Nannies: Hiring And Firing Tips

The Early Show Nanny Series Continues With Advice On Being Assertive In Negotiation And Termination

(CBS)  This week on The Early Show it's all about nannies - from how to find one to how to use them effectively. Today we are talking about one thing that every family who has a nanny has had to deal with - how to hire them and how to let them go.

Bethany Sirt, Director of Public Relations for Sittercity.com and Dana Points, Editor in Chief of Parents magazine have suggestions for how to assert yourself with courtesy in both negotiation and termination.

It's tough to know how to hire and fire someone as important in your life as a nanny. Sure they are an employee and should be treated as such, but these are the people who are going to be handling your most precious cargo and act as another member of your family.

It can be uncomfortable once you have gotten to know someone during the interview process to assert yourself and get exactly what you want. As for firing, whether it's for reasons such as a transfer or move, or something frightening and upsetting -- it can be hard to know how to do it right and to maintain your piece of mind.

Hiring A Nanny - Negotiating Pay

OK, you have finally decided to make a firm offer to the nanny you have been interviewing. What's most important now? Dana Points says it is to know your number.

Talk it over with your spouse -- what can you afford? What is the least you want to pay (keep in mind these people are taking care of your children!), and what is the most you can afford? When walking into negotiations do not start with your top number. Negotiate from a lower number but do not insult them. Keep in mind, that these people should be treated as you would want to be treated by an employer. They deserve respect and they deserve fair pay. Nickel and diming is NOT THE WAY YOU WANT TO GO HERE. Also, before you offer know whether you are offering straight take home or whether you are offering to pay taxes for your nanny. Talk to your tax attorney honestly and get advice.

Next point -- do your research. Talk to other families in your neighborhood. Talk to other nannies. Keep in mind that NANNIES TALK TO EACH OTHER. So if you are low-balling your nanny in salary they will find out. You cannot do too much research on salary. Everything you learn will serve to make you a better educated employer.

Negotiating Duties

Like the salary negotiations, it's important to know what you want from your nanny before you start to negotiate your duties. How important is a clean house to you? Is it important to you that the nanny do dishes? Cook? Drive? Do laundry? Just your kids' laundry or laundry for the family? Try to keep in mind when making these decisions that each of these duties take time. How much time do you want the nanny to spend on housework vs. kids alone? Is your house a non smoking house? Is that a deal breaker for you? Think about what you want from a nanny -- figure out the base hours and stick to it.

Put it in writing. When things get tense between you and your nanny, it's nice to know that you defined the nanny's duties in writing so you have something to refer back to. Caught your nanny having a drink on the job? If it's number three on the list then you know you have it in writing and it becomes fireable. Nanny tells you that she is sorry she is late for the 20th time? It's in writing, punctuality is key. Keep in mind though, you need to have respect for the nanny when making out the duties. If the nanny is working from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. every day, make sure not to be late too often. That's a long day for someone -- and coming home on time is an important sign of respect.

Firing Your Nanny -- Letting Go Of Your Nanny For Natural Causes

Letting go of someone is never easy and it's always slightly uncomfortable. But if you find yourself in a position to let someone go for natural reasons such as work transfer, kids are too old or are starting full-time school, you could find yourself in the position of firing your nanny. There are no personal reasons here, just a necessary decision. In cases such as these, be courteous. This person is a member of the family so give them what they would want to feel better. Perhaps offer some severance (again know your number ahead of time), give proper notice. Offer to call other families with a recommendation.

Think of how you would like to be let go from a job like this and make sure the nanny has a way to explain to the kids what is happening and to say goodbye.

Firing Your Nanny -- Firing Your Nanny For Serious Reasons

This is a situation no one wants to find themselves in -- you don't like your nanny or she isn't following the house rules and you have to let her go.

First of all, this is where the WRITTEN list of duties will come in handy. They will back you up as reasons to fire someone so have a copy standing by. Make sure you are clear, concise and quick. For instance, "Mary, we told you on our list that smoking in the house was non-negotiable. You have disregarded this and therefore we cannot keep you on."

It's also not a bad idea to NOT be alone in the room during this process of firing. You want to make sure that this conversation does not get ugly and if it does you don't want anything inappropriate or actionable being said.

GET YOUR KEYS BACK. Make sure you make that part of the firing. Ask for them right away. Ask if that is the only copy they have. Get your car keys back as well.

HAVE A BACKUP SOLUTION. Do not let your nanny go unless you have a backup nanny, or have cleared your own schedule. Someone is going to have to pick the kids up from school and get their lunch ready and unless you are ready to do it, you should have someone standing by to cover you during the transition.

Finally, and this is a decision every family should make for themselves -- decide whether or not you are going to let the nanny say goodbye to your kids. If you are not comfortable with it get them out quickly and explain it to your kids yourself. If you do, perhaps you want to be there when they do.

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Part 1: Pay And Benefits

[bestnanny]

It is often much more difficult for nannies to negotiate. It would be great to hear more of caregiver input in these discussions. Best Nanny Newsletter developed ways to help nannies negotiate. Caregivers should ask for annual performance reviews in writing. The work agreement should be as specific as possible including: weekly hours, day of week paid, salary, benefits, curfew for live-in nannies, how to resolve issues with the parents,housework, and much more. Standard benefits to offer nannies include:paid vacation(2 wk minimum; paid Federal holidays: New Years Day, Memorial Day, July 4, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas;paid sick and personal days;and mileage(which is required by law). Standard benefits include maternity leave,(offer three months non-paid maternity leave)and health insurance benefits.
Our monthly poll found health insurance benefits are very important to 72% of in-home caregivers. 40% stau at jobs just to keep health insurance coverage. 57% would consider health insurance instead of raise. Health benefits are not taxed.
Other health benefits include a Health Reimbursement Account or a Health Savings Account. They are tsx exempt.Other benefits to offer nannies include: a mobile phone and usage; a car to drive for personal use;and apartment rent. If the nanny does not use the vacation, sick, or personal days then the nanny may cash them out at the end of the year.

[careernanny]

It''s wonderful that you are focusing on these important issues regarding quality child care but it is disappointing that you are using resources that have been around short term instead of companies that have been in this industry for decades and it is also disappointing to see that the professional nannies have had no input into these discussions. Professional nannies are educated intelligent women who can offer insight and information instead of being treated as if they don''t have the ability to speak for themselves.
I hope that at some point this week you will also offer some tips on how parents can support and encourage their nannies to improve their skills and education through the many professional organizations geared toward the nanny profession.

[lcooper45]

I am so happy that finally someone is educating parents on the dos and don''ts of this unique situation for jobs.Most of all establishing boundaries. So often it seems as though it is whatever someone wants to ask the nanny to do, and that is what the job is when it is not. I especially like the part about thinking about how you will feel in the same position and the part about respect for time on both sides

[kriskanoski]

First I was really happy that you were doing this special series Nanny State. I have to tell you that I am so disappointed now. I have been a professional nanny for twenty years. I get so tired of people interchaging nanny and babysitter. They are not the same. A baby sitter is just someone who comes occasionally to watch your children, like the teenager down the street. A babysitter has no child care background, education or professional experiences. I do not know too many 14 year olds who have contracts with their neighbors for vacation time and paid sick days. Please do not interchange these nannies. Being a nanny is a profession. Just like being a T.V. reporter, because you are just like the reporters from TMZ or Talk Soup right?

[nannyagency]

As the owner of a Nanny Agency for 24 years, I strongly object to representing any on line job listing service, such as SitterCity, as a nanny agency. I am hoping that you will have nanny agencies on during this series as we are the real experts in the field of recruiting and screening nannies. We are the experts at advising parents how to hire the best, most qualified nanny, how to retain a great nanny as well as being an advocate for professional nannies and the nanny industry. We are more than an unfiltered data base where information is gathered by the applicant submitting their own profile, with tips for the web site as to what to say to attract families and previous families posting a undocumented reviews. The time, talent and "heart" the best nanny agencies put into qualifying their candidates cannot in any way match what an on line listing service does.

[nannyagency]

As the owner of a Nanny Agency for 24 years, I strongly object to representing any on line job listing service, such as SitterCity, as a nanny agency. I am hoping that you will have nanny agencies on during this series as we are the real experts in the field of recruiting and screening nannies. We are the experts at advising parents how to hire the best, most qualified nanny, how to retain a great nanny as well as being an advocate for professional nannies and the nanny industry. We are more than an unfiltered data base where information is gathered by the applicant submitting their own profile, with tips for the web site as to what to say to attract families and previous families posting a undocumented reviews. The time, talent and "heart" the best nanny agencies put into qualifying their candidates cannot in any way match what an on line listing service does.

[caregiver7]

Dear Morning: I was appalled to hear the comparison of an online nanny service to actual nanny companies.I actively work for a real nanny service. We require a minimum of 2 years verifiable experience, a face to face interview,CPR,First Aid,Attendance of our orientation/training class,passing of our test. Than a federal,county,abuse & social security trace. We provide quarterly trainings that are mandatory.Being a parent myself I urge anyone looking for a nanny to heed cautiously when abtaining care for your most cherished.

Mary Tamn Himeur
Attentive Care Inc
811 Church road,Suite 215
Cherry Hill,NJ 08002
800-493-5660