Divorce More Likely In ADHD Families?

Parents Of ADHD Kids Nearly Twice As Likely To Split As Families Without ADHD, Study Shows

(WebMD)  Married couples who have a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are nearly twice as likely to divorce by the time their child is 8 than are couples who do not have children affected by the disorder, according to a new study.

"We've known that ADHD kids can be very stressful for their parents," says William E. Pelham Jr., PhD, professor of psychology and pediatrics at the University at Buffalo and the study's senior author. "What this [new study] shows is that stress occurs in the marriage as well as in other aspects of the parents' lives."

Having a child with ADHD "probably causes a lot of arguments" between the husband and wife about how to handle the situation, Pelham tells WebMD. ADHD affects 5 percent or more of U.S. children, with symptoms including an inability to concentrate and follow directions, forgetfulness, and a tendency to daydream.

"If they don't get together on how to solve the problem, the child's behavior is not going to improve," he says. "The situation gets worse, and if those arguments don't get resolved, not only does the child's parenting not improve but the marriage worsens - and almost a quarter of the families get divorced."

ADHD & Divorce

Pelham and his colleagues collected data from the parents of 282 teens and young adults diagnosed with ADHD in childhood who were part of a larger research study, the Pittsburgh ADHD Longitudinal Study (PALS). They also evaluated the parents of 206 teens and young adults without the disorder.

The parents answered questions about how long they had been married, their educational levels, and any history of depression, substance abuse, or antisocial behavior.

The child's birth date, not the date of the parents' marriage, was the starting point. The parents of children with ADHD had been married nearly five years before the child with ADHD was born and the parents of the children without ADHD had been married a little over five years before the child was born.

ADHD & Divorce: Study Results

Nearly twice as many parents of ADHD children had divorced by the time the child was age 8, the study showed. Although 22.7 percent of the parents with ADHD children had divorced by the time the affected child was 8, just 12.6 percent of parents whose children did not have ADHD had split by the time the child was 8.

Certain risk factors in the children and the parents made divorce more likely, researchers found. If the child had coexisting disorders, such as oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) or conduct disorder (CD), it boosted the risk. A father's own antisocial behavior - such as having a DUI - boosted divorce risk. So did a discrepancy in the amount of education between partners - such as a mother having a low level and a father a high level.

"The bright spot is, the majority did not get divorced, even though the rate is twice as high," Pelham tells WebMD. Previous research, done by others, has found that mothers of children with ADHD are three times more likely to split up with their husbands than are mothers of children without ADHD.

Another potentially bright spot: the proportion of parents who divorced after the child with ADHD turned 8 did not differ significantly.

That finding may simply mean that "people have learned to cope and deal with the situation," Pelham tells WebMD. ADHD is typically treated with medication, behavior therapy, or both.

The study is published in the October issue of the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. The first author is Brian Wymbs, PhD, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Pittsburgh.

ADHD & Divorce: Interpretations

Parents of ADHD children have tremendous stress, says Pelham, who has researched that in other studies.

More stress can occur, he says, if parents disagree on what treatment to offer the child.

"One of the problems in families with ADHD kids is one parent will be really concerned it's a problem and the other won't see it as a problem," Pelham says. A mother, for instance, may deal with school officials and hear their concerns, he says, while a father may dismiss the behavior in a son with ADHD as "He's just all boy."

"Sometimes you get differences in parental perceptions, leading to disagreements," he says.

Second Opinions: ADHD & Divorce

The study findings come as no surprise to other experts. "We've suspected that marital discord and divorce are higher among families with children with ADHD, but this study shows that in a clear way," says Charlotte Johnston, PhD, professor of psychology and a long-time researcher on ADHD at the University of British Columbia, Vancouver, who trained with Pelham as a graduate student.

"I think what this really adds is looking at the predictors, showing there are child characteristics as well as parent characteristics."

The study findings seem to reflect anecdotal findings, says Bryan Goodman, a spokesman for CHADD, Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, a self-help organization that has more than 200 chapters for parents nationwide. "It's very stressful for families dealing with this disorder."

Often, he tells WebMD, parents simply are not on the same page. "You can have one parent who understands that the child has the disorder and that treatment is available and that it's important the child be treated. And you may have another parent having a hard time coming to terms with it and is reluctant to have the child treated."

ADHD & Families: Advice

Parents need to work together, says Pelham. They need to focus, he says, on learning better parenting skills. "Learning better skills as parents will not only improve a child's function, but help them resolve disagreements and reduce or minimize stress within the marriage."

Thinking long-term is crucial, he says. "Parent should not be thinking, 'I will solve this in the next four weeks," he says. They should be aware, too, that the core symptoms - problems paying attention, impulse control - tend to get better as a child gets older but that not all symptoms improve with age.

Help for parents is available through such programs as the University at Buffalo's Center for Children and Families, which Pelham directs, and organizations such as CHADD.

[mydiatribe]

This is a serious form of insanity but because it gets a nice clinical, politically correct acronym attached tp it, the population at large is lulled into the belief that this is no worse than having a kid with an overbite.

[adt13t]

for people to heal
treatment must be tailored
to each individual including
volitional choices and consequences
therapy is not about fluffing a sacherine
belief with further feel good nonsense it is
about grounding in true reality and making wellness
oriented choice by evolution of consciousness being

[adt13t]

When you go to a surgeon (businessman)
he will say "we have to cut"
When you see a psychiatrist she will say
"we have to medicate"
very few these days are healers
and most simply practice business
as efficiently as possible
assembly line
write a script $$$
cost effective
taking time to sort things out
and engender volitional change
= poor business practice

[adt13t]

ADHD big pharma diagnostic
guild of w/h/o/r/e 101 $$$
scape goat the established
whipping boy with a lifetime
of profitable modern day curse
and cover the tracks of
incompetent parenting
(not united in nurture)

[adt13t]

The caption should more correctly state;
ADHD diagnosis higher in failed (incompetent)
marriages.
How easy is it to blame the child whom surprise
utilizes the same spiritual defenses to protect
from parental incompetence and mayhem-
Such as daydreaming
so - called adults in actuality more like
posturing siblings can easily hang the whipping
boy out to dry in big pharma molestation

[smurfcrusher]

I''m sure the custody battles are more vicious, too.

[littlejudy2]

I have adult ADD, which means I also had it as a child. I started studying dance when I was seven, and like the commenter who said he played football, I can''t stress enough what a positive outlet that was for me. My parents weren''t rigid about rules, but I can see how if they had been my ADD would have put a strain on things.

Unfortunately, I became a heavy smoker in high school and smoked off and on until I was in my 30s. When I quit, my ADD manifested again big time and my life was turned upside down. Then I saw a program about ADD one night and got properly diagnosed. My doctor confirmed that I had been self-medicating with tobacco for years. Now I am on medication that has made an amazing difference in my life.

My advice to parents is to have your child properly diagnosed by a psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD. Encourage physical activity and creative outlets. ADD kids aren''t "sick" -- they are just different and need to learn organizational techniques that work for them. You may have to remind them more times than other kids to clean their room and do their homework. They are not deliberately trying to disobey you -- they''ve just been distracted by something more interesting to do!

Please make sure they know how many successful, creative professionals are out there who -- like me -- have learned to harness their ADD different-ness.

[ljb6599]

kenhammlett....So what is your backround and expertise that gives you the right to judge others decisions to help their chilren.Stigma remains alive and well in America with people like you.

[kenhamlett]

Several thoughts come to mind. Since psycho babble is only opinion, mine is better than theirs since I am not trying to make a buck off of the misfortune of others.
The first is that it is more likely that friction in the family inflames the behavior of the children and the shrink finds an opening manipulates the parents and victimizes the child. It is only ADHD in the mind of the quack.
Next the genetic link is a statistical link only. I found no research that says otherwise. Shrinks love statistics because they can be manipulated.
Third there is a more credible statistical link between the socalled ADHD and pesticides than there is to genetics.
Fourth, if the parents had a stable home life it would minimise the excessive odd behavior. Bear in mind that kids often exhibit odd behavior in the view of the adults but it is generally within a normal range.
Fifth, it does not matter what you call it since the shrinks can only drug the kid and have no idea how to fix the problem even in the rare event that there is a real problem.
Finally you must recall that shrinks are opportunists who love to victimize children. The have no answers only the desire for control and money. If you put a child (or anyone) in their hands you are creating a problem instead of solving one.

[barbaraf4]

The challenge of a child with a behavior disorder can be just as much of a strain on a marriage as the death of a child or the day to day care of a chronically ill child.

My niece had a brain tumor when she was 5. About three years into her recovery, my brother-in-law took off for Mexico with his 16 year old girl friend. It all goes back to the level of maturity of both parents.

[barbaraf4]

Posted by ljb6599: A great post. I suggest, and your post confirms, that a lot of this depends on the maturity of the parents. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with your daughter.

[hypnotoad72]

Posted by runningralph at 09:30 AM : Oct 25, 2008
--

Thank you for sharing. I too was classified ADHD* and had pretty much the same situation as you as a child. My parents are still together (40 years and still strong), though to be honest, they once accused me of using drugs. ((I had not. Never had, never will.))



* (which is true, as is the later diagnosis of Asperger''s Syndrome -- a condition not recognized in America in the 1970s)

[hypnotoad72]

It''s more likely people divorce because one initiated an argument over spilling some milk on the counter.

[runningralph]

I had Adhd myself as a child. I came up in the forties, and the name didn''t exist. The treatment at that time consisted of spanking and scolding. Teachers still used corporal punishment in those days. They told me to pay attention. My parents said the same thing and spanked me too. I finally outgrew it to some extent by playing high school football. I was small but tough. The big boys beat me up pretty bad but they couldn''t make me stop coming. The other kids didn''t like me but they accepted me as a screwball. I was happy with that. Pretty much the same role all through adult life. I never took drugs and my parents didn''t divorce. These kids need rough sports, not drugs.

[ljb6599]

Please walk a mile in our shoes.We have a wonderful daughter whom has AD/HD and she as taken medication along with therapy and extra help at school.She is now in 6th grade and is doing fairly well.Without medication it would be difficult for her to manage.She herself acknowledges that she needs the medication.Over the years it has been quite stressful but my wife and I try to stay on the same page and support each other.As a parent it is difficult to see your child struggle with learning and interpersonal relationships.We have seen friends come and go and some have been cruel and mean.It is especially harder as a parent when many refuse to believe that this condition exists.Please try to support parents whom are trying to raise a child with problems in a ignorant society.

[adt13t]

Big Pharm seeks to pathologize any volitionally
ill suited behavior and manipulate symptoms and
claim it''s new magic pill to be essential and
the cause to be "chemical imbalance" or the
latest escape from responsibilty "genetic"
it''s not your fault is a vast and profitable
excuse industry now being used to excuse
infantile consumption patterns and the
consequences of volitionally poor choice and sedentary behaviors-
lazy a/s/s primitive hocus pocus idiots
maybe they need to beg/pray more for the
magic wand treatment/therapy
it''s not your fault

[adt13t]

Another profitable whipping boy
by big pharma poisoning children
everywhere especially egregious
when a dysfunctional marriage by
un-united squabling siblings masquerading
as competent breeding adults cause their
otherwise genetically undisturbed progeny
to be cast out in whipping boy shame as the
reason for the split when in fact the other
way around - the child utilizes similar
spiritual defenses to self protect and
when the home life is dysfunctional due
to incompetent parenting we invite big
pharma to the "rescue"$$$ and wallah
diagnosed whipping boy hung out to dry

[shockolit]

Yep, I sure know where my grandson got his.

[mtkoren-2009]

I neglected to mention in my previous post that I am somewhat appalled that the writer of the article totally missed the genetic implication. And if it were not the writer''s doing, then the one being interviewed. Many ADHD parents do NOT realize they have it as the stigma has been large enough and the diagnosis missed that they function thinking it is normal to be the way they are, which would be true as an ADHD person, but not if they didn''t have the ADHD. Diagnosis is missed because ADHD takes many forms that are not hyperactive and just seem spacey, disorganized, distracted and so on, but otherwise very pleasant, able to focus (often better than their peers when they have to) and often quite the entertaining (in a good way) person! But reliability for time etc could drive their spouses nuts.

Anyhow a long way of saying that I think this article was not thorough enough and so it looks like the parents were untouched by ADHD in their own bodies or minds. If you have any doubt, look up books by Hallowell and Ratey. Both MD''s.

[mtkoren-2009]

I can''t believe the ignorance here - unless you''re just being sarcastic thinking it passes for being witty. ADHD often runs genetically in families. So if the child has difficulties chances are more likely that one, if not both, of the parents will also have ADHD-related issues. Taken together, it can be very hard on the non-ADHD parent.

For those of you who already commented or are looking at this, I can tell you from personal experience and seeing the research out there, that ADHD is also a blessing that touches the lives of some of our most creative citizens - whether artists or entrepreneurs. But this doesn''t make these people the easiest to live with.

Anyhow if you wish to blame the genetics do so, but don''t blame me if I suggest that people are probably looking at your behavior too, if you are prone to reacting that way.