Rihanna Crusades For Battered Women

(CBS)  By Melissa Castellanos

Pop singer Rihanna has had a lot of "Disturbia" going on under that "Umbrella" of hers this past year, but she tells Glamour magazine that she wants to turn things around and shed some light on the reality of domestic violence.

Named "Woman of the Year" by Glamour, the the 21-year-old Barbadian singer, who was overwhelmed by the media frenzy after being attacked by former boyfriend, R&B singer Chris Brown - is embracing change.

"I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears," she is quoted in Glamour's December issue. "That was the level of media chaos that happened the next day."
Photos: Rihanna
Notebook: Rihanna
Photos: Chris Brown

Rihanna, whose real name is Robyn Rihanna Fenty, also admitted to Glamour that she was humiliated when a photo of her swollen, bruised and bloodied face was leaked to the media. Despite her shame, she wants to use her experience to make young women aware of the "big secret" about abusive relationships.

"It was humiliating: that is not a photo you would show to anybody," she told Glamour. "I felt completely taken advantage of. I felt like people were making it into a fun topic on the Internet, and it's my life."

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Both Rihanna and Brown took the R&B world by storm with their talent, impressive dance moves and good looks.

But when Brown, 20, assaulted Rihanna before the Grammy Awards kicked off in Los Angeles, his career came to a sudden halt.

Sentenced to five years probation and community service in August, Brown has publicly apologized, in the hopes of redeeming himself to his fans.

Ironically his song, "Forever" became a YouTube sensation when a couple and their wedding party danced down the isle to Brown's song. The song and an interpretation of the dancing wedding was also recently featured on an episode of NBC's "The Office," as well.

Rihanna took home the award for the World's Best-Selling Pop Female Artist and Female Entertainer of the Year at the 2007 World Music Awards, as well as the award for Favorite Soul/R&B Female Artist and Favorite Pop/Rock Female Artist at the 2008 American Music Awards.

The star, whose hits include "Umbrella," "Disturbia" and "Don't Stop the Music," has collaborated with Rapper Jay-Z, who recently performed at Game 1 of the World Series alongside singer Alicia Keys.

Rihanna is taking the good from the bad and is now speaking out on behalf of young women, who've experienced what she has.

"Teenage girls can't tell their parents that their boyfriend beats them up...It's one of the things we (women) hide because it's embarrassing," Rihanna said. "I want to give as much insight as I can to young women because I feel like I represent a voice that isn't really heard. Now I can help speak for those women."

Rihanna will release her new album, "Rated R" on Nov. 23. It will be her first CD since 2007's "Good Girl Gone Bad," which went multi-platinum.

[toldyouso21]

Uh huh. Guess Chris Browns career was not the only one that suffered from Rhianna playing the stupid, loving victim role. No doubt, she suffered a backlash from many women and men who felt her going back was not only ill advised and weak, but it also sent the wrong message not only to young girls but to Chris Brown. Thank you to the judge who ordered no contact, when the two people involved were too weak, blind or ignorant to do so for themselves. That breathing time allowed something to seep into Rhianna's head. Either that, or her fan base dropped off too as people considered how stupid she was for going back to her abuser.

good luck Rhianna and remember--if a man abuses you once--he WILL do it again, unless he is dead.

[cidaia]

It is very important that we maintain adequate laws to enable victims of violent crime to seek justice. The bad old days when wife-beating was legal must NOT be allowed to return.

That said, I just can't get my mind around a world where it's considered bigotry to suggest that a woman can't be just as good at being a soldier as a man - but they can't figure out how to stand up to a misbehaving boyfriend.

Which is it? Are women equal and grown-ups and capable of taking responsibility for our life-choices, or do women need guardians to take care of us and keep us safe from our own stupidity and incompetence, like little children do?

As near as I can see, domestic violence is like a "dance" with stakes that grow higher and scarier the longer BOTH participants continue it. The "physical abuse" partner grows more violent, but the "revenge via shaming" partner grows more shrill and judgmental, doing things like trying to wreck her lover's life by holding him up as proof that once a man starts hitting, there's nothing left but for the rest of the entire Greek tragedy to play out in its usual and inevitably doomed format.

Meanwhile, if the two of them accepted they are caught in a "cycle", they could get cognitive behavioral therapy which is the ONLY thing that actually WORKS to break the "cycle of violence".

[toldyouso21]

Your post started out so intelligently then descended into your own ignorant pathos. Women or men who return to their abuser do so for a number of reasons. It is not that the victim is playing out a Greek Tragedy (I know of none where wife beating and returning was done) it is a form of conditioning. Some people return out of fear or a misplaced sense of loyalty, some return due to them believing the bible mandates they stand by their spouse or boyfriend. Some return because they do not think they can make it without their man--some refuse to return and are hunted down by their spouse or ex spouse and killed. (many men warn and mean it when they say if the woman leaves them they will punish or kill her or her kids or their family and DO it in the end--and police rarely can protect such women, even if they are in hiding due to no crime or proof of crime having occurred at the time of the threat--if no proof of the threat is produced)

So there are many reasons, but the seed of both the abuser and abused usually starts in childhood with both growing up to believe the behavior of abuse or taking it is okay or the norm. If a person grows up in a culture or family where abuse either sexual/physical/mental or emotional has taken place--then they are more apt to accept such behavior or even subconsciously seek such a situation out. It is human nature to try to repeat either in dreams or in reality, traumatic events and try for a different outcome. It is not willful. But it does explain why women with abusive fathers often choose men that have the same traits--they somehow think that "this time" for them, it will be different because they are not like their mothers--they seek to correct an issue that scarred them. They are not aware they are doing this, and seldom are humans introspective enough to evaluate their own actions.

Men who witness or are abused, seek also to reenact, but in their case, they seek to turn the tables and this time around --be the dominant (the abuser) instead of the abused--because what males feel at the time of abuse is humiliation and impotence--when they turn the tables it is to assuage these feelings.

As to the other part of your post: I agree, women are not suited for combat if they cannot analyze and disassociate emotion from the pragmatism and common sense of survival and self defense. Meaning if women are prone to seek out and continue in self destructive behavior and cannot protect themselves, there is great irony in saying they can handle what a man can--circumstances are not likely to accommodate themselves to a war--which means women are not likely suited in hand to hand combat or where the myriad of choices may involve emotional aspects--like blow up a house with kids in it. But then again--some women could do that. Abuse and the response to abuse is very individualistic as are women. Some can triumph and survive it--others are eternal victims--.

[newsworthy8]

We, in the USA have a lot more to be concerned about vs this kind of garbage..we need to deal with real issues, not rap ****...

[marcetienne1]

What a hypocrite. She slaps him around and then campaign against IPV without taking any responsibility for her own IPV.

I did NOT say her violence justifies his. But her violence wasn't justified either, and she should woman up to it. But she and the hypocritical media ignores her violence, because she's female.

A major study funded by the Centers for Disease Control found "Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases." http://www.ajph.org/cgi/content/abstract/97/5/941

"More women than men (25% versus 11%) were responsible. In fact, 71 percent of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were women" and "while injury was more likely when violence was perpetrated by men, in relationships with reciprocal violence it was the men who were injured more often (25% of the time) than were women (20% of the time)." http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/42/15/31-a

In fact over 200 studies and growing confirm that "women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners," as Cal State University Professor Martin Fiebert shows in his online bibliography at http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

For example, a recent 32-nation study by the University of New Hampshire found women are as violent and controlling as men in relationships worldwide. http://www.unh.edu/news/cj_nr/2006/may/em_060519male.cfm?type=n
http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/ID41E2.pdf

There is NO EXCUSE FOR THE MEDIA TO COVER THIS UP.

[daffy64]

That's because when women get hit, it's a tragedy. When men get hit, it's "funny". Har hee harr harrrrr.

Just turn on the TV. I'm always seeing men get "comically" belted by women in ads and shows.

Violence ain't cool.

Period.

[CompletelyFrustrated]

I agree with you here! Now she's a domestic violence advocate because of one fight??

People forget that it was her uncontrolled jealousy that started all of this and she struck first over another woman on his cell phone! Now I do not condone physical violence in any way shape or form, but she is not owning up to her role in this at all.

That photo was leaked on purpose because of her jealousy, anger and wanting to hurt Chris Brown publicly. I still question the credibility of that photo.

I am very glad Chris Brown spoke up and spoke against what he did. That way no young men will think it is OK to hit their girlfriends regardless of their actions.

I hope they both move on and do well in their lives. Sorry to say I do not like her, but I do like his music.

[daffy64]

"It was humiliating: that is not a photo you would show to anybody,"


Well at least she wasn't naked and wrapped in barbed wire. That's the photo she WANTED everyone to see.

What a bimbo.