Nightmare On Dem Street

National Review: The Clintons Are Back And Will Speak At The Democratic Convention

(National Review Online)  This column was written by Jonah Goldberg.

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For months now people have been saying to me, “Do you really think they’re gone?” “Is it finally over?” “Is the coast clear?”

The questions have been in response to Barack Obama’s supposedly yeoman service in putting an end to the Clintons in public life.

My response to those who believe our long national nightmare is over has always been: “Have you seen no monster movies?”
Freddy Krueger always comes back. Jason re-emerges from the pond one more time. Dracula had so many comebacks; nobody was surprised to see him hanging with Abbott and Costello.

Of course the Clintons will be back.

If the monster-movie thing is too offensive for you Clinton voluptuaries out there, think of it like this: They’re like Richard Gere in “An Officer and a Gentleman” (who, coincidentally, is hounded by a charismatic black dude but never gives up). They’ve got no place else to go.

And I was right. The Clintons are back. The coffin lid has sprung open, the seal of the crypt has been broken, the mutant virus has escaped the lab. Both Clintons will speak at the Democratic convention, and Hillary will get her I-told-you-so’s.

In the horror flicks, it’s not that the creatures are impervious to damage, it’s that no matter how much you hack them up, they seem to come back again. And again. And again. The Clintons have been horribly damaged, but they press on.

Bill Clinton is no supernatural serial killer - faint praise to most, too generous to a few. But he does have this juggernaut-like way of getting where he wants to be. One of his special powers is superhuman passive-aggressiveness. When recently asked if Obama was qualified to be president, Clinton responded, “You can argue that nobody is ready to be president.” Pressed again about Obama’s qualifications to be president, Clinton explained, “I never said he wasn’t qualified. The Constitution sets qualification for the president. And then the people decide who they think would be the better president.”

Bill could have really added some oomph to that endorsement if he’d only been willing to concede that Obama is a carbon-based life form meeting the minimal requirements defined by scientists for sentient life.

But that’s a lot to expect from the surrogate-in-chief for the Hillary Clinton campaign. At least that’s the impression one gets from the beautiful corpse, or rather beautiful autopsy of the corpse, on display over at The Atlantic. Like Richard Dreyfuss in “Jaws” (“This was no boating accident!”), reporter Joshua Green picks through the internal e-mail viscera of the Clinton campaign and finds that the destructive nature of the Clintons is not always aimed at their enemies.

Indeed, shocking as this may be to people naive enough to believe that a woman with no executive experience, no security clearance, no significant successes under her belt, who was catapulted to presidential prominence solely because her husband treated her like a cautionary tale in a country-music song, was nonetheless a co-president for eight years: It turns out that the Bride of Clintonstein was an awful chief executive. Infected by her husband’s passive-aggressiveness, she stood paralyzed as the HMS Hillary took on more and more water, until even the string quartet on the deck was leaping for the flotation devices.

As Green pulls memo after memo from the great white’s carcass like so many Florida license plates, we discover that the Clintons knew long, long ago that they couldn’t beat Barack Obama to the nomination. But winning was secondary, carnage was king. You might even say of her decision to stay in the race: This was no polling accident.

The Clintons adopted a deliberate strategy of diminishing Obama’s victories, and Mark Penn, Clinton’s trusted campaign manager, pushed for a strategy of ridiculing their black, funny-named opponent as insufficiently American. Such memos, if found in the underbelly of a Republican campaign, would be immortalized by the liberal establishment as permanent proof of conservative racism. When plucked from the bowels of a Democratic campaign, the response is some mild tsk-tsking.

But fixating on the plot is never a good idea with monster flicks. The point is that the story is always the same. And so it is this time as well. Bill and Hillary are back. And forever more, Barack Obama won’t be able to take a shower without fear of that curtain snapping back, as a woman - or is that a man? - prepares to plunge the knife into his back.

[meek33]

So I heard John McCain met with T. Boon Pickens this morning
and it seems that McCain will be adopting the Pickens Plan?
I wonder if a vice president Pickens is in the works.
http://www.boonepicken.com

[sparks224]

I hope president Obama gives them both cabnet level positions.
I''d love to watch the right-wing nut job''s heads explode.

[sparks224]

I hope president Obama gives them both cabnet level positions.
I''d love to watch the right-wing nut job''s heads explode.

Nightmare On RepubliTard Street

[wogerwabbit]

The neocons are sounding meaner and more desperate all the time. I think Freud would have a field day with this article.

[wellhell3]

I''ve never seen such a bunch of bigoted old goats so scared of one woman!

The DNC Convention will either be a big CHARADE of unity *****, or it will be a floor fight!

Hillary''s supporters have DEMANDED and DEFIED the DNC to do what is right FOR A CHANGE!

It''s still the most ABSURD IDIOCY that Hillary Clinton had to NEGOTIATE with Obscamma over this! I mean, the is the DNC Convention NOT an Obscamma rock star ''I AM GOD'' Convention!

[imnho]

Security clearances are tied to the job. If she we elected to the office she would get the clearance. The whole act of running for the office means that you are going to get vetted by the public.

[PacificGatePost]

There is an undeniable force that shouldn%u2019t be discounted and should be appreciated.

Hillary Clinton knows her game, and her experience is paying off.

http://pacificgatepost.blogspot.com/2008/08/obamas-negotiating-weak-or-inept.html

[veteran188]

The real nightmare on the street called America will

be another four years of GW Bush through his minion

John McBushCain

[veteran188]

and listen please one more time you nutjob''s

Hillary is not running for president any longer

get over it and do something about the anti american

criminals called conservatives

[observantx]

This reminds me of the alternate explanation of the Relativity theory.

When your relatives are visiting, time slows W-A-Y down.

I fear this is what the convention is going to be like.

Why can''t the Clintons let it go?

Are they genetically incapable of doing what''s best for the country?

If this gets to be a nomination fight, it will only fuel the McCain camp and result in another 4 years of Absolute Disaster.

I used to think the Clintons were OK . but now, I''m beginning to wonder. Are they out for the nomination despite the fact that it will mobilize the Repugnican base to the nth degree?

So shallow and so self serving.

Someone once wrote A people deserve the government they get.

God help us

[irliberal]

Jonah Goldberg wrote: "The Clintons are back. The coffin lid has sprung open, the seal of the crypt has been broken, the mutant virus has escaped the lab..."

I say:

I''m amazed that with all the things to write about Obama, McSame and the election that you would choose your petty spite of the clintons to waste your ink. Then again, you''re a republican, so ideology trumps logic, usefulness, meaning and anything that can even remotely be construed as positive.

Waste of skin you are, Jonah Goldberg.

[iknownothin3]

The Dems are working very hard to give us 4 more years of
GWB. You get what you VOTE fore

[ajmarine111]

Did anyone hear that there will be no speech from Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton at the convention, but Chelsea Clinton will be giving a speech.

What''s up with that?

[paris1969]

Jonah Goldberg was probably wearing panties as he wrote this ... it must be fun for him to write trash like this while he waits for his double-dose of viagra to kick in ... and his blow-up date to fill up with hot air!

[qpublic]

Sounds like you liberals are all a little worked up about this whole thing. As if it''s a shock to your system to find out who the Clintons really are. And your hi pitched whinning about anything to suggest Obama is a light weight (certainly not light skinned though, as you can tell by the Clinton campaign memos).

[Michael Arnold]

Personally, this show is going to be great! The King & Queen of White Trash are BACK!

[jmurrieta1]

The real nightmare will be for the Repugs in St. Paul, when the rapidly aging McCain must trot out a VP candidate who can be perceived as someone who could carry on should McCain''s cancer get worse.

But all McCain has done is stir up a hornet''s nest with his lack of faith in a complete ban on abortion, or his possible choice of a person who''s religion isn''t approved of by the rabid bible-thumper WASPies, or the difficulty of finding any Repug who doesn''t stink of Bush.

No wonder so many Repugs are staying away from the Minnesota convention. You got your smart rats, you got your dumb rats, and you got your dead rats. Repugs are running scared they''ll all be seen as dead rats.

[skyk-2009]

Sounds like you liberals are all a little worked up about this whole thing. As if it''''s a shock to your system to find out who the Clintons really are. And your hi pitched whinning about anything to suggest Obama is a light weight (certainly not light skinned though, as you can tell by the Clinton campaign memos).

Posted by qpublic at 10:57 PM : Aug 15, 2008

Strange but I didn''t read that at all. Didn''t you take your required Reading Class in school? Or are you just another dead head Neocon who has NOTHING else but the same tired old lines you''ve been using for 30 years! LOL

[renojmc]

I like the comparison between Freddy Krueger and the Clintons. By their vile support of abortion, they too have been responsible for the death of many innocent lives. They are indeed a nightmare, but so is Obama.

Thank God Obama is dropping in the polls so fast he needs a parachute. The American voters a getting to know him better and really don''t like what they see. McCain will win in November!

[jmurrieta1]

Of course the Clintons will speak at the convention! Only a right wing version of "Pravda" like the NRO would think otherwise. Bill Clinton, a two-term successful president, is a senior figure in the Dem party. Hillary, who may yet be president in the future, clearly is a major leader.

Only a Fascist spindoctor would think otherwise.

And the Rush Limpdink dittoheads pretending to be Hillary supporters are a hoot! We''re on to you! Hope you get that new washing machine as a prize from the McCain campaign for trotting out the party line in your postings. That''s all they''re good for.

[bluestardad]

ANOTHER AIPAC MEMBER DUEL PASSPORT HOLDING ISRAELI AMERICA SLAMMING THE DEMOCRATS! KNOWING THAT THEY WILL STOP OUR INVOLVEMENT IN THE MIDDLE EAST!

[old300d]

The lefty lefts and the righty rights hate the Clintons ! Kind of makes me like them !

Obama = Rush !

[old300d]

Who has spend the most time telling lies about the Clintons ? Obama or Rush ?

The Dems are sooooooooo dumb !

[old300d]

The Dems think they understand Rush !

Obama is his pick ! ! !

[wogerwabbit]

Let''s compare Clinton''s presidency to Bush''s.

hmmm

I think Clinton did much better.

[brianbwb-2009]

"When plucked from the bowels of a Democratic campaign, the response is some mild tsk-tsking."

Unless you can, unlike Mr. Goldberg, understand that "Black" democrats aren''t tsking, but simply being, as usual, ignored and marginalized by the media.

We took note of the ignorance and insult of the Clinton party and voted accordingly, we also have a generations-long list of notes taken of Republicans who pretend to be concerned, while they themselves are straight out of the kk manifesto, and we shall vote accordingly.

We have also taken note of people like Mr. Goldberg, who dismisses our concerns as if we didn''t exist, and we shall vote accordingly.

[veteran188]

We all pray that the christians of the right wing Nazi party, as exemplified renojmc, will become

HUMAN BEING''s

some day,

these mindless lemmings that brought us GW Bush and the needless War in Iraq,

In the meantime the only choice for america is Obama,

the real nightmare on the street called America would

be four more years of McBushCain

[efarris38]

I think Bill and Hillary Clinton will always have a presence in the modern day Democratic Party. They have served thecountry in several capacities. Senator Clinton I think would be the "shoe in" in 2012 if Obama tanks this time. People will be saying I told you so many times over. Let''s unite and give Obama a chance, but if he fails then no one can say well we didn''t give the black man his chance. I think ideally a woman or a black man would serve well.

[magnetrack]

Just goes to shoe how weak Obama is--he can''t even keep the Clintons from taking over the convention. The GOP will then come in for the slaughter...

[deaver6]

What a bunch of baloney. Only the most diehard of Obama supporters could be this "article."

[tbweb]

`Nightmare On Dem Street` Agreed!!

Once again the Democratic Party is in self destruct mode! Sen. Obama`s lead over Sen. McCain is now down to only 3% nationwide when the lead should easily be in double digits. Even if the Democratic Convention has to fake it, the `focus` should be completely on the Democratic Platform and Sen. Obama `only`, not on Sen. Clinton`s losing campaign and $25 million she racked in campaign debts trying to defeat Sen. Obama. Sen. Clinton ran a historic campaign and all Americans, not just women should be proud of her and recognize her efforts but the upcoming Democratic Convention is not the time or place! Sen. Obama needs a boost from the Democratic Convention and the `focus of attention` needs to be squarely on Sen. Obama `only`. The Democrats in diverting attention to Sen. Clinton are taking their eyes off the ball and the prize and Republicans see an opening and are pouring money into Sen. McCain`s campaign and will try and steal an election Republicans should easily lose! Die hard Clinton supporters are sore losers and need to get over it and move on!

[Netterz]

The entire Gov''t has been in self destruct mode for many years now. If you take a hard look, you can see that party lines disappeared years ago, because these few select or elected people are not fighting for whats best for America, they are fighting to keep there political seats, to remain safe from the ruins they have made of this once great country. They are in place to UPHOLD and Interpret the Constitution, not change it every time some stupid law suit comes along over some one who is ''offended'' by what this country was built on. They have weasled in there own retirements, while they gave away ours, Social Security. They have weasled there own perfect health care plans, while almost half of Americans dont have ANY. They have shipped all of there own interests over seas, so when America sinks from there crappy service, they remain safe. Welcome to our world of political people.

[veteran188]

the nightmare is what four more years of McBush would be like

[kazoodan]

The Hillary hates Obama crapola furthers the conservative agenda of showing that Dems are less unified than they actually are. It is a myth perpetrated and propagated by the right-wing-nut-jobs and solidified by Rush Mushmouth and his Operation Chaos.

Oh yeah, what''s McNovacaine up to these days? Must be taking another nap.

[suzyku]

Jonah Goldberg, I always read your columns when I need a good laugh and some good fiction! You''re just another right wing putz!

[nothappyatall]

I wouldn''t be surprised if on the day of the event, Obama announcs Hilary is his running mate Vice President, why else be concerned about HER campaign debts and helping her get them paid off???

While everyone speculates they are laughing to themselves, Hilary was chosen all along as VP once she dropped out of the Presidential race, and THAT is why Obama has been trying to get her debt paid off.
She would be the only one that makes sense and comes with a large number of delegates and votes.

[wogerwabbit]

The Repubs have had their chance to govern our country and have been found to be at the very best incompetant. To continue this losing agenda is the height of insanity... or fanaticism. What you neocon flat earthers don''t understand is that you''ve put us through 7 years of hell and we''ve had enough... it sucks the hairy moose meat and it''s time for Plan B... and you bozo''s are NOT part of the new equation. You failed. You lost. You f**ked up our country! You''re history. Get used to it. Losers...

[patriot12436]

irliberal
They have to have someone give a speech, they threw everyone else under the bus.

[patriot12436]

veteran188
I consider myself a conservative. I think we need leadership that will quit trying to dictate to the rest of the world to adopt our standards, a govt that will address the problems facing America and represent us as Americans. We need to stop foreign aid as we can no longer afford to support the rest of the world. Seal our borders, deport illegals and take care of the American people.

[mrcrewcut]

modern day Democratic Party sucks. so does the modern day Republican Party. someone let the rats in.

[patriot12436]

sparks224
A very good idea. Bill Clinton could be put in charge of national security and go after all the *** offenders. Afterall it takes one to know one.

[patriot12436]

mrcrewcut
I definately agree with you. That is why i have never joined a party. I cannot understand the blind loyalty of voting for a party. We should be intelligent enough to look at the facts and decide who is the best candidate without a party telling us who we should vote for.

[mainedoggie]

Jonah Goldberg...
Another whining neo-con nutjob who has nothing left to spew from his venomous arsenal, except Clinton-slamming. Your party is through. You sound like a real *********!

[jon2012-2009]

Do people still wonder if NRO will ever become mainstream media? You need only read the opening paragraph of today''s edition and you''ll know why NRO will never achieve respectability.

[ohio38]

What if the Clintons actually do what they need to to get Obama elected? Shocking, but . . . it is certainly in their best interest and if anyone is preoccupied with their legacies, it''s them. Hillary needs a rousing speech to her supporters to throw their support behind Obama, reminding them of their minimal policy differences.Bill is brilliant and an excellent speaker. He who could use his time on stage to not only support Obama, but also rehabilitate his image. He''s still smarting over some primary coverage. If he can manage to deftly address some of those issues with the right language, he could help himself AND Obama. He could also be Obama''s attack dog for McCain on foreign policy; that''s a spotlight he could relish. Should be interesting. Then if Obama does lose, Clinton will be perfectly poised for 2012 and Obama supporters would willingly support her.

[veteran188]

The only real nightmare is on Main Street, America,

and that nightmare is another four years of McBush