Did Wife's Illness Spur Edwards' Straying?

Two Psychologists Discuss Why Politicians Cheat; One Says Elizabeth's Cancer Could Have Played Role

(CBS)  When John Edwards admitted he'd had an affair, the first thing psychologist and Cookie magazine contributing editor Dr. Robi Ludwig wondered was whether it was the first time -- whether it was part of a pattern.

But then, she told Early Show co-anchor Harry Smith Monday, "You want to know, 'What was the trigger?' I wonder if there was something about his wife's illness (Elizabeth Edwards has advanced breast cancer) that somehow got him to cheat, or contributed, at least. I think we get so caught up in good or bad -- is somebody a good person or bad person? Cheating is wrong. But I think there are multiple factors. Was he doing it because he had a fear of losing his wife? There are lots of different reasons."

Ludwig and fellow psychologist Dr. Frank Farley of Temple University chatted about why politicians cheat on their spouses.

Farley's first thought on hearing the news?

"Here we go again. And, 'Is this similar or different to all the others?' (politicians who've had affairs) That was my question about the whole thing."

Ludwig and Farley agreed the unique nature of what politicians do for a living, and of the type person who would choose to do it, sets them apart from Joe Ordinary -- and could, in part, help lead them to infedelity.

Ludwig says reports that the woman with whom Edwards had the affair, Rielle Hunter, may have targeted him "could certainly be" true, pointing out that, "There are many politicians who are targeted. They're powerful. Sometimes they're good-looking. So, they are going to be in a situation that other, quote, normal men may not be in."

Farley says "it's possible" Edwards opted to cheat even knowing all he was risking because "he couldn't stop himself, in a sense. You know? The career of politics involves all sorts of change, variety, novelty, risk, uncertainty. They tend to be natural rule-breakers, the folks who go in there. If they followed the strict rules, they'd have a 9-to-5, ordinary job. There's all the admirers, the opportunities. This is why it happens so frequently. It attracts a certain kind of person into that lifestyle."

Why would Elizabeth Edwards stand by him as she has?

"I'm not surprised," Ludwig remarked. "A lot of these women must know their men are going to be targeted. Maybe they make a decision, 'My relationship is more important than some woman and I'm not going to allow some fling to interfere with my relationship.' And it's a business relationship for a lot of these people, in addition to being an emotional relationship."

"Politicians aren't like the rest of us," Farley chimed in. "Neither are their spouses. So they're attrated to certain things in these guys, and sometimes, there are consequences. FDR, JFK, Clinton, and on and on."

[caribel-2009]

Golly, another "awful man" story. They are all alike, every last one of them will cheat and lie. So what else is new?

[eyeswide1]

Just as I stated in my post yesterday; there''s
something about husbands of wives who are sick, who use their illness as an excuse to cheat. This comes from selfishness & pre-occupation with gratification. A friend of my family did a similar thing back in 1993; his wife had come home from a Chemotherapy round sick as a dog in one bedroom, & her lowlife husband was in another bedroom having *** with his mistress, who happen to be a friend of hers. Can anything be lower than this? To this day I cannot look him in the eye without barfing, because this was a very sick action.

John Edwards chose to stray & cheat on his wife, & at the same time he is a bad example to his children; his actions tell his children that when things get rough on the homefront, it is alright to cheat & lie.
To think that this John Edwards actually wanted to run for President! Not in this lifetime. Some individuals that have posted to this thread state that it is none of our business; on the contrary it is because it is an issue of integrity, trust, & good judgement; 3 traits so important for a figure to conduct business in the White House. If Mrs. Edwards cannot trust her husband, how do you expect the US Citizens to trust him in any office?

[starleo146]

no wonder he was getting $400 haircuts when he went to California. What a doofus both of them deserve all they get and even if Elizabeth feels her children need a father ,she should find a way for them to see him, because if he lives with her it will just stress her out, and make her sicker faster. Get all he has Elizabeth, North Carolina has a adultery divorce. Then sue her, and your kids will need nothing.You would have taught them you can''t get away with wrong.If he would do this to Elizabeth while she is sick, how do you think he would treat his kids after she is gone.

[starleo146]

Do any of you remember how he persecuted the Clinton''s over what Bill Clinton did, man what a two faced man. He is the vainest man I have ever seen, and I bet she just flowered him with all kinds of good looking sayings, and he ate it up. Anyone that would pay 400 dollars for a haircut tells you something about the man. Funny now I know why he wanted to look good

[starleo146]

I don''''t care what type of occupation you have...you should NEVER cheat on your spouse, there''''s NEVER a "good" reason someone cheats!!! What about the other woman, how low can you go??? She knew he was married. They are both at fault for this!!! What a sad world we live in.

Posted by andsab at 10:35 AM : Aug 13, 2008

There it is all you have said is true. They both deserve all they are getting, and then some. I hate it for Elizabeth, but he should of thought of his family before all this happened. He is still lying and it will come out, and he will look even more foolish than he is now

[rjmaltby]

Just because his wife is ill does NOT give any spouse the right to cheat..You took a vow...better,worse,sickness and in health..
He will have to answer to God in the end.

[andsab]

I don''t care what type of occupation you have...you should NEVER cheat on your spouse, there''s NEVER a "good" reason someone cheats!!! What about the other woman, how low can you go??? She knew he was married. They are both at fault for this!!! What a sad world we live in.

[kansas1946]

But I think there are multiple factors. Was he doing it because he had a fear of losing his wife? There are lots of different reasons."
****************************************************

Forget it. He did it because he wanted to. It is one thing to have to much to drink and slip up one night, and another to carry on a long term affair. Especially after what his wife had been going through and will have to go through. She has lost a child, fought through cancer only to have it return, suffered through treatment while she was campaigning for him, and what is he doing. Bumping uglies with some bimbo, and puts Elizabeth throught that little humiliation. No excuses. I was a great fan of John Edwards. Now, I wouldn''t give him the time of day.

[tibu987]

To those of you who say this is none of our business, I it is our business.

It is our business as Edwards and other politicians should be held to a higher standard. Instead, they feed us all kinds of moralizing when they do not hold themselves to that same standard.

Perhaps it is naive to expect that our leaders conduct themselves in office honorably. I certainly
want honest and moral politicians in federal and state offices.
Makes sense to me.

[tibu987]

No matter that Edwards wife has cancer, he made the concious decision to do what he did. There are no excuses. His career is over and that is good. We have enough others like him in Washington that we should vote out of office.

Will the last honest, honorable, moral politician please stand.

Hey, no one is standing.

Gimme a break.

[truth2shine]

It''s a great idea to report on how men handle intimacy, when a spouse has cancer. In regards to the John Edwards Affair: My experience run similar.

There are lots of resources for the sick but little for the spouse or care taker. I am disappointed in Mr. Edwards actions, while am glad he is alive.

You see, I worked as a flight attendant and dated a married pilot who divorced his wife, a bank executive. A month later, he had their marriage annulled, when she came down with terminal cancer.

We separated and reconciliated after they were having marital problems and dealing with cancer treatments.

Months later, he was found dead in his hotel room from %u201CAuto erotic Asphyxiation.%u201D He secretly engaged in the activity. Many got blamed and investigated, as it was unsure if a suicide, homicide or accident.

This is why I say, it is hurtful to all but am sure many prefer Mr. John Edwards alive in shame than the other way around, in dealing with his sexual feelings and his wife%u2019s cancer.

[minnick8-2009]

Edwards opted to cheat even knowing all he was risking because "he couldn''t stop himself . . .

Oh please, so Edwards was the victim here?

To those who claim it is no one''s business:

That would be only if it is shown that the house purchased for Rielle in CA and the $15,000 a MONTH she receives is in no way connected to political donations to John Edwards.

Since it was complained above that the complainers sound like old biddies, then I''m in.

[dnsallday]

I''m not sure why this is any of our business.
There is some fake outrage over the idea that Edwards lied to the press instead of telling them that he had an affair?? Please....the media lies to the public every single day of the week! John Edwards owes nothing to the press!

[thgdriver]

I wondered how long it would take the Democratic slime balls to try and deflect the criticism away from their party. ***, this is a new low for the Democrats, trying to make it all his wife''s fault.

[lvslife2much]

Elizabeth Edwards and her children are the ones who are suffering the most right now. She is an intelligent woman who is fighting to live each day to the fullest. Fighting for her life means no stress, calm life, good people around her...none of which describe the situation her husband has put upon her. Her husband (I will not honor him by even using his name here) will go down in history as a man who lost his integrity for a roll in the hay. His credibility is shot forever.
Elizabeth Edwards will never forget any of this and will leave this earth with this pain of betrayal. At the most vulnerable time of her life, he betrayed her and their family. What a pathetic pip of a man. And I am a life-long Democrat.
Mrs. Edwards needs to get together a seamless plan to provide for her young children in the future that does not include the other woman & her pip of a husband raising them.
Her children will never forgive their father. When they grow up and fully understand the breach he brought upon their family, they will resent him even more. Their mother will remain a primary parent to them from here forward becasue they will know she never deserted them, even in her darkest of days of ill health.
Elizabeth Edwards, carry on by immediately getting good legal advice on how to structure your children''s emotional and financial future. They will need you to think clearly for them. Obviously, their father is not capable of thinking of anyone but himself.

[whatsup49]

it''s time to hang up this story. edwards'' political future is dead. let him and his wife get on with their lives in private.

[dh443153]

Rielle Hunter''s friend, Pidgeon, talkes about her integrity. What integrity does a woman who has an affair with a married man have? Maggie''s interview with Pidgeon gaves Pidgeons point-of-view; none of it was fact. We will never know what really happened.

[anita7710]

As I listen to Ms. Hunter''s friend talk about her friend''s involvement with Edwards, I wonder: how much did the Republican Party pay her and her friend to reveal the details of her affair with Edwards, thereby thwarting any and all chances of his presidential/vice-presidential aspirations. If she truly loved him as she told her friend, she would not have agreed to reveal the affair. In my 49 years, I have discovered that all men cheat in one way or another ... and, for various reasons. As an observer, I can speculate that Edwards may have found someone he could get close to in Ms. Hunter ... talking, sharing, afraid of losing his wife, etc. Not that they are excuses, but I can see how it would have happened. What I don''t understand is, if this woman wasn''t expecting to earn her 15 minutes of fame as "the other woman" why would she betray his trust by revealing their affair? And, as to why Mrs. Edwards, as well as Hillary Clinton continue to "stand by their man" when they have had affairs? They know what I know ... all men cheat! But, at the end of the day, they also know that when it comes down to the men making a choice between an affair and their family, they will choose their family, because that is where their heart is.

[oneworldusa]

I love how these politician-types keep thinking they''re going to get away with things like this. Who can trust someone in the public eye who can''t even keep a marriage vow? What else are these people capable of for their own desires, and not that of the taxpayers, that is the question.

We know the answer. These types will advance themselves at any cost to the American taxpayer, ensuring they have what they want because they are self-centered egotistical lying maniacs.

John Edwards, you have shamed yourself, your wife, and perhaps even most importantly, your children. Please crawl into a hole and go away.

[mitch5511]

This kind of news coverage is really tiresome. WHO FREAKING CARES?!!!

People really need to get a life. The media and people who eat this stuff up are acting like a bunch of old biddies.