Why Elizabeth Edwards Stands By John

She Reveals All In New Memoir

(CBS/AP)  Political wives stand by their men more often than not.

Now Elizabeth Edwards, in her new memoir, "Resilience," reveals why she stood by her husband, former 2008 presidential hopeful, John Edwards, after she learned he cheated on her with a former campaign worker, Rielle Hunter.

Edwards, who has terminal breast cancer, appears on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" on Thursday to talk about her new book and how she learned Edwards was cheating.

In the taped interview, Edwards says John Edwards met then-42-year-old Hunter at a hotel. Her pickup line, according to Edwards, was "You are so hot."

Elizabeth says she cried, screamed and vomited when she learned of his infidelity. But even after John initially revealed the truth to Elizabeth -- just days after declaring his presidential run in 2006 -- she stayed with him.

"He should not have run," Edwards wrote in her book, adding that she wanted her husband to drop out to save her family from media scrutiny. The Edwards have three children: Cate, Jack and Emma Claire.

On The Early Show Wednesday, Dr. Robi Ludwig, psychologist and contributing editor of Cookie magazine, told co-anchor Maggie Rodriguez why many political wives stand by their cheating spouses.

"You know, (the wives) may understand that with these kinds of people -- these men are in the spotlight, they're very powerful, there are women throwing themselves at these kinds of men," she said. "I think, in some way, (these women) make a deal, whether it's conscious or unconscious, they understand that, if you enter into a political relationship, you might be dealing with a guy who might cheat, and to really keep the whole picture in mind. Do you want to maintain your life? Do you want to fight for a person you love? Maybe at the end of the day that's what's important."

Beth Frerking, senior editor of Politico.com, has a similar take on political wives.

"I think, when people ... go into politics or have ambitions to go into politics, they know that this is part of the package," she told CBS News correspondent Bianca Solorazno. "And I think really, it's the exception when that spouse leaves."

In the case of Elizabeth Edwards, Ludwig said there could be many reasons she stayed with John.

"...We have to give her credit, maybe she did make the right decision," Ludwig said. "You have to think about keeping the family intact, she has health issues, it's a business, too, they're a political couple. ... She probably loves him; when you love somebody, you understand the reasons they digress, and maybe it's not right, but...we don't know what their relationship looks like, really behind closed doors."

Rodriguez also asked about the possibility of a strong marriage after infidelity.

Ludwig assured that it's possible.

"An affair is like a conversation that you haven't had," Ludwig said. "You have to understand the symptoms, what contributed to the affair, and if you can understand that, get through that, then you can come out stronger at the end of the day."

And Elizabeth Edwards is still standing by her man now, Solorzano points out, even as the former candidate is reportedly under federal investigation for misuse of campaign funds -- more than $100,000 paid to his Hunter's production company.

John Edwards has denied any wrongdoing.

This is Elizabeth Edwards' second book. Her first memoir, "Saving Graces," focused on the death of her 16-year-old son, Wade, in a tragic car crash and her ongoing battle with cancer.

[sero5]

Elizabeth Edwards makes a tribute to Tammy Wynette. She will 'Stand by her Man' in the 2016 presidential election.

[willymack]

If you will lie to your wife, you will lie to your country. Simple as that. The man was a bald face liar and would be so as president. Who cares why she elected to stay loyal. She married a looser to beging with.

[birdwoman98]

It's just the dems who have zipper trouble? I've got a name for you: Newt Gingrich.

um.. "it's justathought,' may I remind you, that SOUTHERN RACISM was perpetuated by DEMOCRATS, who fought TOOTH AND NAIL to prevent Title VII (Civil Rights act of 1964) from passing-without REPUBLICAN SUPPORT it never would have been ratified. Furthermore, it was a REPUBLICAN administration that guided this nation through the CIVIL WAR that was fought to END SLAVERY. Do you think there were many REPUBLICAN plantation owners? You must be under 40.
Posted by SoCalBruce at 10:07 PM : May 6, 2009

Yes, Republicans used to be more progressive than Democrats. But that hasn't been the case for a long, long time. The racist Southern Democrats of the 1960s became Republicans.

[in_support_of_courage]

I am not married to a polititian, but I have to say that accusing women who are is simply innappropriate. They are not hookers. Who are we to judge why they stay by their husbands? I have been the victim of infidelity in marriage, and I decided to stay with my husband. That does not make me a hooker. Believe me, it certainly was not for money or power! Not everyone who experiences this sort of heartbreak chooses to throw their spouse away like a used garment. I admire Elizabeth Edwards (and even Mrs. Clinton) for their choices. I have lost much respect for John Edwards, but I do not see him as completely evil either. I pity Miss Hunter for believing in a fairy tale and making a bad choice, but I do not hate her either. She just isn't a person of strong character. People are human, and people make mistakes. What matters is how both sides deal with those mistakes. I think it is unkind to interfere with decisions that are not ours to make. What the Edwards' do about their situaltion is THEIR choice, not ours. I am most sorry for the Edwards children. Going through this must be hardest on them, not to mention the possibility of losing their mother. The public, myself included, should refrain from passing moral judgement on these people. I would rather look on the positive things that have come from this unfortunate event. Most of all, we should leave Elizabeth Edwards alone (and her children). So she chose to deal with her pain by writing about it? So what? MAYBE someone with be helped by listening to her.

[cregis]

Elizabeth Edwards stays with John because of money and life style. Who would have her on tv without his name? Yes, it's bad that she has cancer, but why can't she live out her life privately in her comfortable surroundings? Why does the public have to hear about all these details? I think she enjoys the limelight and I don't care. Please make them go away.

[rsmik]

You are so hot.

[jackp32]

It's the money, stupid. She cannot stand him, but loves the money that the evil rich man has. Go get it while you can John.

[SoCalBruce]

um.. "it's justathought,' may I remind you, that SOUTHERN RACISM was perpetuated by DEMOCRATS, who fought TOOTH AND NAIL to prevent Title VII (Civil Rights act of 1964) from passing-without REPUBLICAN SUPPORT it never would have been ratified. Furthermore, it was a REPUBLICAN administration that guided this nation through the CIVIL WAR that was fought to END SLAVERY. Do you think there were many REPUBLICAN plantation owners? You must be under 40.

[weedapoopl]

Apparently all the southern Democrats are above reproach?
Posted by leeanna59 at 2:59 PM : May 6, 2009

The Democrats were the prevailing party in the South because Lincoln was a Republican.

And yet, how many southern black Republicans did you ever hear of?

[MissUT]

Let's see, I expect that no one from the Dems is from the South? Oh wait, John and Elizabeth live in the Carolinas, Al Gore lives in Kentucky, and Bill Clinton was from Arkansas. So, why is that the South is trashed only when talking about Republicans? Apparently all the southern Democrats are above reproach?
Posted by leeanna59 at 2:59 PM : May 6, 2009
***********************

Sorry, leeanna59, Al Gore is from and lives in the great state of Tennessee!

I am appalled at the harsh comments directed at Elizabeth Edwards. Her political affiliation has no bearing on this story whatsoever. She is a woman with recurring terminal breast
cancer, who has been dealt a lot of heartache in her life. Just the fact that she lost a 16 yr old son and managed to cope with that loss means she is worthy of my respect. I fear none of us would fare very well if we had to live in glass houses.
I wish Elizabeth Edwards the very best that life can offer her at this point. If talking about her hardships in this life helps her deal with, who are we to judge her.
NONE of her problems have been through some fault of her own...loss of a child, recurring cancer, and an unfaithful spouse. She should have our admiration, not our scorn. Shame on some of you for your disgusting comments.

[leeanna59]

those SOUTHERN FRIED RACISTS . . .

Posted by itsjustathought

When ever Libs want to trash the Republicans, they always trash the South. I'm not from the South, but I have lived there and I found it to be quite lovely.

Let's see, I expect that no one from the Dems is from the South? Oh wait, John and Elizabeth live in the Carolinas, Al Gore lives in Kentucky, and Bill Clinton was from Arkansas. So, why is that the South is trashed only when talking about Republicans? Apparently all the southern Democrats are above reproach?

[weedapoopl]

So what? Liberals aren't perfect....
Posted by itsjustathought at 1:15 PM : May 6, 2009

And what about that toe-tappin' Craig? Huh? What about that?

Democrats jump with glee at a character scandal involving the GOP.

But when it's one of their own, it's just "noboody'd perfect, why can't you just leave her alone, boo hoo."

Nice double standard, libs.

[coldasgold]

Oh, this is a true story? I thought it was a made the TV drama. I watched the drama unfold and thought "this woman cannot be for real". She has a mental problem as well as cancer. The media made her out to be so heroic it made me want to just throw up. On top of her illness, she now reveals she knew of his infidelity. This is one sick woman actually exposing the country to this rabid dog husband of hers even if she got him on a choke chain while all along playing poor, poor, pitiful me. Sick!

[coldasgold]

Why doesn't she just tell us the true reasoning behind her standing by her man is that she knew if she didn't want him to leave her, there was no way he could. With her being sick & all the negative media he would have been castigated by the public. She has got this dog home trained with the biggest chain around his neck. There is no way this dog changes venues ... LOL

[weedapoopl]

It's because she's a Democrat and so is he.

Democrats think Democrats can do no wrong.

But they bash Bush for every burned out lightbulb in the past 8 years.

That's why.

[Rowdy108]

I agree! The stupid woman begs for privacy, then writes a book about it and promotes the story to sell a freakng book, and runs and appears on talk shows yapping like a parrot about.

Is she even sane?

I thought she was terminally ill? What's up with that? Did she have a pimple on her boob and use it as an excuse to get the sympathy vote?

[dahizzle]

Hmmmmm....well hung?

[shayjo-2009]

We should be careful with the seeds of judgement that we sow. One day, we could find ourselves in a similar circumstance and our words may come back to bite us. Also, "boys flying kites can haul in their white wing birds, but you can't do the same when you are flying words".

[kphx]

We can be sure, this is not the first time that Mr.Edwards has done something like this. This is just the first time he got caught.