Andy Needs Help

Andy Rooney Peruses Self-Help Books

(CBS)  This segment was originally broadcast on Oct. 21, 2007.

The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by CBS News correspondent Andy Rooney.

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People send me a lot of books. Most of them come from the authors or publishers. They send then to me hoping I'll mention the books on television. The fact that I never have suggested you buy a book doesn’t seem to deter them.

I get some good books, but I get a lot of junk, too.

What I get most of is self-help or "How To" books. People don't seem to think I know how to do anything.

"How To Speak, How To Listen," by Mortimer Adler.

"How To Stop Complaining." Well, if I stopped complaining I'd be out of business. That's what I do for a living. I don't want "A Complaint Free World."

Naomi Judd has written what she calls "A Guide To Aging Gratefully." Naomi is 61, so I guess one of the ways to age well if you write a book is to use an old picture of yourself on the cover.

Dr. Norman Vincent Peale says "The Joys Of Aging" is "the best book on the subject." I wonder what Dr. Peale's opinion is of some of the worst books on that subject.

"1001 Tips For Buying And Selling A Home." That seems easy enough. You don't need 1001 tips on how to do it though. To sell a house, just bring the price down.

There's a "How To" book with Larry King's name on it. "How To Talk To Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere." It says "With Bill Gilbert" so I imagine Bill had more to do with actually writing it than Larry did, even though Bill's picture isn't on the cover.

"Make Over Your Metabolism," by Robert Reames. I don't know. I'm not going to start fooling around with my metabolism, Mr. Reames. It seems to be working just fine the way it is.

"Women And Money By Suze Orman." Suze's good looking -- I doubt that good-looking women are any better with money than homely women are though.

Some of these titles are unnecessarily clever. Paul Pearsall has written something called "The Last Self- Help Book You'll Ever Need."

Another author called his book "God's Diet." Who would tell God he’s overweight?

Here's the book I really ought to read though: "How To Be Funny." I have a theory about funny. It's almost always a mistake to set out deliberately to be funny. Funny should just come along naturally. I probably ought to read this. Maybe it will give me a better idea for one of these pieces on 60 Minutes. That's where my self-help needs help.

[moody1104]

Andy, you won''t find most 15 year olds watching 60 Minutes on a Sunday night -- but my son does just to see your segment. While I''d like to think he has learned something during the hour long telecast, the conversation after the program is always about your topic. You don''t need a book to learn how to be "funny." If you can hold the attention of a teenager, you''ve already got it down to a science. Thanks.

Lisa Lindamood
Dayton, Ohio

[moody1104]

Andy, you won''t find most 15 year olds watching 60 Minutes on a Sunday night -- but my son does just to see your segment. While I''d like to think he has learned something during the hour long telecast, the conversation after the program is always about your topic. You don''t need a book to learn how to be "funny." If you can hold the attention of a teenager, you''ve already got it down to a science. Thanks.

Lisa Lindamood
Dayton, Ohio

[moody1104]

Andy, you won''t find most 15 year olds watching 60 Minutes on a Sunday night -- but my son does just to see your segment. While I''d like to think he has learned something during the hour long telecast, the conversation after the program is always about your topic. You don''t need a book to learn how to be "funny." If you can hold the attention of a teenager, you''ve already got it down to a science. Thanks.

Lisa Lindamood
Dayton, Ohio

[zebulum1]

ya im withe andy i dont wont no complaint free world it would take all the fun out of retiermint ill be on this old world a long time at 40 yrs old i figuer ill stop writing books soon myself im on the 5th one i dont publisize them i just give them away ther about prity women good and bad times for seeing the world as it is to come and love o ya mostly ther about GOD well andy as allways yur wright agin i think you should run for da prez yud be a gal durn better sight then any we havea chose from this day stop by for a cup any time andy oll man i need to go got to fry up a dozzin chickin legs fuer supper o waight a minit us old cogjers need a self help book well ill just wing it or not as allways keep up da good work yall good show 2 night glad 2 see all of america aint fallin behind alexander usa alaska