Andy's Advice To The Airlines

(CBS)  I fly maybe 25 or 30 times a year. None of the airlines have asked for my advice but I'm going to give them some anyway.

The good thing the airlines have going for them is we all like to go somewhere - our motto is "Anywhere but here."

I don't complain about airlines. I would, but everyone else does and I hate to be part of the crowd. But getting somewhere ought to be fun and too often it's unpleasant.

A number of years ago, there was a story about someone in an plane trying to light a bomb he was hiding in his shoe and ever since that day, every passenger going on a plane to anywhere has to take off his shoes. I mean one nut, years ago, who may or may not have had anything in mind, has made millions of us take off our shoes every time we get on an airplane.

Do I look like someone who would hide a bomb in his shoe? I say "his" because "her" shoes are too small for a bomb.

Airlines keep adding to the price of a ticket too, and I usually check a bag. The last time I flew, the airline charged me $15.00 for a bag that had about $12.00 worth of stuff in it.

Half the time you have a folksy pilot. One of the best ways to pass the time in flight is by nodding off and I wish pilots wouldn't keep waking us by making sure we see the view.

"There's a great view of the Rockies, ladies and gentlemen over there on the right".

Well, thanks a lot captain, I was sleeping and I happen to be over here on the left. Where were you when we wanted to know why our flight was an hour late leaving?

And by the way, I'd be willing to pay a little extra if you'd stop serving low fat, no salt, formerly fresh turkey breast on a wet roll.

My advice to airlines is this: keep it simple, leave on time and get there when you said you would. We'll get something to eat later.


Written by Andy Rooney

[atuneve]

If anyone stops to consider that there are 12X's more passenger jets in the air than just 10 years ago, it is remarkable anyone ever gets anywhere on time, or there aren't more massive accidents on runways as controllers try to juggle too many planes in too small a space. No wonder so many Americans are on SSRI's to try to manage the stress in their lives. The sale of those meds is up 17X's since 95.... They also provoke aggressive behavior in the amygdala, the emotional center of the brain. This nation will not survive if such trends continue....

[nlderek]

Andy Rooney, you seem to be out of touch with reality. I would have thought as a much respected journalist, you would check your facts before making a page long inaccurate rant.

First of all - airlines have absolutely no control over the shoe removal requirement. The TSA, run by the Department of Homeland Security, is who requires this. Don't like it? Then I suggest you tell your congressman - not the airlines.

Secondly - when is the last time you were served anything to eat on a domestic flight? Virtually every airline has already eliminated meals, except some you may purchase. Everyone just brings their own stuff on now.

Third - I fly dozens of times a year and to date I do not recall a single pilot waking me up to tell me of the Rocky Mountains or anything else for that matter.

And finally, some may be with you to a point on baggage fees, however before these cost were already added to the ticket - and now only those who use the service pay. Why should I pay for you to lug your $12 worth of stuff across the country?

[djseavy]

For all the inconvenience we go through at the gate, contraband still finds its way onto the aircraft. And pilots - when they're sober - play with their laptops and overshoot their destination. POOR POOR AIRLINES

[ALBrainTrust10]

THOSE PILOTS WERE ASLEEP! Not playing with their laptops.

They have paid for their lies with the revocation of their licenses.

FAA swift to do the right thing for once!

[beavah]

I couldn't agree more, Mr. Rooney. I'm tired of being "gate-raped" at the airport.

[treeman1944]

I try to avoid flying. Yes, airports and all the security is annoying. There are a few rotten apples who've chosen to ruin the experience for the rest of use. Though annoying, it is an unescapable fact of the day and I can accept that.

The part I really dislike is the airplane! I'm 6 ft. 2 in. and 185 lbs. - maybe a little to the right on the bell-shaped curve but certainly not at the extreme edge, either. As I board the plane and look for my seat, I grab three pillows because I know my head can not rest on the seat (a guaranteed crick in the neck) unless I slide my hips forward on the seat. Of course that means my back is no longer properly supported by the seat and it soons begins to ache - thus the pillows. Of course that also means I've shortened up the leg room which is already at a premium.

I like watching the countryside go by as, I'm sure, do most airline passengers. So why do the airplane manufacturers insist on putting the windows at chest height and, usually, right at my elbow? Either way, it generally results in a crick in the neck.

[The airplane engineers must all be about 5 ft. 6 in. tall and around 130 pounds.]

[dan3mike]

Mr Rooney

Maybe if the city, state and federal governments stopped using airlines as their cash cow, things would be better for the travelers. There are at least 6-8 taxes applied to each ticket. I don't blame the airlines for adding a baggage charge, it's the only thing that is not taxed to death....for now. Maybe if the government laid off on the taxes there would be more funds available to enhance the travel experience.

Daniel

[daisey2633]

I have some advice for Andy Rooney. I have worked for the airline industry for 15 years total. The comment that was made in this commentary was way off and completely disrespectful not to the airlines but to the people that lost loved ones during 911. I will never forget and the same attitude that is displayed in this story is why things happen. Does Mr. Rooney "Look" like someone that would be carrying a bomb in his shoe? I don't think that those hijackers on those aircrafts that day "looked" like they were going to do harm. What exactly does someone look like if they are going to put a bomb in their shoe? That was a horrible comment! As far as the baggage fees I agree with you on that, but I can say that I bet you that if you were not charged for it when you checked your bag...you would be charged for it anyway when purchasing your ticket, it would just be another "hidden charge". When speaking of the captain telling everyone about the "great view of the rockies", just because you may not have been interested in that there may have been people that were. I have learned from dealing with the public on a daily basis, you cannot please everyone. My question is, Why is it that when people are going on vacation, are they so miserable? Okay so your flight is delayed, trust me I have been delayed for days, and I know it is miserable, especially if you cannot get any information from the airline. But when it comes all down to it, I will let the security check my shoes, I will pay $15 for my bag, I will take a delay on a flight and I will listen to the captain talk about the Rockies....as long as get there safe!

[omnibus66]

So you are willing to give up comfort, convenience, and respect, and have no problem being ripped of in the name of a false sense of security. I had to pick up and carry my wheelchair confined 95 year old mother through the metal detector at the Atlanta airport. I guess she "looked like" a terrorist.

She was in middle stages of Alzheimer's at the time, and asked me why all the fuss, and why did I take her shoes off. When I replied to her that they thought she might have a bomb in her shoes, the TSA idiot's threatened to arrest me for saying the word "bomb", even though I was speaking to her in a low voice.

Indeed, "we have met the enemy, and he is us".

[DoubleHappiness88]

Just imagine... Ms. Daisey2633 Motor Mouth sitting next to you
on a long flight!

Yikes!