June 15, 2008

Andy Thinks About Money

What Would You Do If You Were Rich?

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     (CBS/PHOTODISC)

(CBS)  This story was first broadcast on Dec. 16, 2007.

The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by CBS News correspondent Andy Rooney.



Everyone's idea of how much money a person has to have to be called "rich" differs. If I had the money 25 years ago that I have now, I'd have called myself "rich" but I don't think of myself as "rich" now.

These days I'd use some word like "comfortable" to describe my financial condition. I know exactly how much money I have in my pocket and how much I have in the bank and I don't think any one really rich knows those things about his money.

There was a story in the paper the other day about a man named Steven Kirsch who invented a new kind of computer mouse and made $230 million on it. I liked the story and I liked Mr. Kirsch because the first thing he did was to give $75 million of it to the United Way and other charities. That's what I’d do if I made $230 million. I'd give my four kids a couple of million each - the school I went to and my college are always asking for money so I’d give each of them a million in exchange for a promise that they'd never ask me for another nickel. That goes for my kids, my college and the United Way.

There are a lot of things I'd do if I was rich. I’d say keep the change more often.

I'd fill up with high test gas instead of the 89 octane I usually buy now. I’d send all my shirts to be washed and pressed at the cleaners. Now I do the short-sleeve ones myself.

I'd have all 150 watt bulbs in the lamps in the house. When the heels of my shoes were worn down, I'd throw the shoes away and buy new shoes instead of having new heels put on the old ones. I'd never take another bus where I could grab a taxi. I’d buy more books. I'd buy both Harper's and The Atlantic, Time and Newsweek. I wouldn't shine my shoes, I'd have my shoes shined. If I dropped some pennies or a nickel on the sidewalk, I wouldn't bother to bend over to pick them up. I'd sit up front with the rich people when I flew to Los Angeles, not in one of the cheap seats in back that have made "coach" a dirty word.

The biggest difference in my life if I was rich would be - I wouldn't have to think of something to say at the end of 60 Minutes every week.

Written By Andy Rooney
© MMVIII, CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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by extremophil December 16, 2007 9:34 PM PST
Well put. But I still wish I had YOUR money, Mr Rooney.
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by tjpratt December 16, 2007 11:20 PM PST


If only you would leave 60 minutes.

You are a borng old f**k. You have enough money now, its your ego,that keeps you hanging on. Go away!
Stop embarrassing yourself!!
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by michellem99-2009 December 16, 2007 11:53 PM PST
I just installed an exteral TV card so I can watch over the air TV so I can watch and do things at computer but can''t get the bloody cc to work. Money IS NEEDED TO LIVE,. I can''t relate to the well to do.Yer best keep it as yer going to need it to live and buy things ye will need as yer age.
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by jwseattle December 16, 2007 11:54 PM PST
Are you kidding me?! How much did you just get paid to string together those 424 pathetic words? Absolutely pathetic.
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by jwseattle December 16, 2007 11:56 PM PST
Are you kidding me?! How much did you just get paid to string together those 424 pathetic words? Absolutely pathetic.
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by jwseattle December 16, 2007 11:58 PM PST
Are you kidding me?! How much did you just get paid to string together those 424 pathetic words? Absolutely disgraceful.
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by jwseattle December 17, 2007 12:00 AM PST
Are you kidding me?! How much did you just get paid to string together those 424 pathetic words? Absolutely disgraceful.
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by amaltz21 December 17, 2007 12:08 AM PST
Mr. Rooney,
You have the world''s best job. Even if you were rich would you really want to give up being able to talk about ANYTHING to a national audience every Sunday night? I''ve grown up watching 60 minutes and your segments have always been my favorite part so I hope you keep thinking up things to say....
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by amaltz21 December 17, 2007 12:11 AM PST
Mr. Rooney,
You have the world''s best job. Even if you were rich would you really want to give up being able to talk about ANYTHING to a national audience every Sunday night? I''ve grown up watching 60 minutes and your segments have always been my favorite part so I hope you keep thinking up things to say....
Reply to this comment
by jwseattle December 17, 2007 1:27 AM PST
Are you kidding me?! How much did you just get paid to string together those 424 pathetic words? Absolutely disgraceful.
Reply to this comment
by otdky07 December 17, 2007 2:31 AM PST
What a joke! Andy Rooney probably makes more doing his short blurb in one week than I make in a year. I wish he''d retire, but then cbs would probably find someone even more annoying to replace him.
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by grammawhamma December 17, 2007 3:28 AM PST
What a slap in the face to his many viewers tonight! Okay, so he doesn''t have multi-millions in the bank...so therefore, he is not rich. Give me a break.

BTW, Andy, I also know what is in my bank account at all times...only because I have to decide which bills I should pay this week! Take a hike in your expensive shoes so you can have new heels put on them again. Geez.
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by brassmannin December 17, 2007 7:16 AM PST
I loved it....please make sure Andy never dies...spend all the money you need to in order to keep him alive and functioning.
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by quatrops December 17, 2007 9:30 AM PST
Pathetic? What''s pathetic is people like pratt and jw who need to post multiple identical comments critical of Rooney just to stroke their own egos. Pathetic indeed!
Reply to this comment
by Netterz December 17, 2007 12:56 PM PST
LOL jwseattle...you actually counted his words? I guess all the Andy haters missed the article he wrote about saying how much he enjoys reading the barbs people throw at him on here, and other sites, because you have the choice not to read the blurbs of a cantankerous old man, but you do so religiously every week and comment on what he rambles about. He actually enjoys it. I for one, am very amused at the things Andy says, because #1, he isnt afraid to say it, and creats an entire sattire, around one single point. I personally wish the guy was president. I would love to see him go up against a few of the so called leaders of a few countries, and tell them how it really is, instead of all the lies and ***-footed
BS that relly goes on :)
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by rkr68 December 18, 2007 2:03 PM PST
"...The biggest difference in my life if I was rich would be - I wouldn''t have to think of something to say at the end of 60 Minutes every week."

Dear Mr. Rooney,

I got something to say!

Even though being rich aint all about money, you are a still a rich man.

I have no clue of what''s in your wallet, and personally, I really don''t care. I do believe (setting your celebrity aside) you are a man of great value. You have been a loyal and dear friend to my father-in-law since you were "roomies".

Where you sit on an airplane doesn''t impress me much. The fact that you still take the time to sit across the table and visit with an old friend (who is sharp as a tack but stuck in a wheel-chair), well, now that is impressive.

If you do get more money, and still want change a few things, don''t change "you".

With much admiration (just because)
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by kozarrj June 15, 2008 8:05 PM PDT
Mr. Rooney----If I had your money, I''d throw mine away!
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by sploch29 June 15, 2008 8:06 PM PDT
Mr. Rooney,

Would you have us to believe that you cannot live on 7,700 dollars a week? According to the New York Times, you made 7,700 a week when you were suspended by CBS in 1987. Surely, you have had a modest standard of living salary increase since you have been on the air the last decade. As a young 32 year old high school teacher, I am sickened by your superiority complex and your since of entitlement that you accuse youngsters of having.
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by a56791 June 15, 2008 8:28 PM PDT
And there you go- Andy Rooney telling us all what we already knew, that he was just hanging on for the money. Certainly nothing intelligent, thoughtful, or caring in tonight''s bit. New shoes, take a cab, fly coach, 150 watt bulbs, higher octane, have someone else shine your shoes. My family is deciding if we can buy fuel this winter - you arrogant old man. No one but Paris Hilton can be so thoughtless to the working man. Not only are you out of touch but you are wasteful and obviously unconcerned about the environment and the economy.

"The biggest difference in my life would be - that I wouldn''t have to think of something to say at the end of 60 Minutes every week". Well you certainly did not think much about what you said tonight. How thoughtless. Do us a favor - quit!!!!!
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by cwinter76 June 15, 2008 8:50 PM PDT
Wow. I am a middle income American - I am lucky enough to not have to pick which bills to pay and even to splurge on things every once in a while. And yet, I was highly offended by Rooney''s commentary tonight. First, I would venture to say that the rich know exactly what''s in their bank accounts - it''s one of the ways they got rich. But after over half a century on the air in a fairly lucrative role, to claim that he''s not rich is a downright insult. Does Rooney not comprehend that he is in the top 1% of income earners in the WORLD? How much is he giving to charity? Oh, I forgot, he isn''t rich enough to give any away. There are people in this world that do far more with far less than Rooney could ever hope. Do us all a favor and find another profession - one where you can maybe make more money and be listened to by less people.
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by jbgecko1 June 15, 2008 10:06 PM PDT
Rich is relative..........................

Much respect

jb
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by grammawhamma June 16, 2008 3:36 AM PDT
Andy....hang it up. Enough is enough already. You are an arrogant ignorant old man. I don''t know your age but I''m sure you qualified for your social security checks long ago.

p.s. I really doubt you bend over to pick up that penny or nickel you see on the street. If you do pick it up...make sure you throw it in that homeless guy''s tin cup or would that break you!?
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by neenga June 16, 2008 12:12 PM PDT
I am always amused that Andy haters carefully read/listen to his every word so they can spew about his "insignificance."
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by jenniferio June 16, 2008 1:26 PM PDT
I wish I had shoes that were worthy of re-heeling. Andy, you were out of touch with this one.
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by jenniferio June 16, 2008 1:28 PM PDT
I wish I had shoes that were worthy of re-heeling, Andy. You really missed it this week.
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by wonderfulife-2009 June 18, 2008 12:53 PM PDT
Hi Andy,

Well, please kindly allow me to cheerfully state that I%u2019m so glad you aren%u2019t %u201Crich%u201D Andy, because I would really, really miss seeing you after %u201C60 Minutes%u201D %u2013 I love hearing what you have to say each week. Thank you so much for the smiles.

(referring the last line of your commentary)

P.S. If I were "rich" I would buy more books too.
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by wonderfulife-2009 June 18, 2008 12:55 PM PDT
Hi Andy,

Well, please kindly allow me to cheerfully state that I%u2019m so glad you aren%u2019t %u201Crich%u201D Andy, because I would really, really miss seeing you after %u201C60 Minutes%u201D....I love hearing what you have to say each week.

(referring the last line of your commentary)

P.S. If I were "rich" I would buy more books too.
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