"Oops!" When Parents Mess Up

Some Childrearing Shortcuts Are Worse Than Others; Real Simple Magazine Sorts Them Out

(CBS)  Parents try to do their best every day, but sometimes their best just doesn't cut it. After all: Nobody's perfect!

On occasion, parents will take "shortcuts," and some of those have more possible ramifications for their kids than others.

The editors of Real Simple magazine (www.realsimple.com) spoke with experts to find out which shortcuts are the most common, and which carry the most potential negative consequences.

In Part Two of a weeklong series Tuesday, Real Simple's Kris Connell told how harmful some of the most common parenting shortcuts might be, and what parents can do to address what they've done.

Connell presented several "How bad is it?" scenarios.

Real Simple got experts to assess the actions to help parents make the right choice at every turn. The magazine rated the severity of the moves in bananas (just as film critics rate the latest movie releases in stars!). The magazine calls it "Oops! Rating." Oops! Ratings are based on a scale of one to five bananas, with five being the most serious offense, and one the least.

YOU LET THEM EAT OFF THE FLOOR

Oops rating: Two Bananas.

The familiar "five second rule" says, if dropped food has been on the ground for less than five seconds, it's OK to eat. Not so fast, snacker. Nine times out of ten, you won't come down with anything. But that one time you get really ill, you'll ask yourself, "Why did I do it?" Essentially, time has nothing to do with what kinds of germs food picks up. And no matter how clean you think your floors are, invisible dirt and bacteria are there. If you drop it -- discard it!

Damage control: Hand-washing is the single most important thing to do. If you're not patient enough to wash properly with soap and warm water -- lather, rinse, and repeat for the length of two "Happy Birthdays," try an antibacterial gel.

YOU DON'T MAKE THEM BRUSH THEIR TEETH REGULARLY

Oops rating: Four Bananas

Those baby teeth are important. They maintain space for grownup teeth. If one is lost because of neglect, other teeth drift into its place, requiring expensive orthodontic correction down the line. Also, since baby teeth have nerves, children can miss a significant amount of school due to dental pain. If decay gets to the root, your child will have to endure a "baby" root canal.

Damage control: Brush twice a day. And start flossing between the ages of 4 and 7, when back teeth come in. If you child indulges in sweets (even healthy treats, such as dried fruit), but a brush isn't handy afterward, have your child drink water to clear the sugar.

YOU WAKE YOUR SLEEPING BABY

Oops rating: Two Bananas

It's an old wives' tale that you shouldn't wake a sleeping baby, and you'll definitely want to at times. In the first month or two, waking a newborn for daytime feedings helps establish a parent-friendly schedule of feeding more frequently during the day and sleeping for longer stretches at night. You may also want to wake a child to keep her on a regular nap and sleep schedule, getting her up so she'll be able to go to sleep again at the right time.

Damage control: Avoid the overanxious-parent mistake of waking a sleeping baby at night. A healthy baby who is gaining weight will get up on her own when she's hungry; if a dirty diaper isn't bothering her, don't let it bother you. Just sleep. You'll need it.

YOU SEND THEM INTO THE COLD WITHOUT A HAT, SCARF, MITTENS OR LAYERS OF FLEECE

Oops rating: Two Bananas

Contrary to popular belief, minor illnesses, such as upper-respiratory infections, aren't caused by cold weather. Because people tend to spend more time in confined spaces in winter, the chances of being exposed to a virus are greater, which is why cold weather is associated with colds. However, bundling up kids will help prevent frostbite and hypothermia, conditions directly related to cold temperatures.

Damage control: Let your inner thermostat be your guide. If you're comfortable without a jacket, your 5-year-old will be, too.

YOU LET THE KIDS SLEEP WITH YOU

Oops rating: Three Bananas

The American Academy of Pediatrics discourages bed sharing in a child's first year, mainly for safety reasons, since beds can be dangerous sleeping environments. After one year, sharing a bed can be less fraught. If it's an occasional thing -- the child has a bad dream -- that's fine. But when he has trouble falling asleep several times a week and you resort to bringing him into bed, you have a problem. The child doesn't learn to get back to sleep on his own; you, the tired parents, have less patience to deal with him, and the lack of parental intimacy is bad for everybody.

Damage control: set a pillow and a blanket on the floor next to your bed where your child can sleep if he wakes. Keep in mind that sharing a bed with a sibling can be just as comforting for a young child as sleeping with Mom and Dad. Encourage your child to use a "transitional object" -- a comforting blanket or a stuffed animal.

[marcpcbs]

These days parents seem to need all the help they can get. Maybe this oops rating system is a good start. Even if today''s parents were raised by irresponsible parents themselves, they can still learn to do the job of parenting correctly.

Sometimes parent''s need to be a heartfull broken records and keep hammering at "clean you room" or "do your homework".

To many time parents feel they don''t have the right to preach in an area that they themselves failed in. Wrong! In these areas parents should pass on their first hand wisdom.

I spent 18 years as step-dad in a relationship where the mom never said the word "no" to her kid''s cause she didn''t like to hear it when she was growing up. You can''t believe the damage this caused. These kids didn''t end up prepared for anything.