Read My Lips: No More Lipstick Cracks

With All This Campaign Talk About Pigs, Bob Schieffer Suggests Some Other Animal References

(CBS)  Weekly commentary by CBS Evening News chief Washington correspondent and Face the Nation host Bob Schieffer.

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If you were watching the campaign this week, you might have thought it had come down to a debate over pigs that wear lipstick.

I never saw a pig wearing lipstick, nor do I know anyone who tried to put lipstick on a pig - or give one a manicure, for that matter.

But if this campaign is going to be about animals in the news, here are some helpful references that I offer to whichever side wants them.

If a candidate looks frazzled, describe him as "looking like a horse that was rode hard and put away wet." I got that from a guy I used to work with here.

If it comes down to one of those "what if" situations, try the old bullfrog parable: "If bull frogs had side pockets they'd carry six shooters and wouldn't be afraid of snakes."

Or this one: "If the dog hadn't stopped to use the phone he would have caught the rabbit."

If a candidate gets stage fright during the coming debates, his opponent could charge him with being "as nervous as a cat in a roomful of rocking chairs."

Being from Alaska, Governor Palin probably knows this one: "Unless you're the lead dog pulling the sled, the scenery is the same wherever you go." I have no idea how to use that but it does present an interesting word picture.

I hope the candidates find these suggestions handy. On the other hand, they may find my suggestions "as useful as socks on a rooster." But no matter.

I just think we need to get past the debate on lipstick. It's just so, well, cosmetic.

If you don''t like what we say about Wasilly Sarah, you can "eat my grits." Personally, I''m tired of lipstick and ready for dipstick.

[clovisbuford]

I say the argument from the LEFT that Mc Cain would not be around as President is NOT ONLY disrespectful to a hero and to our seniors BUT also mean-spirited , naive and plain stupid .
Posted by alohaone1 at 11:06 PM : Sep 15, 2008
So how do you feel about the right wing religious nut jobs urging imprecatory prayer on Mccain. That their supporters should vote for Mccain/Palin then through the power of prayer call for his demise . use google and search imprecatory prayer with either candidates name that one should make you question who you are siding with. If you look at the actuary tables used by you know those big multinational insurance co. and with Mccain having had melanoma 4 times and his age , it is something to think about,.I wouldn''t change my vote if I thought him the best candidate based on that, but then I was not going to support him anyhow .

[clovisbuford]

err that would be 70% of Americans not 870% of Americans , that sounded like the math in Mccain''s tax plan

[clovisbuford]

he NBC CBS and MSNBC''''''''s are mad that real Americans will decide for themselves.
Hillarious !!
Love ya Sarah !!!
Posted by freeanswers at 05:33 PM : Sep 16, 2008
Yeah cause the 870% of Americans that dont identify themselves as republicans are not real Americans either , or indeed e en the people who work at NBC ,MSNBC, etc. Why old Bob Shieffer cant be an American either he often disagrees with my side .
freeanswers I got another couple of texas saying for you . on your intimation that if they don''t agree with you they aren''t "real Americans" ,in TX wesay"that dog won''t hunt" as for Ms. Palin, like GW, she is charming but on a lot of issues she is "all hat and no cattle"and lastly to paraphrase Jim Hightower, when ignorance gets to be a $100 a barrel I want drilling rights on your head.

[westtexas8]

So, with the greatest of respect, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig. Here is one more little old saying from rural Texas in reference to the entire
debacle of focusing on poor little Sarah''s feelings-
it just fries my bacon. Feel free to use to as often as you like.

[westtexas8]

I am Texas woman, as such I am seldom offended by the
homilies often used in speaking nor do the labels of others impact my thought processes.Frankly,the latest round of outrage over homilies has rung hollow. What has not rang my bell is the information I have been able to gather from the McCain/Palin website( in typical Texas fashion while I have a party I just have to check both sides out. It is that history of being able to make decisions on my own taught by my Father,a Texan by birth, right down to the ground.)
If McCain/Palin hold office families earning under 250k a year can expect tax relief of around $400.00.
That would be my tax bracket. I am not energized yet.
If McCain/Palin get elected my health insurance, provided by my employer as a retiree, will become taxable income. I have very good health insurance. If this benefit costs the company $1000.00 a month, $12,000.00 year, this money will be taxed at $500.00 increments ,pushing me into an even higher tax bracket.Even with the $5000.00 tax deduction, and as of now it looks as if I will have no access to this deduction, I will be taxed even more than I am at present. Plus, I will have nothing to show for this money as I have yet to agree on how McCain/Palin want to spend it. In addition to this, based on the Health Act signed into 2006 those who hold stock dividends that equal 2 % of the company stock will be able to purchase insurance and write the dollar amount off at 100%.

[noloyalisti]

Yes, no more jokes like Palin, more ignorant white trash. No more fraudulent elections, so common in fascist countries like America. No more attacks on the American people like 911, set up by the government, to frighten them into submission. No more buying the government by big oil corporations, like Nazi Germany.

Enough!!!!!!

[caldwellptr]

What a cosmetic Presidential race!

[ashmaya]

I do not watch cbsnews on a regular basis, for this reason. I find that most of your news persons are friends of the GOP and most of your (News) comments about the election borders on race issues. The GOP are making demands of the two most popular black people in this country, that leaves a bad taste in all who can read between the lines. McCain is demanding of Obama townhalls, because he believes this is the best platform for him. Palin and the GOP women are demanding Winfrey have her on, because, she could reach the number of woman they want. If this was truely for any reason other than race, then the demand would be that she be on shows that are solely about the topics, such as Katie, Bob, George and others. CBS and it''s corp are lobbists for the GOP. If the GOP had strong candidates these demands would not be made, and they should be carefull what they wish for and the outcome they receive. We demand the best and brightest at the top, just not for the GOP.

[alohaone1]

You know , when Hillary compared Obama with RFK , they were calling for her head for wishing ill for Obama , implying that Obama may be harmed by some extreme nutjobs the way RFK was . NOw , the Dems seem to be wishing that John Mc cain , an American hero , would drop dead right after the election , and they are getting away with it . It is gross injustice and bizzare bias on the part of the media . Ask yourselves , how many people you know are over 72 years old ??? Ronald Reagan won his second term when he was 73 years old and defeated the Soviet Union and the much younger Govbachev . So , With Mc Cain''s clean bill of health recently and with his mom''s gene who was 92 years old , I say there is nothing to be worried about John Mc Cain . And talk about judgement , the older Mc Cain has shown us that he , indeed , is wiser than Obama in his support for the Surge which is a tremendous success and with his pick of Sarah Palin as VP who changes the dynamics of the race overnight . Obama , on the other hand, showed poor judgement in passing over Hillary , who even his running mate Joe Biden admitted would had been a better pick . Of course , anything can happen to anyone at any moment . Crossing a street is not 100% safe after all. But barring unforseeable accident that can befall anyone , I say the argument from the LEFT that Mc Cain would not be around as President is NOT ONLY disrespectful to a hero and to our seniors BUT also mean-spirited , naive and plain stupid .

[ez2rock2]

Why are we all acting like McCain has had a stroke? Or worse. Why are we talking about a vice presidential candidate instead of the presidential candidate? Is this by design? Or, do we all believe McCain is too old, too ill, too out of touch, to handle the responsibilities of the most stressful job in the world? I don''t think McCain is dead. Why doesn''t he just "man-up" and take over the limelight? Or, am I really missing something here?

[gaye5]

It is a wonder that Americas ever get along together, two years of campaigning sure divides a country and hatreds fly high, thank goodness Australia only campaigns for about six weeks... Name calling, hatred, insults, fighting, trillions spent on each campaign person while others are so poor that they can hardly live, sure sounds like it is a great way to run a country..
How does America every run itself.

[noloyalisti]

I don''t know where you get the 85.5% of the time. It sounds like a made up number. I do know that there is very little that a progressive Senator would have in common with Bush and McCain when it comes to telecom immunity and illegal spying, Patriot Act, the GI Bill, torture against our treaties, Bush''s awful appointments as attorney general, Supreme Court and other incompetent appointments.

[tilley12-2009]

lanawonders, when Gov. Palin made her lipstick comment, it was meant as a joke. It wasn''t even a part of her speech. Just a joke, thats all it was.

[tilley12-2009]

I thought it was interesting that when Sen. Obama made his lipstick/pig comment, if you noticed the crowd behind him and their reaction, they knew exactly what/whom he was referring to.

[jayfl11]

For all these "voted for Bush" 90% of the time I have two questions: What legislature did the President present so that someone could vote for it? (Presidents cannot present legislation nor can they vote on legislature, so you can''t vote "with" the President) If 95% of the legislature that passes in the Senate passes unanimously, does that mean that Senator Obama voted for President Bush 85.5% of the time?

[noloyalisti]

McSame''s "experience" is making ALL the wrong calls for the American people. He voted with McBush 90% of the time (some "maverick"). He voted against the GI Bill to Support the Troops. He is a war-monger whose temper cannot be trusted around nukular weapons. He is equal to Bush except with a bad temper and senility coming on.

[noloyalisti]

I think all progressives and Democrats should right now start ignoring this lipstick. Palin is just a Rovian distraction from 4 more years of McSame. We need to talk about Obama versus John, they are the ones running for pResident. Time to say nothing more about Palin and focus on the issues.

[bonmonde]

You call Obama a musilin, which he is NOT, but it is OK for us to bankrupt our country, sacrifice the lives of 4500 of our young men and women, and mame tens of thousands more to bring democracy to a MUSLIM country!

[talkingham]

You fricking hypocrite Schieffer. It''s perfectly OK to use the phrase as recently as May of this year as long as you are John McCain or any other Republican but the moment a Democrat uses the phrase it''s suddenly a national issue of sexism.

Meanwhile you and rubber stamp news team sit there and let Palin lie about her oppostion ot the bridge to nowhere as well as her fabrication of the "pipline to nowhere" that doesn''t exist and may never exist. Just like you allowed Rove to dominate the news cycle leading up tot he lies to get us into Iraq you''re going to sit there and watch the lies spewed out by the Republicans so we get another 4-8 years of economic and leadership failure.

Thanks for you panty-weight editorial.