Spotting And Handling Office Snakes

As They Make Your Job Harder, Economy Is Making Problem Worse; Workplace Expert Sue Morem Offers Advice

(CBS)  Holding onto a job right now is tough enough. Mix in a backstabbing co-worker, and it could get even tougher.

So, how can you pick out the office snake - the one seeking to undermine and sabotage you, your reputation and your career at every turn - the one spreading rumors about you - the one putting you down to your boss behind your back - the one stealing credit for your ideas - and how can you deal with the situation before it gets out of control?

On The Early Show Saturday Edition, career coach Sue Morem, author of "How to Get a Job and Keep It," offered words to the wise.

How big a problem is office backstabbing, and how does it affect people at work?

It's a big problem: People problems are at the core of almost all workplace complaints. When we feel alienated or betrayed, we are more anxious, fearful and stressed. Our focus shifts to finding the source of the problem or figuring out how to deal with the person we think is sabotaging us and as a result, we are less productive.

Is the problem worse now because of the bad ecomony?

Yes, much worse, because everyone is worried about losing his or her job. There is also less of a support system (workplaces are more lean), and there's just an overall feeling of stress.

What are some of the complaints you hear most about people in the office?

It's always about someone else: the annoying coworker, the difficult boss, the mean-spirited or competitive colleague. It's people who push our buttons and make our lives miserable.

What signs should we look for to help us identify a potential problem?

It can be difficult - it's not always specific. Sometimes it's a "gut feeling." You might hear rumors being spread about you, you might feel tension with others, or it could be as blatant as someone purposely withholding information, ignoring you, belittling you, or blaming you for something you didn't do.

Categories these problems fall under:

a) The backstabber: Watch out for this one - he might appear to be on your side, but behind your back he will bad mouth you, lie about you and may be out to destroy you. The backstabber tries to make himself look good at your expense - by making you look bad. Pay attention to how you feel around this person and what you hear; seek clarification if you're getting mixed signals.

b) The gossiper: Keep in mind that those who gossip to you will gossip about you. It doesn't hurt to listen to what you hear - just don't participate in the conversation. Often, the industry grapevine is true, but the gossiper tends to exaggerate, so beware. Some people feel they'll make themselves look better by spreading information, especially about someone else. The good news is that most people catch on to this tactic, but not always before damage is done.

c) The credit-robber: There are people who take credit for other people's ideas in order to shine the light on themselves, no matter whom they steal from to do it. The credit-robber usually steals the spotlight when you least suspect it, and in front of others. Being caught off-guard makes it difficult to know how to respond and, by the time you catch your breath, you've lost your moment.

d) The unsupportive supervisor (who has it in for you): This is a tough one: When you don't have your supervisor on your side, you're on your own. Many supervisors feel threatened by their staff; some thrive on the power they feel from making others feel small. You must be very careful when the problem is your supervisor - as with any negative scenario, you need to take a step back to evaluate the situation and do everything you can to protect yourself.

What are some overall tips for dealing with these toxic co-workers?

1. Take Ownership: We're often quick to point fingers, but sometimes the problem is within; look to yourself first and ask, "How might I be contributing to this?"

2. Confront the source: It doesn't do any good to talk to everyone about a problem you have with someone else. Approach the person you are troubled by, but don't be accusatory. Speak in terms of "I," rather than pointing fingers. Seek clarification; ask questions rather than making accusations. Avoid putting the other person on the defensive.

3. Document the information: When you are having ongoing problems with someone, it's important to document what's taking place. Keep a journal/notes of conversations and keep copies of e-mails, voice mails, or any other communication should you need to prove your case in the future.

4. Choose your battles wisely: Some things aren't worth challenging. Save your battles for the important issues - those that affect your reputation, and your livelihood.

5. Finally, know when to walk away: When you've tried everything, but the problem persists, sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away. If you dread going to work, you resent your boss and the company you're working for, and you aren't performing to your capacity, you're probably better off leaving, and trusting that you learned from this and will find a better situation in the future. There are a lot of problem people out there, but there are also many great people and companies to work for - you just have to be willing to look for them.

[kalynn01]

the thing is the snakes who usually win get people laid off because they have the boss's ear.. realize how much more work they are going to have to do when the knowledgable, hard workers are gone..

[bullying]

Justice in the Workplace: I have experienced all of the above for 3 1/2 years; I have done all of the recommendations. I was an above-average, productive employee for 10 years.
I have followed our company protocol, to no avail. I have written letters to the President & CEO, to no avail. I have also written to the new Secretary of Labor in Washington, DC. I have not received an answer to date.

I have become a member of the Workplace Bullying Institute, Drs. Gary & Ruth Namie. You can google them. They also have a book, "The Bully at Work". Presently, there are 11 states across the nation that have "Healthy Workplace Acts", in each of the 11 states, in their respective Legislatures. Also, David Yamada, Professor at SSRN, Suffolk University in Boston has a research paper on Workplace Bullying, a excellent read. you can google him - Minding the Workplace, Professor David Yamada.

You and I are among 54 Million Americans across the nation - We can make a difference to rid the workplace of this psychological torture. The Power is in Numbers. Please write to your district legislatures.

[cheetah-man7]

5. Finally, know when to walk away: When you've tried everything, but the problem persists, sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away. If you dread going to work, you resent your boss and the company you're working for, and you aren't performing to your capacity, you're probably better off leaving, and trusting that you learned from this and will find a better situation in the future. There are a lot of problem people out there, but there are also many great people and companies to work for - you just have to be willing to look for them.
______________________________________

Easier said than done....... There are MANY who would love to just leave.... but go where? This is not the time to encourage stupid decisions like leaving when there is nowhere else to go.

Who the h.ell edits these articles first?

[mswolfestock]

If you look in your dictionary under "snake," there will be a little picture of my supervisor. She's 32, I'm 55. (My total work experience goes back 37 years. She has not lived as long as I have worked.) I have a bachelor's degree, she does not. I chose not to have children and have no regrets. She's got 3 kids and is on The Mommy Track. This means that nobody can take a day off or leave early because she's already going every which way with those 3 kids. Or she's on the phone with one of them, or on the phone talking to somebody about them. We get to cover for her and do her work while she goes to soccer practice. When her kids get sick, she's out for days at a time, and then she brings in the germs and viruses to share with all of us.

I used to like going to work, I used to be proud of the work I did. But that was before I had to work for this stupid little snake, this little idiot who feels threatened by my education, experience, any my disiinterest in her stupid kids. If there are "working mothers" out there who can see beyond their own narrow existence, I have not seen any of them.

[sndkzyaa]

When that happens the best thing you can do is find another job, and once you have quit and gone to work for that company, lay everything out in a letter and send it to your bosses's boss, with a copy to the HR department and the owner of the company or chairman of the board. It won't get your old job back, but the people you send that letter to will be grateful. And you may need their help years later.

Sooner or later, bosses that allow this behavior in their departments will end up themselves screwing up and getting fired - so you generally don't have to worry about such people in the long term.
Posted by tmittelstaed at 8:07 PM : Mar 28, 2009

Yes, they do end up getting fired. And their replacement starts right in doing the same thing.

Go find another job? It's happening there, too.

It happens everywhere. As long as we live in a drug society, as long as woman use their bodies to gain social power wherever they go (including the office), as long as powerful people do shameful things that they want to hide, it happens everywhere.

It has always been so, and it always will be.

[ROBACA]

Work together? Most women are too busy working against each other because of their own insecurities. Worked in an office with a few, the supervisor was a snake the age of my youngest child. Now I have no job.

[tmittelstaed]

"And they get away with it because they have some kind of cowardly political inisde track with the boss - being a pretty woman, being the drug delivery boy, having some blackmail against the boss. "

When that happens the best thing you can do is find another job, and once you have quit and gone to work for that company, lay everything out in a letter and send it to your bosses's boss, with a copy to the HR department and the owner of the company or chairman of the board. It won't get your old job back, but the people you send that letter to will be grateful. And you may need their help years later.

Sooner or later, bosses that allow this behavior in their departments will end up themselves screwing up and getting fired - so you generally don't have to worry about such people in the long term.

[sndkzyaa]

Office snakes are for the most part scared of their own shadow
Posted by carolhill814 at 1:49 PM : Mar 28, 2009

Snakes are incompetent cowards who know they don't deserve the jobs they have.

So they have to tear down their co-workers to lower the bar on office standards, then they try to artificially inflate their own image by pretending they did work that the do not actually have the slightest clue how it was done.

And they get away with it because they have some kind of cowardly political inisde track with the boss - being a pretty woman, being the drug delivery boy, having some blackmail against the boss.

It undermines the integrity of the entire office. And it can work to the detriment of the entire business, because truly competent contributors get elbowed out, and politically adroit incompetents take their places and then fail to perform at anywhere near the level of the ones they pushed out.

[sndkzyaa]

When somebody stole my idea at work, it's because the boss let her.

You see, she was much prettier than I am...

It takes two to tango. When somebody steals your idea, the boss knows they stole it.

It takes two to pull off stealing - one to steal, and one to receive what was stolen, knowing that it was stolen.
'

[carolhill814]

Snakes love to do that because they want to more important and they take down anybody they want to just to look better than anyone else.

[carolhill814]

Office snakes are for the most part scared of their own shadow and they want to make sure nothing they do wrong shows up and blames someone else.
I worked with a office full of them better known as CUBANS and they managed to get me fired off of a job because they really didn't like Americans very well at all.

[johnb8888]

"We should work together.
Posted by JoetheDumbass


And if that doesn't work, a quiet suggestion to the bossman that you understand that he might want to live long enough to see his grandchildren grow up could help turn things around.

[JoetheDumbass]

This article is disturbing. Why create paranoia and anger in such trying times? We should work together.