On The Red Carpet At The "Oscars Of Porn"
Bill Geist Brings Us An Awards Extravaganza Unthreatened By The Writers' Strike
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"Actors" or "performers"? There's no parsing words at the annual awards show devoted to honoring the best in adult film. (CBS)
With the Golden Globes ceremony cancelled by the writers' strike, and the Oscars threatened, film fans were starved for red carpet glitz!
Don't worry, we're here to help.
We visited the red carpet of one of the most overlooked extravaganzas in show business … the Oscars of porn
Yes, the stars are out tonight. They're almost completely out.
In my best Joan Rivers guise, I asked one young woman about the black dress she was wearing, or more accurately perhaps, not wearing.
Frankly, she was attired but she admitted she was not wearing any underwear.
I was. Well, one out of two ain't bad.
And of course you have to ask those on the red carpet if they're nervous.
A woman named Audrey said, "Yes, you know it's the funniest thing, I can [bleep], [bleep] and [bleep-bleep], yet to say 'thank you' for an award would be nerve-wracking."
You should also ask them about their work, their art, their films. The plot, perhaps?
"Actually, there is one ironically," another woman named Sammy said. "There's a Tupperware party. And we were supposed to be a bunch or ritzy housewives showing each other how to use our Tupperware and then [bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep]."
Yes, the 25th Annual AVN Adult Movie Awards ceremony went ahead last weekend in Las Vegas - unaffected by the writers' strike, perhaps because porn films have so little dialogue.
Stormy Daniels was up for 25 awards, including best screenplay and best director. "A lot of people don't believe there are screenplays in porn," she told Geist. "'Operation: Desert Stormy' has an 82-page screenplay, so there's a lot of dialogue, yes."
"When do you talk?" Geist asked.
"Between sex."
The red carpet was awash with with porn celebrities, like Tera Patrick and Hall of Famers Dyana Lauren and Steven St. Croix.
But the biggest star in this parallel universe is Jenna Jameson, accompanied by ultimate fighter Tito Ortiz.
She's a crossover star, as they say, having appeared on hundreds of magazine covers, written a book that was a NY Times bestseller, "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" (HarperCollins), and even been enshrined in Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. It doesn't get any more mainstream than that.
"I need to be cloned on some level," Jameson told Geist.
"I agree, I think every man in America should have one," he said. "No offense."
Among her other accomplishments: debating at Oxford. "Yes, I debated about the right to view pornography. And I won, 286 to 1. I'm a very convincing girl."
The awards are preceded by the Adult Entertainment Expo, a big porno trade show with about 350 exhibitors.
And they do exhibit … everything. Of course we really can't show you much of anything.
We had to kind of tiptoe around the fringes of an expo we found both bizarre and perplexing, frankly.
One young man there was passing out Bibles, under a sign which read "Jesus Loves Porn Stars."
"Does Jesus love porn stars?" we asked.
"For sure, he loves porn stars as much as pastors," the man said.
There were also the peddlers of fake flesh: high-end love dolls, as they're called.
"We have ten different bodies," the salesman said. "We have sixteen different faces, people come to our Web site, they pick the face they like, they pick the body they like, then they put them together - building their ultimate woman."
They're well beyond the blow-up doll. One of the seller's dolls became a crossover star itself last year, playing a major role in the recent Hollywood film "Lars and the Real Girl."
Then there was Ron Jeremy, a porn legend. "I started in '78, [when] porno was more taboo."
While not matinee-idol handsome, Ron has hidden qualities. Fortunately he was here unveiling something else … a new PETA campaign, promoting the spaying and neutering of pets.
Fans are welcome at the trade show; porn is fan-friendly. Very.
"It's cool, yeah," Tera Patrick said. "I call this Fan Appreciation Week."
Fans are even welcome to attend the awards ceremony, where winners are recognized in 114 categories. Can we list some of the categories? No! Can we even say the names of the films? No! Except to say they use language normally heard only at bachelors' parties and doctors' offices.
There were acceptance speeches … and there were tears.
And on this historic evening, Jenna Jameson shocked the world by announcing she'd no longer appear in porno films.
"I'm launching my fragrance, which is called 'Heartbreaker," she told Geist. "I'm about to launch my reality show, about to launch my clothing line 'Hello Jenna.' I feel like I'm paving new ground for a lot of women in the industry."
Women like 20-year-old Terra Wray, who when asked said she didn't want to be a Hollywood starlet. "No, I wanted to be a porn star." Which she now is. "I know, dreams really do come true."
… Which will have to pass for a touching ending at the "Oscars of porn."
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See all 73 CommentsWell, I''m here to tell you it''s not Okay, it''s not entertaining, it''s not normal it''s disgusting- Whoever approved that segment should be fired and that
that was the last time I will watch the show.
Well, I''m here to tell you it''s not Okay, it''s not entertaining, it''s not normal it''s disgusting- Whoever approved that segment should be fired and that
that was the last time I will watch the show.
I actually was very interested in how Bill Geist would cover the topic. I thought it would be hilarious, I''m hoping it gets posted online.
As far as *** being disgusting, I feel sorry for you, you''re not doing it right. Only kidding.
Here''s an interesting question, why did you keep it on long enough to see the spray on tans and silicon implants, I sure didn''t.
The point is, be there and know what your children are watching and if it''s not appropriate change the channel. I do it all the time. *** is a natural thing and by reacting to it as taboo you only make them more curious to see it. Explain it as part of our nature and part of life and you''ll have opened a line of communication to your kid that should last a lifetime.
Flipping through tv channels I come upon material not suitable for my child from time to time (We only have an antenna no cable.) It''s my job as a parent to deem what acceptable.
Posted by beachlady7
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Yep - in the True Christian way it is better to Read about Killing, lying, Govt. F*cking us, People Moaning about *** when there is so much hatred and they don''t give a Shiit about that.
Hypocrite
Expecting higher standards in the future.
Expecting higher standards in the future.
Complains about *** but will "praise the Lord" while Walker Texas Ranger blows cannon size holes in everyone that looks at him funny.
GREAT STORY CBS!!!
1. Exodus 20:14
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Exodus 20:13-15 (in Context) Exodus 20 (Whole Chapter)
2. Leviticus 20:10
And the man that committeth adultery with another man''s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor%u2019s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
Leviticus 20:9-11 (in Context) Leviticus 20 (Whole Chapter)
3. Deuteronomy 5:18
Neither shalt thou commit adultery.
Deuteronomy 5:17-19 (in Context) Deuteronomy 5 (Whole Chapter)
4. Proverbs 6:32
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
Proverbs 6:31-33 (in Context) Proverbs 6 (Whole Chapter)
5. Jeremiah 3:8
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
Jeremiah 3:7-9 (in Context) Jeremiah 3 (Whole Chapter)
Tera Patrick is a really sweet person. Gave me a lovely email, and been so sweet. I think she''s amazing, sometimes it''s cool to see other females for a CHANCE! Instead of seeing female celebrities HERE AND THERE!
Can I ask another question, and answer honstly, how many of you watch the crime shows and "ripped from the headlines" shows like 48 hrs, etc detailing someone''s horror of murder rape or other such really disgusting programming?
Answer honestly. Is the porn industry worse than that? Can you honestly say with a clear conscience it''s ok to watch crime drama and then complain about the adult industry?
There are other segments of the Sunday Morning that I have had to turn off in front of my 8 yr old, too. But that''s just being responsible.
Personally, I''d rather have my kid hear about oral copulation than Oral Roberts.
Perhaps the CBS Anchorwoman would have been better suited to do this story.
Yeah, she could have done it topless or have her nipples showing during the report.
You folks at CBS are really troubling.
Get a grip on REAL news.
People are watching and shaking their head in your sad display of poor, very poor taste.
Get Katie a tampoon for your Sunday morning fodder.
It isn''t funny, and it isn''t news.
1. Exodus 20:14
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Exodus 20:13-15 (in Context) Exodus 20 (Whole Chapter)
2. Leviticus 20:10
And the man that committeth adultery with another man''''s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor%u2019s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
Leviticus 20:9-11 (in Context) Leviticus 20 (Whole Chapter)
3. Deuteronomy 5:18
Neither shalt thou commit adultery.
Deuteronomy 5:17-19 (in Context) Deuteronomy 5 (Whole Chapter)
4. Proverbs 6:32
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
Proverbs 6:31-33 (in Context) Proverbs 6 (Whole Chapter)
5. Jeremiah 3:8
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
Jeremiah 3:7-9 (in Context) Jeremiah 3 (Whole Chapter)
Good story CBS.
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See all 73 Comments