Andy Goes To The Dogs

(CBS)  The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by CBS News correspondent Andy Rooney.

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There are half a dozen things I do once every year: I go to the dentist, I go to the Super Bowl, I go to a restaurant that's too expensive to go to twice, and I go to the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in Madison Square Garden.

I talked to a lot of the dogs at the show this year and I can't get over how friendly they all are. I have never met a mean dog at the dog show. I like the dogs better than their handlers usually. Some handlers do really dumb things to their dogs, tying ribbons in their hair. A dog doesn't want a colored ribbon in his hair. They tie up their ears in an unnatural position.

There were a few really homely dogs this year. One is called a Chinese Crested something, from Poland. Now, why would anyone bother to bring a dog this homely all the way from Poland? Probably flew first class, too.

You see a lot of dogs in the dog show that you never see anywhere else. I often don't know what kind of a dog I'm talking to.

They said one was called a Black Russian Terrier. We missed seeing the bulldogs at the show this year. Spencer was the bulldog my family grew up with.

There was also what they call a Clumber Spaniel that someone put a hat on. Leave the dog alone, for goodness sake.

The thing you notice is how interested the dogs are in eating. The handlers always have something for them to eat in their hand. It's the only thing that motivates dogs.

Handlers want their feet one way, the dogs want them another. Handlers are never satisfied with the way their dog holds its tail.

I came away with one strong feeling. There ought to be a show where dogs show their handlers.
Written By Andy Rooney

[murasake]

Perhaps the dogs are nicer to you than the handlers are, Andy, because the dogs don''t speak English and don''t know that you''re mocking and insulting them. That Chinese Crested is a lovely dog, and Cresteds are friendly, affectionate, entertaining dogs to live with--definitely worth a first class ticket, unlike some people who think they prove how clever they are by insulting dogs.

Some of the other things you sneered at--the wrapped ears, the "hat", etc.--are to protect a carefully-groomed dog while waiting to go in the ring. That''s not how the dogs "dress" while chasing rabbits, digging in the backyard, or sleeping on the couch--which most of them get to do when they''re not at a show. Yes, Andy, just like you, they have work days and kick-back days. And I''ll bet CBS doesn''t let you on the air just the way you rolled out of bed, either.

[grammawhamma]

For once I enjoyed Andy''s comments. He seemed to truely like the dogs and they liked him back...so Andy can''t be all bad.

I bet the show dogs would rather be digging holes in the backyard and chasing rabbits than having their hair put in curlers. Fame sometimes just isn''t worth it.

[nj2428]

Hey Andy,

You wondered how all of those dogs can see with all of that hair in their eyes...well, how can you see with those caterpillars ABOVE your eyes?

Just curious...