Mom Of 555-Pound Teen Speaks Out

Jerri Gray Has Been Charged With Neglecting Her Teenage Son Alex

(CBS)  A mother is being charged with neglecting her obese teenage son, raising issues about whether the government has the right to intervene in one's family life.

Born and raised in South Carolina, Alexander Draper grew up to reach a dangerous 555 pounds by the age of 14. That's when law enforcement stepped in.

"The first and foremost concern is Alexander's health," Lt. Shea Smith told CBS News.

Alexander's mother, Jerri Gray, was charged with unlawful neglect of a child for allowing him to become obese.

"There have been opportunities to get Alexander some treatment over the course of the last several months and unfortunately some of those things have not been taken advantage of," Smith said.

But Gray, released from jail Monday on $50,000 bond, says she does not have enough money to get her son the treatment he needs.

Alexander is in the custody of the Department of Social Services, who in a statement to CBS News said they only intervene when "health care professionals believe a child is at risk of harm."

"Obviously her son is certainly in need of some medical attention," Lt. Smith said.

Jerri Gray and her defense attorney, Kim and Grant Varner, appeared on The Early Show Thursday to discuss the situation.

Asked how his weight gain got so out of control, Gray said, "Well, a lot of times it had to do with lifestyle. A lot of times I had to work fulltime second shift or fulltime, third shift. And I wasn't home a lot."

Gray told guest host and "Britain's Got Talent" judge Amanda Holden she had been monitoring her son's diet, but that there were times she had to purchase fast food, when she'd have to sleep between shifts.

Asked if there are steps she could've taken earlier to have helped him not reach that level of weight, Gray said, "When I had a second shift hob, I would've rather been home, so that I could've spent more time focusing on preparing more low-fat type-meals."

While Alex is under state care right now, Gray believes her son needs to be with her. "Mentally he needs to be with me. We both need to be included together in whatever program that they have to offer so that we both can benefit from it. So as our lives go on together, then we will have learned how to control it and keep it under control."

[DanWalker1970]

Its too late and everyone knows it. By age 14 and 555 pounds - forget it. The 80 billion fat cells this kids has arent going away.

This kid will cost an easy million dollars to house - fed - and treat. His mom will probably get another 200,000 in free legal help.

Do we have to pay a million dollars for every fat kid a mother allows to get this way?

IF we have to pay the million, then we should have a right to demand intervention earlier and some reasonable rules. You can't have it both ways.

[jberd99usa]

I agree with whomever above has said this...Mom is FAT. Kid is FAT. Mom is FAT responsible. Kid is FAT responsible. You are both slobs and eat and eat and eat. No wait. His metabolism is slower. Bull. It's too late for you pathetic leeches. and yes, I AM A REPUBLICAN and healthy. I also smoke cigarettes when I want, drive a SUV, and work every day for everything I have. Be jealous. I hope you are. Try this one time in whatever city you live. Sit in a grocery store parking lot and count 100 people entering and exiting the store. One mark for correct weight and two marks for overweight and three for obese. Add it up and you'll see that your "liberal thinking" or "it's the government's fault" attitudes are not there stopping them from going in to buy more 'chata chips and diet Pepsi. My girlfriend works in the grocery store business and she can pick off who is using food stamps before they even check out. They are FAT, buying shwimps, lobsta tails, raggles and rolls and greasymysins. Hoo!!Lawd!! We've tried to edumacate but you still won't listen. Racist? No, just a realist. Stay envious.

[8brandy]

This is a parent in need of desperate help for herself as well as that for her son. This problem did not just begin a few months ago but instead has been ongoing since he was too young to enter school. A bucket of KFC and biscuits almost nightly was normal even years ago. When warned of what it would do to both of them she laughed. So she is definitely to blame. Her family is very loving and caring and has tried to assist but Jerri refutes any assistance as she believes no one should tell her what to do or when. It's a shame that she's allowed her son's health (as well as her own) to be jeopardized in this fashion and is now attempting to plead "she tried". She made the choice years ago and dared anyone to say anything or do anything. Now, unfortunately on her part but hopefully fortunately on Alex's part, the law has stepped in. MAYBE they will help to save this child's life. His health is of the utmost importance at this point and he needs a drastic and immediate intervention IF his life is to be saved. Pray for both of them to comprehend the magnitude of this problem, for healthy interventions (psychological as well as medical), and for God to spare this child's life and heal him as well as his mother.

[jimhenry1707]

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[muddie32]

Here are examples of what I am speaking of:

http://www.faqs.org/nutrition/A-Ap/African-Americans-Diet-of.html

http://news.ncmonline.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=841f652449a8afaceac88487da0abe8a

What has happend to African Americans, is that we have migrated into the convience culture diets. I remember when I was a child and my mother could not afford to get Mcdonalds for me when I wanted a hamburger. So what did I get? a momma burger, which was a hunch of ground beef with peppers and onions, cheese, two slices of loaf bread and cut up potatoes. Which was still healthier than anything I could get at Mcdonalds. I remember that I had many meals with lima beans, rice, potatoes, string beans, peas, carrots, and so on. Back then we didn't go to Mcdonalds every night, we went to the kitchen table and got our meals. McDonalds, Burger King, KFC was a weekend or every once in a while treat for us. Now everyone goes to these places everyday because no one believes that they have the time to cook meals.

[muddie32]

CNETreadr

What you are missing is that she said that she couldn't make those meals because she had to work the later shifts, so she decided to buy fast food. What that is implying is that she went out and got something unhealthy. I agree, her being away from him because of her work schedule is effecting his diet, but the obivious is clear, she does not have any idea of how to manage her health and therefore does not know how to manage his. She is overweight just like her son is, so what is needed is not a weight loss program but rather some form of counselling to find out what the underlying issues that she and her son has.

Also to Toldyouso,

What you said about black diets is partially true, in the sense of minority groups recent dietary trends, however, historically, traditional african societies did not eat unhealthy. They had a diet of primarily beans, rice, vegetables, chicken and fish. What you see now with black people is a result of picking dietary habits from southern whites and dependence on low grade table scraps (chiterlings, chicken backs, haug mauls). You are placing way too much blame on the trend toward bigger backsides, saying that because Latino and Black people tend to like their women bigger is the reason why folks are getting overweight. I have eaten around poor and aflenent white people and their diets are no better than black and latino diets, it is not that folks want to have a big booty, As I have many white women complain to me that their butts are way too big and they want to get rid of them as it is a general shift of our society to a sessile convience driven world. No one has time to prepare foods from scrach (at least that is what people believe) and no one has time to exercise or their jobs require them to site behind a computer (like mine).

Your example of how much more expensive a healthy meal is a little misleading. If it cost you approximately 7.50 to purchase a Big Mac extra value meal, and about 30.00 to purchase ground beef, cheese, lettace, tomatoes and potatoes, it would always be cheaper to make the meal from scratch. This is because the number of meals yielded from purchasing the items from scrach would be greater than the number of Big Mac meals (about 3.5) for the same price and it is almost always healthier to make a fast food type meal from scratch than to purchase from a fast food estiblishment, because you can control the items you want to put into the meal and you would almost always come out with less fat, sodium and sugar.
It is not the expense of purchasing the items, it is how much does value their time and that is up to individual. You can eat a healthier diet on a budget as long as you are willing to spend time cooking.

[8brandy]

CNETreadr, great points throughout! BRAVO! And yes, it is much more economical to buy the groceries and prepare your own food. Yes, the cost of the items adds up but as you stated you can prepare more meals with the items. A fast food meal is ONE meal and eaten at ONE time. What will you do the rest of the day to handle that craving? hmmm. There is time to prepare, IF YOU MAKE THE TIME, and desire to do so. If she did any cooking herself; then she could have taught her son to do so and he could have fixed meals when she was working. By age 14, plenty of children are preparing food --- it didn't have to be elaborate but could've been nutritious -- at the very least, better than fast foods.

[CNETreadr]

Apparently she made several attempts to get him into programs for obese children but according to media reports, the programs didn't have the facilities or resources to handle a boy with wheelchair needs and turned her away.

She can't watch his eating habits all the time because she's working several jobs and he probably eats some of his "fast food" meals at school. School programs are based on profit and many of them are not healthy food programs.

Where's the dad? If she didn't have to work three jobs to pay the bills, she could spend more time cooking low-cal meals for her son.

[Jemjord18]

I believe the government shouldn?t be able to dictate peoples lives. But in a sense it seems as though the mother does needs some help with her son. I know how hard it is to make sure your children eat healthy on a budget. I t gets very costly, considering how the economy is today. I think the government is wrong for giving her a felony charge for something like this, she is a hard working mother, and by the looks of things obviously she doesn?t know the proper things to be feeding herself or her son. I believe people have a lot of time to judge other people, and comment on what others do with there lives, but how are you living.

[Madisonsmommy17]

I am all for protecting children from abuse and neglect but this is absurd. The government and it's agencies have over stepped their boundaries here. The system is so flawed and everyone is trying to be a do-gooder these days that they are doing more harm than good and forgetting the principals that this country was founded on. Yes, it is sad that this teen is 555 lbs. but no one is helping him by taking him away and charging his mother with felony neglect. I hope this mother wins and slaps a huge lawsuit on the agency. This kid is 14,it is tough enough being a teenager these days with out the added bonus of dealing with this. His mother admits that she wishes she could have been home to cook instead of working, but how many Americans are in the same situation? She says she does not have the money to get him the help he needs, so taking him away is the answer? I work as a teacher and see plenty of families who don't always do the right thing for their children but I have not once seen a child taken away. And trust me these parents do things that are far worse than having an over weight child. What I am wondering is the children that have eating disorders like bulemia and anorexia should they be taken from their homes? Or what about the children in gangs, are we going to arrest each and everyone of their parents? I want to know when is this going to end? When are the people going to stand up to these agencies and the government and say "Hey why don't you do your job and go after the people who are beating their children, or just not taking care of them." I could go on for hours about this but I'm sure other people don't want to read a novel about me ranting and raving! So I am going to end with this, DSS needs to give this mother and son referrals to help teach the family proper eating and get him the medical attention he needs not take him away and charge the mother with neglect. They aren't helping this child by doing what they have done!

[dixxson]

Is Dick Gregory Busy, Retired?
This is not the Business of The Government!
We use to have something called the Constitution.
Even for the Slave States!
Actually, this kind of Gov reaction should not be considered funny, or taken Frivoluosly.
It is Because of these flawed governmental interactions, that this Nation, Constantly prosecutes the innocent, While the "Guilty Goes Free!
They're the cause of so many "Enrons, Worldcoms, Tycos, that go for so long undetected.
They are the reason we're now sentencing a 71 yr old man "Maddoff,to 150 yrs in prison. Excluding, Excusing his Wife and Family!
But if you are Role Playing, on the internet, like everyone else, including MSNBC's CHRIS HANSEN & Perverted Justice,
You can be prosecuted for "INTERNET BULLYING".
People, whom are constantly preoccupied doing the "Wrong Things" find it "Difficult to Impossible, to "DO THE RIGHT THING".

[winstrv]

Yeah, it sure looks like she ate a lot of low calorie meals. If you can't afford or have the time to take care of your kids, why do you have them? Another "blame everyone else but the one responsible". They want to blame the food companies, the fast food joints, smoking, etc. How about some personal responsibility? No, we don't do that anymore. We have to blame it on someone or something else.

[zeezedzee]

Okay so the numbers may not be perfect, maybe the balance does tilt towards the weight issues, yet is the scenario not true? How many parents are arrested for child abuse for letting their teenaged children smoke. If they are it certainly doesn't make the news like this super obese child has.

Seriously, think about it, cigarettes are one of few products which can be sold legally which can harm and even kill you over time if used as intended. Cigarette smoke produces at least 43 known carcinogens, cancer causing gasses, that not only effect the smoker but also effects anyone else who breathes their invisible second hand smoke.

Personally I feel sorry for this young man being so heavy, I agree that he needs help. I'm not sure he should be taken from his mother until such time it's been proven that his issues are not metabolic and absolutely positive that it's a result of her neglegence. Also, personally I'd rather live around this young man than a smoker who I can't stop their second hand smoke from permeating through the walls of my apartment where I'm forced to breathe it, something I definitely do not want to do.

I think it wrong to key on this one thing though, there are many things parents allow their children to do that are illegal. True children can't buy cigarettes until they're a certain age, but they find their ways to get them via older friends buying them for them, or even from neglegent adults who throw out cigarette butts at stoplights instead of disposing of them properly. It takes more than blaming it on this one mother to fix the issues, she shouldn't have to shoulder all the blame.

[erin061486]

this is the most disgusting situation. I live in a town where morbid obesity runs about 99 per cent. People who are fat don't even know they are fat. There are girls in my 10 year old's girl scout troop who outweigh me by 30 lbs. Kids here go right into middle age. Not a very nice thing to do to your kid.

we would save a lot of money on groceries, doctors' bills if we ate way less. So I say no food stamps, no government subsidy of any kind to the morbidly obese. None whatsoever.

[CLoverNYC1]

Erin061486,

The mother in this story works, she's not on foodstamps. She's just an overweight control freak whose loneliness is going to kill her kid, if she doesn't get a handle on it.

I seriously doubt the legality of withholding food subsidies because an individual is morbidly obese.

That's like trying to deprive these double-zero couture skeletons of their diet of gourmet coffee, exlax and toilet paper.

[erin061486]

this is the most disgusting situation. I live in a town where morbid obesity runs about 99 per cent. People who are fat don't even know they are fat. There are girls in my 10 year old's girl scout troop who outweigh me by 30 lbs. Kids here go right into middle age. Not a very nice thing to do to your kid.

we would save a lot of money on groceries, doctors' bills if we ate way less. So I say no food stamps, no government subsidy of any kind to the morbidly obese. None whatsoever.

[CLoverNYC1]

by muddie32 June 26, 2009 9:36 AM PDT
They need counseling.
-----------------

Muddie32,

You seem to have a great deal of compassion which is something I need to cultivate.

We agree that counseling is needed, and I hope this kid gets a fair shake at life. I hate seeing a young guy like that who can't go out for sports, have girlfriends or see his feet, for crying out loud.

Seems to be right now his mother is acting like a drowning victim with a death grip, and she's taking the kid with her.

[erin061486]

THEY NEED REHAB

[marianapayra]

I feel really sad for this boy and his mom. Of course his mom should have tried to look after him better, but as we could all see she also suffers from weight issues herself, probably due to poor eating habits. When you are immersed in a situation the obvious becomes blurry and her son's overweight might have not look as bad as it is since the majority of people in the US, low-income, hardworking people have terrible eating habits and are dangerously overweight. I think the government should have acted earlier by offering options to people like Mrs Gray, programs at school, community centers, not imprisoning this poor woman who's trying to get by working 3 shifts a day. It's sad, so very sad...

[erin061486]

Weight issues? She's full blown fat. She has a substance abuse issue. He's not overweight, he's deadly fat. And if he ate way less he wouldn't be poor, not low-income. There is a difference. Drug users are poor - not low income because they spend all their money on drugs as this family, and many obese families, spend too much on food. This is the only nation where welfare recipients are FAT. If we can't be frank about the problem we will never ever solve it. It's a substance abuse problem like drugs, alcohol, etc. It kills more than drugs and alcohol.

[muddie32]

CLoverNYC1

What I was trying to get at is that we really don't know what is behind her over feeding her child and herself. You could be right that she is controlling or she could also be suffering through depression, guilt, etc. We really don't know. This is why someone needs to figure out what is really behind her allowing the boy to become so overweight. They need counseling.

[CLoverNYC1]

by toldyouso29 June 26, 2009 5:20 AM PDT
-------------------

Toldyouso,

The statistics speak for themselves regarding blacks not having fathers. I believe the number is over 70% of black households. It's not bigotry, it's the truth. Deal with it.

It's my opinion that there is a connection between this particular kid who weighs 555 lbs and his controlling black mother.

Don't lose any more sleep. If you don't like my opinion don't read it.

[CLoverNYC1]

by zeezedzee June 25, 2009 1:26 PM PDT
CLoverNYC1 said, "Honestly I think that this is why food stamp programs should not allow the purchase of unhealthy foods with aid money."
--------------------

Zeezedzee,

No, I didn't write that. I was replying to the individual who did.

Next time try actually reading my post.

[aChangeOfIdeas]

by toldyouso29 June 26, 2009 6:09 AM PDT
If they felt a need to step in for this case but have not done the same to others in similar condition, then their actions are unconstitutional---being that all men (and women) are equal under the law. Parity, is an issue here.

I'm not sure how many other 555 pound 14 year olds are in the state. Plus, the article seems to imply that some treatments were refused... I'm sure we don't know the whole story. What we do know is that the kid has a serious health issue that was not being addressed by the mother.