Andy Likes His Tools

Andy Rooney Takes A Survey Of His Office Tools

(CBS)  This commentary was first published on May 18, 2008.

The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by CBS News correspondent Andy Rooney.

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Every once in a while I get looking around my desk and thinking about the tools I use during the day. A lot of them. I don't think the average carpenter goes out in the morning with any more tools than I have right here on my desk. Mine are smaller of course.

I always have elastic bands all over the place. Elastic bands are one of the greatest tools of modern times, right up there with the hammer and the screwdriver.

Scotch tape. I don't know how we started calling this Scotch tape? No Irish tape I know of. It was invented in by a man named Richard Drew in 1930. So why don't we call it Drew tape? Scotch tape is a great minor invention though.

I have several pairs of scissors on my desk. Big ones, small ones. I don't know why they call scissors a pair.

I keep about five pencils in here. I must use them because they are pretty short. My business is writing of course, so you'd think I'd have a lot of pencils and I do but now I use soft tip pens more than pencils. I haven't sharpened a pencil in years.

A little bottle of bourbon. Anyone seeing this on my desk would think I drink all day but this bottle has been in here for years and I've never opened it.

A staple remover. One of the great inventions of modern times. Better than staples, I think.

A letter opener. I don't use it this much anymore because Susie opens all my mail before I get at it.

A mirror, I don't know why I have a mirror. I don't look at myself that often but the mirror's always right here if I want to see what I look like.

I use Kleenex for a lot of different things.

The most intrusive thing on my desk is the telephone. It's a big ugly thing and I can't do without it. I get a lot of calls I don't want; and I wish the telephone had a different sound when it was someone that you didn't want to talk to.

[hulumahoe]

Andy its funny that you havent updated your phone. I have a ringer on my phone for when the debt collectors of the credit card companies call, so when I hear, "Red Red Wine", I know who it is and guess what I keep on what I am doing...

[irliberal]

As always, Andy''s a charming read. Thanks Andy!

[grammawhamma]

How are his wooden pencils getting shorter if he hasn''t sharpened them for years? Rubber bands are not the greatest tool of modern times~~~we all know duct tape is. LOL

[jsmithcsa]

3 minutes on the internet will tell you how Scotch tape got its name.

[extremophil]

Gee whiz, now I realize how big and intrusive my own desk phone is, sheeesh.

[newsjunky5]

Come to think of it, money is all that''s kept me out of this election, too. Radio and TV stations are required to broadcast a small amount of free, public service messages. Why not handle political races that way? Instead we allow it to be privately funded, which is out of reach of the average American.
Andy, time to open up that bottle of bourbon.

[jimfinster]

Andy, clearly you have no research staff:

To cut costs 3M applied the adhesive only to the edges of the tape. A remark was made by a St. Paul automobile detailer that the stingy Scotch bosses needed to put more adhesive on it, and the name has stuck ever since. Scotty McTape, a kilt-wearing cartoon boy, was the brand''s mascot for two decades, first appearing in 1944. The familiar plaid design, a take on the Wallace tartan, was introduced in 1945.

[rational_1]

The filthy rich, the really, really rich will do,
anything, ANYTHING, to keep Hillary out of the White
House. AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE DOING!!!!
Posted by truthyness at 10:38 AM : May 19, 2008

It''s a b!tch when the Valium prescription runs out, isn''t it?

[tommybuisnes]

Employment Contracts Oper~tor and Engineer local 324 injured on the job

Case description: Was injured on the job while working for Schreiber Roofing Corporation. Verbally informed my General Foreman of my injury and he denied me a referral, three medical notes from doctors. There were several men in and around his office each time. , tried informing my Union Operators and Engineers local 324 of this and they stated that it was upon the company and how they treat you , they then told me to inform my union representative at Ford Field Stadium. They worked me for two months until the President eventually got news and he immediately gave me a referral'' couldn''t even pick up a broom after they were done with me on light duty.Then on 01118/02 the company threw me off their proprety . , filed multiple charges against the company for the treatment'' received. Along with a charge against the company doctor to Sherry Cooper at the Attorney Generals office in regards to sending me back to work with a fully torn rotator cuff on light duty and then while working light duty my other arm tore and again she sent me back to work.
Went to WIC Trial and the General foreman lied to the Judge.

[michellem99-2009]

My tools are in my first post. Gramma I use to hear persons say once they/we started to use computer it be harder to go back to the olde type writter..I have not touched mine since Word.. My reason the print is too tiny. Word I can use large print in letter writing.