A Life Lost Out of the Spotlight
While a Nation and World Paid Tribute to a Passing Singer, a Small Town Mourned a Young Soldier Killed in Afghanistan
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Members of the Patriot Guard salute the flag-draped casket of Brian N. Bradshaw, after it was loaded into a hearse at St. John's Bosco Church in Lakewood, Wash. on Monday, July 6, 2009. Bradshaw, from Steilacoom, Wash., was killed by an IED in Afghanistan on June 25. (AP/Dean J. Koepfler, News Tribune)
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Play CBS Video Video A Day To Remember For millions around the world, June 25th will be remembered as the day Michael Jackson died, but for Martha Gillis it will always be the day her nephew, 1st Lt. Brian Bradshaw, was killed by an IED in Afghanistan.
My 24-year-old nephew, Brian Bradshaw, died in Afghanistan on June 25, killed by an IED, but you'd never have known it from the national media.
I cannot tell you how that silence added to the pain of losing this bright, funny, thoughtful young man, whom I remember so vividly as a toddler, wandering the house in cowboy boots and hat (and nothing else).
I suspect it's a pain shared by many of the 4,000-plus grieving families whose loved ones have sacrificed their lives in two wars that have largely disappeared from the news.
When I flew West for Brian's funeral, the mayor of his small home town personally met each of dozens of flights of arriving family members. Flags flew at half-staff. Six hundred people attended the funeral service.
That is partly a testament to Brian's remarkable capacity to connect with people and leave a lasting impression - his lopsided grins were so infectious. It is also a testament to the level of caring and support the town offered to my bereaved sister and her husband.
Even the desk clerk who checked us into our hotel attended, as a simple gesture of common humanity.
Along the route from the church to the cemetery, people came out of their houses to stand with their hands over their hearts or to wave small American flags. Cars going in the opposite direction stopped. Some drivers got out to stand in respect.
To all of them, I say "Thank you. You know how to honor those who serve to protect you."
Once I left town, though, soldier's deaths once again became invisible.
Because of the incredible kindness of the people of Steilacoom, Wash., however, I wonder how many other people, in Maine or Texas or New York City, would also have honored Brian and the other soldiers who have died in the last two weeks if the media had simply let them know:
Somebody's little boy died today. Someone's little girl found out today that Daddy is never coming home.
That news is hard to bear; when the nation they died for barely notices, it's crushing.
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See all 245 CommentsBrian's aunt
How can we forget that the other deaths that occured that week had a decorated World War II hero that was mentioned in passing. (Ed McMahon).
This women's opinion was well stated and my hearfelt sympathies to her family.
jp
When I watched the show with that tribute all I could do is cry and scream at the tv that I agreed 150% with the Aunt. My son is currently in Afghanistan and everytime there are death's, I hold my breath and selfishly pray that ServiceMembers will not come to my door for notification.
Whether you agree or disagree with our being overseas, our sons, daughters, husbands, wives, nieces and nephews are there doing a job that needs our moral support; especially while we sit here in the luxury our comfortable homes, with the air conditioner cooling us, access to the tv, phones, Friday night dates, etc., etc, in otherwards all of the freedoms that they don't have at their fingertips. God Bless All of Our Servicemen and women and God Bless America.
Thank you so much for sharing Brian and his story with all of us. Your tender and beautiful tribute to this incredible young man made thousands stop and think about what is important in this world.
Martha, your incredibly moving story of Brian and your memories of him was a reminder to treasure all those important to us. Let's also remember that dispite the circus created 3 young children mourn the loss of their very special father, Michael Jackson.
I lost my own son almost 2 years ago in an accident. Seeing your face as you spoke brought back the profound loss and the emptiness that will never be filled. I have also founded scholarships in his name and a website, http://www.heroesripple.org, to help families share the stories of their loved ones and to help each other along the path of grief.
Thank you, once again, for sharing some of Brian with me. I wish that I had known him personally but know that I will carry his story in my heart forever,
In gentle care,
Kim
I recently read a book called AWOL, by Kathy Roth-Douquet and Frank Schaeffer. I would encourage everyone to read this book because I think it tells a lot about the attitude of many in our country about the military. And I believe this attitude says much about why the media makes so much out of the death of a rock singer (who I happened to enjoy by the way) and needs constant reminders that there are thousands of young men and women serving their country quietly every day.
There are many these days who just can't relate to those of us who have children, husbands/wives, brother/sisters, or whoever who serve in the military. When I say I have a son in the Navy they say something stupid like "at least he isn't in Iraq". I almost feel like I have to explain that, well yes he has been there, but I shouldn't have to. All my Navy mom friends are continually saying that others just don't "GET IT" when we talk about our kids serving. A simple thank you would be more welcome. God Bless all our military, home and abroad, for they are actually doing something to serve this country. I wonder how many of our media have served?!?
Elizabeth
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