Dec. 14, 2007
Father's Abandonment Molded Obama
Washington Post: Candidate Last Saw His Father In 1971, And Spent Years Trying To Understand Him
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This photo released by Obama for America shows Barack Obama and his father, Barack Obama Sr. Obama's father left the family to study at Harvard when Barack was just two, returning only once in 1971 when he was 10. (AP Photo/Obama for America)
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When he talks today about his father's desertion, Barack Obama frequently summons a quotation that he believes explains how it directed him. "Every man is either trying to make up for his father's mistakes or live up to his expectations." (AP)
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Photo Essay
Barack Obama
A look at the life and meteoric rise of the president-elect.
Sometimes the trigger will be a newspaper story he is reading about Africa. Or he may spot a group of boys on a street corner on the South Side of Chicago and think that one or more of them "could be me, they may not have a father at home." At other moments, he will be playing with his daughters -- Malia, 9, and Sasha, 6 -- and begin to wrestle with what kind of father he has become, what a career in politics has meant to their lives and how to guard against his father's mistakes.
Thoughts of his father "bubble up," as Barack Obama puts it in an interview, "at different moments, at any course of the day or week."
"I think about him often," he says.
He last saw his father in 1971, when he was 10 years old. Remarried and living in his native Kenya, Barack Obama Sr. sent word that he wanted to visit his son in Hawaii over Christmas.
To the son, he had become a ghost, an opaque figure hailed as brilliant, charismatic, dignified, with a deep baritone voice that reminded everyone of James Earl Jones. All the boy knew was that his father had gone off to study at Harvard and never come back. Now, the old man would put flesh on the ghost.
On the day his father arrived, young Barack, known as Barry then, left school early and headed toward his grandparents' apartment, his legs leaden, his chest pounding. He nervously rang the doorbell. His grandmother opened the door, and there in the hallway was a dark, slender man wearing horn-rimmed glasses and sporting a blue blazer and scarlet ascot.
"He crouched down and put his arms around me, and I let my arms hang at my sides," the son recalled in "Dreams From My Father," a soul - baring memoir rare for a politician, written long before Obama contemplated a run for the White House.
"Well, Barry," his father said. "It is a good thing to see you after so long. Very good."
For a month, the father hung around, speaking to his son's fifth-grade class, taking the boy to a Dave Brubeck concert, but never quite reestablishing himself. The trip's pivotal moment came one night as Barry prepared to watch "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," the annual Dr. Seuss special. The father said the boy had watched enough television and insisted that he go to his room to study. Barry's mother and grandparents intervened in what became a heated family argument. But they proved no match for the strong-willed father, who in an instant had reclaimed the paternal role he had long ago abdicated.
Barry went to his room, slammed the door and "began to count the days until my father would leave and things would return to normal."
* * *
That visit set in motion a journey to make sense of his father, so that he could make sense of himself. It was the last time he would ever see his father, whose squandered promise and abandonment of his son have molded the man who is now running for president.
When he talks today about his father's desertion, Obama frequently summons a quotation that he believes explains how it directed him. "Every man is either trying to make up for his father's mistakes or live up to his expectations," he says. Until recently, he thought it came from Lyndon B. Johnson, who had his own unresolved issues with his father.
At one point in the campaign, Obama asked an aide to call Robert A. Caro, the preeminent Johnson biographer, to check. Caro said no, the quote was not from Johnson. The biographer was reminded, though, of something Johnson's brother had told him. The most important thing to Johnson, the brother had told Caro, was "not to be like Daddy," whom LBJ had once idolized but who later lost the family ranch and became a laughingstock.
Not to be like Daddy.
"I think he sees this as a challenge every day, that I want to do better than my father," says former federal judge Abner Mikva, a longtime Obama mentor.
When you grow up without a father, Michelle Obama says of her husband, you think about what you may have missed. "At some level, you wonder," she says. "You wonder all the time: Who would I be if I had my father in my life? Would I be a better person?"
Uncertainty crowds your mind about your own abilities. As Obama wrote in "The Audacity of Hope," his 2006 bestseller, "of all the areas of my life, it is in my capacities as a husband and father that I entertain the most doubt."
It is the reason why Dan Shomon, for many years Obama's top political aide in Illinois, urged him not to run for the U.S. Senate in 2004. "I think you're going to feel guilt about your kids," he told his boss, to no avail.
Obama hasn't found a way to reconcile his desire to be the father he never had with the long absences required of a presidential candidate. He attends parent-teacher conferences and dance recitals, and he structures his campaign day to always include a call to his daughters. But as his wife notes, "they are sometimes not ready to receive you when you call, and he has to suck that up."
"It's a struggle not just for him but for me," she says, adding that they have concluded that there is great value to their daughters in having a father with the ambition to be president. "One thing I learned from Barack is there is not one right way to parent."
Men often long for their fathers' approval, to shine in their fathers' light. Obama is asked how he feels about his father today, the dominant emotion. Regret? Unhappiness? Anger?
"I didn't know him well enough to be angry at him as a father," Obama says. "Mostly I feel a certain sadness for him, and the way that his life ended up unfulfilled, despite his enormous talents."
* * *
Barack Hussein Obama Sr. grew up herding goats in the remote village of Alego, Kenya. He belonged to the Luo tribe, one of the nation's largest. Bright and enterprising, he became in 1959 part of the first large wave of African students to study abroad. With a scholarship to the University of Hawaii, the 23-year-old quickly fell into a small group of graduate students who met on Friday evenings to eat pizza, drink beer, and talk world politics and economics.
"He was an intellectual in every sense of the word," recalls Rep. Neil Abercrombie (D-Hawaii), who was part of the inner circle. "He was the sun, and the other planets revolved around him."
It wasn't long before Obama brought another planet into their orbit, an 18-year-old white freshman from Wichita, Stanley Ann Dunham (so named because her father had wanted a boy). In late 1960, despite concerns from both families, Obama and Dunham were married. On Aug. 4, 1961, Barack Hussein Obama Jr. was born.
The fact that there was a marriage at all -- such interracial unions were banned in 22 states -- reflected, as Abercrombie saw it, his friend's incredible confidence and daring, traits the younger Obama would later display as a politician. But the marriage did not last long. When Obama won a scholarship to study at Harvard in 1963, and didn't have the money to take his young family with him, some were not surprised that he didn't return. Abercrombie sums up the reason in a single word: ambition.
"His ambition was to be a force in Kenya, to fulfill the drive that he had to make a difference in Kenyan life and perhaps even in African life. And don't forget, this is young love -- or maybe passion is closer to it. And passions can burn out."
It was Ann Dunham who filed for divorce in January 1964, citing "grievous mental suffering," according to court documents. Whatever anger she felt, she did not share it with her son. She made a point of telling Barry that his smarts, character and charm came from his father. Years later when he became upset about his father's behavior, she counseled against judging him too harshly.
© 2007 The Washington Post Company





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See all 258 CommentsI''m an Obama supporter so I wouldn''t ask anyone to support Huckabee, but I would ask people to take a deep breath and relax.
MLK was also a Baptist Preacher. Jimmy Carter was the nephew of a Baptist Preacher. Bill Clinton is a Baptist. George McGovern & QWalter Mondale were the son''s of Ministers. Did the country become a clerical state becuase of them?
The Christian Coalition are a splinter group within the larger Christian community just as groups like Al Quaeda & Hezballeh are splinter groups within the larger Islamic community of faith and the Zionist movement are a splinter group within the larger Jewish community.
If Huckabee is an intolerant Christian version of the Taliban that will come out in the election without there being any focus on his faith whatsoever.
Let''s focus on issues and personal character as demonstrated by the candidate and set the religiousfears and intolerance aside.
Perpetuating fear and sterotypes does nothing to help the country heal and the country desparately needs healing.
With Mike Huckabee skyrocketing in the polls and now picking up Ed Rollins, his HUCKABUS is going to go from HUCKABOOM to HUCKABAMBOOM!!!
I can see a movie in the making here, Mike Huckabee coming out of no where sprinting pass the competition like they were stuck on honey.
This is an incrediable success story in the making. You are going to see everybody and their brother wanting the rights to make this movie about Mike Huckabee''''s charismatic success.
Look out world, America is back in the running! Mike Huckabee is going to steer this big ship of ours and he has the masses supporting him. Just as a rockband of supporters cheering on Mike now... GO MIKE GO, GO MIKE GO, GO MIKE GO!!!!!
With Mike''''s super ability to connect with people, he will connect with national leaders. The Earth will shift, I can hear the rutters start to grind and turn now, an amazing amount of force is coming.
The evil terrorist will be stomped on like a pancake, the poor will become richer, the sick will become healther, the economy will become brighter. This is an amazing historical time for America on the horizon.
Huckabee%u2019s obvious identity politics strategy moves against our commitment that "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States" as stated in the constitution. So, when a Huckabee makes claims to be the "Christian Leader" and then claims that God is guiding people to vote for him, it is foreboding. In every essence he is self imposing a religious test on himself and possibly future candidates by running a blatant identity campaign that says, vote for me I%u2019m Christian just like you. Making this the focus of his campaign he can then skirt the real issues in some ways by relying on the "us" vote. Additionally this also (conveniently for him right now given his main competitor in Iowa, but not in the long run for the interest of the Republican party) works to exclude all candidates who are not "one of us" but might hold the same political convictions, eliminating important allies on issues like abortion, same *** marriage and the like.
By no means should we eliminate from political discussion the values and moral convictions that people of faith bring to office but Huckabee has no one to blame but himself when people decide that they are not going to vote for him because they don''t like his religion. He can''t have it both ways.
Here is a man of faith, running for president, that hasn''t said one word in outcry about what his own party has done to our Country...
He''s a bigger liar than all of them! Trying to fake us out that because of his religious upbringing he is the better man!
Horsehockey!
That''s what one prominent conservative thinks, and he''s warning his fellow Republicans not to nominate the former Arkansas governor.
Rich Lowry, an editor of the conservative publication the National Review (which endorsed rival Mitt Romney this week), writes on the Republican Web site Townhall.com Friday that nominating Huckabee would amount to "an act of suicide" for the party.
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When a leading conservative thinks the best man in the field is a guy who believes in magic underwear, he''s admitting how sad the field is in general.
EX: QUIT PICKING ON ME I''M TRYING TO RUN POSTIVE CAMPAIGN!!
Next year our nation will spend $506 BILLION on the War Machine. This does not include $180 BILLION on the needless Iraq (based on LIES) War or Afghanistan. For a total of $686 BILLION. There is no Soviet Union anymore. No more ''Arms Race''. All we have to fight are a small bunch of fundamentalists (you can identify with their passionate claims as sole owners of truth), who spread fear and hate (as do the political leaders you support).
So, fellow (self-identified) Christian, as we begin to celebrate Jesus this season, lets keep in mind how Jesus taught us to smack someone in the check if we think they might do it to us first. Or kill them if that''s what it takes.
I''m sure Jesus is smiling down on us as our War has taken the lives of a few hundred thousand Iraqis, 3,800 US troops. And $700 BILLION wasted on War is well spent -- sure it could have gone to help raise people out of poverty, launch major alternative energy programs, rebuild our infrastructure. But it is better to be safe than sorry.
God Bless America.
P.S.
Halibuton, Blackwater, "Defense" industry... MERRY CHRISTMAS!! The $680 BILLION is all yours next year. Enjoy!
And I have more reason to reject a candidate who unabashedly wears his religion on his sleeve. Such an orientation suggests a mindset that pays heed to dogma, not to an open-minded stance to ideas.
You want to save the world, stick to preaching. The Constitution gives you that freedom, nothing more.
I''d like to get some of these holy rollers on a lie detector and see just how ''true'' their faith is.
Christian conservatives: you should REALLY try and be more skeptical of the folks wooing you. People will say and do anything to get power and wealth.
"Christians should nominate, and in the general election vote to elect, Mike Huckabee because he desires to lead our nation in a godly way."
Where have I heard that before? Oh yes, with our current President. He is leading our nation in a "godly way", which means: endless war, *** the poor and lower classes over whenever possible, trashing the environment, etc.
We have a president now who believes in an invisible man who has mercilessly killed many thousands of people because he says his invisible man wants him to.
McDonald''s should jump on the bandwagon and put a God action figure in every happy meal. He''d have to be invisible, of course.
A: Someone might think they are dancing.
I LOVE IT! It''s a$$-whuppin time! The Repugniscums are going in the $hitter of History!
JESUS for president, Huckleberry for V.P.
(the DEVIL is a democrat,right?)
We have a president now who believes in an invisible man who has mercilessly killed many thousands of people because he says his invisible man wants him to.
McDonald''''s should jump on the bandwagon and put a God action figure in every happy meal. He''''d have to be invisible, of course.
Posted by downtowner97 at 12:50 PM : Dec 15, 2007,,,
Languages around the World have a label for the invisible man but in the West he is called God. Religion is complicated because some things have to be believed to be seen! The many Religions also make Religion very complicated and whose Religion is right? Each Religion claims if you don''t go with theirs you''ll burn in Hell for eternity for guessing wrong! Invisible man or not, God or not, we are spinning on this ball in space sustained by a fragile ECO System so I''m impressed, nothing is falling off, nothing is floating into outer space, it all stays put! This is impressive and not an accident, its too perfect!
Your post was excellent. The truth is oftentimes difficult for people to accept. I believe that there are some very valuable things to be learned from the bible but, like you, I do not believe that there are supernatural powers at work in the universe. To hope that the nations of the world and the different religions can ever reach a common ground is a slim hope indeed. Wouldn''t it be wonderful if that could happen? Finally, I must hand it to you for having the bal*s to post your address and phone number. There are a lot of insane people who get on these sites and I actually fear for your safety. Be careful and know that there are those of us out here who are with you all the way.
Militant atheism?? I am a practicing Roman Catholic, but I would say that Fundemenatalist Christianity is a far more destructive force then atheism. You are the people going around, prodding at people''s beleifs without a basic notion of co-existance. You are the ones parading themselves around as "Warriors of God". Warriors, huh? Sounds like you''d love to go out and spread Christianity like our ancestors; by the sword. You people corrupt the words of Christ and twist sacred symbolic writtings into a text to base a life on, even though the writtings often contradict each other. You have no respect for science, history, or human advancement what-so-ever, you''d rather regress to an age of wickedness. Open a *** history book and I will show you what Christian missionaries have spread; Genocide,War, and Corruption to say the least. You people tarnish the name of Christ by what you do, you are terrible examples of how Christians should live. And study your history!! Many of our Founding Fathers were Deists (i.e. Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, George Wahington, Alexander Hamilton, etc.)who founded a nation that would be ruled by secularism, NOT CHRISTIANITY. You give one example, Stalin, under atheists that commited mass-slaughter. I cannot even begin to write all the names of Christians who have acted so evily. Fundementalists; keep your faith to yourselves. You only spread pain and hatred with your words of "salvation"
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QUESTION: What do a Radical, Islamic Muslin Jihadist and a Right-Wing American Evangelical Nut-Job have in common?
ANSWER: They BOTH strongly support and follow Mike Huckabee''s statement that "a wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband".
I have no doubt that Huck will bring these two groups together.
Women: beware of this lunatic.
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You call yourselves Christians, but you get all bend out of shape at the thought of someone who worships God a little differently getting elected president. Meanwhile, hardly any of you have actually read the bible cover to cover (I have) because you''d realize you aren''t doing anything like what Jesus would have wanted you to do.
I''m an atheist, but I live my life as closely to the sermon on the mount as I can every minute of every day without any dream of living forever on a cloud somewhere just because it''s a good way to live.
The aforementioned changes were indeed the beginings of the downward spiral the US is now going thru.Huckabees upbringing,experience,strong standards of morals and believes, make him a much needed man to lead and refloat this sinking nation.
Gee, do you think Santa Claus and the Tooth-Fairy are father and daughter?
Is the Earth as flat as Huckabee%u2019s head?
Is the universe only 6000 years old, about as old and timely as Huckabee%u2019s ideas?
The dance was poor, and the pews got in the way, and everyone but the hippie was pretty embarrassed by the whole scene, but it definitely didn''t make me think God might be angry that she danced. It got me thinking I needed to do something else with my Sunday mornings.
My point is, that if Bush got specific about his religious beliefs like these candidates have had to, a lot of his evangelical supporters would think much less of him.
Posted by downtowner97 at 01:34 PM : Dec 15, 2007
Your statement says it all,you may have read the bible, but you did not comprehend what it says regarding sin, repentance, forgiveness,and eternal life (not on some cloud). Time to reread it esp the new testament and rethink the atheist belief
Posted by downtowner97 at 01:50 PM : Dec 15, 2007
so what or whom do you blame?
Giulani busniss friends funded 9/11 Mastermind
Huckabee says women should remain subserviant to their masters ------
--- Hello World Here We Come --- Stock Up On Multi-Colored Burka''s ------ Great Job there GOP
If you have a Nativity Scene in your front yard this season -- Build a wall between the Baby Jesus & the 3 Wise Men --------- Merry Christmas world, Isreals Government cut off all help to the children in Gaza
WE DON''T NEED ANOTHER RELIGIOUS NUT IN THE WHITE HOUSE!!! The world will not survive another one. (It may not even survive the chimp!)
be lying now would he????????????????? Just like the
rest of the morons running for president.
Here is a novel idea. Let''s select the next president based on qualifications and intelligence. Not who carries the biggest bible.
No... just continue to tell us that we have trillions to fight wars, but no money for middle class Americans.
http://goupstate.us/index.php/lanefiller/2007/11/02/title_14
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