The Bold And The Beautiful

Troy Roberts Meets A Couple Of Suburban Moms Who Happen To Be Polygamists

(CBS)  Vicki and Valerie call themselves independent fundamentalists. "We associate with each other and we know each other. But we don’t, you know, go to the same church or have a leader like a Warren Jeffs persona that follow."

The family worships at home and tries its best to live under the radar. They would not share their last names, and their husband refused to be interviewed, fearing it would jeopardize his business

"Ours won’t go on camera because there is a stigma," Vicki explains.

But the raid in Texas has changed things for them: they believe the allegations of abuse against the FLDS are greatly exaggerated, and it has frightened them.

"I feel compelled to stand up," Val tells Roberts. "If that could happen to them in their community, what is to stop it from happening to me in my home? If I take my child to the doctor with a broken bone, I don’t want to have the fear that they’re gonna automatically assume that it’s abuse. Because why? Because you’re a polygamist. And I have that fear."

Their children live with that fear as well: in the predominantly Mormon community they're frequently taunted as polygamists. They say their children have been called "polyg" in a derogatory way.

"Do they come home in tears sometimes?" Roberts asks.

"They have. My daughter has had rocks thrown at her," Vicki says.

There's a lot, they say, we just don't understand. "The men get a bad rap. I've heard said that it’s all about sex and control from the men. And really, they work so hard to provide to their families," Vicki says.

They're particularly offended by the stereotype that women in polygamy are oppressed. "I don’t think a man who lives this way just has all power over everyone in his family to do as he pleases," Valerie says.

"No, he might like it, but he doesn’t," she adds, laughing. "When there's a disagreement, we all decide together and talk about it. And we all decide together what would be the best for the whole."

[skullaria-2009]

I don''t like it one bit. I think it is disgusting, but it doesn''t break my bones or pick my pocket.

People can use the Bible as an excuse for anything.

[pakg1]

There were a few questions I would liked to have been asked. For example, they can''t legally marry two women, so are they simply calling the 2nd or 3rd women "wives"?

Are they on any government assistance program?

Can the women take more than one "husband", and if not, can they not see a double standard? That it still is about men controlling once again? Does the husband do laundry and help with the children as well?

This choice is their choice to make. It is several adults willingly sharing each other and living together. My issue with the situation in TX is that the women and children are treated and traded like property, and don''t even realize that they are being abused.

[boston1954]

One man. Three wives. This is nothing more than a harem! Sick.

[cristo359]

In China they have laws against families with more than one child. Such families face punishment. The law is there and will stay forever. Only after the earthquakes an emergency law was passed for families that lost their only child, to apply for permit so they can have a new child.
Thus modern China is a single child culture.
However, there are some isolated communities who still practice multi-child raising. Some communist officials have suggested action in order to uproot the unusual communities. The practice is illegal, and after all, by raising multiple kids the standard of living drops, as family resources must be divided and kids are getting les and less. Most law abiding Chinese find such communities to be wrong and immoral.
However, I personally don%u2019t believe that the multi-child raising communities are doing anything that is immoral. And I find the people who are condemning the multi-child families to be ignorant of how nature works.

[mommakat64]

So sorry about the repeat.

ndg1979, perhaps you need to really read YOUR Bible. The Old Testament lays out G*d''s desire to make one tribe His own, and the, oh, so many tangled problems that came about...G*d punishing, G*d blessing and on and on. The NEW Testament is when G*d Himself came into our humble lives to honestly/truly instruct us about His ways. All else pales by comparison to a Being who would come to us, teach us about His love for us, and then destroy Himself FOR us.

Think about it yourself. What is more natural? Children with many adults to try to understand, and try to obey? Or one father and one mother trying to live a good, productive life together, and to raise their children to understand both sides of life?!?!

[mommakat64]

moonshadow22...but are they REALLY being honest, or are they "playing to the press"?! Please, remember that their children ARE ridiculed on the playground. Children can always and ever be cruel to each other without reason....but these children have been deemed somehow NOT normal because of their parents lifestyle...when parents foist their life style on their childrens'' daily lives...it''s abusive to the children. It''s no different than causing a child discomfort because the parent sells illegal drugs. Both kids will feel "un-natural" to their fellows. And you can take your hat off all you want, but if children don''t flower, this world loses. Yes, these women ARE hurting someone else...their children.

And, moonshadow, this country was founded on LAWS...laws that carry punishment if you disobey them...

[mommakat64]

moonshadow22...but are they REALLY being honest, or are they "playing to the press"?! Please, remember that their children ARE ridiculed on the playground. Children can always and ever be cruel to each other without reason....but these children have been deemed somehow NOT normal because of their parents lifestyle...when parents foist their life style on their childrens'' daily lives...it''s abusive to the children. It''s no different than causing a child discomfort because the parent sells illegal drugs. Both kids will feel "un-natural" to their fellows. And you can take your hat off all you want, but if children don''t flower, this world loses. Yes, these women ARE hurting someone else...their children.

And, moonshadow, this country was founded on LAWS...laws that carry punishment if you disobey them...

[mommakat64]

The standard of one wife/mother, one husband/father, seems so nuclear, but, actually, the "first family" was mother and child/cub/pup--look at so many species where the mother raises the babies by herself. Humans may have grouped together in family packs for the sake of our intensive care needing infants. But in almost all groups, mates are looked for in other groups--in-breeding was never considered a good thing, or even allowed. And in the presently evolved familial group, one mother and one father has become the best bet for raising stable children, but there are always snags. Male and female children need the input from both parents'' sexual identities. These polygamist families seem to be lop-sided, as the African/Arab male dominant cultures are. That this is any kind of lifestyle is challenged by the ridicule of the children by children who have one mother/one father families. These children are considered "not normal" sadly.

[barcar55]

The New Testament states to be the husband of one wife.

[ndg1979]

Well janeyre, it seems as if some self-reflection is in order. Who are you to say that another person is right or wrong? If you have never been wrong, you can talk. And where is it written that having more than one wife is uncivilized? Janeyre, when was the last time you read your bible?

Let''s think about something for a second here. In the article, it was mentioned by the ladies that they are following the way that Abraham, Isaac and Jacob lived in the bible. For all of you religious followers who say that polygamy is immoral - chew on this - Abraham, "the father of many nations", had several wives and therefore, polygamy was very prevalent even in man''s early history as recorded by THE BIBLE. So, is polygamy really immoral? Should it be considered unclean by any human who can trace their lineage back to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob? Could your ancestors be the result of an ancient polygamist relationship? If so, that would make you "children of polygamists", no matter how many generations removed you are.

I don''t endorse polygamy, nor do I show hatred to those who practice it, but you must all consider the hard truth and evidence of its causes and effects. And if in the end, you still hold hatred for polygamists, then you should also stop going to church and reading your bible for two reasons - polygamy existed in ancient times and GOD says you should not hate! If you dislike polygamy %u2013 change the bible yourself %u2013 the Catholics did.

Here endeth the lesson.

[janeyre-2009]

Religious oppression? This is nothing but the same old immoral behavior. It has nothing to do with religion or oppressing someone, because of their religion. These dummies are all sleeping with the same immoral male. How can you knowingly, come behind your sister, another woman and have *** with the same guy? It is just about being kept. In this country, you only get one mate at a time, legally. There are no exceptions. What a filthy way to live and no make up can make it pretty. It is immoral and disgusting and un natural. They are not civilized in any manner.

[moonshadow22]

My hat is off for these ladies. I don''t want to live MY life that way, but if it works for them, who am I to say anything against it? They''re adults, they''re honest with each other, and they''re happy...they aren''t hurting anyone else, so what business is it of the government? Too bad our society is to the point where they are forced to defend their position against religious oppression....the very premise this country was founded on.