Breaking It Off With Your Doc

A Look At The Signs It May Be Time To Find A New Doctor

(CBS)  Being with the wrong doctor can have grave consequences - literally. As a practicing physician, I'm the first to admit that no doctor is perfect, especially me. I'm in a field that is eternally humbling, with my next mistake potentially hiding just around the corner. The stakes are enormous and the number of tasks I must juggle often daunting. From my point of view, I'm trying my best. But from the patient's point of view, that may not be enough. So how do you know when it's time to call it quits with your doctor? Here are ten reasons to make you think twice about continuing with the status quo:

1) You feel your doctor isn't listening to you.
Listening isn't waiting to speak. One of my favorite and most beloved teachers, Dr. Alfred Markowitz, once told me, "If you let patients talk long enough, they’ll actually tell you what’s the matter." Studies show that, on average, doctors let patients talk for 18-23 seconds before interrupting. Patients are allowed to finish their opening statement of concerns about 25 percent of the time.

You want a physician who not only is willing to hear what you're saying but who's intrigued by interpreting nuances of words and body language, who notices when you hesitate a millisecond before answering a question that's hit a hidden sore spot. Don't be shy about confronting a doctor who isn't listening. And leave if your concerns aren't addressed.

2) Your doctor can't communicate effectively with you.
Your doctor not only needs to be a great listener but has to be able to explain things to you in a way that you can understand. You’ll know it when you don’t hear it.

3) The doctor isn’t taking you seriously.
This is a deal breaker. It may happen if your doctor jumps to a conclusion about the cause of your symptoms before considering other possibilities. Even if you’re a hypochondriac, your hypochondria needs to be seriously addressed. And even hypochondriacs get real illnesses.

4) You have a problem with the office staff.
Office personnel represent the doctor. If they're unfriendly or unkind then you're starting off on the wrong foot. And it gets worse if they’re inefficient. Messages must be given to the doctor, insurance forms filed, tests properly scheduled and results reported. Last week, a survey of primary care practices found that patients were not told of abnormal results an average of 7 percent of the time.

5) You're kept waiting too long.
Doctors can be delayed by unpredictable medical emergencies. But if it happens consistently then the doctor is probably scheduling inefficiently. A clue you’ve been in the waiting room too long: if you pass completely through menopause while waiting to discuss your hot flashes.

6) It takes too long to get an appointment.
Routine annual visits can be scheduled months in advance but new problems and ongoing medical complaints need to be addressed in a timely fashion.

7) The doctor’s too busy.
This may develop over time, as the practice grows. If messages are going unreturned, insist on talking to the doctor. If the problem continues or the doctor always seems to be in a hurry then you may need to find somebody else.

8) Your doctor gets annoyed by questions.
This may be a reflection of other problems listed above such as the doctor being too busy or not taking you seriously. Whatever the cause, it's unacceptable. Not only are patients entitled to careful consideration of questions, those questions may provide doctors with important clues. "Why do I get a stomach ache every time I eat a slice of toast?" may lead to the diagnosis of celiac disease, a condition in which gluten - a component of wheat, rye, and barley - is toxic to the body. If a doctor doesn't immediately know the answer, a perfectly good response is, "I don't know but I'll research it and get back to you."

9) Your doctor is too arrogant.
God save us from the brilliant doctors. You probably need to be a B+ student to be smart enough to learn everything you need to be a great doctor. But you also need to be A+ in empathy, listening, carefulness, keeping an open mind, logic, and common sense. Doctors who think they are brilliant scare the heck out of me. I've seen them make huge mistakes as they take short cuts or rely on their instincts without seeking help from others or adequately listening to their patients.

10) It just doesn't feel right.
As with any relationship, sometimes you can't put it into words but you just know it's wrong. Don't fight your instincts.

For this week’s episode of CBS Doc Dot Com, I visit the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City and speak to Erica Friedman, the director of the Morchand Center, where budding doctors are schooled on bedside manner by treating actors pretending to be patients.

[lanidractenaj]

I've got you all beat. At a past yearly exam I bemoaned the fact that it is so hard to lose weight. My doctor, whom I really liked and respected, had his back to me as I was speaking. He turned around, holding a very poor copy of a photo of some holocaust victims. With that he said "you weigh --- lbs.! you simply eat too much!" I took the perscriptions he prepared for me and left in a state of shock, never to return. I know I can't name names but he's still around spreading his poison. I also agree with tyven9. Sparks literally fly when the perscription pad comes out. The system is not only broken, it's pulverized!

[tyven9]

My doctor is a nice enough guy, but I am an holistic person and really only use my doctor for lab work because that's the only way it's covered on insurance. I can correct the imbalances myself. But what I don't like is the pharmaceutical reps lined up in his office everytime I go there and my doctor is a bit too generous with the prescription pad. He always sends me out with like 5 or 6 prescriptions for things I KNOW I don't need. I usually tear them up and bin them on the way out the door. I don't take prescription drugs - not even antibiotics. Prescription drugs kill more people than they cure.

[dibbs977]

Very good. As an RN with over 40 years of experience, I see good and bad doctors every day. Good advice.

[eryan75]

In January, I fired my doctor. I'd moved from Boston to South Florida and found a doctor who I thought was a nice person on during my annual check-ups, but lacked a personal connection. I will say that this doctor had one of the nicest nurse practitioners I'd ever dealt with, and honestly I think that's why I stayed around as long as I did.

I've had a thyroid condition for about twenty years, and in the five years I'd been a patient, this doctor never sent me to see any type of specialist, nor did it ever appear to be a concern. Not even when I brought up the fact that I felt as if the goiter in my throat was getting noticably larger.

I switched doctors this spring to the same doctor who my parents go to (a family doctor/general practitioner). He had my thyroid levels check twice, including a scan which I hadn't had for about 10 years. He (not an assistant) called me to discuss the results, then referred me to an endochrine specialist. When he found out that my appointment wouldn't be for over two months, he personally called and made an appointment for me, which moved my appointment up to a matter of weeks, not months.

When I saw the specialist, he gave me the option of a biopsy or surgery, explaining that surgery would be eventual, it was just a matter of when I wanted to do it (I'd had it scheduled twice before, so it wasn't a surprise). When I said I may as well just do it, he immediately brought me to see the surgeon - on a Friday, after 5:00pm.

My new doctor was kept aware of everything, and even called to check in, asking if I'd like another opinion, which he could set up for me (I chose not to, as I've known this was coming), and said he was keeping tabs on me.

This is how I felt that I should have been treated all along. Unfortunately, I waited five years to switch, but at least I've learned my lesson.

[oh-please]

I would like to find a better doctor here in South Florida. Do you mind naming yours?