Parents To Toymakers: Cut The Ads

Companies Defend Marketing To Children, Say Parents Can Tailor Gift-Giving To Economic Situation

(AP)  In a season that inspires earnest letters about toys, one notable batch is being sent not by kids to Santa's workshop, but by parents to the executive suites of real-world toy makers.

The message: Please, in these days of economic angst, cut back on marketing your products directly to our children.

The letter-writing initiative was launched by the Boston-based Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, which says roughly 1,400 of its members and supporters have contacted 24 leading toy companies and retailers to express concern about ads aimed at kids.

"Unfortunately, I will not be able to purchase many of the toys that my sons have asked for; we simply don't have the money," wrote Todd Helmkamp of Hudson, Ind. "By bombarding them with advertisements ... you are placing parents like me in the unenviable position of having to tell our children that we can't afford the toys you promote."

The Toy Industry Association has responded with a firm defense of current marketing practices, asserting that children "are a vital part of the gift selection process."

"If children are not aware of what is new and available, how will they be able to tell their families what their preferences are?" an industry statement said. "While there is certainly greater economic disturbance going on now, families have always faced different levels of economic well-being and have managed to tailor their spending to their means."

In recent conference calls with investors, toy company executives said they expect to suffer some holiday-season impact from the economic crisis, yet suggested their industry would be more resilient than many other sectors. The toy industry is commonly viewed as recession-resistant, due largely to the parent-child dynamic.

"Parents have trouble saying no," said Allison Pugh, a University of Virginia sociology professor. She says parents often buy toys to avoid guilt and ensure their children feel in sync with school classmates.

"Even under circumstances of dire financial straits, that's the last thing parents give up," said Pugh. "They'll contain their own buying for themselves before they'll make their child feel different at school."

Amanda Almodovar says she encounters such families in her work as an elementary school social worker in Alamance County, N.C., where homelessness and unemployment are rising.

"I had one parent who said she'd prostitute herself to get what her child wants," Almodovar said. "It's heartbreaking. They feel inadequate as parents.

"I try to tell them, worry about your home, your heating bill - but they're the ones who have to look into children's faces, the children saying 'I want this, I want that.'"

Even in some households not in fiscal crisis, there's a sense that this holiday season is different.

John Schenkenfelder, a financial adviser and father of three in Louisville, Ky., wrote a blog entry this month urging families to scale down their gift-giving and spend more time playing together.

"This has been bugging me for years, even when times were great," Schenkenfelder said in a telephone interview. "Maybe people will get it this year - they're so unprepared for this debacle. They're shell-shocked."

In Columbus, Ohio, Erin Beth Dower Charron has been trying to brace her 4-year-old son and 8-year-old daughter for more subdued gift-getting this year as the family begins financial belt-tightening.

"My 8-year-old is still holding out hope that Santa will get her that one special gift, but understanding this year may be different," Dower Charron said. "My son doesn't understand. Everything he sees, he wants."

Toy ads on kids' TV shows make the process harder, she said. "The onslaught seems to be more intense this year."

Dower Charron was among the hundreds of parents who took up the suggestion to write to toy companies.

"Help me understand why your toy is the better one for my child, and why it should be one of the few I can afford," she wrote. "Don't leave that up to my children."

The director of the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, psychologist Susan Linn, said she and her colleagues don't expect toy companies to stop advertising - rather, they want the ads directed at parents.

"It's cruel to dangle irresistible ads for toys and electronics in front of kids - encouraging them to nag for gifts that their parents can't afford," she said. "It's just not fair."

The big toy makers aren't likely to redirect their ads for one fundamental reason, according to Richard Gottlieb, a New York-based consultant to the industry.

"Toy companies advertise to children because it works, to be brutally honest," Gottlieb said in an interview.

Gottlieb also contends that it's good for children to encounter toy ads - even in cases where products later turn out to be disappointments.

"It teaches, for very low stakes, how to navigate in our consumer culture," he said.

"They are going to have to spend the rest of their lives listening to every kind of marketing approach, and childhood is where they will learn to cope with it."

As for the economic pressure on parents, Gottlieb sounds a fatalistic note.

"Believe me, there are families with much bigger issues on their plates right now then worrying about whether their child will be unhappy because they did not get a particular toy," Gottlieb wrote in his "Out of the Toy Box" blog. "Delivering disappointment goes with the job of parenting."

[avigil2]

Be the parent. Just say NO! Simple as that!

[sensiblejack]

This is laughable......try raising your kids and saying no. You are raising a generation of spoiled brats who feel everything is an entitlement.

they can learn now ( if you teach them).....or the collective "WE" can teach them later when they enter "real life"

[horse3farm]

I agree with most of the posters....be parents. Your job is not to be your kids'' best friend. Your job is to teach them about life, and how you can''t always get what you want. I raised my daughter as a single parent and spent many hours reading to her, dancing with her to rock music, playing games. Even going outside when it was cold and snowy and having a great time just falling down in the snow. She never did care about sitting in front of the TV. Perhaps it is because when I was young, playing outside all day was the bomb! There were a million things to do. As a result, my daughter, now 24, is so grounded and realizes that the immaterial things in life are more important. Giving your child everything, and the latest and greatest, just to be part of the "in crowd" sets them up for great disappointment in later life.

[civility101]

The best "story" I heard being given out to kids was the line "Santa may bring the toys, but Mom and Dad get the bill." Children need parents who are able to say "that''s too expensive." and to mean "no." That to whine would make a sort-of "no" into a "Definite NO". Teach them to recognize propaganda for what it is, whether it be an ad or a TV show. They gain a sense of money, self-control, and a healty skepticism for what TV ads and shows promote. My kids (now young adults) are always incredulous of how ad-driven and propagandized their peers were and are.

[blogthis1]

Here''s and idea. PARENTS...have the balls to say no to your brat. They do not need everything. Stop blaming stores and everyone else.

[billpl-2009]

"Yeah, or those big giant libraries, wouldn''''t want to shell out $5 for a library card would we..." Posted by eddom949

they got those too and one really nice library use them at

I buy all the books my kids want
it''s not like I''m rich or anything, but kids books aren''t going to bust my budget

[eddom949]

Yeah, or those big giant libraries, wouldn''t want to shell out $5 for a library card would we...

[billpl-2009]

"Me to parents: Get your kids away from the TV. Buy them books. " -- Posted by downtowner97
" 2nd that emotion....." posted by ToolMangler

You 2 live under a rock?
Or maybe you haven''t noticed those great big giant bookstores in nearly every other major strip mail in America?
Or the size of the child/teen book section of your favourite Wart Mart or Target?
If I take the kids, I can''t leave without shelling out at least a 100 bucks

[yeswedid]

It''s absolutely sick all the junk they have out for kids. I usually get my children 1 or 2 gifts to unwrap and tell my family members to limit their gift giving as well. But I do get them a "gift" of something we can do as a family (this year we are going to a production of ''A Christmas Carol''). We also plan to go & visit elderly without family at a nursing home on Christmas Eve. Kids need to learn that it is better to give than to receive & possessions are not to be highly valued.

[puzzler125]

Why not tell your children that all the commercials are like giant catalogs of toys on television so that they get to see many different ones and pick those that are their favorites to POSSIBLY receive for Christmas. Let''s face it...the manufacturers are not going to cut back on their commercials but there is one thing they CAN do-they can make tastefully written commercials that have something to do with less money in the house and fewer toys for many children.

[jsd330]

Simple tell the kids to make a list with the number of toys that you will buy for each kid, when they see a toy commercial and say I want that, tell them it''s not on their list and do they want to take something off their list and add that toy? This is what I did with my kids and I do with my grandchildren and I tell them no changes after December 10.

[httpwwwnews]

===PUT DOWN THE POTATO CHIPS, TURN OFF THE TV AND GET OUTSIDE!===Posted by wallyj16

Fine if its December and you live in San Diego, where its 70 out. Not so easy when it''''''''s 10 degrees outside in Buffalo or Minneapolis. Posted by rafterman1

Same problem in So. California. Kids don''t want to go outside and play when it''s 85 to 95 everyday.

I agree with harbinger09, turn off the tv and do things inside the house, do homework, read.

[nothappyatall]

As far as reminiscing about the benefits of the 1890s, how are you mirroring those standards? Certainly not from the other side of your computer. But while you are there, you might want to take some time and do further research on the decade that you are holding up as an example of more positive and simpler times.

Posted by IrishWench "

HEY, it was NO Picnic back then I studied the era, BUT kids are still kids- back then a few found blocks of wood, a rag doll, jacks, marbles, ball and stick and books or whatever were the toys- see, they used their BRAINS and IMAGINATION cause they had nothing else!
Many of them worked 16 hour days like adults and many didnt have time for school, but GEE, somehow they invented things like the lightbulb, automobiles, refrigerators and all the rest we have now except computers. SOMEHOW they didnt need nintendo Xbox, Wii, or dolls that wet, krap, babble and hug.
But kids today dont have any imagination, thats why they "need" dolls that wet, krap themselves and hug huh?

[formrusmcsgt]

Parents who wish to control advertising rather than control their kid''s viewing simply want a free baby sitter and commercials go with the territory...in fact, they pay for it.

[sbelknap01]

harbinger09 you are awesome. Did you ever put green food coloring in eggs for Green Eggs and Ham? Got my two to make breakfast (and cleanup!) with that one. I get that these people didn''t want their kids in the first place, they wanted dolls to dress up, but now that they have actual human people in their lives, why not try to like them? They are interesting and funny. Think of them as an inexpensive hobby - that comes with hugs.

[nothappyatall]

Let me get this straight - parents are asking toy companies to stop advertising so that they don''''t have to tell their children ''''

YUP, you got that straight, the parents want free enterprise businesses to stop advertising so they as parents dont have to say NO LOL what losers

[cajunmaoris]

Parents to Children: No.

[sbelknap01]

Let me get this straight - parents are asking toy companies to stop advertising so that they don''t have to tell their children ''no''? Parents: who taught your children to a)watch TV b)want toys at christmas c)be hurt if they don''t get what they want and d)that their parents are required to provide them whatever plastic *** they demand? Jeez, what losers. Best Christmas EVER: Two kids, one yo-yo, one kitten. Doesn''t your TV have an off button? Don''t you watch it WITH your kids so you can mute thru the ***? Don''t you TELL your kids that it''s ***? Suffer. If you don''t make your kids advertising-proof they will be the same social climbing, over-extended, needy, useless narcissists you are. Don''t you even want to TRY to make them better?

[harbinger09]

===PUT DOWN THE POTATO CHIPS, TURN OFF THE TV AND GET OUTSIDE!===
Posted by wallyj16

Fine if its December and you live in San Diego, where its 70 out. Not so easy when it''''s 10 degrees outside in Buffalo or Minneapolis.

Posted by rafterman1 at 10:26 AM : Nov 30, 2008


FINE, THEN PUT DOWN THE POTATO CHIPS, TURN OFF THE TV AND DO STUFF WITH YOUR KIDS INSIDE!=== Lots of activities for those who want to do them--like cleaning the house, reading, drawing, board games, or memory games like watching their favorite videos then making a trivia game of remembering lines or what items were in a scene. We play games like this all the time and everyone of my kids stayed on the honor roll.

[cajunmaoris]

Toymakers to Parents: Cut the TV.