NEW YORK, June 22, 2009

How To Play The "Rating Game" When Dating

Reba Toney, Author Of "The Rating Game" Shares A "Fool Proof" Formula For Finding Your Perfect Soul Mate

  • Reba Toney, author of

    Reba Toney, author of "The Rating Game"  (CBS/The Early Show)

  • Play CBS Video Video Rating Your Mate

    Author Reba Toney spoke with Harry Smith and Lara Spencer about how to avoid incompatible mates and date the right person for you.

(CBS)  If you're single, dating, and constantly getting dumped, Reba Toney, author of "The Rating Game," knows why and can help.

Toney shared her "fool proof" formula for finding your perfect soul mate with Early Show co-anchor Harry Smith and substitute co-anchor and "Insider" host Lara Spencer.

According to Toney, the rating system works in four areas: face, body, personality, and life situation. Each category is rated from one to 10.

"You rate yourself and then you rate the people you're interested in dating. That way you only date people that rate the same as you," Toney explained. "This kind of picks up where 'He's Just No That Into You,' left off."

Do people perceive themselves correctly?

"They do. It's based on what you value," she said. "Even twins or best friends will have different internal values."

However, Toney points out that men tend to see themselves better than they really are and women see themselves worse than they really are.

"That's one of the main reasons I wanted to do this book is because women typically judge themselves by their worst qualities," she explained. "We will stand in front of the mirror and search for something we hate before we leave the house."

"Whereas men do the exact opposite. They're like 'My calves are smoking. I'm great.' And they run out and look for Heidi Klum. This helps you see yourself as a whole and see the other person as a whole."

In "The Rating Game," there is a celebrity section, where Toney took celebrity couples and showed their ratings and why it didn't work out.

"Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, you were like, 'duh, it didn't work out because she was dating down.' It's shocking to me she's dating down because it's not just about looks," Spencer said.

Toney says that Aniston "dates down" a lot."

"It's hard in the celebrity world. It's lonely at the top. You're talking about people who most of us would see at perfect tens," Toney explained. "Once you get into their world, they really start to see it differently."

When it comes to Jon and Kate Gosselin of TLC's "Jon & Kate Plus 8," Toney says she understands why their relationship may be in trouble.

"I've seen it so many times," she said. "When you date down, which is what Kate did when she married Jon."

Although Toney agrees that Jon is a nice, cute guy, she says that Kate just has "a little bit more."

"She's a little more mean and angry," Spencer added.

"She is. It's weird how someone can rate higher and still be mean. But her face, her body, her personality, her life situation, all just one rung up," Toney said.

"If they had only talked to you first, they wouldn't be in this mess!" Spencer joked.

To read an exerpt from "The Rating Game," click here.



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