Pastor's Wife Forgives Accused Gunman
Last Sunday, a gunman walked into the First Baptist Church in Maryville, Ill., near St. Louis, and opened fire, killing pastor Fred Winters. Two congregants were injured as they wrestled him to the ground.
The alleged gunman, Terry Sedlacek, has pleaded not guilty to murder charges.
Now, the pastor's wife says she's praying for Sedlacek.
In an exclusive interview with Early Show co-anchor Julie Chen from inside the church Monday, Cindy Winters said she doesn't even hold any "hard feelings" against Sedlacek.
"I do not have any hatred, or even hard feelings towards him," she told Chen. "We have been praying for him. One of the first things that my daughter said to me after this happened was, 'You know, I hope that he comes to learn to love Jesus through all of this.' We are not angry at all, and we really firmly believe that he can find hope and forgiveness and peace through this, by coming to know Jesus. And we hope that that happens for him."
Asked what she hopes the criminal justice system does with Sedlacek, Winters replied, "I don't have any speculation or any idea about that. But I do hope that he finds peace with God. I hope that he comes to understand that God loves him in spite of his sins and that he can have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ."
Copyright 2009 CBS. All rights reserved. The alleged gunman, Terry Sedlacek, has pleaded not guilty to murder charges.
Now, the pastor's wife says she's praying for Sedlacek.
In an exclusive interview with Early Show co-anchor Julie Chen from inside the church Monday, Cindy Winters said she doesn't even hold any "hard feelings" against Sedlacek.
"I do not have any hatred, or even hard feelings towards him," she told Chen. "We have been praying for him. One of the first things that my daughter said to me after this happened was, 'You know, I hope that he comes to learn to love Jesus through all of this.' We are not angry at all, and we really firmly believe that he can find hope and forgiveness and peace through this, by coming to know Jesus. And we hope that that happens for him."
Asked what she hopes the criminal justice system does with Sedlacek, Winters replied, "I don't have any speculation or any idea about that. But I do hope that he finds peace with God. I hope that he comes to understand that God loves him in spite of his sins and that he can have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ."
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Tanana, unfortunately "true believers" are not always forgiving and kind. As a matter of fact, a lot of "true believers" are just the opposite. Think of John Calvin and Martin Luther, "true believers" who burned "heretics" at the stake.
Religion people frequently use their religion as a justification for very vile, very hateful behavior. Other religious people use their religion as an "excuse" to treat people with love and kindness, as this family seems to be doing.
One day, you will come to understand that there are kind and loving Christians and there are hateful, abusive Christians. Most Christians can be both (kind and loving in some moment and hateful and abusive in other circumstances.) By the same token, there are kind and loving non-Christians, and there are hateful, abusive non-Christians. And again, there are non-Christians who are kind and loving in some circumstances and hateful and abusive in other circumstances.
In the case of Pastor Winter's wife and children, it seems to me that they are kind, loving, decent people who would be just as kind loving, and decent if they were Buddhists, or Muslims, or agnostics, or atheists. I don't buy it that a person's religion is what dictates that person's character. Rather, I would suggest that a kind and loving person will be kind and loving IN SPITE OF his or her religion or IN SPITE OF his or her lack of religion.
You see, rrozsa, what you and Christians like you don't understand is that you, too often, use the words, "I'll pray for you," as a passive-aggressive insult.
Whenever a Christian flings those words at me (in the manner you just demonstrated), I suggest to the person that his or her prayers are worthless. And in this case, sad as it is, the prayers of Christians who prayed for the safety and well-being of this pastor were prayers that seemed to fall on deaf ears.
I don't mind that people pray. I don't even mind when people say they'll pray for me. I think it's nice when people say that and mean it in a way that is intended to be loving. However, when the words "I'll pray for you" are used as a weapon---then pointing out the worthlessness/ineffectiveness of prayer in that person's life seems to be appropriate.
Well said, Kawilik, and I agree. I am not a Christian. Forgiveness means to abandon hatred and hostility toward the person who wronged you. What's great about it is that you can forgive a person regardless of the person's attitude. Even if the wrongdoer is not sorry and does not want your forgiveness, forgivness is a wise choice because it allows the person who was wronged to have control over his or her own happiness. Hatred and hostility toward the perpetrator, while absolutely understandable in many situations--and certainly in this one, gives the perpetrator or wrongdoer a certain amount of control over the victim's happiness. For that reason alone, forgiveness is a choice that makes a lot of sense regardless of one's religious beliefs (or lack thereof.) The choice to forgive is not really a reflection of a person's "goodness" or "relationship with God." (At least not in my opinion.) Rather, choosing forgiveness instead of hatred is a reflection of a person's determination not to live as a victim and not to allow the perpetrator any further control over his or her life.
Having said that, I know from personal experience that grief is not a simple process. A grieving person goes through many different stages. Right now, I think that this woman and her children are in shock. Possibly in denial. That is not to minimize their forgiving attitude in any way. I just think that they are also going to have to "forgive themselves" in a sense when they go through other stages as well. At one point, one or all of them will, more than likely, feel a great deal of anger toward the man who killed their husband and their father. One or all of them will go through a temporary or permanent faith crisis. One or all of them may decide that they do not forgive Terry Sedlacek for what he did, and that, too, is understandable. Eventually, they will settle on an attitude they can adopt that will help them to heal and to go on with their lives. The attitude they have right now, however, may not be the attitude they have in the end.
As far as Terry Sedlacek--I don't know what I think should happen to him. If he really is mentally ill, to the point that he was unable to understand that what he did was wrong,, then I think that he should receive treatment and incarceration in a mental hospital of some kind (so that he cannot kill or hurt anyone else.)
It is odd that police have not yet mentioned a motive. I don't think he was having a gay relationship with the pastor, as others have suggested. However, I do wonder if he had some kind of previous relationship with the pastor or with the church. Did he feel wronged in some way by the pastor's or the church's behavior toward him? If that turns out to be the case, it won't excuse his behavior in any way. However, I think it would at least help to shed some light on the situation.
If there was absolutely no motive in the case--if he had no previous connection with the pastor or the church---and his behavior was completely random, then I'm even more inclined to think that he is mentally ill and that his mental illness will have to be considered when this case goes to trial.
I feel terrible for Pastor Winters' family and also for his congregation. But I also feel badly for the family of Terry Sedlacek. This is a nightmare for everyone involved. How very, very sad.
Of course, the pastor's wife just lost her husband. Anyone could forgive her for not thinking clearly, but not for being ignorant.