Mid-Apology, Woods Denies Drug Use

(CBS/ AP)  Buried in the middle of Tiger Woods' silence-breaking apology for his extramarital affairs Friday was a vehement denial that he's ever used performance-enhancing drugs.

"Some people have made up things that never happened. They said I used performance-enhancing drugs. This is completely and utterly false," Woods said during a televised statement at the PGA's headquarters in Ponte Vedra, Fla.

Woods' response likely stems from rumors that circulated when a doctor who once treated him was arrested in Toronto last October and found with human growth hormone and Actovegin, a drug extracted from calf's blood, The New York Times reported.

Special Report: The Return of Tiger

The FBI opened an investigation based in part on medical records found on Dr. Anthony Galea's computer relating to several professional athletes, people briefed on the inquiry told the Times on condition of anonymity.

Galea visited Woods' home in Florida at least four times in February and March, the newspaper reported, to provide that platelet therapy after his agents were concerned by his slow recovery from June 2008 knee surgery.

While acknowledging he used HGH himself for 10 years, Galea told the newspaper he never gave any athletes the substance, which was banned by the World Anti-Doping Agency. And Galea told the Times he has never combined HGH or Actovegin with his platelet treatments.

"All these athletes come see me in Canada cause I fix them, and I think people just assume that I'm giving them stuff," he told the newspaper. "They don't have to come to me to get HGH and steroids. You can walk into your local gym in New York and get HGH."

Prescribing HGH is legal in Canada; it can be used in the United States but only in a few instances that don't include hastening recovery from surgery.

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Top 20 Things Tiger Shouldn't Say At His Press Conference

20) " I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in even though this is rehearsed. I thought the rules didn't apply to me. But they do. I've never done any performance enhancing drugs. I have had Minute Maid and sniffed a little glue at one time or another like anybody else. I would like to ask the press to leave my wife and kids alone. I can verify any rumors about anymore infidelity to them without your help. I must start living a life of integrity without wild unprotected sex that can get caught by the press. Character and decency are important when using Trojan condoms.
I strayed away from Buddhism and went straight into hard core Bootyism. "
19 ) " I am sorry that I was caught and now have to apologize to so many women that I will never have sex with."'
18) '' When hearing my caddy scream hole in one. I had no idea how man holes I could get into off of the course."
17 ) " Yes, I AM TIGER. I AM TIGER. I AM A SEX MACHINE. I AM A GIGOLO. I AM MAN. THEY ARE WOMEN.
I AM A SEX ADDICT. I'M NOT ARROGANT. I'M TRYING TO APOLOGIZE. ''
16) '' I apologize to my wife and my fans. Because I had so many women on my TO DO LIST.''
15) '' My 9 clubs are usually saved for the golfing tour and not for my head. Elin never hit me.
Whenever I say foursome. I mean FOUR! ''
14) " It was never my intention to engage in any lascivious behavior with any Disney Characters."
13) I am sorry that I didn't know about the settings on my I-Phone before this happened to me."
12) '' I do believe that all fire hydrants should be safe for the fire departments and dogs to use.''
11)'' Yes, I was sex-texting before I had my crash."
10) I don't need racial diversity training like people think. Yes, I know some of them were s****s and weren't black women. But somebody had to hit it.
9) I received no personal consultation from Congressman Joe Wilson and his white supremacy group Sons OF The Confederacy on the rules of lying.
8) '' I NEVER had sex with that woman! But I did have sex with that woman."
7) '' No I haven't gotten any email from the Pope about my playlist. Noo! No! My music playlist. ''
6) '' No, I don't endorse sex with animals like some people do."
5) '' Yes, I do endorse hanging out with girl groupies like John Mayer and saying the '' N'' word.
4) '' I'm sorry, son. I'm not your father. But I did have sex with your mother."
3) '' No, I don't have a Top Ten List for Women for the Lettermen Show.''
2) '' No! No! The rumors about a Tiger Woods SEX App for the I-Phone are all untrue."

Top 20 Reason No. 1

'' Look! The rumors about me being booked
through out the summer at the Bunny Ranch in Las Vegas are false."

WHO CARES? Could switching to GEICO now
save him 15% or more on his car insurance?
Are his girlfriends also insured?
WHAT? Is he crying?

[scubbasteve01]

Top 20 Things Tiger Shouldn't Say At His Press Conference

20) " I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in even though this is rehearsed. I thought the rules didn't apply to me. But they do. I've never done any performance enhancing drugs. I have had Minute Maid and sniffed a little glue at one time or another like anybody else. I would like to ask the press to wive and kids alone. I can verify any rumors about anymore infidelity to them without your help. I must start living a life of integrity without wild unprotected sex that can get caught by the press. Character and decency are important when using Trojan condoms.
I strayed away from Buddhism and went straight into hard core Bootyism. "
19 ) " I am sorry that I was caught and now have to apologize to so many women that I will never have sex with."'
18) '' When hearing my caddy scream hole in one. I had no idea how man holes I could get into off of the course."
17 ) " Yes, I AM TIGER. I AM TIGER. I AM A SEX MACHINE. I AM A GIGOLO. I AM MAN. THEY ARE WOMEN.
I AM A SEX ADDICT. I'M NOT ARROGANT. I'M TRYING TO APOLOGIZE. ''
16) '' I apologize to my wife and my fans. Because I had so many women on my TO DO LIST.''
15) '' My 9 clubs are usually saved for the golfing tour and not for my head. Elin never hit me.
Whenever I say foursome. I mean FOUR! ''
14) " It was never my intention to engage in any lascivious behavior with any Disney Characters."
13) I am sorry that I didn't know about the settings on my I-Phone before this happened to me."
12) '' I do believe that all fire hydrants should be safe for the fire departments and dogs to use.''
11)'' Yes, I was sex-texting before I had my crash."
10) I don't need racial diversity training like people think. Yes, I know some of them were s****s and weren't black women. But somebody had to hit it.
9) I received no personal consultation from Congressman Joe Wilson and his white supremacy group Sons OF The Confederacy on the rules of lying.
8) '' I NEVER had sex with that woman! But I did have sex with that woman."
7) '' No I haven't gotten any email from the Pope about my playlist. Noo! No! My music playlist. ''
6) '' No, I don't endorse sex with animals like some people do."
5) '' Yes, I do endorse hanging out with girl groupies like John Mayer and saying the '' N'' word.
4) '' I'm sorry, son. I'm not your father. But I did have sex with your mother."
3) '' No, I don't have a Top Ten List for Women for the Lettermen Show.''
2) '' No! No! The rumors about a Tiger Woods SEX App for the I-Phone are all untrue."

Top 20 Reason No. 1

'' Look! The rumors about me being booked
through out the summer at the Bunny Ranch in Las Vegas are false."

WHO CARES? Could switching to GEICO now
save him 15% or more on his car insurance?
Are his girlfriends also insured?
WHAT? Is he crying?