Andy Thinks About Money

This story was first broadcast on Dec. 16, 2007.

The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by CBS News correspondent Andy Rooney.

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Everyone's idea of how much money a person has to have to be called "rich" differs. If I had the money 25 years ago that I have now, I'd have called myself "rich" but I don't think of myself as "rich" now.

These days I'd use some word like "comfortable" to describe my financial condition. I know exactly how much money I have in my pocket and how much I have in the bank and I don't think any one really rich knows those things about his money.

There was a story in the paper the other day about a man named Steven Kirsch who invented a new kind of computer mouse and made $230 million on it. I liked the story and I liked Mr. Kirsch because the first thing he did was to give $75 million of it to the United Way and other charities. That's what I'd do if I made $230 million. I'd give my four kids a couple of million each - the school I went to and my college are always asking for money so I'd give each of them a million in exchange for a promise that they'd never ask me for another nickel. That goes for my kids, my college and the United Way.

There are a lot of things I'd do if I was rich. I'd say keep the change more often.

I'd fill up with high test gas instead of the 89 octane I usually buy now. I'd send all my shirts to be washed and pressed at the cleaners. Now I do the short-sleeve ones myself.

I'd have all 150 watt bulbs in the lamps in the house. When the heels of my shoes were worn down, I'd throw the shoes away and buy new shoes instead of having new heels put on the old ones. I'd never take another bus where I could grab a taxi. I'd buy more books. I'd buy both Harper's and The Atlantic, Time and Newsweek. I wouldn't shine my shoes, I'd have my shoes shined. If I dropped some pennies or a nickel on the sidewalk, I wouldn't bother to bend over to pick them up. I'd sit up front with the rich people when I flew to Los Angeles, not in one of the cheap seats in back that have made "coach" a dirty word.

The biggest difference in my life if I was rich would be - I wouldn't have to think of something to say at the end of 60 Minutes every week.
Written By Andy Rooney

[wonderfulife-2009]

Hi Andy,

Well, please kindly allow me to cheerfully state that I%u2019m so glad you aren%u2019t %u201Crich%u201D Andy, because I would really, really miss seeing you after %u201C60 Minutes%u201D....I love hearing what you have to say each week.

(referring the last line of your commentary)

P.S. If I were "rich" I would buy more books too.

[wonderfulife-2009]

Hi Andy,

Well, please kindly allow me to cheerfully state that I%u2019m so glad you aren%u2019t %u201Crich%u201D Andy, because I would really, really miss seeing you after %u201C60 Minutes%u201D %u2013 I love hearing what you have to say each week. Thank you so much for the smiles.

(referring the last line of your commentary)

P.S. If I were "rich" I would buy more books too.

[jenniferio]

I wish I had shoes that were worthy of re-heeling, Andy. You really missed it this week.

[jenniferio]

I wish I had shoes that were worthy of re-heeling. Andy, you were out of touch with this one.

[neenga]

I am always amused that Andy haters carefully read/listen to his every word so they can spew about his "insignificance."

[grammawhamma]

Andy....hang it up. Enough is enough already. You are an arrogant ignorant old man. I don''t know your age but I''m sure you qualified for your social security checks long ago.

p.s. I really doubt you bend over to pick up that penny or nickel you see on the street. If you do pick it up...make sure you throw it in that homeless guy''s tin cup or would that break you!?

[jbgecko1]

Rich is relative..........................

Much respect

jb

[cwinter76]

Wow. I am a middle income American - I am lucky enough to not have to pick which bills to pay and even to splurge on things every once in a while. And yet, I was highly offended by Rooney''s commentary tonight. First, I would venture to say that the rich know exactly what''s in their bank accounts - it''s one of the ways they got rich. But after over half a century on the air in a fairly lucrative role, to claim that he''s not rich is a downright insult. Does Rooney not comprehend that he is in the top 1% of income earners in the WORLD? How much is he giving to charity? Oh, I forgot, he isn''t rich enough to give any away. There are people in this world that do far more with far less than Rooney could ever hope. Do us all a favor and find another profession - one where you can maybe make more money and be listened to by less people.

[a56791]

And there you go- Andy Rooney telling us all what we already knew, that he was just hanging on for the money. Certainly nothing intelligent, thoughtful, or caring in tonight''s bit. New shoes, take a cab, fly coach, 150 watt bulbs, higher octane, have someone else shine your shoes. My family is deciding if we can buy fuel this winter - you arrogant old man. No one but Paris Hilton can be so thoughtless to the working man. Not only are you out of touch but you are wasteful and obviously unconcerned about the environment and the economy.

"The biggest difference in my life would be - that I wouldn''t have to think of something to say at the end of 60 Minutes every week". Well you certainly did not think much about what you said tonight. How thoughtless. Do us a favor - quit!!!!!

[sploch29]

Mr. Rooney,

Would you have us to believe that you cannot live on 7,700 dollars a week? According to the New York Times, you made 7,700 a week when you were suspended by CBS in 1987. Surely, you have had a modest standard of living salary increase since you have been on the air the last decade. As a young 32 year old high school teacher, I am sickened by your superiority complex and your since of entitlement that you accuse youngsters of having.