When The Cheers Finish, What Next?

Tony Mandarich: Steve McNair Had Trouble Adjusting To The Real World, Post-Retirement. He Is Not The Only One

(CBS)  Tony Mandarich was the second player selected in the 1989 NFL draft by the Green Bay Packers. He now co-owns Mandarich LLC, a national Internet marketing services company.

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In 1992 when I retired - or should I say got my walking papers - from the Green Bay Packers, my transition into normal life was fraught with difficulties.

I drank and numbed myself with prescription painkillers so I wouldn't have to feel the pain of the fall from stardom. Four years earlier, I had been on the cover of Sports Illustrated, touted as the possibly the best offensive line prospect ever. What I had become was an alcoholic and a drug addict, without the tools to handle the ups and downs of `real life.'

I spent the ensuing 3 years as an unemployable, miserable wreck, full of self-pity and unable to do anything to help myself of the quagmire I had created.

In 1995 I got sober. Eleven months later, I signed with the Indianapolis Colts. A nagging shoulder injury precipitated my retirement in 1998; that time, I knew I was finished playing football for good. However, the transition into the real world was considerably smoother the second time; I had built a foundation of support around me with friends, Alcoholics Anonymous, and my spiritual life. It could have been different, though.

The three years I spent with the Colts were awesome - the thrill of playing with Peyton Manning, Marvin Harrison and other greats on Sunday afternoons is a natural ‘high'. The difficulties arise when you leave the stadium, filled with 80,000 screaming fans who adore and support you. You drive home and you walk into your house - and then what? That's where your athlete faces the real acid test.

For me, though, the second time around was different - I was comfortable in my own skin. I loved the support of the fans, but I had come to realize that I didn't need it for survival. I enjoyed the recognition of being a pro athlete, but it didn't define who I was as a person. I would think to myself, how grateful and lucky I was to have played the game. Having created such a disaster of my life after leaving the game the first time, I was grateful to have the knowledge and tools to do it right the second time, and I was even more grateful to have a second chance.
So when my professional football career ended in 1998, I closed that chapter and moved on to the next.

Many professional athletes have a hard time adjusting after retirement. We become spoiled by the attention and adoration from the fans, and don't know where to get our self-worth when we are no longer in the limelight. After having been seen as such a ‘superior' specimen, it is almost impossible for a former pro athlete to ask for help from anyone. We can't bring ourselves to admit that we aren't strong enough to be able to handle the extreme changes without help. After all, we have earned millions of dollars by being the strongest, the fastest, the best - who is out there that can help us? Or so the dysfunctional mindset goes.

Eddie George commented that Steve McNair had a tough time adjusting to the real world after retirement. Unfortunately, he doesn't have that problem anymore. It is heartening, and ironic, that a solid support system is already being built around the family McNair left behind. Perhaps the professional athletic community will take this tragedy to heart, and put more money and effort into the fledgling programs that have been created to help the transitioning athlete.

It is gratifying to be recognized for our athletic accomplishments, but it's the adversities that we face - and overcome - that define us as human beings.

Condolences to the McNair family; you are in my prayers.

[ronniepatches]

Tony,
First off, I would like to say I am a fan of yours, have been since my "playin days" at Meadowvale SS. Back then you were a hero to me, showing that Canadian kids could make it in the big bad world of US sports. After your downfall, and while playing DivII ball in OH, I remember feeling you had let me down. I was extremely happy to see you make the return to the NFL. I am proud to say I have met you while golfing at Century Pines a few years ago.
While mabye not to the same degree, I also remember how difficult returning to "normal" life was after playing in college. To go from being admired, and held up in a god-like manner, to being just another face on the street was a humbling experience. Again, I never got paid, nor came close to reaching the pro ranks. Thanks for taking the time to shed some light on this difficult transition, and continuing to get your story out there. My respects to the McNair family, and to you as well.

[americanblue]

FAIL! 9 paragraphs but only 1 about Mcnair!?!. This story did nothing to explain how McNair had trouble adjusting to the real world. It's just a sob story from a washed up failure. Nice try.

[excoachken]

kirksilvers: It is time to stop covering the butt of a 36 year old man, who happened to be a wonderful football player, but caused damage to many others because he couldn't keep him pants on. The only person hurting his family is not those who refuse to treat him as a victim but McNair, himself and those (like you) who try to perpetuate his hoax after death.

[kirksilvers]

Tony is not making excuses. He lived his own nightmare when he was "unemployable" in the NFL after leaving the Packers. Everyone who plays with fire will eventually get burned one way or another. Some people are fortunate enough to be able to find recovery and some have to fight with the struggle of just staying alive.I did not know Steve on a personal level, therefore I don't know the demons he was facing nor is it any of my business. This was a terrible thing to happen to his family. My family's thoughts and prayers are with his family at this time. So casualfan before you attack Tony or any other person on this earth don't you think you should know their story first?

[excoachken]

So, the "brown noses and leeches" made him cheat on his wife. I don't buy that and McNair's wife most likely doesn't as well. It seems that you are having difficulty separating appreciation for a person's athletic skill and unconditional acceptance of his hurtful behavior that has permanently scarred his family. Many athlete's are not required to grow up and create their own world, without the boundries of behavior that the rest of us "grow" into. Even his relationship with his killer was a "controlling" one. Men in their late 30's have nothin in common with a 20 year old girl, except congruent body parts. She was an emotionally damage, pretty object that he had used and wanted to throw away. He did not deserve to be killed, but he, so to speak, "made his own bed."

[nzsteve66]

I don't think Tony's glamourising what's happened here, nor trying to make any excuses. I think he's trying to explain how easy it is for this sort of thing to happen, delving into his own experiences as an illustration. I would venture to suggest, excoachken and casualfan, that you have never been surrounded by brown-noses and leeches who tell you how great you are 24 hours a day, or subjected to the constant media and peformance pressures modern athletes and sports people face. Having your ego's built up and up and up only to suddenly end up facing nothing is a recipe for mental disaster.

And of course, none of those brown-noses or leeches are anywhere to be found when "the game" is finally over, so it's little wonder people go off the rails. As Tony points out, the spoils of the limelight suddenly disappear and with no genuine support processes in place (despite so many "tragedies") this situation will occur again.

To me, that's the real point of this article.

[casualfan]

So Tony, because it was so tough to be a star(you were a star???), to be paid millions of dollars to play and game, travel the world and be adored.. because that's so tough, then it excuses any behavior later when you're told you can't play any more? It's okay to turn your back on your family, or as you humbly admit, become a substance abuser? Those of us who took our hard knocks at 10, or 12, or 20 have a hard time feeling sorry for you. We paid for our education, found jobs and have worked our tail off for a fraction of your compensation ever since. Obviously it's terrible what happened to Steve McNair, but he could have avoided the situation that cost him his life in the first place.

[excoachken]

We don't need somebody making excuses for McNair's bad choices. He screwwed up and lots of people will pay for it: The immature Bimbo who killed him, his wife who wasn't given a choice in the matter and his children who will forever know that their dad was a cheat. Please, do NOT glamorize stupidity and selfishness. He was just a great athlete who loved himself more than his wife, family or fans.