Learning Lessons From Jaycee's Ordeal

(CBS)  Robin Sax, a former Los Angeles County deputy district attorney and the author of "Predators and Child Molesters" stopped by The Early Show Monday to talk about sexual predators and what lessons parents and children can learn from the Jaycee Lee Dugard kidnapping ordeal.

Sax says there are about 500,000 registered sex offenders out there. "That's only the people that are actually registered. Those aren't the people who are sex offenders who have yet to be convicted or awaiting trial or have never everyone been arrested. So the numbers are a little misleading," she explained.

Sax said about 100,000 sex offenders actually slip through the cracks, failing to register. "Those are ones who aren't keeping up with what they're supposed to do who aren't registering or maintaining their address."

"Parents are probably panicking right now hearing these numbers. What's the first step a parent should take to keep their kids safe?" co-anchor Julie Chen asked.

"As I mention in my book, I talk about how we should take advantage of teachable moments. We should look at an opportunity, a silver lining, if you will, in the case of Jaycee Dugard, and remember that we really need to have the safety conversations with our kids all the time. But in addition, the registered sex offender list is something that everybody can access. It's free, it's easy, you can Google 'sex offender' and it's right there and look by address. And everyone should look to see who is living in their neighborhood, who is living near their schools, who is living near their grandparents' homes or caretakers' homes and not just look at the list as, okay, these are people that exist, but actually go into the list, take a glance at the picture, be familiar with who you may be looking for, but also look at the crime for which they're convicted," Sax explained.

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Jaycee Dugard Trust Fund
Carl Probyn
c/o Viewtech Financial Services
PO Box 596
Atwood, CA 92811

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"Many times the registry will have on the list, what is actually the case in Phillip Garrido's situation, that it was listed that he had been convicted in a prior case for kidnap and for on rape. And if you have that rape there, this is something different than just unlawful sex or statutory rape situation. This is someone who is a violent predator that we should know about," she added.

What should you tell your child he or she should do if someone tries to kidnap them?

"Exactly what Jaycee did do, the screaming and kicking is definitely something you want to do," Sax said. "You want to do something to put off the attackers. Yell for help. But not just help with the word 'help,' but use the word 'fire.' And at all costs to try not to get into the car if at all possible. Everything's about buying time, not necessarily winning the fight. It's giving you a moment maybe gouging out with keys or using your fingers or taking an elbow to push someone away just to buy that couple extra seconds to run away."

[tinamariepal]

thank you for taking the time to read this and hope I have not offended anyone....God Bless

[tinamariepal]

strong enough at 18 to run away from him...a whole new set of circumstances developed...he came to my mothers house and got my baby...and kidnapped him....child was gone for 7 or 8 months....then he was arrested for something unrelated and had the child well rehearsed to tell them that his mother was dead...well they finally got my name out of my baby's mouth and realized what was going to unfold...In 1984 there was no knowledge or how to handle these types of situations...They place my child in a foster home ...I had 5 psychiatrists working with me...it was awful...I was like an animal that had been in cage that someone opened a door and turned me loose...Everything happening so fast...people not knowing what to do except the best they could...I was sentenced so I thought at the time to a life of secrecy ....shame....not ever having anyone that I could talk to about this that really understood....I just wanted to die but knew my religion taught that you could not go to heaven if you committed suicide....I prayed for death on so many occasions during captivity and after for many years...I did not know why I would do the things that I did nor did my family understand.....I felt like a monster ..like a Frankenstein that had to keep my secret...because I did not want to hurt anyone...my son...my mother...my family...poor things were uneducated and did not know what to do....often I was asked the same questions that are being asked of Ms. Jaycee. I tried to talk and tell people every now and then and it would hurt them so bad they would sob unmercifully. People treated me like a weirdo....if I told so eventually I learned how to fabricate stories about who I was and where I came from....I am now 43 years old tomorrow...I have kept secrets for 30 years....I prayed so many times to be able to help someone...I watch the news and when these things come up about missing children...it horrifies me...I just want to help them understand what happens and what to expect for the next coming years...In my case I lived...but only in body.......I chose this time because the burden was to heavy...not to speak out...I have watched the cases thru the years....and would just cry because somehow ....sometimes there were questions that people couldn?t understand the answers to....so it was easier to just think negatively...It is now 30 years later and a lot of scars ....but I wanted to somehow get this message to Ms. Jaycee Dugard.....and anyone else that couldn't ever tell or understand what happened to them...I pray that the media and people will be gentle with her...and those children....but God in heaven knows she and the girls will need some serious spiritual and psychological guidance as well as her family. My case is a little different...but I promise you.....the feelings are the same...I'm so happy to see the breakthroughs that are being made. I never had the chance to tell my story...I think a lot of it was because everybody kept quiet because of the roll they all played in it....I would be happy for at the right time...no matter how long...for Ms. Jaycee to hear my story....I too developed a bond with my captor...I shut down mentally and became someone else...to survive ...it wasn?t until I was 38 years old that I finally started breaking the ice...I am in school again...for certificate training of event planning and conference management...my husband has a 5 star restaurant that I help out there....I have a small flower shop...next door to the restaurant?he is very well known in our community and there will be a lot of people that will recognize who I am...but it will all be worth it...to maybe help someone after something this traumatic happens...I have life experience....I had to wade thru so many opinions and emotions...I was told that I would either end institutionalized for the rest of my life or commit suicide.....I really feel like I won....I really won this race...I am so blessed with so much wisdom and knowledge just about how life works and how it happens....how to forgive myself and others so that I was able to move on...negative emotion will never let you progress to the next step....I learned that I'm ok to feel the things that I felt...that I'm not a monster and there is true hope and peace that comes even after something this horrible happens. I would like to share my story with anyone that would like to hear it...it is truly an amazing one of fear, hate, disassociated , then on to strength, determination, courage, hope and peace. It has not been an easy road but I made it?I am going to leave an email address for anyone to contact me to learn more?God be with you Ms. Jaycee ,children, and families....My email address to use is [e-mail].!!

[tinamariepal]

TO HELP SOME OF YOU UNDERSTAND SOMETHINGS....I would like to introduce myself...My name is Tina Marie and I live in Shreveport La. I want to give you facts about myself because I want you to understand that I do not have a hoax story or am I a weirdo...Very far from it. I have a business and so does my husband ...I have 5 dogs, 1 child 27 years old, 2 grandchildren and a wonderful life. In 1979 I was introduced to a man that was supposed to be my father....I had lived with my mother and a step father for 10 years...Prior to this. I lived with my grandparents and my aunt...My mother was 17 years old when she gave birth to me... She was not married...thru my young life I had always knew that I was different or really made to feel different because my last name was different from the other children. As I said ...at 13...I was introduced to the man that was supposed to be my birth father...I was actually introduced to what I thought then to be the devil himself...From the 1st day...he let me know that he made me and that he could do whatever he wanted with me...and hurt me very bad and told me this was the way it was going to be...I was in immediate shock and did not know how to tell my mother...I had never had sex was never before in an environment where things like this happened..... For the next 3 months I would run from this man trying to get away while my mother thought that it was going to be a relationship there between him and her...She had left my step father because of the abuse she received and so now she was starting down a new road to a new life in the wrong direction.....I was excited kind of for having my own new dad....since everybody else had one but I knew there was something wrong...I was a very meek and humble child unlike my brothers and sister. He hit me tortured me when my mother wasn't looking and demanded that I give him what he wanted or he would leave and I would never know him....I just couldn't believe that this was happening...Finally 1 month later on November 3 1979...he raped me while my mother was in the next room ....I was a virgin...when he was finished...he went into the next room and told my mother of what he did...and told her that I wasn't enough that he wanted her and me.....My mothered was so mad as if I had done something wrong?.she wanted to kill me...they fought and he left with me to his mother's house?.my mother came the next day and that day my life changed forever....They called me into the room ..I felt something was not right but I dare not ever disobey because we would get a whipping for that?..I entered the room and my mother and him both had sex with me...this continued on a few times ..I can finally understand what happened in my mind....My mother could not live with what she had done...so she left me there with him...with his mother and he also had an 18 year old wife that was pregnant...He was 36 years old...So for a short while I went to school in the daytime and was a slave at night...He even made the 18 year old sleep with me....my mother had phoned sometime in December and said it was time for her to come and get me that we needed to put our family back together without him....she was in south Louisiana where we had been raised.....they fought on the phone and he said she could not have me...That night he took me to a secluded wooded area and beat me so bad...he would choke me until I was nearly to pass out and then he would let me breathe. He told me that I ever tried...ever ever tried to get away...he would kill me....that there was no place for me to run to......the next day he packed my things...and he kidnapped me...he made his wife go with us...she eventually got away in Corus Christi, Texas....I ask her to please let me go with her...she refused..... I was so scared....By this time I was already traumatized and spent the next 5 years in captivity....moving from one place to another....had a child...he let me go to the doctor once and I had the baby in Moore City Oklahoma, he removed me from the hospital quickly because they knew I wasn?t 18 years old...he kept us hidden in the woods near a lake and kept the babies milk cold in the cool water...there is just too much to tell...but I was captive for 5 years...brutally raped and beaten...brainwashed....when I finally was

[get_down]

Criminals are opportunists and innocent children are too vulnerable. My take is we as the children's guardians have to be vigilant all the time. By that I mean when we are with our kids always have to assume some perpetrators are near-by and watch us while waiting for a moment to snatch our precious little ones away from us. One can never be too careful nowadays.

[oiaf0831]

I think we as parents need to take a serious look at the way we allow our young daughters to dress. Tight fitting clothing excite the sexual predator. Have you noticed that there is more and more of this and the way young girls dress gets more and more sexually provokative? CBS will probably delete this post because they are of the mindset that people have no consequences for their actions but there always are.
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You are so right, sweetie. I really didn't approve when they let that pregnant girl keep her TV show. That was just sending the wrong message.

They are teaching our children to be tramps. They should make a law against it.

[jbright9]

The 500,000 number is grossly inflated and law enforcement will tell you that. The vast majority of that number are young men who at eighteen or nineteen had a fifteen or sixteen year old girlfriend. They are not a threat and should not be on the list. If the list only included those who are truly pedophiles, rapists etc, law enforcement could track them much easier. Out of fifty seven million children in this country, only approximately one hundred and fifteen are abducted by strangers each year. Our fear is denying children the right to play outside, ride bikes etc. We need to educate ourselves and our children but not become so overprotective that they miss out on experiences that help them grow into independent, functioning adults.

[saneObserver]

The sex offender list is seriously over used. People that are caught having sex in public get on that this. It should be used for people that are really dangerous.

[naj1953]

The laws need to be changed...We can stop these creeps if they know the punishment is different..Like death for hurting a child... There are so many in all areas of neighborhoods..Get a clue....I looked on line and was shocked....They go to prison, get out and do it all over...And people always think they get killed in prison....Lie...Some do , but not enough..Hell they are in there with some of the same kind of people.....Molesters....

[jxknowles]

Teaching children to fight and scream bloody murder is the best solution for forced abductions. Have them yell something that would let an adult recognize the situation as something other than a domestic dispute. Get involved if you see something askew. We'll never stop all of these creeps, but maybe you'll save one chid.

[oiaf0831]

The thing to learn is, people don't even know religion anymore. So when some nut like this guy says he's religious, people don't know any better and they believe him.

We have been a nation without law and order for too long.

This is the result.