a Conduct Disorder. If this pattern of violating the rights of others continues past age 18, it is likely that this individual may be diagnosed as having an Antisocial Personality Disorder. This type of parricide offender is far more dangerous to society than the first in terms of re-offending and hurting other people in the future.

Severely mentally ill children (SMIC) kill the parent largely as a result of severe mental illness. Diagnoses commonly made include psychosis and severe depression. A longstanding history of mental illness is generally easy to document in these cases. SMIC are typically on psychotropic medication and are most apt to kill when they stop taking it. They may kill the parent, for example, because they have delusions (bizarre and irrational beliefs) that the parent is the devil. They may report hearing God's voice commanding them (a hallucination - false sensory experience) to kill the parent.

How do you determine the type of parricide offender? Is it as straightforward as it seems?

Determining the type of parricide offender is not as easy as it may seem. An accurate assessment takes time and serious study. The adage "You can't judge a book by its cover" often applies here. For example, in parricide cases involving young offenders, severe mental illness is typically ruled out. In many cases, the question becomes, is the boy or girl a severely abused or dangerously antisocial child? On the one hand, I have had several cases of youths who initially appeared dangerously antisocial, but careful evaluation revealed otherwise. Some youths who have been severely abused may adopt a tough exterior that suggests to others that they may be antisocial when they are not. On the other hand, I have encountered youths where extensive abuse was evident and who were extremely dangerous. Even when abuse is present, the critical question remains: What propelled the youth to kill the parent?

Making this judgment requires an in-depth evaluation by a mental health professional who is knowledgeable about family violence. In my practice, I focus on juveniles, adolescents, and young adults who kill parents. In my cases, I spend hours evaluating the parricide offender and routinely consult with surviving family members. I also speak with the offender's friends and teachers when possible. Family members are essential in corroborating abuse, the early history of the child, and family dynamics. Friends and teachers can provide important information about what the youth is like, how the youth handles stress, and what changes occurred in the youth's behavior over time. I review police reports, depositions of witnesses, school and medical records, and social services records if they exist with respect to dependency and delinquency histories. I routinely consult with other mental health professionals who may have had earlier contact with the child.

Can you talk about the importance of boundary setting and parental respect for children in regards to their parents?

Setting boundaries is very important in raising children. Good parenting requires setting limits and disciplining children when they do not abide by them. From the time they are toddlers, children test limits and challenge parents. For example, a 3-year-old wants an ice cream sandwich right before dinner. The mother says no, explaining that they will be eating dinner soon. The child screams, cries, and kicks his feet in protest. If the mother, exhausted from a long day, gives in, thinking it is not worth the hassle, the child has learned an important lesson. The child can wear his mother out and get what he wants by temper tantrums and bad behavior. Unless the mother changes that behavior, the child will continue to challenge her and his bad behavior will escalate.

In parricide cases, I have seen good parents overindulge their children with fatal results. These parents often love their children very much and do not want to fight with them over "little things." These parents reason that these challenges - staying up late, getting another toy at the store - are not really important. The problem is that over time the "little things" become bigger and bigger issues. At 15, 16, or 17 years of age, the son or daughter is now saying "I am going out, I am taking the car, I am dating who I want." The parent appropriately steps in and says "no." However, the adolescent has not learned to respect the parent and to accept the parent's authority. The youth has not learned that you do not always get your way. The youth has no frustration tolerance, meaning that he does not know how to deal with disappointment, and gets angry. Sometimes the anger is so intense that it erupts into deadly rage.

Is matricide more prevalent in single-parent families?

That question is a hard one to answer because there are no national data that record family composition of matricide victims. I have had cases of adolescents who have killed mothers that came from both two parent and one parent families. Case reports from other clinicians and researchers also are mixed with respect to family composition when it comes to adolescents who kill mothers.

Based on my cases and other clinical reports in the professional literature, I would hypothesize that female adolescents are more likely to kill mothers when they are in single family situations because of the added stress that their mothers may be experiencing in these circumstances. These mothers often have the responsibility of supporting themselves and their children without significant financial and emotional support. Overtaxed, they may expect their daughters to take on more responsibilities that would normally be shouldered by a spouse or significant other. The mothers in this situation may be perceived by their daughters as demanding and critical, rather than as appreciative and loving toward their daughters.

Based on my cases and others reported in the professional literature, I would suspect that boys who kill their mothers are more likely to come from two-parent homes where the mother is perceived by the son and possibly the father as controlling or domineering. In the latter case, the mother's behavior is likely to be psychologically abusive to both her son and her husband. Clearly more research is needed to better understand this important area.

With respect to adult matricide offenders, the picture is clearer than with younger offenders. Adult sons and daughters who kill their mothers are much more likely to be living alone with them than with both parents.

What conclusions can you draw from children who choose knives over fire arms?

Most juveniles and adolescents who kill parents use firearms as their weapons of destruction. In matricide cases, firearms are the weapon of first choice followed by knives. Interestingly, my analyses of over 1,400 cases of parents killed by juveniles under 18 over the 32-year period 1976-2007, revealed that the percentages of daughters and sons who used knives to kill mothers was the same - 23 percent. Thus, about one in four juvenile matricide offenders stabbed their mothers to death.

Adolescents who kill parents often act impulsively. Those who select knives are even more likely to act due to strong feelings rather than to conscientiously plan the killing. Knives are readily available in homes. Grabbing a knife and wielding it requires little planning.

What does it mean when a victim is stabbed multiple times?

It is often indicative of the release of very strong negative emotion. Studies in rats have demonstrated that a positive feedback loop exists between the aggression center in the brain and the release of stress hormones by the adrenal cortex. This feedback loop amplifies aggressive behavior. In essence, stress and aggression form a rapid positive feedback loop. When stress increases, aggression increases. Conversely, aggressive behavior leads to the release of stress hormones.

This mechanism may help to explain how stressors rapidly generate and exacerbate violent behavior. I have had several cases where homicide offenders have repeatedly stabbed their victims. Once in this positive feedback loop, the offender continues to act out violently until his or her rage has dissipated. At this point, the offender is completely exhausted. Often offenders in this situation report later that they are stunned by what they did. It is almost as though they were on "automatic pilot" and suddenly woke up to see the violence that they had inflicted. The prosecution may suggest that, in the case of a victim who has been stabbed 30 times, the offender made 30 conscious decisions as he or she inflicted each wound. Advances in biological research suggest quite the opposite. Once the offender began the assault, his or her ability to stop, think, and conscientiously make choices was severely compromised.

It is normal for teens to test boundaries - when are the clues that adolescent behavior has gone from normal to something more dangerous?

It is indeed normal for teens to test boundaries. They are yearning for independence and trying to establish their own identify and move towards adulthood. Parents should be concerned when youths are engaging in behavior that is reckless and unhealthy, such as drinking, taking drugs, participating in unprotected or indiscriminate sex, staying out late, skipping school, or being involved in a gang activity or delinquent acts, Parents need to make explicit what behavior is acceptable and what behavior is not.

When is it time for parents to seek out professional help?

It is normal for teens to be upset and to sulk when they do not get their own way. However, if the youth withdraws, becomes noncommunicative or belligerent, it is time to get help. Parents should reassure their children that they love them and that they care enough about them to get a third party involved to help the family work through the conflict. Youths will often accept going to a mental health professional if the whole family participates in the therapy. It is important for parents to communicate with their children, to listen, and to be the parents. In some of the parricide cases I have had, parents tried to be their children's friends. Children need their parents to be adults and not try to act as one of their peers. Kids may openly buck the structure. Inwardly, they need, and often crave, stability and reassurance that their parents have the strength to remain in charge.

Read more:
Matricide: A Critique of the Literature courtesy of the journal Trauma, Violence & Abuse (SAGE Publications)

[judy101101]

I am still in shock at the legal way both my parents were killed. My brother, wife and two kids all blotted to kill both my parents - rob them of their graves while still alive to avoid taxes, within months both were dead of natural causes. My fathers will was followed perfectly - he paid his son to kill him and make sure my mother went behind him. My mothers WILL was never followed as she lived at the hands of these abusers and soon developed Alzheimer and her will upon her death is nothing she talked about her entire life. My brother is a true psychopath and raised two very well educated psychopaths who thought nothing of killing both their grandparents and put all assets in their own pockets. Elderly abuse organizations are a joke as I received no interest - hospitals told me I was not legally allowed to see my mothers health records - Police told me I had not rights since I left the abusive environment (I had no rights in the abusive environment, and I have no rights as my mother if I left an abusive environment) - these people are masters of our justice system, they know how to end your life legally - great effort was made to ensure all those who loved my mother were kept away while my brother and his family worked hard at stealing my parents blind then killing them in a manor that looks like natural causes. Put an elderly person in the most stressfully environment and you encourage death by heart problems. There is no question what appears to be natural causes of my mothers death was nothing more then legally allowed to murder your parents for their money- if you can't afford the civil avenue - this is a legal way of killing - I am Judy Lapointe - Daughter of Rita John Lapointe who had two daughters and one son - both daughters have predicted our parents death at the hands of my brother, my brothers wife and children did everything to help, =not stop this alcoholic, drug addicted, gambling now my brother the killer - he has devoted followers who would do anything my brother said because he earns his living by not following any rules - he never has, he never will. he just might live and work in an area near you - good luck to the unexpecting

[tigrion2009]

Today marks the One year Anniversary of my very own personal experience with Matricide. The day my little sisters son bludgeoned her to death with an axe and kitchen knife.
So basically she stupidly kept kitchen knives within the child's reach. In the kitchen utensil drawer.
And the axe?
Well like the piece of crap, abusive, non-human she is now portrayed to be---she took her son camping since he was born and had an axe for chopping wood; oh yeah, she also built him a fire pit in the large yard of the home she bought as a single mother so he could have a stable life. The axe was actually locked in the garage, which he had access to because she 'made' him rake the lawn the day before. Camping season had not yet arrived so I'm 100% certain she neglected to watch her almost adult son even though she was sleeping when he killed her.
What terrifies me the most is that society and people believe this crap.
Why is it that when a murderer kills...oh lets say a little 5 yr old girl---nobody blames the little girl?
Just doesn't make sense.
I lived with this boy half his life, he is 29 days younger than my own son, really it should be my entire fault. As his 17yr old mother put herself through college and obtained 2 REAL Degree's I raised him. The nights she stayed up until 3 or 4 am to finish assignments. The weekly and sometimes daily phone calls from the school to pick him up because he was again expelled. We are talking from Grade 1 on. The fact that she had him in counselling, and every single mental health, child bettering, program within a 1000 mile radius. The fact that she actually charged him twice with assaulting her and putting knives in her floor and destroying her whole home. Well, you see...he was homeless and as a mother she could not sleep at nights knowing her child was on the streets. The fact that every single agency including all police, child welfare, his father, etc...every single one had been involved and washed their hands of him. This fact that she couldn't cut out her own heart and let her baby suffer. This fact that society and even all the professionals who did not---COULD NOT---help her or him is what is the most painful to bear.

[compton79]

so basically never leave an un-attended firearm / weapons in your home , watch the violence your kids are subjected to on a daily basis and show them love and be there for them and i think that should cut your risk in half ( hopefully ) . i also really really beleive that if a parent lets their child grow up thinking he/she is allowed to do anything they want with no boundaries is a big mistake ...its ok to tell your kids NO and start at a young age ..donrt give in to your kids every want ..if you do it will not benefit you or your child ....set limits and stick to them !!!

[tigrion2009]

Basically...Duh! If your house gets broken into is it your fault because you have a house?

[greatlakes99]

I'm surprised there's no comments on this interview.

[tigrion2009]

You'd be very surprised how very little society wants to talk, hear or read about this issue.