Jackson, Wyoming, Sept. 18, 2008
The Passion of Dick Cheney
The Weekly Standard: Fishing The Snake River With The Vice President
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Vice President Dick Cheney (AP)
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Second In Command
A closer look at Vice President Dick Cheney's career and his much-publicized health problems.
At the risk of being publicly ridiculed, quarantined, or stoned, I'll just say it straightaway: I really like Dick Cheney. Don't get me wrong, I feel sick about it.
Not because I've ever held anything against the guy personally. In fact, many of the parts of Cheney's public persona that repel others, I rather enjoy. I've always liked his ruthless non-sentimentality in an age of lip-biters and tear-squirters. I like that you're never apt to hear him invoke "the children" as a reason for peddling some unrelated initiative. ("I'm not a baby kisser," he once said on the campaign trail.) I like that he doesn't seem to care about being liked, which is lucky for him, since his approval rating hovers at 18 percent. But let's just say I haven't cared for many of his signature projects as vice president. It is not for nothing that the wags suggest that Cheney keeps George W. Bush one heartbeat away from the presidency.
But Cheney is also known as a fisherman, and I am a fishing slut with little or no moral center.
Last September, I attended a book party on the roof of the Hay-Adams Hotel in Washington, D.C., which Cheney was to attend. I showed up early and, seeing there were two open bars, availed myself of both. By the time Cheney arrived, I had a bellyful of truth serum.
I made a beeline for him, squared up, looked him in the eye, and said, "I understand you're an avid fly-fisherman."
"Yes," he replied.
"So am I," I responded.
From there, we were off. We might've talked five minutes or we might've talked five hours. It's hard to recall now. Fishing-related happenings tend to occur outside of time. Herbert Hoover, a noted fly-fisherman, was fond of quoting an Assyrian proverb that went, "The gods do not subtract from the allotted span of men's lives the hours spent fishing." I believe the same is true of talking about fishing.
Cheney, a surprisingly attentive listener, asked as much as he answered. He was fascinated by an experiment I'd been conducting for some time: catching catfish on a fly. This isn't typically done, since catfish most often reject artificials. Many fly-fishermen recoil at such an ambition, since telling trout purists you're chasing lowly catfish with a fly rod is tantamount to telling Heidi Klum that what you're really attracted to is bearded women with no teeth. But Cheney evidenced genuine curiosity. Perhaps he sensed a kindred spirit. Remaking the Middle East as a Western democracy vs. chasing catfish on a fly--each of us is addicted to some pet implausibility.
He asked where I fish, and, when I gave generalities, he pressed for specifics. So much so that I was worried I might show up the next day to find the vice president taking largemouth in my favorite spot. So I lied slightly about the locales. You can't be too careful about such things.
As we talked, my wife sidled up to me, elbowing my ribs for an introduction. I told Cheney this was my fishing widow. He said hello to her and that he had one, too. We immediately resumed the fish-talk and ignored her. I was in good standing and hoping for an invite to fish his home river, the majestic Snake in Wyoming--an invitation I was convinced was forthcoming, but which never materialized after Cheney was interrupted and pulled away.
After our conversation, second thoughts started nagging. Maybe Cheney was misunderstood. Maybe he wasn't BeelzeDick or Darth Vader, as his critics would have it. How could someone who spends so much time seeking out beautiful creatures in beautiful places not have the sensitivity of a naturalist and the soul of a poet? (As I said, there were two open bars.)
A year after the book party, with time running out on the Bush administration, I took another crack at Cheney and proposed to his people that I go fishing with him on his preferred home water near his Wyoming residence, which turns out to be the South Fork of the Snake River. Though Cheney grants few interviews, his people were uncharacteristically agreeable. Perhaps it's because after eight years, they were just weary of saying "no." Perhaps it's because of the heartfelt piscatorial nature of the request.
While fishing doesn't occupy Cheney's every waking moment--according to his estimates, he only spends about 10-12 days a year on the water because of his job--it still takes up plenty of space in his consciousness. This I learn from visiting the library at his official residence at the Naval Observatory.
The shelves of his library contain the art books, histories, literature, and presidential and vice presidential material (including the complete works of Dan Quayle) that one would expect. But many of these are shelved high and out-of-reach. Most accessible, on the shelves above the television, is a fly-fishing library within a library, books on every subject from entomology to minor tactics of the chalk stream to practical dry-fly fishing.
All the greats are represented: Lee Wulff, Izaak Walton, G.E.M. Skues, Lefty Kreh, Roderick Haig-Brown, and the not-so-greats as well. There are lush, leather and gilt-edged collectibles with gorgeous frontispieces of men in tweeds casting bamboo rods on placid streams, and dog-eared paperbacks intended not for decoration, but to acquire hardcore fishing knowledge.
When I pull down an old volume of Ernest Schwiebert's classic Trout, I find discarded Hershey's mini-candy-bar wrappers behind where the books sit, perhaps from surreptitious snacking during a less health-conscious time in the now-trim Cheney's life (friends say he's lost around 25 pounds in the last year). In all, there are 37 fishing books on the shelves, and 43 more in stacks. This doesn't include whatever books he has in Wyoming or at his weekend place on Maryland's Eastern Shore. You can say many things about Dick Cheney that have no chance of leaving a mark. But say he fishes thoughtlessly, and one might wound him irreparably.
I learn from current and former aides just how obsessed the man whose Secret Service handle is "Angler" actually is. One directs me to a passage in Bob Woodward's Commanders, which tells how when Cheney was being confirmed for secretary of defense, he told his vetters in the first Bush administration that they should be aware of some "youthful indiscretions." He wasn't just referring to two drunk-driving arrests from over 25 years prior, but also the time he'd been fined for fishing out of season. Not a catch-and-release man back then (he tells me he hasn't killed a fish on purpose in roughly 15 years), "The $25 fine was not the worst part," he said. "They took my f--ing fish."
Another aide tells me that early on, those in the administration wishing to cut through the clutter of Cheney's daily barrage of mail would take to sticking flies in the envelopes knowing his staff would make sure he received them. I am told how he fishes in rain and snow, and how once his mind is set on fishing, he will not be deterred, even by bloodletting.
Former aide Brian McCormack, now special assistant to the president for strategic initiatives and external affairs, says several years ago Cheney took him fishing on a drift boat on the Snake River. Relatively new to the sport at the time, McCormack, trying to adjust his cast on a windy day, ended up hooking the vice president. "The hook did not set," says McCormack. "But it smacked him on the back of the neck. I don't know how exactly one describes a vice presidential yelp. He let out a 'yooooowwww.' The trees came alive with Secret Service. He leaned forward with a grimace, like he got stung by an enormous bee. I'm in the back of the boat saying, 'What the hell did I just do?' He turned around, and looked at me. I said, 'Sir, I am reeeaallly sorry.' He said, 'Don't worry. I've gotten it in the ear before.' And he just went on fishing."
According to those who fish with him, Cheney is also quite competitive on the river. When I ask his daughter Liz about this, she downplays it, speaking of his grandfatherly attributes: his teaching members of the family to fish so they can enjoy "the magnificent beauty of the places you get to do it," showing the grandchildren how to cast, rig their lines and remove their hooks. "I can't imagine a better, more patient guide or teacher."
His friends take an earthier view. "Is he competitive?" laughs Dick Scarlett, one of Cheney's closest friends and chairman of Wells Fargo, Wyoming. "Oh, I think so." Scarlett heads up a group of eight friends, including Cheney, who for over a decade have annually put in two days on the Bighorn River in Montana, before coming back to Jackson for a few more and then a two-day float down the South Fork, while camping overnight in the canyon.
The group calls itself "The Great Release," though Jay Kemmerer, a member and owner of the Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, originally pushed for "The Rainbow Coalition" (after rainbow trout, of course). The camp, nicknamed the South Fork Hilton, is hardly roughing it. On some of the most productive dry-fly trout water in the west, the camp contains wall-tents, cots, fresh linens and towels. There is wine and whisky (Cheney is a Johnny Walker Red man, though these days he rarely drinks more than a glass of wine). The Great Release even imports its own personal chef.
Everyone calls the vice president "Dick"--even the guides. Current events are often discussed, though there are no prosecutorial arguments, as his friends reason Cheney gets roughed up enough in the outside world. And there is lots of entertainment. In fact, there is an entertainment committee. While what goes on at the South Fork Hilton is supposedly cloaked under a code of silence, a few details are forthcoming.
There are skits, Kemmerer tells me, often with elaborate props. "We clearly tell the Secret Service what we're doing," says Kemmerer, "because some of it--well, they might shoot us." Cheney laughs readily as an observer at this campfire Friar's Roast/Gridiron Dinner and is open to the same ribbing as everybody else. Kemmerer says there have been hanging chads strewn about the grounds, and that he personally has played John Kerry and John Edwards.
Rich Santore, an orthopedic surgeon and chief of staff at Sharp Memorial Hospital in San Diego, became a member of the group after replacing Scarlett's hips. As one of the unofficial heads of the entertainment committee, he takes it even further. A couple of years ago, he had to buy a whole bunch of dresses, bras, panties, and such for skit-time at the South Fork Hilton. At the checkout line, after asking the clerk what dress size would be right for him, he felt compelled to tell her "It's not what you think." ("That's what they all say," said the clerk.) When I ask who on earth was being portrayed, Santore says he'd better not disclose. "Janet Reno?" I ask him, figuring she has even odds if drag is involved. "Well," he says reluctantly, "that was one."
By Matt Labash
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See all 76 CommentsI''m counting the days till he''s out of office and thus fair game for war crime trials for genocide around the world. He won''t be able to find a hole deep enough to hide in.
And the Weakly wants more of the McSame.
Too bad about all those guys Dik got killed or maimed with his lies.
Risk my a$$! He did just what Massah tell time to. By Massah I mean the international corporate elite who owns and operates Dik "5-deferments" Cheney.
Here''s a quote for Mr. Cheney to ponder, if he has the guts:
"Sometimes I live in the city,
sometimes I live in the town.
Sometimes I get me a great notion,
to jump in the river and drown."
After all, Al Capone domnated millions to charity and it was Adolf Hitler who championed the "People''s car", later to be known as Volkswagen. Mussolini streamlined a chaotic Italian government and Fidel Castro dramatically raised living standards for Cuba''s poorest and most vunerable citizens. All four were unequivocal monsters.
By his words and his actions, and the transparent motivation for both, Mr. Cheney has demonstrated he comes as close to the ultimate in pernicious, chaotic evil as it is possible to get and still remain mortal. He may not be worse than any of the others I have mentioned above, but he is certainly not noticably better.
D@mmed spellchecker, anyway. I meant, "Al Capone donated..."
Posted by BagdadsHere4
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Missing accomplished
The indolence and incapacity of Stultus Dumus the Younger being clearly unequal to the burdens of the supreme office, a lieutenant was sought who could stiffen his resolve, supply his want of energy and ensure that the designs of the Oligarchs were unrelentingly advanced. Appointed to preside over the selection of this lieutenant, Imbustus Vulturinus was a longtime servitor whose loyalty to the House of Dumus was cemented by criminal guilt in a lengthy sequence of misdeeds (Journandes, op. cit., p. 103). Well ensconced in the Oligarchy, Vulturinus was nimble in the hydrocarbon fuel extraction industry; had profited immensely from his dealings with the artificers of hyper lethal weapons and had served the officials of the Hegemon whenever a deft lie or low stratagem was required. A secretive nature presented the appearance of quiet probity; and the affectation of piety supported an imaginary rectitude. But every sentiment of virtue and humanity was extinct in the mind of Vulturinus. After inspecting a series of candidates, he concluded rightly that none were his equal in the arts of rapacious cruelty. Whereupon, Imbustus Vulturinus elevated himself to chief lieutenant, tutor, guardian and keeper of Dumus the Younger.
Cheney is such an underhanded sleeze !
More important, however, the river is thick with trout--browns and cutthroats, rainbows and hybrid cutbows--about 7,000 fish per mile. "
This just in--oil has been discovered in Jackson Hole.
Get those west Colorado drill rats in there right now!
I''m sure Dik won''t mind them drilling in his backyard in Teton Village--if the private security will let them in.
He''s so concerned that the oil companies make enough money.
You are jealous.
*** is very smart.
Have to give him credit.
I''d vote for him before, Socialist Obama.
November 5th they will wakeup with nasty hangover.
Posted by BagdadsHere4 at 04:38 PM : Sep 18, 2008
Hahahaha you''re such a good little cult member.
Bush and Cheney don''t give a RA about the "welfare", "democracy" or "freedom" of any people or country--
Their agenda is Haliburton, oil and money--at the expense of anyone but themselves.
We had no business going to Iraq--Bush swears they are "better off" now--yeah except 600,000 civilian Iraqis are dead and over 2 million are displaced--sure they''re better off.
He sounds like his snot of a mother saying the people in New Orleans were better off at the sports arena and it was probably a better place than where they came from.
Exile these people to the North Pole let Mama Bush live in an igloo---serves her right!
And I really don''t like *** Cheney.
Posted by BagdadsHere4
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WHAT DID WE WIN????????????????????
''Everyone calls the vice president '' DlCK ''--even the guides.''
Everyone except the posters on CBS...
You should crawl back under your rock!
Posted by BagdadsHere4
The Iraqi civil war we started by going into Iraq has been damped down now so we can leave.
The Afganistan war, the true war, is still going, badly the media says.
The terrorists have gone elsewhere in the world where there aren''t troops and while you tout that the US hasn''t had a terrorist attack since 9/11 (but what a whopper 9/11 was!), the rest of the planet, like London and Australia, can''t say the same.
Lucky Australia''s intelligence was paying attention and caught their plot BEFORE it took place.
Oh yes...the war is over, a war is over, one war is over.
The democrat war is afganistan.
What''s the difference?
Is that NOT within striking distance of Iran.
Iran is the ral target baby!
We should smoke them!
How can liberals support Islam.
Liberal''s hate Ameicia like Islam.
There are skits, Kemmerer tells me, often with elaborate props. "We clearly tell the Secret Service what we''re doing," says Kemmerer, "because some of it--well, they might shoot us." Cheney laughs readily as an observer at this campfire Friar''s Roast/Gridiron Dinner and is open to the same ribbing as everybody else. Kemmerer says there have been hanging chads strewn about the grounds, and that he personally has played John Kerry and John Edwards. "
Aaah, the playground of the disgustingly wealthy and the well-kept secret fun of the powerful. Playtime for them, while real Americans, who work through their vacations, pay the minimums on credit card debt, and feel grateful for a night out at the local bar, are the taxpayers that footing the bill.
Isn''t that what we taxpayers are here for, serfs at work to pay for *** Cheney''s amusements, to increase his wealth at the pumps, and send him off on full pension to retire after 8 successful years of serving his base...er, his country? Dems and Reps alike should revile the man.
Posted by republic1776 at 06:22 PM : Sep 18, 2008
Liberals support freedom of religion as stated in the US Constitution.
You can warp those words any way you wish. There is always a way to twist even the most sacred of truths, this should be self-evident. :)
The Repugs deserve an a$$-whuppin just for sticking us with 8 years of that cockroach.
Grab your ankles Repugs--some JUSTICE is about to be dealt to you!
Last night Sarah Palin told Sean Hannity that she''d asked her daughters whether or not she ought to accept McCain''s VP offer before she decided to join the ticket. But according to her husband, that''s not true.
So Phil Gramm, John McCain''s supposedly banished economic guru and campaign chairman, has been seeking Ron Paul''s endorsement.
Paul''s answer?
Not in a million years.
No Islam goes against the Constitution!
It don''t want rights for women.
I CANNOT cover my face and drive or even walk down the street.
Why can a woman of Islam do this?
He''s is the Boss.
She has been out of media.
Vote Obama if you want a Racist, Socialist, Communist
Palin and Cheney love cover-ups. Troopergate is an excellent example. Albeit, Troopergate sounds like a bad soap opera, but McCain is doing everything he can to quash the investigation. According to NBC''s Keith Olberman (Sept 17). Palin fired Public Safety Commissioner becaue he went over her head and planned a trip to Washington to get federal funds to combat rape and help rape victims. Considering that Alaska''s rate of sexual assault is 2 1/2 times the national average, one would think federal funds were needed. But Sarah says no, and when somebody does something Sarah doesn''t like she gets revenge and covers it up.
Any way if Cheney wants sockeye salmon in Bristol Bay Alaska, he''d better get there fast. Thanks to Palin the Pebble gold and copper mine can dump toxic wastes into the Bristol Bay watershed and the whole salmon fishery may get wiped out.
Hey, since I like salmon, Palin might even be worse than Cheney
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