Bush Pokes Fun At Candidates

President Says Clinton Missed The Correspondent's Dinner Due To "Sniper Fire" And Obama Was At Church

(CBS)  President George W. Bush poked fun at his potential successors, expressing surprise that none of them were in the audience at the White House Correspondents' Association annual dinner.

"Senator McCain's not here," Bush said of Republican nominee-in-waiting John McCain. "He probably wanted to distance himself from me a little bit. You know, he's not alone. Jenna's moving out too."

Bush then referred to scandals that have dogged the campaigns of the two remaining Democratic candidates, Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama, in explaining their absence: "Hillary Clinton couldn't get in because of sniper fire and Senator Obama's at church."

The president admitted to being "a little wistful" Saturday night in his final appearance at the dinner, showing video clips of his routines from previous years. He finished by conducting the U.S. Marine Band in a medley of patriotic marches.

Bush was followed by Craig Ferguson, the host of CBS' "Late Late Show."

The Scottish-born Ferguson was expected to find middle ground between the tepid impersonations of last year's entertainer, Rich Little, and the merciless satire that Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert delivered in 2006.

The guest list for the dinner includes plenty of VIPs from outside Washington: Actors Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, John Cusack, Pamela Anderson and Claire Danes, singers Ashlee Simpson and the Jonas Brothers and author Salman Rushdie were among the invitees. Washington's power elite was still well represented, with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff in attendance.

The White House Correspondents Association was formed in 1914 as a liaison between the press and the president. Every president since Calvin Coolidge has attended the dinner.

[blancadebree]

The Decider kills. No really he kills. Just ask 4,000 plus service member. They are laughing. Laughing in their graves.

I hope Commander Guy plans to take his show on the road. Maybe he can join up with Cheney and do some road shows like Hope and Crosby.

Look out, they are on the road to Tehran!

Blanca DeBree
http://blancadebree.blogspot.com

[trishab4]

The Liar-Liar-in-Cief was Clown-in-Chief tonight. He made many laugh at him. What an idiot president, God set on top of our nation. Does God hate us or what?

Bush''s joke is about as funny as his missing WMD''s in Iraq. This man who has no credibility dares to make fun of anyone, let alone two outstanding candidates who make three of him!!!

[cfin5]

I just want to thank the President for his service to us. I don''t always agree with you, but considering the turmoil that occurred during your term, I think you did a good job. Prolonged wars are not popular with America, nor are they with me. We can only judge you by what we see to be the truth, not by the secret things that you are true. I''m sure you understand our passion. How else is an American supposed to act with our 1st. Amendment rights,......not use it? By the way, congratulations to Mrs. Bush and you on your daughters wedding. I wish the best for their marriage and health of their family.

[cfin5]

.........not by the secret things that you "know" are true. -I hate when I mess up :)

[haoli25]

Bush is such a ***. He needs to **** for the next 8 months.

[rowdytexan2]

You have to admit Bush has a good joke writer...but he needs to work on his delivery! The silence for about five minutes before the prompter has to motion everybody to laugh gets worse every year....and his back and forth eye routine while waiting for laughs is usually better than the jokes themselves.

"Poor George! He was born with a silver foot in his mouth!"...Ann Richardson, my hero!

[jonesforch]

Wow the truth lol to funny.

[harp1963]

He''s a funny guy.

It''s to funny that George had to have his dental records pulled to show he actually had been on the base of his air national gaurd unit.

Actually his jokes are almost as funny as Cheney pretending to be the big defender of freedom when he got five deferrments from Vietnam.

Let''s see what one of the Republican Party''s most respected members had to say about George:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/01/09/60minutes/main592330.shtml

[bluestardad]

BUSH WAS DRINKING OIL WITH HIS FAMILY FRIENDS THE BIN LADENS!

AMERICA STAND UP OR SHUT UP!

[incog-nito]

So, Bush acknowledges that McCain is distancing from him. But does it occur to him WHY? If he''s doing such a great job? Probably not.

I bet Larry Craig was there to lend GW Bush a "helping hand".

[snbd1213]

He doesn''t know how to tell a joke, even when someone goes to the trouble of writing one for him. Can he do anything right? I doubt it, because he hasn''t done it yet and his time is running out. (Thank God)

[harp1963]

Funny George Bush quotes:

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." --interview with CBS News'' Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." %u2014LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

"You work three jobs? %u2026 Uniquely American, isn''t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you''re doing that." %u2014to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren''t able to practice their love with women all across this country." %u2014Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" %u2014Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." %u2014Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." %u2014Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

harp1963 wrote:

""You work three jobs? Uniquely American, isn''t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you''re doing that." - to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005"

That one always gets me - but then, that''s what people need to do to survive, thanks to his failed policies.

[bluestardad]

LARRY CRAIG LOVES THE TEXAS DICKTATER GEORGE BUSH!

[jerr11]

When this Liar-in-Chief is not at play poking fun and dancing in New Orleans, he''s sending young men and women to die for his Halliburton war in Iraq.

A President from Hell!

[jerr11]

After the dinner, this Liar-in-Chief will go home and prepare for that big wedding extravaganza for daughter Jenna.

And after the dancing and playing is over, this Liar-in-Chief will go back to his oval office and send more young men and women to die in Iraq.

A war built on 935 LIES.

George W Bush - Son of Satan!

Damned for all time!

[watcher269-2009]

Forces hostile to the United States grow strong in the late
20th Century.

A great moral crisis grips the nation as social
revolution and a breakdown of the criminal justice system threaten society.

To protect and defend its citizens, the United
States Police Force is formed.

he population of Los Angeles grows to 40 million.
The city is ravaged by crime and immorality. A Presidential candidate
predicts a millennium earthquake will destroy the city in divine
retribution.

An earthquake measuring 9.6 on the Richter scale
hits at 12:59 p.m., August 23rd, in the year 2000.

After the devastation, the constitution is damned,
and the newly elected President accepts a lifetime term of office.

Fearing a massive terrorist invasion from South
America, the United States prepares for war. The Great Wall is built along
the southern border, cutting off the flow of illegal aliens.


Street gangs, South American terrorists and the
criminally insane capture Los Angeles, the once-great City of Angels.

Now an island on the border of civilization, L.A.
is a no-man''s land of chaos, anarchy and darkness.

The United States Police Force, like an army, is
encamped in the San Gabriel Mountains.

The President''s first act as Permanent
Commander-in-Chief is Directive 17: protect and defend the United States
from this island of the damned, Hell on Earth.

[watcher269-2009]

I bet Larry Craig was there to lend GW Bush a "helping hand".

Posted by mcdazz

-------------

Yes he was! But is was under the bathroom stall wall!

[sgtrds]

Bush is a joke and an embarrassment everytime he opens his mouth. He needs to **** and go back to his phony "ranch" in Texas before he kills again.

[downtowner97]

Too bad Bush wasn''t in such a funny mood when Steve Colbert was at the correspondent''s dinner two years ago.

[sgtrds]

The biggest fu*cking joke ever to try to pretend to be a national leader actually has the gall to make fun of someone else. It''s the height of hypocrisy. The sad part is that that his joke of an administration has murdered tens of thousands of innocent human beings, including 4,000 plus of our own troops. And there''s nothing funny about a mass murderer like him.

[sgtrds]

George W. Bush is lower then maggot puke. He''s the sh*it billy goats won''t eat. He''s not even a human ****king being. He''s pond scum wearing a suit pretending to be human. The only thing that breaths that is lower then him is that piece of sh*it Cheney. Both of them deserve to rot in whatever hell they pretend to believe in.

[sgtrds]

Just look at the picture of this as*shole Bush with this story. How anyone could look at that ignorant face and not cringe with embarrassment that this piece of garbage alledgelly is the president of the US is beyond me. Accepting him as president takes the same personality type as a beaten women whose self respect is so low that they think they deserve to be sh*it on like he''s done to our nation.

[taylor2124]

SgtRDS, you make me laugh really loud!!. So, if Bush is a piece of garbage, where does that put YOU? HA HA. The man graduated Yale, was governor of Texas, and was elected President of the USA TWICE. So, if he is garbage that must make you, say....the flea in the rect*um of a dead gopher in the an*us of a dead snake living in a sewer, by comparison? Face it, Sgt, you are a fu*king loser. A L%u2014O%u2014S%u2014E---R. Bush accomplishes more on a 5-minute toilet break than YOU will accomplish in your whole 85-year lifetime. You, sir, are a LOSER.

[jackie0428]

HA HA Good one Taylor 2124. You totally OWNED that as*swipe SgtRDS. Sgt is a total jerk anyway. Glad you put that piece of dogsh*t in his place.

[rudy654-2009]

Posted by taylor2124 at 02:28 AM

Apparently Bush is your tin god. Wow! Just because mommy and poppy have lots of money and can make sure your rear end goes to Yale, don''t mean a thing, sweety pie. If all these Yale graduates were worth the powder to blow them to hell, then the world would possibly be a better place.

[rudy654-2009]

Posted by jackie0428 at 02:30 AM

Redneck jokes are so funny!

[johnshaft4]

The funniest joke is when the Chimp looks in the mirror asttempting to fabricate a well regarded legacy/fantasy.

[Renegade.Rivers]

I don''t Bushit. if he comes on, I change the channel, after all I know how to tell if he is lying, its easy, his mouth is moving. If what Bush has done is called accomplishment, then I''d rather be a failure. Bush may have the dollars, but he got shortchanged, because he''s got no sense to go along with it. Bush claims he''s quit drinking, but after some of the decisions he''s made, he''d have been better off to have claimed he was drunk when he made them. He''s even planning to write a book after he leaves the White House, there is talk it will be a how-to book, it will be a telling book on how to fool ''em all once, and fool most of ''em, twice.

[harrydoghiny]

One big, happy family. A sickening display of our so-called "free press"

[eddynewhope]

Hey Taylor - you fug ****. Bush set our nation back 40 years in terms of foreign policy, and set our economy into a depression with a treasonous war based on lies, torture, spying on US citizens, AWOL from the National Guard, Chicken-hawk, reneg on Kyoto, Katrina, etc. etc. etc. Bush is indeed a piece of garbage and you, SIR, are the fuggin looser. No matter what you think you *** - history will judge W. as it should: The worst leader in American history. Our very own American Nero watching Rome burn as he leaves office and giggles on his way out of office like the monkey he is - which is an insult to monkeys.

[abmitus]

Ain''t nothing funny about $4 a gallon gas dummy.

[abmitus]

Ain''t nothing funny about $4 a gallon gas dummy.

[samrensho]

under sniper fire???

The only thing Bush has ever been under is "under the influence". Pathetic POS.

[j_flood]

End of an error; 01.20.09

[trbundro1277]

Instead of actually trying to be doing something to help the economy, Texas village idiot Bush, is trying to be a funny man. Maybe he should step down from the presidency and make that his full time job, not that he has ever had a full time job anyways! What an idiot Bush is. If I had to sell things over the phone, I would want to call the idiots that voted for him, because those voters sure are gullable!

[nonayabiness]

VIP - Ashlee Simpson???? Give me a freaking break!

[nonayabiness]

I don''t find it funny or entertaining in the least that Mr. Bush feels he is in any position to poke fun publicly at anyone else, given his reputation.

[johngoodnews]

Lighten up. There''s good in everybody. Since when has America been the nation of angry resignation to adversity with a weeping, wailing and knashing of teeth its signature response? Geez. Get a grip. There are a whole lot of people on this planet with a whole lot less going for them than anyone is facing here, and we''ll get over our problems and come out even stronger for it. The Rev. Wrights and Limbaughs and the socially irresponsible commercial and health interests are easily dispatched from our National pysche by merely ignoring them and doing what needs to be done. And it will happen. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but pretty soon. In the meanwhile, there''s a lot to be happy about if we ignore the Cassandras in the press and just start, in good humor, like we would with wayward children: spank those who are misbehaving, and lock them in their rooms for some time out.

[neoconrcrazy]

the emperor without clothes is the laughing stock of the world, except in iraq where his actions have left only death 6 destruction.

legacy? let us hope we are able to forget he ever existed.

[trishab4]

HA HA Good one Taylor 2124. You totally OWNED that as*swipe SgtRDS. Sgt is a total jerk anyway. Glad you put that piece of dogsh*t in his place.
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Posted by jackie0428 at 02:30 AM : Apr 27, 2008

-jackie0428, you sound like an whipped fatty nazi bootlicker, with a bibull in one hand and a d!ldo in the other. Trashy little thing!

[hypnotoad72]

Wow.

""Senator McCain''s not here," Bush said of Republican nominee-in-waiting John McCain. "He probably wanted to distance himself from me a little bit. You know, he''s not alone. Jenna''s moving out too.""

From the President''s perspective, he is coping with rather a lot right now.

Then there''s "Hillary Clinton couldn''t get in because of sniper fire and Senator Obama''s at church."

Well, Bush has had articles posted about his faith and how he goes to church. I know Wright has said some dumb things, some taken out of context, others not, but the principle behind faith is community, support, and togetherness under a common cause. And those who denounce the church seem to forget those reasons. Even some who do don''t understand those concepts either, but that doesn''t necessarily comment on anyone mentioned in the source article. (I''ve had my own experiences with people at churches...)

Which church is Hillary going to where they have snipers? Is it in a war zone like Iraq?! I honestly don''t understand his comment about sniping.

[mcvet]

Has there ever been a more disgusting piece of Human Trash... EVER in the history of man. Will this year ever end.. it seems like its been a decade already! This is ONE New Year I intend to enjoy very much! Sieg Heil Bush

[mcvet]

Lighten up. There''''s good in everybody. Since when has America been the nation of angry resignation to adversity with a weeping, wailing and knashing of teeth its signature response? Geez. Get a grip. There are a whole lot of people on this planet with a whole lot less going for them than anyone is facing here, and we''''ll get over our problems and come out even stronger for it. The Rev. Wrights and Limbaughs and the socially irresponsible commercial and health interests are easily dispatched from our National pysche by merely ignoring them and doing what needs to be done. And it will happen. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but pretty soon. In the meanwhile, there''''s a lot to be happy about if we ignore the Cassandras in the press and just start, in good humor, like we would with wayward children: spank those who are misbehaving, and lock them in their rooms for some time out.


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Posted by johngoodnews at 06:31 AM : Apr 27, 2008
+ report abuse

Are YOU living on another planet? THIS is the most hated man on the planet. A man who has LIED to the American PEOPLE over and over again, killed their son''s and daughters for no reason and completely distroyed our economy. We should ALL, everyone of us, see NO humor in anything this lower than life sub human say... NONE!! Sieg Heil Bush

[idnnsg]

This isn''t really an attempt at humor. He is just trying to reinforce the lies that his "base" (id.iots) believe. You''ve read the posts here. To the id.iots, the fact that Obama''s pastor spoke words they can''t understand is sufficient grounds to HATE Obama. They GOP smear factory has lit the fire, and the prez wants to stoke the embers.

[mcvet]

HA HA Good one Taylor 2124. You totally OWNED that as*swipe SgtRDS. Sgt is a total jerk anyway. Glad you put that piece of dogsh*t in his place.
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Posted by jackie0428 at 02:30 AM : Apr 27, 2008

Really? You freaks seem to enjoy doing ugly and dispicable things to American''s who do not like the "Party"! Say are you one of those Nazi''s who''s working to assure Riots and Killing in Denver this summer? Disgusting slime, these Nazi''s! Sieg Heil Bush

[mcvet]

This isn''''t really an attempt at humor. He is just trying to reinforce the lies that his "base" (id.iots) believe. You''''ve read the posts here. To the id.iots, the fact that Obama''''s pastor spoke words they can''''t understand is sufficient grounds to HATE Obama. They GOP smear factory has lit the fire, and the prez wants to stoke the embers.



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Posted by IDNNSG at 07:37 AM : Apr 27, 2008

LOL Very true! The Problem is the results is NOT what the Reich intended. Sieg Heil Bush

[hungry1968]

Ha ha!! Pretty funny stuff!!

Maybe you could make a joke about Karzi dodging sniper fire? Especially since YOU "cut-and-ran" from the war on terror, and left bin Laden and crew able to regroup and attempt an assassination on your counterpart.

Or maybe you could crack a joke about all the soldiers that you killed FOR NOTHING?

Maybe you could say something witty about the economy slipping from a recession, into a depression?