September 22, 2009 11:12 AM

An Embarrassingly Patriotic Passport

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CBSNews
(The New Republic)  This column was written by Michael Currie Schaffer.

The federal government's recent efforts in the field of passport regulations have been somewhat less than wildly popular. First, new travel rules for travelers flying to Canada, Mexico, and the Caribbean prompted a run on the passport office: With the bureaucracy overwhelmed, furious would-be travelers saw their vacation dates come and go with no document in sight. Then, no sooner had the feds made a dent in the backlog than the next passport-change appeared on the horizon: As of January, Americans will have to show their passports at land crossings, too. Borderland backups caused by a dress-rehearsal for the new rules made the front page of the New York Times last week.

So, complaining about something so superficial as the way the passport looks might seem a little like kicking the poor schlubs in the consular service when they're down. Unfortunately, the newly redesigned U.S. passport -- that document so many folks have waited in Soviet-length lines to acquire, and which they'll no doubt thumb through as they wait in even longer queues at our borders next year -- is tacky enough to make you want to do just that. Apparently, someone forgot that passports are mainly meant to be read by, you know, foreigners. Plastered like a NASCAR vehicle with cheeseball patriotic clip-art that might have been swiped from The Colbert Report's opening credits, the new books spill jingoism the way traveling Americans once spilled hard currency.

Fair enough, given the administration that introduced the new passports. Unfortunately, where the Bushies once excelled at logos and backdrops, the redesign is also hideously, hideously ugly. Don't take my word for it -- flip through the new book at the state department's Web site.

The result of a six-year effort, the new passport's main advantage is that it is embedded with a computer chip and other high-tech security features. The front cover looks the same as before, except for a small emblem of a circle and two lines, the symbol for documents that contain electronic data.

The problems only start once you open your passport. On the inside front cover is a Fort McHenry illustration accompanied by the last four lines of the "Star Spangled Banner," apparently in Francis Scott Key's handwriting. Why is this quotation in actual handwriting? It's unclear. Other than an inexplicably capitalized passage from the Gettysburg Address that I fear will make overseas consular officers feel as if Lincoln is shouting at them, the thirteen other inspirational quotes in the book are all printed in the same sober Times Roman-style font.

Except, of course, for the text on the page opposite the passport-holder's photo and personal information. That page contains the preamble to the constitution, complete with "We the People" in its original 18th-century typeface. It's hard to say what foreign passport-stampers are supposed to make of a preamble to a document that isn't, in fact, contained in this particular little blue book. But perhaps they'll just focus on the page's graphic elements: A fierce-looking bald eagle that takes up half the page, accompanied by smaller illustrations of grain and a flapping American flag.

The passport's subsequent pages -- the ones that are supposed to be used for foreign visas and entry stamps -- follow along with illustrations as predictable as a junior-high American-history project. Cacti! Mountains! Independence Hall! A gargantuan rendering of the Liberty Bell! The whole romantic panoply, from coast to coast. Literally: There's a New England schooner sailing through pages ten and eleven, a Mississippi paddleboat floating towards the edge of page 17, and some sort of Pacific Northwest image involving a salmon-eating bear and a totem pole on pages 24 and 25. I suppose it goes without saying that the pages in between feature cowboys, bison, a train, and the Statue of Liberty.

Crass it may be, but the new passport won't be accused of taking sides in domestic politics. The figures offering quotes about what the State Department calls "the hope and success that is the United States of America" include John F. Kennedy and LBJ as well as Teddy Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower. Many of the passages extol the virtues of democracy -- great stuff, although, alas, material that these days is liable to be interpreted abroad as stage one in some secret American invasion scheme.

Still, at least one of the passages -- a Martin Luther King, Jr. quote asking that "God grant that America will be true to her dream" -- implies that Americans are aware of at least a few imperfections. Of course, there's nothing imperfect about the illustration abutting the King quotation: A mountain range, a pair of buffalo, and yet another enormous eagle staring proudly into the distance. What that western idyll has to do with the man who orchestrated the Montgomery bus boycott is anyone's guess. But whatever dissonance it all creates will only be heightened once the pages start getting filled in with visas and passport stamps from Finland or Botswana.

If the passport's designers have taken care not to slight any particular party, ethnicity, or painter of corny American vistas, there are at least some changes you could interpret as signs of Cheneyite muscle-flexing. For instance, in the passport that was used until last year, the standard passage on page one featuring a request from the Secretary of State to treat the passport-holder well was printed in French and Spanish as well as English. It still is, though the foreign languages have now been shrunk to a typeface distinctly smaller than the English text. That'll show 'em!

One of the most jarring statistics from the 2004 election had to do with passports. According to one Zogby poll, John Kerry led among passport-holders by 23 points, while President Bush held a sizeable lead among those without passports. No doubt the new travel rules will go some of the way toward changing that as they broaden the passports-toting population. But maybe the new-look passport, shouting its Yankee pride like an American flag on a fanny pack, will help, too. The cover may say United States, but the design taste is pure red states.
By Michael Currie Schaffer
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Add a Comment See all 35 Comments
by alanrobisch October 28, 2007 11:24 PM EDT
But when "life" begins and what constitutes a "human being" vis-a-vis abortions is not MY decision to impose on others, nor is it YOURS! It is a faith-challenging, gut-wrenching decision that each person must make on their own (particularly pregnent women), and not some precept to be parroted from a "leader" of a particular faith or denomination.


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Posted by Quatrops at 10:19 PM : Oct 27, 2007

Thats a non answer and a typical rationalization. christians who believe in creation by God are considered ignorant yet something as plain and simple as when live begins is too hard for all the brilliant women in the world. Its simple women want the right to have *** and not the natural consequences which is bearing a child. Its hard to accept for most women that abortion is the destruction of a human life therefore women who are advocates of the right to abort a human life must lie to themselves that they don''t know when life begins. Its why I''ll stay with god and the bible as the corner stone of moral values rather than humans who have for their entire existence justified the murder of innocents for one reason or another.
Reply to this comment
by aldee41 October 28, 2007 2:20 PM EDT
4quatrops
How about a military theme:
Valley Forge, New Orleans, the Alamo, Antietam, the Battleship Maine, Pearl Harbor, Chosin, any part of Vietnam, Afganistan, Iraq, and (for a hint of the future) Iran. Defeats, disasters, phony incidents, battles fought after the war was over, invasion without justification; the list seems endless. US military history is reflected in the moral and ethical standards of the current regime in Washington.
The next President will be a Democrat.
Chose wisely. Chose Richardson.
Reply to this comment
by quatrops October 28, 2007 1:19 AM EDT
Robbieright: I''ve never suggested an in utero fetus is not a "human being". You assumed that, along with other pejorative assumptions you make about those who have a different faith than the one you and I share.

But when "life" begins and what constitutes a "human being" vis-a-vis abortions is not MY decision to impose on others, nor is it YOURS! It is a faith-challenging, gut-wrenching decision that each person must make on their own (particularly pregnent women), and not some precept to be parroted from a "leader" of a particular faith or denomination.
Reply to this comment
by alanrobisch October 27, 2007 11:44 PM EDT
Any other suggestions?


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Posted by Quatrops at 08:46 AM : Oct 27, 2007
+ report abuse

Explain how a child in utero is not a human being and why women should have free rein to destroy those lives.
Reply to this comment
by alanrobisch October 27, 2007 11:43 PM EDT
will watch all those people in airports around the world smile, or even laugh, when they try to decipher our new passports. You just can''''t fix stupid!


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Posted by adian1 at 04:52 AM : Oct 27, 2007

Another anti christian post. Try tolerance you claim is the hallmark of liberalism. not!! My experience is that liberal or conservative we want people to agree with us and if they don''t then we are apt not to like them. Much like your feeling about Christians
Reply to this comment
by alanrobisch October 27, 2007 11:40 PM EDT
As for your viewing of passports from around the world, the extremely provincial nature of your posts suggests you probably don''''t even have your own, let alone have seen others.

Posted by brianbwb at 12:10 AM : Oct 27, 2007

I stand behind my post and your response very well epitomizes the anti-christian nature of many liberals. Note part of my job is to look at passports from all over the world. I have to look at them to see if a person is legally in the US and eligible for a social security card. As most liberals got it they think freedom from religion means freedom from hearing anyone speak about religion like maybe Abe Lincoln in one of his most famous speeches the gettysburg address.

You have a chip on your shoulder. My point is that people such as yourself don''t think christians who are elected can express their own point of view based on their religious beliefs but secular individuals can choose whatever grounds they want to vote on an issue. This does not seem like freedom of religion but freedom from religion much like the soviet communists had.
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by bluescoot47 October 27, 2007 8:09 PM EDT
I am a veteran and I am not in the least bit embarrassed about the new passport. Let the people who have to stamp it deal with it. I am proud to be an American and I am proud of our country.
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by libsluvsuvs October 27, 2007 6:06 PM EDT
just like what the liberals always say..if you dont like it..dont get it..if you have one..rip it up..
Reply to this comment
by libsluvsuvs October 27, 2007 6:04 PM EDT
here is one for all those anti-american liberals..if it bothers them to have an american passport with some pictures of this country''s history..they can always renounce this country and move somewhere more appealing to them..PROBLEM SOLVED...
Reply to this comment
by quatrops October 27, 2007 11:46 AM EDT
What an opportunity they missed! We could have had personalized passports -- given applicants a choice of designs, the same as when they order new checks!

The general theme could have been "Great Moments in American History". I offer, for your consideration, some possible choices:

1. Bush in a flight suit under a "Mission Accomplished" banner.

2. Donald Rumsfeld shaking hands with Saddam Hussein.

3. Cheney''s smirk.

4. For us seniors, the 1948 headline, "Dewey Wins".

Any other suggestions?
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