A Sisterhood Of Grief

After Losing Loved Ones To War, Military Widows Find Comfort And Understanding Together

(CBS)  Memorial Day puts the focus on the men and women who have died in service to this country. It's also a time to acknowledge the many families who continue to bereave the loss of a loved one.

CBS News correspondent Kimberly Dozier recently went to Killeen, Texas, home of Ft. Hood, to spend time with a group of women who have come to rely on the support of one another.

Killeen is a town of two distinctions.

It is home to America's largest military base, and the highest number of casualties of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan.

There are also about 200 military widows in Killeen.

Many of these women were photographed and profiled for a story in last month's Glamour magazine. A few later sat down with Dozier to share their experience of being a widow to war.

Kimber Gordon, Linnie Blankenbecler and Ursula Pittle all lost their husbands in Iraq.

"I remember going into my backyard and howling like an animal because it hurt so bad," said Blankenbecler.

What followed was a grief so deep that she tried calling people to talk about her feelings, but she just couldn't say anything.

For Gordon, her first reaction was denial.

"I came up to Fort Hood when my husband's guys came home. And I met the buses. And as each one of 'em came in, I remember looking for my husband's face," she said.

Pittle and her husband had been married ten months when he died. She was eight months pregnant with their daughter.

"You're just numb in the beginning. You know, because I was pregnant, I couldn't stop eating, even though I wasn't hungry at all," she said.

Many military women don't just lose their husband; they lose their way of life, too. Others in the community often shun the women's grief, out of fear.

With a husband in Afghanistan and son in Iraq, Army wife Debbie Busch made it her mission to bring the families of the fallen back into the fold.

"We want the families to be cared for. We want to take care of them. We want them to have a place to come," Busch said.

That place is the Gold Star Family Support Center, located on base at Ft. Hood - across from a memorial dedicated to many of their husbands. Making them welcome here means they stay in a community that "gets it."

Remaining part of the community has helped many of Killeen's military widows move on.

Gordon opened a café in town, and Pittle keeps her energy going as a fitness instructor.

Some of the women have begun to move on and started dating, while others aren't ready.

"There's that 'It gets better with time,'" said Gordon. "It doesn't."

Still, the routine of life continues, and these widows of war remain committed to those soldiers who have dedicated their lives for country.

"You don't have to support the war to support the troops," Gordon said. "But there's a gentleman who puts on that uniform every morning."

The Gold Star Family Support Center is funded by private donors and is run by the loved ones of service members.


For more information, or to make a donation, visit the Gold Star Family Support Center Web site..

[hbevis]

I''''d like for you to go to the site with the 935 LIES told by that piece of HUMAN TRASH you called a President. THERE you will find the TRUTH that IRAQ was in NO way involved in any attack on us NOR did they have WMD''''s. Nothing I can think of, as a Veteran, is MORE UnAmerican than to sit by OR to do what YOU did, and defend trash like George W. Bush. He needs to be taken out back and strung up... PERIOD! SIEG HEIL BUSH

Posted by MCVet at 05:20 PM : May 26, 2008

To: MCVet. I know what you are saying and agree we don%u2019t have much of a President. But that is beside the point that I was trying to make. I know all about the 935 lies, etc.

We can%u2019t end this war at the moment. I don%u2019t like it any more than you do. But, do we want the blood of maybe a 100,000 people or more on our hands. The people we are fighting want us DEAD, period. And us leaving Iraq and Afghanistan is not going to stop them. Look at the European countries that have hundreds of thousands of them there already. Look at what they did in Spain a year or so ago.

I am a Veteran myself and a member of my family is set to go to Iraq in the next few months.

PLEASE GO BACK AND READ WHAT I WROTE AGAIN:

They need to be home but if we were to pull our Troops out right now there would be a blood bath to stagger the mind.

[mcvet]

Iraq and Afghanistan. These people know that if they can just hang-on long enough that the American crybabies will cause us to pull our men and women out and bring them home. And that would be great. They need to be home but if we were to pull our Troops out right now there would be a blood bath to stagger the mind.

So please everyone try and keep from running our Government down so much. It is not going to help one bit. In November we are going to elect a new President. And whoever it will be is up for grabs at this time. Of the three running now, one of them is going to be the one in office. And there will not be much that can be done right away, not matter how much that person wants to change. Our Country is to pre-occupied with the rights of a very small minority of the people. And I say that this small minority needs to just do the best they can because the 95 percent of the majority should have most of the say in what goes on in this Country.





Posted by hbevis at 04:44 PM : May 26, 2008
+ report abuse

I''d like for you to go to the site with the 935 LIES told by that piece of HUMAN TRASH you called a President. THERE you will find the TRUTH that IRAQ was in NO way involved in any attack on us NOR did they have WMD''s. Nothing I can think of, as a Veteran, is MORE UnAmerican than to sit by OR to do what YOU did, and defend trash like George W. Bush. He needs to be taken out back and strung up... PERIOD! SIEG HEIL BUSH

[sharncedar]

The whole military culture in the US is bizarre. I''m guessing the only people in the culture that even realize the truth, which is that the death and mayhem is not worth it and a big trick perpetrated by war profiteers, would be the guy who is actually dying in the feew minutes or seconds before he dies. As the bullet whacks into him, it probably becomes crystal clear that the whole thing was a sham and that the only honorable thing to do would have been to fight the leadership that created this bizarre cult of death.

But all the others involved in the bizarre death-loving cult we call the military just glory on after each death, trying to treat it like some positive news.

If it was such a great honour to die for the rich, you would see people like Cheney serving, rather than avoiding service like he did in Vietnam. They are laughing in the face of every dead soldier. Cheney is alive today enjoying a nice fat picnic while his betters from his generatino lie in pieces in some frickin field in Vietnam. Frickin pieces of garbage for Cheney and his fat rich firends to spit on. While Cheney gives vietnam a trade deal. Hell isn''t bad enough for that piece of garbage.

Dying for your country is honorable, dying for rich people and defense contractors is a horrible crime. These are homocide victims; they are victims of cannibalism; Bush and Cheney must be brought to justice.

[hbevis]

I keep seeing the notes on this CBS NEWS Site. Most of them are against the War that we are in, in Iraq. That is well and good, but there are to many people running down Mr. Bush and our government in general. All they are doing is giving moral support to the people fighting us in Iraq and Afghanistan. These people know that if they can just hang-on long enough that the American crybabies will cause us to pull our men and women out and bring them home. And that would be great. They need to be home but if we were to pull our Troops out right now there would be a blood bath to stagger the mind.

So please everyone try and keep from running our Government down so much. It is not going to help one bit. In November we are going to elect a new President. And whoever it will be is up for grabs at this time. Of the three running now, one of them is going to be the one in office. And there will not be much that can be done right away, not matter how much that person wants to change. Our Country is to pre-occupied with the rights of a very small minority of the people. And I say that this small minority needs to just do the best they can because the 95 percent of the majority should have most of the say in what goes on in this Country.

[jn122736]

"You don''t have to support the war to support the troops," Gordon said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That%u2019s exactly right and, in my opinion, the best support we can give our troops is to insist on ceasing the Iraq fiasco.

Bush apologists (including Bush and his entire administration), continue to hide behind the troops, by accusing all who criticize this Iraq fiasco of not supporting the troops and being unpatriotic.

[nbrdknkldgr]

These folks will be the new recruits for the military after they vote McSame into office for his war with Iran...