June 18, 2010 9:30 AM

Father's Day Is For Stepfathers, Too

By
CBSNews
(CBS)  Should Father's Day be devoted solely to our fathers? Not in the Opinion of our Anthony Mason:

"Today, Father, is Father's Day,
And we're giving you a tie."


That old Groucho Marx song used to make my dad double over in laughter. Every Father's Day, I'd call him up and sing him the chorus:

"According to our mother, you're our father,
And that's good enough for us."


Last year, I sang it one last time. A few days later Dad died of cancer. He was 92.

I owe my career to my Dad. In 1980 after I came home from college, he confronted me one day:

"So," he said, "what are you gonna do with the rest of your life?"

"I'm gonna write a novel," I said.

He paused, then said: "Not in this house, you're not."

A few months later, through his efforts, I reported for work at a TV station in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

My Dad, Jonathan Mason, was a lifelong Wall Streeter. In the '60s he helped start the Japan Fund. He loved everything Japanese, especially my stepmother, Natsuki.

People often say, "You only have one father." But I've learned it's more complicated - if you have a stepfather. And I'm thinking about him, too, this Father's Day.

I was just 7 years old, when my Mom took me to an artist's studio in New York to meet a painter named Henry Koehler. It was June 12, 1963. I remember the date only because he wrote it down on the back of a picture he asked me to draw that day . . . a picture of an artichoke.

It seemed a pretty odd request at the time. But when my Mom became Mrs. Henry Koehler, I found out he was in his "artichoke period." And when we moved in with him, I saw he'd framed my childish artichoke and hung it amongst his own.

We didn't know what to call him at first. Not "Dad." And first names seemed too informal then. We settled on "Uncle Henry."

Uncle Henry didn't try to assume a fatherly role. He just led by example. And I saw how much he loved my Mom and how hard he worked.

That first year, as the New York Mets opened Shea Stadium, they commissioned my stepfather to paint some pictures of the team. Casey Stengel, the Mets' manager, even came to our house to see them.

Okay, this new guy was pretty cool!

He's painted lots of notable commissions . . . a cover of Sports Illustrated . . . a U.S. postage stamp . . . portraits of Jack & Jackie Kennedy sailing . . . Prince Charles on his polo pony . . . Bill Paley, who founded CBS.

But my favorites are the family pictures. My kids. My wife. And one of my Mom, who'd always dreamed of a gondola ride. He called it "Venice, finally."

Mom died last summer, too, just three weeks after Dad. It was a rough season for our family.

Afterwards, Uncle Henry and I spent hours in the attic searching for old photographs for her memorial service. Quietly, he put aside pictures of himself, too. "So you don't have to do this again when I go," he said.

But at 82, he's still working. Henry Koehler has filled my world with images and colors that have influenced the way I see everything - kind of important for a kid in television.

(CBS)
So this Father's Day, I'll be thinking about my Dad (left) and humming Groucho's song in my head.

But I'll also call Uncle Henry and tell him how proud I am to be his stepson.

Copyright 2010 CBS. All rights reserved.
Add a Comment
by Snowback75 June 25, 2009 11:16 AM EDT
I too have a great step dad who was a DAD to me as well. I'm not so big on "step" either and prefer to call my family "blended." My mum actually blogs about our experiences as a family as well as her thoughts on remarriage and blended families. http://blendednotshakenfamily.blogspot.com/
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by cbkentnor June 22, 2009 10:09 AM EDT
The video segment was so very good, I wish you could post that as well. Anthony Mason and his brother were so fortunate to connect with a man who was so deeply in love with their mother and her children. Made a great future for one and all.
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by gravyboat3000 June 21, 2009 10:10 PM EDT
What a great story. I'm a child of a step dad that inspired me, and was a REAL dad to me, for me.

The word,"step", should be stricken from our language, as a dad, is a dad, is a dad~a leader, a person who guides young people, family...

Uncles as well, men who inspire us.

Happy Father/Step Dad/Uncle...Day, to all...

And Women as well, some of us had,"step moms", or Cousins, Aunts or new Moms that filled these rolls as well...

Mahi Mahi?
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by barbaram99 June 21, 2009 6:05 PM EDT
I read the atory that Mr Mason wrote. I was a small child when our family broke up. Mum remarried. I was 4. I addressed my Stepfater as Daddy Ken when I was small. That may sound different to most. That just the way I addressed him. I just call him Ken now. I never really asked him what he wanted me to call him. In April, I lost my Dad. For me Father's Day is a sad day for me. I told my friend this is the saddest Father's day for me as it marks the first time I don't have my dad to talk to. I miss him. My stepfather is living. I can't call him Dad for personal reasons. I am not being disrespectful as Ken never was a father to me. Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there and hope it is a happy day for each.
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by thomderr1 June 21, 2009 4:18 PM EDT
As a step-father of seven children, eighteen grand-children and a great grand-child on the way, nothing fills your heart as much as the calls you receive saying, "Happy Fathers Day."

Great story.
Reply to this comment
by John_Merritt June 21, 2009 5:30 PM EDT
Thom Derr:

Happy Fathers Day brother.
by John_Merritt June 21, 2009 1:23 PM EDT
No truer words were ever spoken. I cannot count the times where these knights in shining armor came to the rescue of another man's children. Much like my ex-wife adopted my own sons from a previous marriage; there is no more greater love than to give of yourself for another. In this life we are presented with too many villans and not heroes. Step fathers and mothers are truly God sends for many children and we should always do what we can to hold the family unit together. That is what makes America great, and my hopes and prayers will always be for the strengthening of family values in this country. Because there are way too many facets of dislocation that is trying to tear apart the fabric of this nation. God Bless all Fathers and Step Fathers today.
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