Is "Sex" Making Young Men Anxious?

Therapists: More Men 18-30 Turning To Viagra, Similar Meds To Please Modern Women

(CBS)  Are the more demanding, powerful modern women out of the "Sex and the City" playbook so intimidating and threatening that a growing number of younger men are using Viagra and similar medications to help them cope?

Many therapists say it's happening -- more and more men aged 18-30 using "the little blue pill" and other drugs of its ilk to deal with performance anxiety stemming from the nature of the women they're dating.

The men say today's empowered women are very vocal about what they want in terms of intimacy, creating pressure that's leading to problems in the boudoir.

And, the therapists report, the overexposure of perfectly-proportioned and functioning male models in advertising, Web porn and elsewhere, which can create unrealistic fantasies, isn't helping any, either -- making men feel even more insecure.

"Absolutely," one young women on a Manhattan street told CBS News, "I think women know what they want, and are able to really speak their minds. And it's a fabulous thing!"

"Definitely," said another. "Girls do talk about their sexual lives and what they want in relationships more and more."

And a young man observed that, "There's more pressure on it these days."



On The Early Show Wednesday, sex therapist, Dr. Judy Kuriansky, author of "Generation Sex," told co-anchor Harry Smith, "Guys are threatened. They're threatened. They can't take the powerful woman. ... They want the woman who is powerful, but they're threatened by her."

But relationship expert Steve Santagati, author of "The Manual," was having none of it. "Any guy who's gonna be intimidated by a strong woman -- she's not gonna be interested in, anyways," he said. ... "The characters in 'Sex and the City' -- the average guy does not look at these women as powerful. We look at powerful women as the doctors, the lawyers, the writers -- that kind of woman. These women are just high-maintenance, that's all. Men are not emasculated by strong women if they're a real man in the first place."

His advice? "Don't medicate if you're under 80!"

[faith_in_w]

It doesnt sound like they are threatened but physically unable to make the womans fantasies real. But ofcourse the woman will say they are threatened. Modern women will be the death of this country.

[mayrejayne]

I totally agree with Steve. I don''t believe most men would to go to a therapist. Sorry, it''s just not going to happen. They definately need to "man up". The "women''s movement" of the 60''s & 70''s didn''t do the average man or woman any favors. Wonder why men are intimidated by "strong" women? Guys were confused about what they could or couldn''t do and thus, did little or nothing. That is my take on it anyway. I don''t think men ever recovered. Men and women just need to respect each other as people and move on from there.

[olebd]

Last time I checked, *** and the City is pretend. I would think twice about dating any female that was really into that show so much that she would try to emulate the characters in the show. The women on that show just aren''t very attractive to begin with. Maybe 15-20 years ago.

If women want the power, I say go for it. Just realize there are many heaadaches to go with it. Perhaps men will live longer than women someday soon if this trend continues! HA-HA.

[dogsoul]

"The characters in ''*** and the City'' -- the average guy does not look at these women as powerful. We look at powerful women as the doctors, the lawyers, the writers -- that kind of woman. These women are just high-maintenance, that''s all. Men are not emasculated by strong women if they''re a real man in the first place."

Amen buddy, you NAILED it (pun intended). My grandmother lived thru the World Wars - had to raise 6 kids herself on a school teacher''s salary after her husband died young - SHE was a strong woman. Not ALL, but MANY of these so called ''strong modern women'' aren''t strong at all... they''re self entitled, self obsessed, self aggrandizing, and just overall selFISH. I mean, to pronounce ''they know what they want & say it'' like it''s some kind of femi-pride mantra? Any two year old knows how to point & whine at whatever it is they want...

Strength isn''t about being high maintenance, or catty, or bossy, or demanding, or manipulative or shallow... and although we hear MANY modern women complain that when a man acts the same way as these ''b*tches'', he gets respect... I got news for you ladies, who got a word for those guys too - they''re called a*sholes - and we don''t like them any better...

[eyewideopen]

Most independent, confident women are going to find the idea of a young guy (who doesn''t have other health issues) on Viagara a huge turn off. It seems like a huge sign of insecurity. Even if he was a little intimidated by her and um...slow to warm up(?) a self-confident and mature woman is going to be able to handle that.

[isembard]

Men are chugging unnecessary drugs, and it''s the fault of the women?! Give me a break. Perhaps, they should quit worrying about the horrible, oppressive pressure that women are putting on them and grow a pair, for pity''s sake.

And why oh why does the media continue to refer to the idiotic, unrealistic, cheap, narcissists of SATC as if they were reflection of real women? Sorry, neither I, my sisters, or any of my friends are promiscuous, aging, self-absessed bores.

And "faith_in_w", this article was obviously written about insecure, pathetic "men" like you. I repeat, grow a pair. No man is intimidated by a strong woman any more than a woman is intimidated by a strong man.

[faith_in_w]

isembard, nice deflection. Obviously you cant deal with a strong christian women like myself.

[dogsoul]

"Television...the tool of the ignorant that would rather watch someone else do something than do it themselves. Lard butts of America, throw that thing in the garbage and get a life."

...as opposed to the internet?

[roach9703]

How about no *** outside of marriage?. You avoid a lot of problems guys. Meanwhile, get in shape. Ride a bike. Swim, etc.

[texanforlogi]

None of my men, regardless of age, have ever needed Viagra. I know things that put that little blue pill to shame.

[faith_in_w]

roach9703, maybe you should read the article before you post a flippant feminist remark.

[watercam]

I started using the blue V pill to try to impress my new woman. It did. I could rock like a porn star. That was great for the time being, but then it became expected, and when the ground and pound did not occur without as much vigor I began getting questioned that I was not interested in her any more. So in-order to impress I had to pop more pills to keep up what I had started for fun. It became a vicious cycle, plus the head aches those pills leave behind are pretty bad at times.

[credibility2]

So sad that males feel they always have to have it and perform in order to be considered real men. Viagra perpetrates this myth. Men should stop relying on their appendage to make them feel as though they''re functioning optimally. I''ve also heard that athletes are turning to Viagra to help enhance their abilities in their sport. If true, more revealing and troubling.

[reedtaz73]

So in-order to impress I had to pop more pills to keep up what I had started for fun. It became a vicious cycle, plus the head aches those pills leave behind are pretty bad at times.

The vicious cycle is called addiction and your headache is withdraw symptoms or blood pressure problems. It''s healthier for you to find another female.

[drivelphobe]

This whole ED syndrome is a joke. The medical community and the drug companies are crooked. Doctors prescribe Viagra, Cialis and Levitra for sport activity. The number of true ED cases one would see, you can count on your hand. It''s perfect for those insecure males who are born losers. No insurance coverage should ever apply to these ridiculous pharmaceuticals.

[wangbang]

If you''re a man and you are intimidated by women, you are a total WUSS. I am tired of all these losers crying and whining and blaming women for their problems. Quit being a mama''s boy already!

[cbsguest6]

Here''s a lesson about digital images and magazines. Anything you see in a magazine or any digital image is most likely enhanced in one form or another. If you need a pill and you''re 18-30 maybe you have other health issues. And lastly, most certainly not least, all you young women with your "vocal intimacy expectations" need to grow up and HONESTLY re-evaluate yourself and your expectations. There is no free lunch, you can''t have your cake and eat it too. And if you can''t compromise your expectations then maybe you should be alone.

[rhb1963]

Here''s my take ont the whole empowered woman thing. Either take for the guy I am, or screw ya. There''s plenty more fish in the sea.

[matter77]

It''s not a *** problem, it''s a drug problem, period.

[ufokitty]

Men are idiots and always have been (no, I''m not gay). We women were told over and over again to "tell your partner what you need!" Well, we did and they didn''t do it anyway. My favorite when asking for a certain thing we have all been lead to believe men love to play with, well, apparently it was "too inconvenient to reach." Uh, yanno, ya COULD MOVE! Good grief! They just complain about having to actually DO something in bed besides rolling over and going to sleep. It''s the women that need a happy pill! We girls are not fridgid - Men just don''t care.

[darnedsocks]

WELL, WELCOME TO THE CLUB...NOW MEN KNOW HOW WOMEN FEEL EVERY DAY.

[darnedsocks]

...I TEND TO THINK THIS ARTICLE IS EXAGGERATION THOUGH. IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE A CLEVERLY-DISGUISED ADVERTISEMENT FOR PRESCRIPTION DRUGS.

[brianp55]

I seriously doubt that a majority of these men are using Viagra because they want to please women. Rather, they want to take full advantage of this sometimes rare opportunity for their own pleasure and don''t want it squandered by a misfire.

[studebaker5-2009]

Funny, nobody has mentioned about all the chemicals in the water these days, particularly from birth control pills. I have read where it causes problems for men in this area.

[goldsummer]

"Men are not emasculated by strong women if they''re a real man in the first place." relationship expert Steve Santagati, author of "The Manual,"

What a load of crock. Glad i''m not buying his book. I''ve know a few men that are intimidated by a strong woman but are still very manly men. These and most other men are usually lacking in 2 areas. Self confidence and skills. And its comments like Steves that in his words "emasculate" the men folk. If the younger generation really wants to go without "the little blue pill" do yourself and partner a huge favor and check out the relationship section of the book store. And learn how to communicate with your partner.

[johnpatrick9]

If the connection does not flow then forget about it your not in synch and your both either selfish, on an ego trip but definitely not in love...it is not a technique it is a physical connection to a spiritual dimension and if it requires turmoil then your both forcing the issue ....seek your partner elsewhere. "For a Man,in the arms of a Maid or of a Duchess, it matters not if the two are entwined body and soul."

[jetlizhan]

oh great, our 18-30 year old young men are already worried about not being ''PhDs'' - by the way, that stands for ''perpetual hard d.icks''

[imarltool2u]

the s e /x in the city characters are ugly and one is a lesbian. now, gisele would make my rock hard abs go lower and turn them into a 9 pack!

[pghlady3]

this is a merck drug. I would rather get less and not have my husband go blind or or die or something from a drug that may or may not have been properly tested.

[staycalm]

I think the best *** was in the middle ages when valiant knights fought for their lady love and, after facing death for the right to her hand, she would fall into his arms with a sigh, he would place her on his horse and they would ride off into the sunset.

[timdgrim]

Don''t worry guys..the Humanoid Phyllis 5 is on the way....
5 settings...S**k, F**k, Cook, Clean and the most important setting... OFF!

[blackeagleba]

It is a sad state of affairs when one of the most basic of human nature responses to a relationship or marriage, is pushed to the forefront due to media. Sexual relations between a man and woman is a private affair. However, due to media (TV, movies, internet, etc), *** is now a "demanded" response to love. This places immense pressure on both parties. With drugs such as Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra, and alternate therapies of Testosterone patches and injections, the measure of a man has gone to whether or not he can get an erection, where as before it was how he treated his spouse or loved one. Media has taken a wonderful physical reaction to male/female relations, and has now made it into a 1970''s pornographic movie. With lessening attention on STD''s, the availability of condoms, sponges, diaphrams, IUD''s, or having lab tests done, Dept of Human Services in every state saying a 16 year old can have *** with whomever they want to without it being illegal; where do we draw the line? When do we as adults, and parents, say NO.

[blackeagleba]

Parents, for the most part, are too afraid to "monitor" their teenagers, for fear that they will "***" their childs'' development. Young and old adults feel like internet porn,and movies that promote sexual promiscuity, are basically telling them that *** with anyone is OK, intercourse at a whim- is ok. And since erection difficulties are usually overcome with ED drugs, the "demand" for *** is even greater now. Single partner *** has gone by the wayside. I applaud those that have maintained such a relationship, but no pressure of a man to get these drugs should ever be made. These drugs can kill. Abuse and/or use when a man is not physically able to have intercouse, simply because these items are available, will kill a man. So, for the women that are pushing their boyfriends or husbands to invest in these drugs, just so the women can satisfy their "itch", BACK OFF. If you base a husband''s love, or your boyfriend''s love, on how much their able to "do" you- YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN IN A MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TO BEGIN WITH.

[dragonmouse-2009]

Poor fellas...imagine being intimidated by what they see in the movies.

Of course no woman has ever been intimidated by playboy or the victoria secret models.

[redbarron73]

None of my men, regardless of age, have ever needed Viagra. I know things that put that little blue pill to shame.

Posted by texanforlogi at 09:57 AM : Jun 18, 2008


Yup, I have always believed that the right woman is the cure for "E.D." Before I divorced my wife, who had gained 60 pounds and became generally unappealing to me, I had a hard time gettin'' it up for her anymore.

Shortly after we split up, I found a woman who brought things out of me that I didn''t even know were in there anymore.

[missingamerica]

I think the best *** was in the middle ages when valiant knights fought for their lady love and, after facing death for the right to her hand, she would fall into his arms with a sigh, he would place her on his horse and they would ride off into the sunset.

Posted by staycalm at 11:57 AM : Jun 18, 2008

But who wants to share with a horse?

[rhb1963]

Not to get off subjet but what''s with the ***? Can we not use the word ***?

[rhb1963]

Iguess not. What a prudish world we have become when a normal everyday word has been edited from a seemingly intelligent discussion.

[erasmus81]

Not to get off subjet but what''''s with the ***? Can we not use the word ***? Posted by rhb1963 at 12:44 PM : Jun 18, 2008

No, you can''t. They can use the word s-e-x, but nobody else can.

[texanforlogi]

Before I divorced my wife, who had gained 60 pounds and became generally unappealing to me, I had a hard time gettin'''' it up for her anymore.
Posted by redbarron73 at 12:29 PM : Jun 18, 2008

If you are going to comment like a sexist pig then please don''t respond to any of my remarks. It''s people like you that take the fun out of these boards. By the way, how much weight have YOU gained?

[erasmus81]

If a guy feels he needs to take Viagra then he is with the wrong woman. He should not be intimidated by a strong woman. I am a strong woman and I don''t think a man needs to "perform" for me. If a person has a "connection", everything should fall into place. And there is nothing wrong with a man and a woman telling each other what they like as long as it is something they both are into doing and there is no "pressure".

[gkc99]

"Are the more demanding, powerful modern women out of the "*** and the City" playbook so intimidating and threatening that a growing number of younger men are using Viagra and similar medications to help them cope? "


If an 18-30 year old man can''t satify a yuppie beetch, get the ho a ***!

[gkc99]

"Not to get off subjet but what''''s with the ***? Can we not use the word ***? --Posted by rhb1963


CBS can say "s*e*x" in their headline, but when you say it, it''s dirty.

Like why can''t we use the word "d*i*l*d*o"?

Pretty heavy handed censorship from the right wing press.

[erasmus81]

If an 18-30 year old man can''''t satify a yuppie beetch, get the ho a ***! Posted by erasmus81 at 01:03 PM : Jun 18, 2008

I can see you haven''t changed. You are still a pig.

[inventagod2]

''...I pardon thee for this? thy children have forsaken me, and sworn by them that are no gods: when I had fed them to the full, they then committed adultery, and assembled themselves by troops in the harlots'' houses.

Posted by drmaqazi''

drmaqazi - it''s people like you who have never had an original thought, and must copy and paste to make yourelf look important. You are not.
The only thing you have accomplished in your life is to have a CBS censor turn S EX into ******

[bigalb87]

Steve is the man!!!! I accidentally turned to this channel on my way to SportsCenter when the topic caught my eye. I heard the female therapist with the normal "women are strong and the men can''t hang" BS...you know the stuff that caters to the large female audience----I think every morning show must show deference to the female viewer---read GMA and the Today show and their daily kiss up to women at men''s expense.....but then I heard Steve---- "whoa!, whoa! whoa!" It was like I was in the studio!! Did this guy stumble in from a post NBA finals party and land in the studio? Why would CBS let a real man in to talk like a real man?
Steve nailed it. Represented us all. Not too harsh, accepting, but not buying any of the BS.
I actually just registered to the CBS website so I could post this message.
When will the studio execs wake up and realize that there are men who watch TV in the morning. Until they do, ESPN will rule, and the morning shows will continue to only enjoy the sponsorship of female products.
Good Job Steve!! I hope to see you on the show again.
v/r
Big AL

[drputt45]

Well, when I was a teenager, I was anxious about *** and over 50 years later, I am still anxious. How is this some revelation? My anxiety now is more about how to get it, not how I perform.

[erasmus81]

My anxiety now is more about how to get it, not how I perform. Posted by drputt45 at 01:27 PM : Jun 18, 2008

Hahaha

[Marie Zarankevich]

rhb1963 -- It is only a simple software program that is censoring your words. -- There is nobody there marking out which words can or can''t be used here. -- All the news services use them. -- Don''t take it personally, dude.

[rhb1963]

I realize that, but someone had the the program put into place. What can I say, I''m old school, my generation wasn''t offended by the least little thing anyone said or did. We took things as they came.

That''s why this powerful woman thing and being intimidated by them is a crock. Women like that are just high maintenance. There should be a connection between a man and a woman for it to work. Not demands of s e x u a l satisfaction. If you don''t have the connection, then move on to the next one.