Connecting Via Online Dating

Early Show Tells How To Up Your Odds, In Series "How To Date In 2008"

(CBS)  In our super-connected world, even finding love has gone high-tech.

As consumer correspondent Susan Koeppen pointed out Tuesday in The Early Show's weeklong series, "How To Date In 2008," millions of people are seeking love with the help of Web sites devoted to helping singles meet.

There are more than 1,000 such sites, helping singles match up by age, religion, activity -- you name it -- it's out there.

Experts offered advice on the show about online dating techniques, and making your online photos and profiles the best they can be. We also heard how a recent makeover of one attorney's online presentation is already helping her in the online dating arena.

Marybeth Rogers, 56, has been single for nearly 15 years, and says she's "very attracted to younger guys with lots of energy. ... I don't go out to bars and ... hang around and wait around for someone who's had enough to drink to say, 'I think I might like to talk to her.' "

Marybeth has tried online dating with what she describes as "disastrous" results. Over the years, she says, she's never gotten many dates using Web sites.

Enter Erika Moore, who runs a company that provides makeovers for online daters. It's called Romance Language.

Moore says, "There are lots and lots of good people online," but most people do a bad job of marketing themselves.

Case in point -- Marybeth.

So, we asked Moore to help Marybeth pump it up a bit and re-do her online profile.

What was Marybeth doing wrong?

"Pretty much everything, honestly," Moore told Koeppen.

To start with, Marybeth didn't have a good picture.

"The picture," Moore says, "is absolutely critical, because, without a good picture, people don't even look."

A bad picture or no picture is a big problem, Moore says.

And that's Roger Kriegel's area of expertise. He's a headshot photographer for Engage Design Studio.

We got Marybeth a new headshot.

Asked what some of the biggest mistakes are that people make with their pictures, Moore responded, "They use old ones. I've literally seen people use their high school graduation picture from you know, the '70s. I mean, it's crazy!"

Next, Moore worked with Marybeth on her screen name, which was mbru4me.

"The way this reads is a list of kind of random letters," Moore pointed out, "so, if a guy is seeing this along with a lot of other people, is he going to remember this? No."

Moore changed Marybeth's screen name to Dancing Defender "because she loves ballet, and she is a defense attorney. ... (Do) anything you can do to stand out."

And finally, putting the right words in your profile to attract the right kind of person is key.

"A guy who can just make me laugh is just heaven," Marybeth says.

Replied Moore: "Great, which reminds me -- you say you know how to make people laugh. OK. How do you make them laugh? Let's be specific."

The biggest miscue people make when writing about themselves online, Moore says, is negativity -- giving a list of what they don't want.

Marybeth's profile needed help in that department, so Moore "injected some humor in it. I put some stories in. I made it very positive, very much. I just wanted to sell her personality."

And boy, how things have changed for Marybeth!

After her online makeover, her profile got more than 100 hits in 48 hours, and probably more than 500 in two-and-a-half weeks. Of those, about 100 have asked to meet her, and she's corresponding with several.

Marybeth says she's not only impressed that so many men are looking, but by "the kind of guys who are responding. They are, I think, quality, quality guys."

So, is Marybeth optimistic she'll meet somebody?

"I think so," she says. "Yeah, I do. I really do."

She's already been on one date and is setting up more.

People get help with resumes, she remarked to CBS News, so why not with love?

The photos run about $200 dollars and up. And to revamp your online profile costs $750.

FOR SPECIFIC TIPS FROM THE EXPERTS, GO TO PAGE 2.

[qtracregal]

I''m a member of a site that''s FREE, for Women (sorry guys, don''t know, about you all): Matchdoctor.com
While I was one of the original members (under a different moniker--I''ve evolved, as the site has), the site NOW gives me-and, of course, allows ME to offer-more information on members, via BLOGGING.

I''ve placed everything from poetry to profile reviews, recipes to obituaries on mine. With so many features to offer, I and others are able to determine what they''re willing to risk sharing, and yet, give a fuller and more detailed glimpse, into who they are and what they''re seeking.

I''m honored to be a well-regarded blogger, and the luxury of several photos helps, too.

I don''t want a site, DETERMINING what I share, and I DO like that folks can make a Conscious Choice, to contact me, or I, them.

Kudos and Cuddling Hugs, to Matchdoctor;
QtrAcreGal

[simplemind2]

"People get help with resumes, she remarked to CBS News, so why not with love?"
To Up Your Odds - "The photos run about $200 dollars and up. And to revamp your online profile costs $750."

$950 only - Wah - that''s all it takes - less than 1 K - what a bargain!
This whole article is introducing a "shallow way" to find your lifetime mate!
Pity!
I thought "Temperament, Character, Education, Decent Family Traits...etc" should be the elements when one is looking for a permanent mate - not "How you should look" and "What you should be wearing"...etc.
But then I''m not a pundit.
Boy - was I so wrong about the next generation - case and point - HS graduate dressed so beautiful working in a nice restaurant, yet couldn''t even handle a
reservation due to having trouble with "Spelling" - you know the good-old "abcd..." stuff.
So sad and tragic.
Appearance could be deceiving - you can take that to the bank!

[fluffy711]

In 2001 I was widowed at the age of 55 after almost 38 years of marriage. After all those years of being with my husband, dating skills were something I didn''t even know existed. At 18 years old dating skills were then an instinct.
The computer became my late night companion. I chatted with both men and women just to keep in touch with the rest of the world.
It was not a dating site but a chat site where I met "my man". After 3 months of talking back and forth online and another 3 months of talking on the phone we finally meet in a Park 1/2 way between his house and mine. We lived 2-1/2 hours apart. That was in 2004.
Seventeen days ago on May 4th. we became husband and wife....amazing at our age! We smile, we laugh, we feel like kids again.
But because of online dating we first became friends. We know now that friendship will last us a lifetime.

Simplemind2, how is a college graduate supposed to look? Like Ted Bundy? Come on, that is such a shallow way of putting it. You are wright about one thing, if its too good to be true, it usually is.

[simplemind2]

A girl suing a man she claimed they met on one of the Internet''s chat-room.
She claimed that his MySpace profile listed him as "Stanford University" graduate and making 6 figure yearly salary.
The reason she brought him to people''s court was she alleged that he borrowed money from her and refused to pay her back.
Of course, he claimed she gave him those money as "Gifts".
She stated originally she thought he''s such a good catch - Stanford Grad and 6 figure yearly salary - which girl wouldn''t.
She also stated that she''s getting suspicious after they went out a couple of times and turned out it''s always that she has to pay for all their expenses.
Only after the court Judge queried him and found out not only he''s not a college Grad - he''s unemployed.
Folks - watch out.
I took a look at him and my response was "He doesn''t look like a college Grad to me at all"!
There are a lot of liars using the Internet to trick the innocent.
Too good to be true - generally is.

[handsome21]

Marybeth should let her hair grow enough to cover her ears.

[dcriswell604]

There was a time when people who looked for love online were embarrased to admit to it and if they did, most likely would get funny looks from others. However, that''s not so much the case these days.
I met my fiance'' on Match.com just over two years ago and am very happy to announce our wedding is just 2 weeks away. And we''re not shy at all about telling people how we met. It''s a pretty cool story and he''s an amazing man. I couldn''t be happier!
We had a wedding planned for this upcoming September at a friends home in Bridgehampton, NY, but have decided to run off to Key West and get married on Smathers Beach on June 4, 2008. We picked that date because it is the anniversary of the first time he ever told me he loved me.
Real men do exist and dreams do come true. And I found mine on Match.com.

[online98]

Just a tip from someone who met her soulmate online in 1998 and has been married now nearly 9 years to him. You don''t need to have a pro take your photos. Just get an online cam, that is very very important, nobody mentioned the online cam. People want to be able to chat online with you and see you. I was online dating prior to the online cam but I used a video cam hooked up to my computer back then and took still shots I could send in almost real time. That is how I took my online pictures for my profiles back then, you can take still shots from your online cam. Its much cheaper and you can just do it in the comfort of your own home, just make sure the room is well lit with two light sources and you can get a good effect. I remember using one fluorescent bulb and a regular room bulb that gave off a warmer glow. I guess some people need help with a profile too, but as for the photos, with the personal webcams out there, just do them yourself in my opinion. You will need a webcam anyway, to chat online.