Connecting Via Online Dating

Early Show Tells How To Up Your Odds, In Series "How To Date In 2008"

(CBS) 

On The Early Show plaza Tuesday, singles got signed up for free at Match.com, and got free headshots taken.

Moore and Kriegel were joined by Janet Siroto, editorial director of Match.com, and by three online daters.

Siroto says looking for dates online doesn't make someone a nerd, signifying he or she can't get a date any other way.

"Not at all!" Siroto told co-anchor Maggie Rodriguez. " ... With everyone's lives being so busy, it's a terrific way to connect with people you wouldn't otherwise bump into."

Want to enhance your online dating experience? Try these success strategies from the experts at Match.com:

Use common sense, online and offline. If you met someone great at a party, set up a dinner date, and the other person said they’d need cab fare to meet you there, you’d think something was fishy, right? The same holds true online: If someone asks you questions that are too personal, requests money so they can come meet you, or anything else that makes you go, “Hmmm,” trust your gut and say "No."

Have a friend help you date online. They’ll see you in a different light. They can help identify your best traits as you write your profile, be a sounding board for the kind of people you really click with on dates, and help you search -- they may find great matches you never would have found yourself!

Be smart about the first date. Even though you may have developed a rapport with someone online and feel as if you really know them, follow the usual guidelines about your first meeting. Don’t invite the other person to your home, provide your own transportation, and meet in a well-trafficked public place in a neighborhood that you know your way around.

Pay attention to profiles. So you’re looking for a long-term relationship, but your eye is caught by a cutie whose profile says “looking for casual fun”? Take that person at his or her word. Know what your dating goals and deal-breakers are, and stick to them. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by contacting people who clearly aren’t a good fit.

Erika Moore’s Tips for Writing a Great Online Profile

Use humor whenever possible, or at least keep it light-hearted.

Tell stories (or give examples) instead of making lists. Instead of “I’m funny,” say, “I’m told my Chris Rock imitation is flawless.”

Spend some space talking about the kind of person you'd like to meet. People love to read, hear, and talk about themselves, even in theory. Help a potential match see that he or she might be the one for you.

Leave out the stuff about your jerk of an ex, or any other negativity. Nix the list of what you don’t want (“Users and cheapskates need not apply”) -- It’s fine to indicate you’d like to meet someone who’s generous and solvent.

Leave out the list of physical attributes you require in a partner (it’s fine to talk about good chemistry). Basically, the less rigid your agenda, on any front, the more appealing and approachable you’ll seem.

Spell check!

Kriegel's pointers about your photos

DON'T:

Party the night before. Get plenty of sleep and stay hydrated.

Wear clothes that will take the focus from your face (no wild patterns, huge jewlery/earings).

Use props in the pictures (glass of wine, your pet).

Arrive late to your photo shoot.

DO:

Dress and look as if you're going on a first date. Dress up, but not too much.

Bring at least three outfits, and more in case what you bring doesn't work. You want a total of three looks.

Use a makeup artist if one is within your budget

Wear long-sleeve shirts if you don't like how your arms look.

Wear solid-color tops that are darker then your skin tone.

Wear something you'll be comfortable in.

Bring a variety of necklines; narrow V-necks work for most people

Bring your own gel, hair dryer, curling iron, or hair brush, in case you need to make hair adjustments.

Relax and smile!

MEN:

A dark blue or black dress shirt will usually work great. Wearing a suit and tie is a bit much. Keep it dressy, but casual.

No Hawaiian shirts! (also applies for first dates!)

No t-shirts

No tight shirts

No busy, crazy patterns

WOMEN:

Dress sexy, but not skanky (unless that's part of your "look").

Don't show too much skin.

Wear something comfortable.

Avoid dress shirts; they'll make you look too "professional" and not "fun."

No big or busy patterns.

No t-shirts

Soft, dark V-necks look great

Black always works, and white hardly ever.

POSES

Your photographer is an expert in posing you in a way that looks natural. But here are some tips that will help you:

Relax. A photography session is a lot of fun, enjoy the experience!

Smile!

Make sure you look directly at the camera in most of the photos.

Men: Keep your shirt on, Even if you have a great body. Posing half-naked will not get you the quality date you're looking for (trust us on this one!).

Avoid playful or "funny bunny" poses; they're not appropriate for online dating photos. Keep it simple.

PROPS

Avoid them. Props tend to make you look cheesy and desperate. You may think holding a glass of wine in a suggestive pose is a great idea, but trust us, it's not. Holding a baseball bat doesn't work, either. Volley balls, mitts, tennis rackets, skates -- none of them works. So don't.

HAIR AND MAKEUP

Womem: We strongly recommend that you let a professional do your hair and makeup. Most of our photographers work with a make-up artist. Ask them to set up an appointment for you at the time of the shoot.

Men: We don't think most men need hair and makeup services. If you have any skin imperfections, we'd suggest you order a photo retouching service; our expert retouchers will digitally enhance your photo while keeping it totally natural-looking.

[qtracregal]

I''m a member of a site that''s FREE, for Women (sorry guys, don''t know, about you all): Matchdoctor.com
While I was one of the original members (under a different moniker--I''ve evolved, as the site has), the site NOW gives me-and, of course, allows ME to offer-more information on members, via BLOGGING.

I''ve placed everything from poetry to profile reviews, recipes to obituaries on mine. With so many features to offer, I and others are able to determine what they''re willing to risk sharing, and yet, give a fuller and more detailed glimpse, into who they are and what they''re seeking.

I''m honored to be a well-regarded blogger, and the luxury of several photos helps, too.

I don''t want a site, DETERMINING what I share, and I DO like that folks can make a Conscious Choice, to contact me, or I, them.

Kudos and Cuddling Hugs, to Matchdoctor;
QtrAcreGal

[simplemind2]

"People get help with resumes, she remarked to CBS News, so why not with love?"
To Up Your Odds - "The photos run about $200 dollars and up. And to revamp your online profile costs $750."

$950 only - Wah - that''s all it takes - less than 1 K - what a bargain!
This whole article is introducing a "shallow way" to find your lifetime mate!
Pity!
I thought "Temperament, Character, Education, Decent Family Traits...etc" should be the elements when one is looking for a permanent mate - not "How you should look" and "What you should be wearing"...etc.
But then I''m not a pundit.
Boy - was I so wrong about the next generation - case and point - HS graduate dressed so beautiful working in a nice restaurant, yet couldn''t even handle a
reservation due to having trouble with "Spelling" - you know the good-old "abcd..." stuff.
So sad and tragic.
Appearance could be deceiving - you can take that to the bank!

[fluffy711]

In 2001 I was widowed at the age of 55 after almost 38 years of marriage. After all those years of being with my husband, dating skills were something I didn''t even know existed. At 18 years old dating skills were then an instinct.
The computer became my late night companion. I chatted with both men and women just to keep in touch with the rest of the world.
It was not a dating site but a chat site where I met "my man". After 3 months of talking back and forth online and another 3 months of talking on the phone we finally meet in a Park 1/2 way between his house and mine. We lived 2-1/2 hours apart. That was in 2004.
Seventeen days ago on May 4th. we became husband and wife....amazing at our age! We smile, we laugh, we feel like kids again.
But because of online dating we first became friends. We know now that friendship will last us a lifetime.

Simplemind2, how is a college graduate supposed to look? Like Ted Bundy? Come on, that is such a shallow way of putting it. You are wright about one thing, if its too good to be true, it usually is.

[simplemind2]

A girl suing a man she claimed they met on one of the Internet''s chat-room.
She claimed that his MySpace profile listed him as "Stanford University" graduate and making 6 figure yearly salary.
The reason she brought him to people''s court was she alleged that he borrowed money from her and refused to pay her back.
Of course, he claimed she gave him those money as "Gifts".
She stated originally she thought he''s such a good catch - Stanford Grad and 6 figure yearly salary - which girl wouldn''t.
She also stated that she''s getting suspicious after they went out a couple of times and turned out it''s always that she has to pay for all their expenses.
Only after the court Judge queried him and found out not only he''s not a college Grad - he''s unemployed.
Folks - watch out.
I took a look at him and my response was "He doesn''t look like a college Grad to me at all"!
There are a lot of liars using the Internet to trick the innocent.
Too good to be true - generally is.

[handsome21]

Marybeth should let her hair grow enough to cover her ears.

[dcriswell604]

There was a time when people who looked for love online were embarrased to admit to it and if they did, most likely would get funny looks from others. However, that''s not so much the case these days.
I met my fiance'' on Match.com just over two years ago and am very happy to announce our wedding is just 2 weeks away. And we''re not shy at all about telling people how we met. It''s a pretty cool story and he''s an amazing man. I couldn''t be happier!
We had a wedding planned for this upcoming September at a friends home in Bridgehampton, NY, but have decided to run off to Key West and get married on Smathers Beach on June 4, 2008. We picked that date because it is the anniversary of the first time he ever told me he loved me.
Real men do exist and dreams do come true. And I found mine on Match.com.

[online98]

Just a tip from someone who met her soulmate online in 1998 and has been married now nearly 9 years to him. You don''t need to have a pro take your photos. Just get an online cam, that is very very important, nobody mentioned the online cam. People want to be able to chat online with you and see you. I was online dating prior to the online cam but I used a video cam hooked up to my computer back then and took still shots I could send in almost real time. That is how I took my online pictures for my profiles back then, you can take still shots from your online cam. Its much cheaper and you can just do it in the comfort of your own home, just make sure the room is well lit with two light sources and you can get a good effect. I remember using one fluorescent bulb and a regular room bulb that gave off a warmer glow. I guess some people need help with a profile too, but as for the photos, with the personal webcams out there, just do them yourself in my opinion. You will need a webcam anyway, to chat online.