Columbine Mom: "No Inkling" Son Suicidal

Dylan Klebold's Mother Makes First Pubic Remarks in Essay in O, The Oprah Magazine

(AP)  In the first detailed public remarks by any parent of the two Columbine killers, Dylan Klebold's mother says she had no idea her son was suicidal until she read his journals after the 1999 high school massacre.

Susan Klebold's essay in next month's issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, says she is still struggling to make sense of what happened when her son and Eric Harris killed 12 students and a teacher in the shooting rampage at Columbine High School in suburban Denver. Twenty-one people were injured before Klebold and Harris killed themselves.

"For the rest of my life, I will be haunted by the horror and anguish Dylan caused," she wrote. "I cannot look at a child in a grocery store or on the street without thinking about how my son's schoolmates spent the last moments of their lives. Dylan changed everything I believed about myself, about God, about family, and about love."

The killers' parents have repeatedly declined to talk about the massacre. They gave depositions in a lawsuit filed by families of the victims, but a judge in 2007 sealed them for 20 years after the lawsuit was settled out of court.

In her essay, Susan Klebold wrote that she didn't know her son was so disturbed.

"Dylan's participation in the massacre was impossible for me to accept until I began to connect it to his own death," she wrote in excerpts released by the magazine ahead of Tuesday's publication. "Once I saw his journals, it was clear to me that Dylan entered the school with the intention of dying there. And so in order to understand what he might have been thinking, I started to learn all I could about suicide."

In a statement with the essay, Oprah Winfrey wrote that Susan Klebold has turned down repeated interview requests but finally agreed to write an essay for O. A spokeswoman for the magazine said Klebold was not paid for the essay, and there were no plans for her to appear on Winfrey's television show.

A spokeswoman for the Klebold family said there would be no further statements.

In the essay, Klebold said her son left early for school on the day of the shootings.

"Early on April 20, I was getting dressed for work when I heard Dylan bound down the stairs and open the front door. Wondering why he was in such a hurry when he could have slept another 20 minutes, I poked my head out of the bedroom. `Dyl?' All he said was `Bye.' The front door slammed, and his car sped down the driveway. His voice had sounded sharp. I figured he was mad because he'd had to get up early to give someone a lift to class. I had no idea that I had just heard his voice for the last time."

She said she had "no inkling" how sick her son was.

"From the writings Dylan left behind, criminal psychologists have concluded that he was depressed and suicidal. When I first saw copied pages of these writings, they broke my heart. I'd had no inkling of the battle Dylan was waging in his mind."

[photon816]

There is something that everyone here has overlooked. Attention Deficit Disorder became a problem in the schools, which was treated by giving children Ritilin. When they became older, their treatment was changed to Prozac, which was shown in a report or survey to induce suicidal / homicidal tendencies in many recipients, and the occurence of child-suicide increased. As I recall, I only saw it stated one time that Dylan Kiebold, among others, had been subjected to the Prozac program. You really can't expect a drug company and their payees to cancel a billion-dollar drug. I'd like to refresh my memory and read that Prozac report again, to verify it, if anyone knows where I can find it.

[Professorkaren]

If teachers reported safety problems and environmental hazards to school safety, then the teacher who submitted the report would meet with retaliation by the administrators, with harassment and false accusations and reports with their signatures forged by an AP as was done to get rid of me. Without tenure a well-meaning, caring teacher cannot survive for long in that sort of hostile environment that Bloomberg and Klein have been fostering for a while. Leadership is part of the problem. Bad people who are not caring, being in charge, winds up making the schools cesspools of festering disease and violence. That is the case with Bloomberg's misguided leadership along with his legal thug henchman Klein, and with that of the principal at Murray Bergtraum High School. Dishonest people in charge are dangerous. People who don't care about the students and the teachers, but only the bottom line are setting our schools up for more Columbine type events.

[Professorkaren]

Everything Teacherkh said it true! I know it first hand as a teacher in a violent, badly mismanaged Manhattan business high school. The lax security and the administrators lazy attitudes towards violent youthful offenders and allowing them to enter school without a search of their bags and backpacks and pockets set the school up for front page news, like the Columbine story.

[Crystal221]

Some people are so self rightious and judgemental. God forbid Susan Kelebold lets what her son did affect her perceptions and how she sees children, doesn't she know that she's not allowed to have any feelings at all unless it's entirely blaming herself for what happened.

It wouldn't matter at all if the Klebold's and also the Harris'spoke more openly in perspective, they would be judged and critized. Parents are not always to blame for their child's actions. How many of you read your kids diary and search their rooms when they have done nothing to suggest that they are in trouble? If Dylan and Eric's actions are their parents fault, then the same applies to the students who bullied them. After all they tormented two mentally unstable people and innocent people paid the price. Only two people are to blame for the murders and they are dead.

[presjfk]

"I have no doubt that God heart was breaking the day of the shooting (as were all of us) for you see we kicked him out of our school. You need to understand that God (is all powerful) can do anything and yes he could have stopped the shooting, why didn't he? Because The creator of the universe gave us free will. Free will to sin or to not sin, he gave this two young men the freedom to do awful things, things so awful its hard for me to imagine. My heart and My prayers go out to the families of these two kids, yes its always easy to say well I would have seen those those signs in hindsight, but when you are in the here and now and its your kid, they are easy to overlook, because you DO NOT want to admit that your kid has a problem."

Funny how people like you give God so much credit for the good in life, and none of the blame for the bad. God had a broken heart that day? God could have stopped the massacre? God gave them free will to massacre innocents? Your comments are nuts.

If there is a creator of the universe, this creator certainly doesn't work anything the way you or religion portray it.

[OregonJames]

I had no idea my son was thinking of suicide either until it was done.

My first instinct here is to tell you of the shock and pain we went through, but it can be quickly summarized as gut-wrenching torture. Your child has died in an ugly way, not by accident, not by disease, not by crime, but by his own hand.... So, you go through the torments of hell for a while. You look at the shattered remains of what you loved and nurtured from conception. You stand surrounded by blood, gore, and destruction and re-live the moment your hell began over and over in your mind. You see it in your dreams. It haunts your every moment. You deal with the police, the coroner, the funeral home, the priest, family, friends, and a million details. You send out thank you notes for flowers and write letters, and you spend hours on the telephone with distant family. For about three weeks your world is just a blur of frenzied activity, grief, and responsibility, and then you're supposed to be back to your old self, working every day, paying bills and going on with life like nothing ever happened. The rest of the world is the same as it was, but you are changed forever... It is a nightmare more horrible than you ever dreamed possible.

My heart just aches for this woman. I just thank God that my son didn't hurt others before he died.

Please don't ever show us a picture of this sick b*stard again.

[skepticalJM]

If we continue to create a society that is centered on greed and self-interest, instead of love and care for all others around us, we will continue to feel the pain and anguish this tragedy has given all of us. Let's hope we can make this our wake up call to the responsibilities all Americans have to all other Americans, not just themselves. We must become a caring society again, not a bunch of strangers at odds with each other because of economics.

[Howellstephen75]

This kid was raising himself. This woman is only fooling herself if she thinks she was not aware that this boy did not have problems. What she is not saying is she didn't think his problems were that bad. Like alot of parents she thought if she ignored them they would go away. I had a friend like this. I tried to talk to him about his kid and drugs and it wasn't to long before they were picking him up off the highway. Parents don't want to admit to what is going on with their kids because then they would have to do something about the problem. In addition, if something is wrong with their kid that means their is something wrong with them. And in this case this family is dysfunctional. They owe their community a public apology but instead they hide out and pretend they are not responsible.

[mecanik-2009]

The only people to blame were the ones that were pulling the triggers. And they're all dead. Who are we to blame for the car bombing in Iraq and Afghanistan. And what should we do. If we just ban the possesstion of bomb making materials the problem would go away I bet. Yah right. The point is we simply don't have the power to stop everything bad from happening. We can only respond to it. Tragic as this is we had no opportunity to stop it. Over reacting to something like this is the worst thing we can do. Freedon is worth more then that. Better security in the schools is a possible deterent but its not foolproof.

[bluharley]

And what could she possibly say that would satisfy everyone? I pity her, she has to live with what he did, that must be very hard.

[Newster1]

"by rhs648
tmsaurman - Many of our social and criminal problems would not exist if parents were held liable for the actions of their children."

I think they SHOULD, after all, if a DOG owner is held criminally and civily liable then the parents of a spoiled brat should too. You get a teen who lights someone's porch on fire and burns their house down, teen gets a slap on the wrist for punishment, parents pay nothing, a family lost their home and everything they own in the fire and THEY have to pay the costs, WRONG! they should be able to sue the parents and teen for damages.


"Dylan changed everything I believed about myself, about god, about family, and about love."

Yep, she discovered there's no god, no miracle Santa Claus in the sky, if there was, he/she/it KNEW well in advance this massacre was going to happen and stood by and watched it happen. Yep that's just the kind of sky Santa to love and pray to!!

[OneWhoLovesGod]

Newster1 said
Yep, she discovered there's no god, no miracle Santa Claus in the sky, if there was, he/she/it KNEW well in advance this massacre was going to happen and stood by and watched it happen. Yep that's just the kind of sky Santa to love and pray to!!

I just had to reply to your comments.

I have no doubt that God heart was breaking the day of the shooting (as were all of us) for you see we kicked him out of our school. You need to understand that God (is all powerful) can do anything and yes he could have stopped the shooting, why didn't he? Because The creator of the universe gave us free will. Free will to sin or to not sin, he gave this two young men the freedom to do awful things, things so awful its hard for me to imagine. My heart and My prayers go out to the families of these two kids, yes its always easy to say well I would have seen those those signs in hindsight, but when you are in the here and now and its your kid, they are easy to overlook, because you DO NOT want to admit that your kid has a problem.

[lance227]

"Balling for Columbine? Columbine Mom: "No Inkling" Son Suicidal
Dylan Klebold's Mother Makes First PUBIC Remarks in Essay in O, The Oprah Magazine

[Newster1]

"The man who killed his fiancee is now re-evaluating his support of easy gun ownership. "
Maybe instead of blaming the gun he should be blaming himself for his STUPIDITY and irrational thoughts

[nirak2-2009]

If Mom would have gone into her son's room, she would have an inkling.
Guns everywhere should have given a hint.

[InMyHumbleOpinion]

I have not read all the comments so please forgive me if this has been said before. Columbine was the first school shooting or the first this big. We had post office and other workplace shootings, but not a school shooting like this. Why would it ever occur to parent that their kid would actually carry this out?

[jdeven]

When one finally speaks out~ its not good enough, she is in denial, she was too busy, she wasn't paying attention to her son~ whatever. She is not allowed to have her own feelings and say what she wants without being criticized. I don't blame them for not speaking out before. She probably wishes she never even did this essay and this is probably only the beginning.

[John_Merritt]

"From the writings Dylan left behind, criminal psychologists have concluded that he was depressed and suicidal.

Psychology is what you want to make of it. This young man was hell-bent on taking out people who had done a number on him since he was young. He wasn't suicidal as much as he wanted revenge. I believe initially he wanted to be killed by the cops, but than he knew he probably would be taken captive and did not want to face prison and having to face people and families in his community, so he took his own life. What a truly sad story and it all could have been avoided, but that meant people (kids) would have to be nice to him and his friends throughout his life. Not a heavy mission for people to be nice to each other, but somehow we just can't figure it out.

[nextgenman09]

Columbine Mom: "No Inkling" Son Suicidal
------

I can understand that. She was too busy watching Oprah to pay attention to her son....

[Rodney_Hart]

Where is Dr. Phil when you need him?

[formrusmcsgt]

In her essay, Susan Klebold wrote that she didn't know her son was so disturbed.
---
She was real in touch with her child, eh?

Had to figure out who he was after the fact by reading his journal?

Sheesh.

[dblbar1]

I agree.....how do you NOT know your son is suicidal... so sad

[ArmstrongTwin]

I don't buy this woman's story. Her child didn't wake up one morning, bound out the door, and massacre classmates, all of it while mother and father are clueless. Clearly, there were terrible things going wrong with that boy. Sounds like touchy-feely, lawyer-inspired, public-relations-bs. What more can you expect, from pop-culture journalism?