Florida Vampire to Run For President

(CBS)  Not satisfied with living in Florida, Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey wants to move to Washington, D.C., to become the nation's first vampire president, reports CBS affiliate WTSP.

Sharkey, 45, spent Friday on a Greyhound bus with his new fiancee, Audrianna Foster, a 19-year-old girl from Ohio he met online. She too believes she is a vampire, or vampyre.

See pictures of Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey,
Florida vampire running for president



"I haven't dated a girl older than 19 since 2006," said the Tampa man as his 19-year-old daughter and his 2-year-old grandson met him at the Greyhound station. "It's good to be me."

"The Impaler" claims he's a direct descendent of Vlad II the Impaler, better known as Dracula.

He has scheduled a Monday press conference in Tampa to announce his plans to file paperwork to run for President of the United States in 2012. He recently switched his party affiliation from Independent to Republican so he can run with the G.O.P.

He ran for Governor of Minnesota in 2006 and also had short-lived bids for U.S. Senate in 2000, U.S. President in 2004, and U.S. President in 2008.

In an extended interview with WTSP, Sharkey shared well-thought-out opinions on capital punishment, the abortion issue, and veterans issues. However, he also bragged about having numerous teen-aged girlfriends in recent years.

The girls have also provided several skeletons in Sharkey's closet.

He's accused of "brainwashing" a 16-year-old in Minnesota. The two were engaged until last month. Her family now has a restraining order against Sharkey and claims his texts to her violate it.

He reportedly admitted to harassing another 16-year-old Minnesota girl online in 2009.

He was arrested in Tennessee several years ago and is currently on probation from Indiana after he was found guilty in 2009 of intimidating a judge. He served six months in a Marion Co. jail before his release. Sources confirm the Secret Service has had to keep him on its radar, since he moves around the country.

Sharkey was once on the Executive Committee of the Hillsborough Co. Republican Party (HCRP) in the 1990s, but A.J. Matthews, HCRP State Committeeman, says he didn't show any of the extreme behaviors he's exhibiting now.

"He does believe in Republican values," Matthews said. "Is he going to make a big splash with his current identification of being a vampire? That's up to the voters to decide."

Matthews said he'd help Sharkey with campaign basics, just like he would any Republican candidate. But he's been trying to advise him to focus on mainstream issues and away from the extreme behaviors.
Sharkey, meanwhile, continues to develop a movie on his campaign, "The True Impaler."

[stumboguy1]

wow. is this edited by a high school editor? ...and who allows these childish comments? does anyone at this 'news' rag do their job? 'vampire running for president'. 'aliens got me pregnant'. Rag headlines and comments spewing high school level hate and spew. I wont return to CBS 'news'.

[Tepes77]

I would love to see the proof this guy has stateing he is a relative of Vlad II. Of course, Vlad III was known as tepes or impailer not his father Vlad II. This guy is just another nut case trying to be interesting enough to get votes. He doesn't stand a chance in hell of winning. What a crazy fu*# nut!

[pr_boxer]

I think this dude is Antonin Scalia's half-brother, and he's hoping he can snag Ann Coulter as his first lady.

Wait! now I recognize him , its Rush Limbaugh in drag.

[DJBALL420]

A parasitical diddler of children ?
Sounds like a textbook GOP candidate.
These guys are always diddling children or committing homosexual acts.

[fedup12]

ROFLOL.

He should fit right in with his big boss Cheney..... And other angels of darkness like Rove.

[watkinsjr2000]

This dude would fit right in with the current leadership in the GOP!!

[Lawyers-Guns-n-Money-01]

Emanuel: "Fringe Group" Controlling GOP

Nuff said.

[Monasheiro]

I have to say this the UGLIEST vampire I've ever seen. The best course of action would be for him to impale himself. His political veiws are tyranical and also at the same time hypocritical. I agree, he's no better than most politicians out there, but for crying out loud this guy has broken the law in more than one state and is now publicly running for an office. Someone be smart enough and arrest him when you see him!

[freddyfrugag]

He'll have a long wait to become president. Who knows how long the Dark One (Dick Cheney) will be immortal? 15 heart attacks later, he still lives. Obvious proof that HE's the senior vampire.

[poptartevil]

See, political ideologies aside and potential pedopheliac tendencies aside, I'm irked about his bad historicism. Vlad II was the father of Dracula, ie., Vlad III. Furthermore, if you forgive the pun, Dracula only has one living blood relative who currently lives in Bucharest. All of Dracula's sons and grandsons were pretty brutally hewn down within roughly a hundred years after "the Impaler's" death. However, any man who claims to be the true impaler, and bases is political campaign on trying to emulate a bad combination of Bram Stoker's vampire novel and a Machiavellian medieval tyrant is an excellent vote for the Republican ballot.

[Antilefty]

You meant this ****** is an excellant candidate for the Democrat socialists. After all, they are the real bloodsuckers!!