As Wars Drag On, Military Divorces Go Up

Intimate Relationships Are Strained By Increasing Demands Placed On Military Families

(AP)  The divorce rate among soldiers and Marines increased last year as military marriages suffered continuing stress from America's two ongoing wars.

There were an estimated 10,200 failed marriages in the active duty Army and 3,077 among Marines, according to figures obtained by The Associated Press for the budget year ended Sept. 30.

That's a divorce rate of 3.5 percent among more than 287,000 married troops in the Army, up from 3.3 percent in the previous fiscal year, according to Defense Department figures.

"With increasing demands placed on Army families and soldiers - including frequent deployments and relocations - intimate relationships are tested," said Army spokesman Paul Boyce.

The new data shows 3.7 percent of more than 84,000 married Marines divorced in fiscal year 2008, up from 3.3 percent in 2007. The Marine Corps called the increase statistically small and said officials would need to examine them farther.

"That said, Marine Corps leadership is keenly aware of the burden military families carry in a time of war," said Col. Dave Lapan, a spokesman. "Our leaders, from the commandant on down, are paying serious attention to the strain."

Some veteran and family groups question whether Pentagon figures are too low, saying they do not take into account many who divorce after leaving the service. The groups are unable to offer other estimates.

"Divorce rates are up - no doubt about it - a kind of predictable ripple effect of this pace of operations," Paul Rieckhoff of the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America said in a recent interview. "And that's not even taking into account the number of marriages that are strained" but still holding together.

But defense officials say they are holding divorces down below what they might otherwise be with a myriad of efforts in recent years to support couples enduring unprecedented separations and other hardships because of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The long and repeated deployments required of many troops have been widely blamed for unprecedented stresses on military couples. Spouses at home must manage families and households without their partner. The strain also has contributed to higher suicide rates and more mental health problems among troops.

The Marines and soldiers have been the bulk of the land force fighting the two wars.

The divorce rate stayed at 3.5 percent this year for the Air Force and went down slightly to 3 percent from 3.2 percent for the Navy.

Women in the military usually suffer higher rates of failed marriages than men and that trend held true again last year. Army women divorced at a rate of 8.5 percent compared to 2.9 percent for men. Female Marines divorced at a rate of 9.2 percent, compared to 3.3 percent of the married men.

There is no comparable system for tracking civilian divorces. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said the divorce rate for the general population was 3.6 per 1,000 people in 2005 - the most recent statistics immediately available; that was the lowest rate since 1970.

The per capita divorce rate is different from a second method of calculation - the percentage of marriages that eventually will end in divorce or separation. The CDC said that year that 43 percent of all first marriages end in divorce within 10 years.

The military numbers also do not speak to troubled but intact marriages. In mental health surveys taken in Iraq, some 15 percent of troops have said they intended to divorce when they got home.

All the services have started programs to help couples weather wartime stresses.

"Military families continue to stand behind their soldiers and help those in need," Boyce said, noting that 58 percent of soldiers in today's Army are married. "America is now in the third-longest war in its history. This is the first extended conflict since the Revolution fought with an all-volunteer Army."

Military programs aimed at helping couples include the Army chaplains' Strong Bonds, which helps single-soldiers choose mates wisely and build lifelong relationships; a couples course, and a family course that trains couples with children to stay close and parent well.

Officials also have worked to improve the quality of life for families by funding various programs and services such as health care, better schools, youth services and child care.

The Marines have offered workshops to teach couples to manage conflict, solve problems and communicate better. The Navy started a similar program, using weekend retreats for couples.

Troops also get mental-health training in a program called Battlemind that teaches about common problems to expect at home as they readjust to domestic life.

[haskel20]

My husband and I are both in the military. We have two beautiful, full of energy children. He is on his second deployment. During our 5 years of marriage he has been deployed 3 of those years. It is a constant mental and physical strain on the spouse left at home to tend to everything. Deploymment puts marriages to the test. People now a days are more willing to quit and give up then they are to try to make it work.

[impeach___w]

SFCUSARMY1 and doc18d , Some can make it work but for most it''s simply not worth it in the end.

Please read this statement. It is 100% accurate. You made it work and thats is great. You are not in the majority. Get back to me in ten or twenty years after retireing and dealing with the VA. I hope you were not injured or disabled. I only have 37 years or life experience with the Marines to pass along. I suppose you were not in Vietnam or dealt with agent orange, Gulf war illness, vaccination issues or a lifetime of contaminated water at Camp Lejeune. Drop by the VA, you may not find as many regrets as you find reservations. Please know what you are getting into.

[inventagod2]

nuthin like a lonely young wife with children...

[doc18d]

impeach___w,
you are way off base.
Having spent 20 years in the Army,
Half in Special op''s, I know firsthand what the military can and does for you. I retired with disability and have never had one complaint about how I was and am treated. I have moved on with my life, and like SFCUSARMY1, I feel I am much better due to my military life and experience.

[armydog2]

This definitely is another casuality of this war. It is very important that we as a nation support these families, young wives with young children while their spouses are serving our Nation overseas. I know this for a fact because I have a son serving in Iraq on a fifteen month tour, he has a wife and my seven month old granddaughter back here at home. I do everything I possibly can to help her and support her and my grandbaby.It is extremely hard on her emotionaly and every other way possible.This is my son''s second tour. And it is very difficult for me as his mom to stay strong for my daughter-in-law,but I will do it for my son and his family.

[longtree-2009]

lets not forget they are all volunteers or career military types. there is no draft. no one is forced to be in the military. my vote is to bring back the draft from ages 18 through 55. the older the draftee the more sedentary the job, like data clerks.

[twistedsister1959]

My daughter was dating a young marine whose friend (also a marine)decided to enlist the help of a young female friend to marry to gain the extra benefits. This was common they said. Neither could have cared less about getting married or being together. So how many of these young men and women have really said "I do" versues those that send the wifey a little money every mth to enrich their own lives while in the military. Sad but true. I couldn''t believe when I heard this story. But upon the next visit I saw for myself firsthand how the "wifey" managed to adjust perfectly to any and all marines. Men and women in the military with real families suffering day and night and these two playing for the sake of a few extra dollars to reap every month. I almost got sick.

[spadeisspade]

I agree with you, SFCUS; I''m rather new to the military life, as a spouse. Had you asked me before whether I thought the military cared about me, or my marriage, I''d have laughed in your face. But now that I am living the life, my attitude is a lot different. There''s a 24 hour hotline opened for anything you could possibly need-counseling referrals, bureaucratic red tape help, etc. They offer free marital counseling. Just absolutely tons of free outreach.

The problem I see is that more soldiers are getting married for wrong reasons. I see it all the time. You feel like you have to be a man, start a family, grow up. With the war, there''s more of a sense of that urgency because there''s always the possibility you could die. There should be more outreach to educate soldiers into being absolutely sure BEFORE getting married, not waste money in programs to keep unhappy couples together. But to say that the military doesn''t care at all is absolutely ignorant.

Methinks impeach_w probably has not a clue as to what they are talking about. It''s really easy to hate the military; but what it boils down to is-if they don''t make life great for their soldiers, how in the world would they get people to enlist?

I am so excited that Michelle Obama is taking on military family support as her agenda. I am really looking forward to seeing what she does!

[spadeisspade]

I agree with you, SFCUS; I''m rather new to the military life, as a spouse. Had you asked me before whether I thought the military cared about me, or my marriage, I''d have laughed in your face. But now that I am living the life, my attitude is a lot different. There''s a 24 hour hotline opened for anything you could possibly need-counseling referrals, bureaucratic red tape help, etc. They offer free marital counseling. Just absolutely tons of free outreach.

The problem I see is that more soldiers are getting married for wrong reasons. I see it all the time. You feel like you have to be a man, start a family, grow up. With the war, there''s more of a sense of that urgency because there''s always the possibility you could die. There should be more outreach to educate soldiers into being absolutely sure BEFORE getting married, not waste money in programs to keep unhappy couples together. But to say that the military doesn''t care at all is absolutely ignorant.

Methinks impeach_w probably has not a clue as to what they are talking about. It''s really easy to hate the military; but what it boils down to is-if they don''t make life great for their soldiers, how in the world would they get people to enlist?

I am so excited that Michelle Obama is taking on military family support as her agenda. I am really looking forward to seeing what she does!

[sfcusarmy1]

impeach___w - Youre way off base on most of the trash you are spewing! I''ve been in the Army for 19 years. Although mission comes first, leaders at all levels do care about their soldiers welfare, happiness and success. We get paid 24/7. Not the other way around. And we do take care of soldiers when they are hurt and leaving the service. Much more than the civillian sector does thats for sure.
Most Vets are also very proud of their service and have no regrets. You must be talking to the ones that couldnt hang and got kicked out.
Its been my experience that the pro''s of military life have out weighed the con''s by far. Just like anything in life it has its ups and downs but I am a much better person for having served my country and proud to be doing it. I recommend the military to anyone who is able and willing to serve.

[impeach___w]

The military does not care about your happiness or success in life. They only want your body where it is ordered to. They will not taken care of you especially after you leave or get hurt. You sign your life away to the government, work 24/7 but get paid 9-5. You have a much higher change of making the rest of your life miserable when you enlist or are comissioned. Some can make it work but for most it''s simply not worth it in the end. Ask a Vet. about their concerns or regrets before you sign up.