Bullying "Not Just a Part of Growing Up"

(CBS)  School officials in South Hadley, Mass., have been criticized by parents for not doing enough to prevent the suicide death of 15-year-old Phoebe Prince, who killed herself after undergoing months of abuse from other students.

Nine teenagers face charges raging from stalking to statutory rape, but prosecutors have not filed charges against school officials who, parents say, were warned in advance of the harassment.

Barbara Coloroso, an educator and an expert on bullying who has spoken to parents and administrators at the school before and after Phoebe's suicide, said she believed school officials had for the most part taken the issue of bullying seriously.

"There had been a death of an 11-year-old in a community not far from there, and they wanted to get on top of it," Coloroso said on CBS' "The Early Show" this morning. "And I spoke with the educators and parents in the community about how important it was to have those three Ps:

"Strong anti-bullying policy; procedures in place that protect the targets and hold bullies accountable; and programs in place that would say 'No more, not here, never' to mean and cruel [behavior] and teach young people how to stand up and speak out."

"Did they implement that?" asked "Early Show" anchor Maggie Rodriguez.

"I think some of the schools actually did," Coloroso said, "but my concern when I went back and talked to the kids and then talked in the community meeting was, again, going back to those three P's - how important it is that we don't just write bullying off as 'Boys will be boys, girls just want to be mean, it's part of growing up.'

"It's not like a conflict - it's about utter contempt for another human being," Coloroso said. "And it's so important that we stop that in its tracks."

She said there are three groups that need to be part of ending bullying: "The kids themselves, because bullying [often] happens under the radar of adults; the parents, because you have to be taught to put somebody outside of your circle of caring and make them an 'it' so you so can do anything to them and not feel any shame or compassion; and school officials. We have as educators a legal obligation to keep our schools safe for everyone."

She said it is important that children know schools will be a safe harbor for them.

"You're not going to like every kid, but you must honor their humanity," Coloroso said.

She said even though policies may be in place, procedures to deal with bullying need to be toughened up. "This is a wake-up call, and I think it will happen."


For more info:
kidsareworthit.com (Coloroso's Web Site)
"The Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander" by Barbara Coloroso (HarperCollins)

[ClownsOnLeft_Jokers2Right]

You have to stand up to the bullies. There is no way around it.

If someone is bullying your kid and the school won't do anything about it, you find out where the bully's parents live and you go have a talk with them. If that doesn't work...you then call the police and get them involved...and if that doesn't work you hire a lawyer and sue theirass.

You have to defend your family, no matter what it takes.

[noloyalisti]

Unfortunately it take something like this to make the complicit, ignorant, uneducated American sheeple wake the heck up. It seems that we can't prevent our ugly mindless ways of ignoring reality. Until it's a crisis.

[Jinxkity2]

The behavior of the bullies is a true reflection of how our kids are being raised ... by television. All of the popular shows reflect backstabbing, caddy, rude behavior and we're surprised when our kids display the same?!? Let It To Beaver may have been over the top, but at least the message was positive instead of negitive. So either we demand better of the entertainment industry, parents do a better job of policing what their kids watch (which ain't gonna happen) or we continue to read such heart breaking stories where 10 families are forever changed.

[Jinxkity2]

And, yes, I know it's Leave It To Beaver ...

[tmittelstaed]

Coloroso is an idiot, this is just more educatorspeak for circling the wagons.

There's only ONE thing that stops a bully and that's a bigger bully (ie: the police)

The ONLY answer for a high school bully is to have them arrested and prosecuted for harassment. Period, end of story.

If a principle is walking down the hall and sees one kid push another kid into a locker, then that's illegal harassment. Arrest the kid. Send them through the courts. I guarentee that after their parents feel the pinch of paying for a lawyer that that high school bully isn't ever going to bully anyone again.

The biggest reason that kids in high school DON'T complain about bullying is because the educators like Coloroso don't really do anything about it. They setup meetings and call the kids into the office and lecture them. Big fragging deal. The High School bully DOESEN'T respect the principal. They don't care if they get detention. The ONLY thing they respect is is the police show up and they go to jail. But the educators DON'T want the police involved because it "makes them look bad"

If you have high school aged children the best thing you can do for them is to sit them down and tell them flat out that if are ever subject to bullying they have the right to call 911, right there on the spot - and you damn well expect them to do it. Call 911, get the cops in the school, and don't move until the cops come. Ignore the principal, ignore the teachers, ignore their friends telling them to just come on and forget about it - just stand your ground and call the cops. Once the cops come and take the police report - THEN you can sit down with the principal and decide if your going to press charges. But to hell with this "school policies and procedures" crap. Let the school make whatever policies and procedures it wants to make - if your bullied, your being assulted and that's illegal and you have the right to see your attacker arrested and charged with a crime.

[watkinsjr2000]

CompletelyFrustrated States:

Who are you kidding??? Now I did not vote for Obama, but only because I absolutely hate Joe Biden. He has not been completely truthful and Nancy Pelosi is the biggest liar of them all!

While I think some of what Obama has done is good - the complete mismanagement of the finances are an abomination caused by the corrupt people in office regardless of the party.

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Please fill us in on what in the world this statement has to do with kids being bullied in school.Not everything in the world is related to politics!!

[cebling-2009]

When I was growing up it was obvious who were the bullies and who were the bullied. But so much of this behavior happens on line via texting and sites like Facebook now that it often goes undetected by those in a position to intervene. Some of the things that kids do to each other behind the curtain of on line anonymity is simply vicious.

[djseavy]

I posted my views on www.brainwreck.net This activity is as uncivilized as it can get.

[lulucleo]

P94932-Completely agree with you. That's how we dealt with bullies in my day

[gaval02]

I was more scared of the consequences at home and within the school that I literally let my bullies get away with it since all the school officials would just say it's a part of life...whatever, I don't condone fighting in order to resolve issues, but I do feel cornered into approving for my child to be mean in return if ever bullied! It's worked so far...but just as well, it does begin with the parents to not approve of hazing type behavior even from your own bullied child when he attempts to be the bully. Guess he feels if you can't beat them, join 'em. Our children of this generation shouldn't feel that they should become one of "them". Right??

[p94932]

the only way to handle bullys is to take them out! they pick on you, you punch their lights out!

[watkinsjr2000]

That might be good advice to give to Chuck Norris. But, most bullies choose targets that are smaller & weaker than they are to pick on.And, in those cases your advice would probably only result in the bully beating the poor victim senseless-or something worse.Lots of cities have problems with kids bringing knives or guns to school.Trying to stand up to an armed bully might very well prove to be a fatal mistake.

[michael_lyns]

Don't blame the Parents, at least not all of them. Kids feed off of each other and are heavily influenced by both their peers and what they see and hear adults do and say, including the so called artists who are making music, TV, and movies these days. What is American Idol if nothing other than a glorified bullying session where Simon Cowell serially shames and humiliates the hapless fools who dare to not live up to his artistic standards? If schools really want to stop bullying, they need to get to know their kids more and they need to continually ask them, in small groups or when they are alone, if there is bullying going on. (Perhaps in written surveys) Kids who are being bullied won't talk about it to authority figures (including parents) because the bullies have already made them feel like they are on the "outside", talking to adults would only heighten this effect. With social media now it is also easier for kids to engage in this behavior, some of them may never have done this sort of stuff in real life but will do so online. Man's inhumanity to man is a serial theme in all of human history, which is why religions and other social institutions have sought for ages to inculcate a sense of moral values and standards of behavior that everyone should abide by. Are schools teaching ethics and actually upholding these standards? If not, then there is your real problem, and there is little that a parent can do when a Child's daily reality is a living contradiction to what they are being taught in the home. I guess this is why people home school their kids.