December 21, 2009 3:22 PM
- Text
Yes, Virginia, There Is a Techno Claus
(CBS)
'Tis the season for gift giving and Christmas Rhymes.
So here's David Pogue of The New York Times:
'Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the land,
The crisis of shopping for gifts was at hand.
To find useful presents, all new and high-tech,
That don't cost too much - what a pain in the neck!
But guidance is coming! Please hold the applause,
And stand by for ideas from me - Techno Claus!
Like this! It's a Nikon - I know, right? Big deal.
You call this a breakthrough? A camera? Get real!
But this one performs a spectacular stunt:
A tiny projector's built right in the front!
For slideshows, the regular screen is too small,
But now you can point at a ceiling or wall!
How 'bout a sound system all through your house,
Downstairs playing Devo, upstairs playing Strauss?
But who can afford it? The wiring, the stress,
The pricey installers who build the whole mess?
The Sonos S5 does away with all that;
They're wireless speakers (and good ones, at that).
If you keep all your music in iTunes or such,
You control the whole thing from your iPhone or Touch.
If your loved one could stand to get slightly more fit,
But needs motivation, well, friends, this is it.
The Philips DirectLife, a wearable thing,
That measures your daily activity - bling!
It comes with a charger, a small USB,
That transfers your data to Mac or PC.
You follow your progress online, an approach
That's assisted by tips from a personal coach.
Internet hot spots are glorious things
They get you online with no wires, no strings.
The trouble is, hot spots fill limited space -
And worse, hot spots usually stay in one place.
The MiFi's a personal one for your car,
Or walking around, or wherever you are.
You pay by the month, but you know what? That's fine.
It is totally cool to be always online!
And speaking of traveling: it can be fun,
In many respects, yes, except for this one:
Your pockets produce a small snowstorm of sheets -
Your boss makes you tally those cursed receipts!
Technology offers an easier way:
The Neat Receipts scanner just slurps them away.
It studies the scan, fills the blanks one by one,
Then spits out the finished report . . . and you're done!
OK! So your spouse has some high-tech machine,
Some gadget with buttons (or worse, a touch screen).
In winter, how do you control the above,
With fingertips sealed in the typical glove?
Here's how to perform all your gadgety chores:
The Freehand gloves come with these little trapdoors.
There's one for your index, and one for your thumb,
You can type, then withdraw them, before they get numb.
So there's my suggestions; that's all for this year;
May they bring to your loved ones some geeky good cheer.
And now I'll exclaim, 'ere I make my retreat:
Shiny gadgets to all . . . 'till they're all obsolete!
For more info:
Nikon Projector Camera
Sonos S5 wireless speakers
Philips Direct Life
Novatel Mifi
Neat Receipts
Freehand Gloves
So here's David Pogue of The New York Times:
'Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the land,
The crisis of shopping for gifts was at hand.
To find useful presents, all new and high-tech,
That don't cost too much - what a pain in the neck!
But guidance is coming! Please hold the applause,
And stand by for ideas from me - Techno Claus!
Like this! It's a Nikon - I know, right? Big deal.
You call this a breakthrough? A camera? Get real!
But this one performs a spectacular stunt:
A tiny projector's built right in the front!
For slideshows, the regular screen is too small,
But now you can point at a ceiling or wall!
How 'bout a sound system all through your house,
Downstairs playing Devo, upstairs playing Strauss?
But who can afford it? The wiring, the stress,
The pricey installers who build the whole mess?
The Sonos S5 does away with all that;
They're wireless speakers (and good ones, at that).
If you keep all your music in iTunes or such,
You control the whole thing from your iPhone or Touch.
If your loved one could stand to get slightly more fit,
But needs motivation, well, friends, this is it.
The Philips DirectLife, a wearable thing,
That measures your daily activity - bling!
It comes with a charger, a small USB,
That transfers your data to Mac or PC.
You follow your progress online, an approach
That's assisted by tips from a personal coach.
Internet hot spots are glorious things
They get you online with no wires, no strings.
The trouble is, hot spots fill limited space -
And worse, hot spots usually stay in one place.
The MiFi's a personal one for your car,
Or walking around, or wherever you are.
You pay by the month, but you know what? That's fine.
It is totally cool to be always online!
And speaking of traveling: it can be fun,
In many respects, yes, except for this one:
Your pockets produce a small snowstorm of sheets -
Your boss makes you tally those cursed receipts!
Technology offers an easier way:
The Neat Receipts scanner just slurps them away.
It studies the scan, fills the blanks one by one,
Then spits out the finished report . . . and you're done!
OK! So your spouse has some high-tech machine,
Some gadget with buttons (or worse, a touch screen).
In winter, how do you control the above,
With fingertips sealed in the typical glove?
Here's how to perform all your gadgety chores:
The Freehand gloves come with these little trapdoors.
There's one for your index, and one for your thumb,
You can type, then withdraw them, before they get numb.
So there's my suggestions; that's all for this year;
May they bring to your loved ones some geeky good cheer.
And now I'll exclaim, 'ere I make my retreat:
Shiny gadgets to all . . . 'till they're all obsolete!
For more info:
Nikon Projector Camera
Sonos S5 wireless speakers
Philips Direct Life
Novatel Mifi
Neat Receipts
Freehand Gloves
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