Meet The Dream Ticket: Obama-Kerry '08

Weekly Standard: Candidate Needs Serious Running Mate; Besides, It'd Be Fun!

(Weekly Standard)  This column was written by Dean Barnett.

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With the Lioness of Tuzla's campaign taking on still more water and her path to victory looking all but impossible, Barack Obama has emerged as the overwhelming favorite. And you know what that means — soon everyone will be talking about who Obama should select as his running mate.

Let's first discuss what Obama requires in a running mate. Obviously, he desperately needs someone who will balance out his unprecedented lack of experience. The most important thing that needs addressing is his flimsy (i.e. non-existent) military bona fides. Chances are, the analysts will unanimously dictate that Obama needs a veteran on the ticket.

But Obama's credentials deficit runs much deeper. Obama is equally inexperienced in everything else that matters, too. For instance, there's no reason to believe that he's particularly economically literate, or that he's savvy in the ways of congressional dealings. We've learned this week that he certainly doesn't know the way to the Senate's secret underground bowling alley.

But these are mere pragmatic concerns, and I know the Obama campaign likes to exist on a loftier plane. Therefore, I'll try to discuss things in terms that David Axelrod and perhaps even Obama himself will appreciate. After endorsing Obama, Bill Richardson explained that he did so because, "In my view, Senator Obama represents our best hope of replacing division with unity." That's swell, but one can imagine a lot of voters thinking, "Unity sounds really neat, but right now I'm really concerned about rising gas prices and the plummeting value of my house." At some point, the Obama campaign will have to find a way to tether itself to more earthly matters than the problems Obama prefers addressing. The running mate selection will be a milestone event in that process.

Some people think the aforementioned Richardson would make a good ticket-mate. Sorry — he wouldn't, even if he lost the unbecoming facial hair. In spite of the media's impressive effort to turn a guy who earned about 2 percent of the Democratic party's support in the primaries into a kingmaker when he endorsed Obama, Richardson, as evidenced by his performance in those primaries, is a second-rater. Additionally, in spite of his really nice résumé, Richardson has gravitas issues of his own. Let's not forget that Governor Richardson spent decades boasting about the Oakland A's drafting him when no such thing had occurred.

In the lefty blogosphere, Jim Webb has emerged as Obama's dream running mate. While Webb certainly has the military bona fides for the job, he's only been in the senate for 15 months. Now, please don't take what follows the wrong way — I like Jim Webb and got a lot of heat for saying nice things about him during his race with George Allen. But I don't think Jim Webb is a great politician or even a particularly good one. I don't consider a razor-thin victory over an incumbent who ran the worst campaign in memory the mark of a political titan. Webb also has little tolerance for foolishness, which suggests that he should stay as far away from presidential politics as possible.

Besides, Obama needs someone with a thicker political résumé than Webb's. Webb has strength in one area, and Obama has weaknesses in every area. What Obama really needs is an éminence grise, a senior figure who oozes seriousness on an array of issues. Unfortunately for Obama, he's a Democrat, and the Democratic party hasn't made a hospitable home for serious people this decade. For goodness sakes, the last two chairmen of the party have been Terry McAuliffe and Howard Dean. As law professors like Barack Obama say, "Res ipsa locquitur."

Yet there is one man that Barack Obama can turn to who will fill all the ticket's needs. That man is John Kerry. We've already discussed how Obama needs a serious running mate, and Kerry at least looks serious. Besides, Kerry is haughty and dour, two traits which are sort of bastard cousins to seriousness. Additionally, if my memory serves correctly, Kerry spent time in the armed forces and even had a tour of duty in Vietnam. And although he's gotten nothing done in the Senate, at least he's been there forever.

Unlike the almost presumptive nominee, Kerry is a fine debater. How good was Kerry in the 2004 debates? The New York Times described his fluid performance in his first joust with George W. Bush by exclaiming, "He moved gracefully. Mr. Bush slouched and stayed coiled tight, but Mr. Kerry seemed at times to be waltzing with his partner, the lectern. Mr. Kerry moved his hands almost continuously, at one point folding them over his heart like a French mime as he explained that he felt 'nothing but respect' for Tony Blair and British soldiers serving in Iraq." A French mime? Waltzing with his lectern? Need I say more?

Kerry would also bring certain pragmatic, political advantages to the fray. Kerry has been vetted. No surprises will emerge about John Kerry. Well, maybe a few minor ones from Bob Shrum's back-stabbing memoir (like Kerry's juvenile behavior at a campaign get-together with Peter, Paul & Mary), but nothing major. And Kerry's presence on the ticket will make this election more of a referendum on the Bush administration. I know Obama prefers looking forward rather than backwards, but a little glance of this sort in the rearview mirror would help his chances considerably.

I know what you’re thinking: Why would I, a conservative partisan, give the Obama campaign such valuable free advice? This actually would concern me were it not for two factors: 1) I'm quite confident the Obama campaign doesn't care what I think; and 2) I'm even more confident that John Kerry is doing everything he can to further his ambitions on his own. I've been a Kerry constituent for almost 25 years. (It feels like longer.) I know he's still scheming his way to the presidency, and a spot on the Obama ticket would put him back in the game.

But I must confess an ulterior motive for my pining for an Obama/Kerry ticket. Things have gotten dull around here. Every day, we have to write about the latest development that defines Barack Obama. The little lies, the habitual evasions, the avoidance of substance — each day we get fresh evidence that Obama is a lot more like the typical politician than the country believes. It's an important story, one that has to be covered.

And I will cover it. But is it too much to ask of the Obama campaign that while it makes me slog through this drudgery, it also provides me with the endless entertainment that another national John Kerry campaign will surely provide?

Ah, the times we had! Like when John and Teresa went to a Wendy's with the Edwards to prove they were regular folks but didn't eat and had a sumptuous catered feast waiting for them at their hotel. Or when he promised his advisors he wouldn't go windsurfing and did so anyway. Or when he called a Secret Service agent a cuss word for allegedly making him stumble on the ski slopes, declaring to the media, "I don't fall."

Just the thought of fresh, anguished cries of "Swiftboating!!!!!" brings a smile to my face. Besides, doesn't the country deserve to see what kind of relationship would develop between Michelle Obama and Teresa Heinz Kerry?

[stirg]

HA, HA, HA, you repupugnunts have been laying in the weeds doing your damdest to try and get Obama as the nominee-seeing him as the easiest to beat-sending the minions of"rushies out to create "CAOS" in the democratic party with their screaming and name calling on all the blogs-we see what you are trying to do, WAKE UP obama supportors and Hillary supportors we DO have a common enemy--lets hit them with both barrels.I am an independant, I''m voting for Hillary in the primary and expect her to take the nomination and squish your pork belly- repub butts like a bad pimple, a blemish on the skin of America-a pus filled infection on our country-OUT BAD SPOT-And if its Obama as the nominee-I will vote for him, in the same way I voted for Kerry-as a vote against republican policies-so please-hold your breath while you are waiting for a republican victory-PLEASE

[apprxam]

(That should be free-willed) con''t

We lose jobs to areas south of the border in Latin America without realizing or caring that they have been disadvantage by America''s western hemiphere blockade to keep the goodies from Europe but not to the mutual benefit of South Americans, but send jobs down there and all hell breaks lose. Well that''s the way everyone of those Middle East, Asian and South Americans feel about the United States.

[apprxam]

Ed Schultz called McCain a warmonger and then the calls for Obama to refute yet another fell-willed individual. But the truth is that the American people, yes we, are the warmongers. 19 men without identification and using cash broke through a broken system airports, airline, flight school, integence agencies and the biggest criminal organization at fault besides politicians, the F.B.I. Many institutions, on many levels of importance have been embarassed and we dodn''t, and still don''t know what to do. So we lean on the big, bad military complex machine because we''re ativistic and couldn''t find too much in them for attacks.

We wanted to strick at something and that was Iraq and Sadaam. Funny thing thoug, we we chasing the guilty party and forgot we needed oil or something and started a sickening and discordant harmony of plastic and in many ways, forced patriotism. Now we wnat to blame the NY Times (evil as they are) not ourselves. The most pathetic phrases trundled on the cablre airwaves over these many years since 2001..."Why do they hate us" and "they hate our freedom". To the latter, we''re chocking on that ourselves. The former may have been excuse earlier because most of us didn''t know what Afghanistan was, but now it should be clear the history this government has had in that region and evidently it hasn''t been too nice.

[unsung212]

Obama/Kerry make me puke. The democrats only voted for Kerry because he was a the lesser of two losers in the last presidential election. Now we have two democratic candidates that are electable. One will be the winner. Let all of the people speak and then we will have a new democratic president. Let''s be patient and learn about the candidates so we don''t have to vote on the lesser of two evils and have a surprise at the last minute. Truly this is the most talked about election in my generation. This is fun! Let the controversies continue so we know which candidate is the best for our country!

[apprxam]

Obama-Kerry? Who wrote this joke, Comedy Central? Guess what, Democrats, you''re going to lose again, because you''ve no idea how to pick a presidential candidate. All hail the Bush-crime family.

[getcentered]

The trillion plus we waste in Iraq could have done so much more for our security or economy if spent on just about anything else.

I guess I would call myself %u201Coptimist%u201D, but right now I%u2019m more %u201Cmad%u201D than anything. I%u2019ll vote for Obama, but I%u2019ll also vote for Hillary. My optimism makes me a Democrat. Even if Obama doesn%u2019t win the election I%u2019m still glad he%u2019s out there%u2026%u2026same with Hillary%u2026.

Republicans are sad; an angry tragedian%u2026the worst America has to offer%u2026

We have yet to endure the tactical and strategic blunder that the war in Iraq really is.

I know! Why don''''t we bomb other countries that have schools, water, power, and police for their people? We can quickly lower the population, while creating enemies for our industrial military complex?

How''''s that sound Republicans?

Bush Sees "Defining Moment" In Iraq? He saw WMD, Al Qaeda; mobile weapons labs, terrorist training facilities, missiles that could reach New York, 45-minute ready chemical weapons, none of which were there.

What he will see is his legacy and his Parties demise, but at least I got my $600 %u201Ctax-rebate%u201D check from China!!

You wanna get some Republicans?....lets go.........other wise go sit in the corner with your talking point spewing fallacy of a constituency.....

%u201CThe great Rousseau said it:
"...Conservatives have learned nothing and forgotten nothing"

[getcentered]

Stupid Americans....we are %u201Cseek and yee shall find%u201D when we are looking for a reason to discredit someone, but when we know there is a reason to discredit someone we like, we put the blinders on.........go figure..........Americans think ID is science......whew.......Guess the GOP doesn''t want anyone to know the facts they just want you to know they are "right".

With 8 years of failure by conservatives and you have a cocktail for a beatdown. How is John McCain going to inspire the voter turnout for his party? His great speeches? Conservative talk radio? His flip-flop talk express bus overstuffed with Lobbyists? We all love to engage in punditry but the facts are the facts. Repubs do not have the votes to win. Outside of a total collapse (And I mean TOTAL colapse, not merely a split of the electorate)the Dem party they can offer up a broccoli f-art in a jar and still gain the White House. What planet are you conservatives living on? Your Reagan Democrat pink cloud from 20+ years ago?

[hbevis]

I am not a liberal either, whats Ironic is the information that I posted came from Democrat Journalists. You would of thought this stuff came from right wingers. I dont enjoy posting on the internet, I would rather be out with my family, However until the news starts giving it to the american straight about all potential presidents, I wont stop. My future and my childrens are too important to have a socialist american hater pro-hamas president. Take the blinders off.

Posted by obama8years at 12:39 PM : Apr 06, 2008
AMEN TO THAT....

[obama8years]

I also heard the quote..
"Tell me who your friends are and ill tell you who you are."

Posted by obama8years at 12:28 PM : Apr 06, 2008

I''''m not a liberal BTW though some of my friends are.
--------------------------------------------------
I am not a liberal either, whats Ironic is the information that I posted came from Democrat Journalists. You would of thought this stuff came from right wingers. I dont enjoy posting on the internet, I would rather be out with my family, However until the news starts giving it to the american straight about all potential presidents, I wont stop. My future and my childrens are too important to have a socialist american hater pro-hamas president. Take the blinders off.

[bgwinnett]

Both end''s of the political spectrum lie. That''s why I hate most politicians.