Rooney's Christmas Catalogs

Will Catalogs Turn Andy Into A Shopper?

(CBS)  The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by CBS News correspondent Andy Rooney.

---

I get a lot of catalogs at this time of year. I never buy anything in any of them but that doesn't seem to discourage the people who send them to me because I keep getting catalogs from the same companies year after year.

There's one word that's never mentioned though - not once in any of these. You know what the word is? The word "Christmas" is nowhere in any of these 27 catalogs I have. The word they use to replace "Christmas" is "Holiday."

It's funny you never hear anyone say "Merry Holiday."

The "Circuit City" catalog looks as if it wants to sell you a car for Christmas but the ad isn't for cars - it's for a television set. You save $300 instantly, the ad says. Does anyone really believe they save $300 instantly on anything?

All the prices in a lot of ads still end in 99 cents. $29.99, $49.99, $129.99. They've been doing that for years. Do you think that 99 cents stuff still works? Are we really that dumb?

We don't realize that $129.99 is really $130?

"The Sharper Image" offers 50 percent off on two units. What they don't tell you until down here is that one unit costs $499.95.

I wonder how much they paid this nice-looking woman to stand here in her underwear while they took her picture? She probably got more this guy got for lying there in bed, pretending to be asleep.

"Solutions" has 162 gifts for under for under $30, in case you want 162 gifts for under $30. I personally like a present better than I like a gift. A gift is apt to be something I take back.

"Monitor The Weather From Your Own Backyard." Well, I do that all the time. I stick my hand out and if it gets wet, I know its raining.

"1,001 Movies You Should See Before You Die." The average movie is around two hours long so I multiplied it out. It would take you about 83 24-hour days to watch all of these. That's without ever getting up to go to the bathroom, too.

I don't want to sound negative about all the catalogs I get though. I look through them and really enjoy all the money I save by not buying anything from any of them.

[rotinometis]

On that note Mr. Rooney I petition we rename "60 Minutes" to "42 minutes." We all know 18 of those minutes are attempting to do the same thing as the catalogs; sell me things that I don''t really want.

[wrrodda]

Andy, In regards to your comment about Catalogs. I whole heartily agree with you. I would just like to mention that I just picked up my LL Bean catalog and the cover says "Guide to Christmas Gifts" 2007. I would like to encourage people to purchase products from LL Bean. Thank you.

[planetmonkey]

Andy,

I have watched you for years, and for the most part, agree with your line of thinking all the way. This last segment, really hit home. I hate items marked ***.99cents. It''s an insult to my intelligence. What the hell is wrong with ***.73 cents? etc. You get the idea.

[nativewoman]

Hmmm. It seems that catalog companies are the most inclusive of all peoples and holidays.

That would be because they want to sell to the most people and those who celebrate Christmas do not comprise the entire market.

Christmas is not the only December celebration or observance. There is Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, Las Posadas, Kwanzaa, Yule and probably many I''m not aware of.

During a time that is supposed to be filled with reverence for deity and miracles, love, family, fun and giving why do so many display only animosity towards others as they seek to claim some type of ownership of the season?

My personal favorite December observance is, of course, Festivus! For the rest of us!

Happy Holidays to one and all!

[curmudgeon2b]

Dear Andy,

Y''know what really gets me? It''s when guys with a national pulpit stick it to the poor ad writers and merchandisers who''re just trying to make a nickel without offending anyone during the one month--OK, maybe October to January is more than a month--when they do 80% of their annual business.

It''s been said you were a writer once...Remember "target audience?" Ya don''t have to be a Christian to go out and spend money you don''t have like there''s no tomorrow. It''s an equal opportunity crazy season;just ask the advertising wheels at CBS, who sell all that air time between the "Pre-Halloween Christmas--er, Holiday--Sales" and the "Post New Year, After Holiday Clearance and White Sales".

And quit knocking the photos of young women in their underwear. A catalog''s the only place either of us is ever going to see that sight again...at least one where she''s smiling.

So give ''em a break. You''re starting to sound like those nitwits you keep warning us about.

Merry Holidays

[naturescorne]

To eleminate unwanted catalogs, just go to:
www.catalogchoice.org and delete what you do not want!

[cbs_oliver]

"There''s one word that''s never mentioned though - not once in any of these. You know what the word is?"

Thanksgiving?

Winter Festival?

Hanukkah?

Christmas?

Kwanzaa?

New Year?

I give up? What is it the secret word my Mr. Rooney?

[cbs_oliver]

Andy, In regards to your comment about Catalogs. I whole heartily agree with you. I would just like to mention that I just picked up my LL Bean catalog and the cover says "Guide to Christmas Gifts" 2007. I would like to encourage people to purchase products from LL Bean. Thank you.
Posted by wrrodda at 08:17 PM : Dec 02, 2007

Is this a selling point for Jews and Muslims and Buddists and Shintos and Agnostics and Atheists?

[erniecitrus]

STOP GETTING CATALOGS WEB SITE

Thanks Andy - we have a special bag for all the worthless catalogs we get. There is just so much WASTE.

Given that the holidays are closing in rapidly, shops and marketers have started their catalog mass-mailing campaigns. Everyday, our mailbox would contain at least 4 new catalogs. Crate & Barrel seems to be the worst offender, often sending the exact same catalog with just a different cover on it.

To counter this huge paper waste, I highly recommend using www.catalogchoice.ORG. It''s one of the NRDC''s initiatives (see many more on www.nrdc.org) and I''ve been using it for approximately 3 weeks now. The website is free and simple, where you only have to input the catalog name and your customer number (always clearly identified on the cover next to your name): the NRDC will take care of the rest.

We have opted out of 16 catalogs in the last 3 weeks and our mailbox is significantly less stuffed. Although the website is officially still being tested, 88,000 people has signed up and approximately 500,000 catalogs have been taken out of circulation. That''s pretty impressive.

So if you want to stop wasting paper or lugging large boxes of catalogs down to the recycling bin: check out this website.

EC

[youngr7]

The best message ever by Andy. A real masterpiece

[youngr7]

the Dec 2nd message was a real master piece. the best ever.

[youngr7]

Your 2nd Dec message a real masterpeice. The best ever

[loletagm]

Regarding Andy Rooney''s piece on Christmas Catalogs, Andy''s a man after my own heart. He''s cheap and he flaunts it. Let''s call it "Economy," in the tradition of Henry David Thoreau. But better than enjoying a secret chuckle at all those catalogs from which Andy purchases nothing, how about taking it to the next level? Put a chastity belt over the mail slot. Catalogchoice.org is a free on line service whose mission is to eliminate personal violation. They''ll turn back your invading catalogs, and save your surrounding forest while doing it. 53 million trees go down annually just so my teenage son can ogle over Victoria Secret.

[mirroroptics-2009]

Andy Rooney''s comments about holiday catalogs made me laugh. I was especially glad to hear his comments about calling $20.00, $19.99 etc.. I called up a company and inquired about broadband service for my computer. The girl said it was only 39.99. I said "you mean forty dollars". She softly replied "uh yeah". Kind of like she didn''t want to talk about it. ..... Are we the only country that prices things that way? Seems deceptive.

I wish Andy would run for President. I''d vote for him.