Man Denied Adoption Has Gastric Bypass

Missouri Foster Parent Prevented From Adopting Child Because He Is Overweight Undergoes Surgery

(CBS/AP)  A man who weighed 558 pounds when a judge prevented him from adopting a child he and his wife had taken into their home underwent gastric bypass surgery in a bid to win the child back.

Gary Stocklaufer, a 34-year-old truck driver, and his wife claim a judge unfairly discriminated against them because of his weight in deciding to give 4-month-old Max to another couple for possible adoption. The infant from Arlington, Texas, who is related to the Stocklaufers, had lived with them since he was a week old.

This is considered the first case where a couple seeking to adopt has resorted to surgery in the increasingly prevalent practice of denying parents adoptions because they are obese, several adoption experts said.

Officials in Missouri, where the Stocklaufers are from and where the judge's ruling was made, would not confirm the reason Max was removed from the couple's home, citing the confidentiality of ongoing court proceedings in adoption cases.

But Stocklaufer told CBS Station KTVT correspondent Jack Fink that the judge felt, "I wouldn’t live long enough to see the child grown, to raise the child."

Stocklaufer dieted before the surgery and weighed 480 pounds when he entered the Renaissance Hospital in Dallas for the operation that could help him shed more than half his bulk.

Renaissance Hosptial and Dr. Wade Barker heard about Stocklaufer's story and wanted to help, so they offered to perform gastric bypass surgery on Stocklaufer free of charge. "Dr. Barker, Renaissance Hospital, are happy to do this," said hospital spokeswoman Angie Flores. "They know the injustice that he has been through," hospital spokeswoman Angie Flores told Fink.

"They have legally kidnapped this child," Cindy Stocklaufer said Friday as her husband recovered from surgery. "There's no guarantee losing the weight will change anything, but we have to try."

"Failure is not an option," Gary Stocklaufer told Fink.

The Jackson County court in Missouri is required "to consider the welfare and best interests of the child" which is a "complicated determination," court spokeswoman Kelley Carpenter said in an e-mail.

An adoptive parent's health is one of the factors considered by investigators at the Missouri Department of Social Services, said the department's communications director, Ana Margarita Compain-Romero. She could not comment on the specifics of the case.

James Waits, a lawyer for the couple taking care of Max, declined to comment. Max is in adoptive placement with the couple, Cindy Stocklaufer said.

The Stocklaufers have been married 15 years and are licensed by the state of Missouri as foster parents and cared for children. In November 2000, they adopted another relative, 8-year-old Robert. The same judge who denied their petition to adopt Max approved Robert's adoption after multiple house visits and background checks, Cindy Stocklaufer said.

Even then, her husband weighed more than 500 pounds. "They never even mentioned it when we adopted Bobby, and he was the same size," she said.

Lee Allen, vice president of the National Council for Adoption, said he believes the court has forgotten the best interest of the child in this case, considering the Stocklaufers are the boy's relatives chosen as parents by the birth mother with a previous successful adoption.

"What I'm really, really impressed with is the fact that this man is willing to go to whatever lengths to adopt Max and raise him," he said.

More and more American agencies have started considering the weight of adoption applicants as they place children, said Gloria Hochman, spokeswoman for the National Adoption Center, though definitions of dangerous obesity vary by state agency.

The regulations are designed to insure permanency for the child, she said.

In May, the Chinese government began considering the body mass index of American parents when screening couples' eligibility for international adoption.

[gunnerv1]

Best of luck to him, I had the same thing done and went from a 58 inch to a 38 inch waist and from 340 pounds to 200 pounds (I''m 6''1") in less than six months. Aside from the pain from the surgery and the gas from eating anything with sugar, it''s the best thing that I ever had done. I really have to try to gain weight now. If I miss one meal, I''ll lose two pounds.

[michellem99-2009]

I can''t give money or write a letter as I am legaglly blind..I am against this nanny govt breaking up child and bonded father/mother. It won''t bond with another the child most likely won''t. I never did. In America only fat persons...Nope...The car is the blame for the laziness as well.. I was a pissed child as the bloody state stole me from my poor loving home to have shoved me in a failed foster home system that never met my needs and lied to my father. Same with a school system.. Give the child to them and stop playing god with living things.
I am 52. I spent my whole school years in foster homes abused ones. I used to cry to sleep in them. My room mate can still hear me crying in my sleep and once asked me about it. I was unawared I cried in my sleep. I feel for the children. Best to them and I wish them the beat in this fight. BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER.

[michellem99-2009]

I can''t give money or write a letter as I am legaglly blind..I am against this nanny govt breaking up child and bonded father/mother. It won''t bond with another the child most likely won''t. I never did. In America only fat persons...Nope...The car is the blame for the laziness as well.. I was a pissed child as the bloody state stole me from my poor loving home to have shoved me in a failed foster home system that never met my needs and lied to my father. Same with a school system.. Give the child to them and stop playing god with living things.
I am 52. I spent my whole school years in foster homes abused ones. I used to cry to sleep in them. My room mate can still hear me crying in my sleep and once asked me about it. I was unawared I cried in my sleep. I feel for the children. Best to them and I wish them the beat in this fight. BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER.

[momame43]

PLEASE support this family! Follow this link to find all the info to file a letter of complaint with this court, as well as the address for the fund set up to help them with legal fees.

http://open.adoptionblogs.com/index.php/weblogs/a-blue-ribbon-for-baby-max

Gary is to have had his surgery at this time, all prayers are appreciated by this family!

[keithle1]

"The same judge who denied their petition to adopt Max approved Robert''s adoption after multiple house visits and background checks, Cindy Stocklaufer said."

So what''s the problem now, Judge? Not like he
was 180 pounds when you approved Robert''s adoption. It''s not like the man is refusing to
do anything about his obesity. Not like he''s sitting on the coach shovelling Twinkies & donuts in his mouth saying, "Screw you, Judge."

It''s all about whether you love the kids & will put them first in your life.

[colonieny]

The health risks for this man is tremendoous, including being bed ridden, and having diabetes so that he has difficulty walking from arterial disease, and blindness. With that as a probable future, he is a prime candidate for this surgery. I do not believe it is his "fault" but I applaud his decision to have the surgery. Since they, he seem like loving parents, I do not see why the judge "rushed" into this decision against them.
Does the judge have any personal relationship with the "winning" couple ?

This seems like another example of judges making things up as they go along. I for one fear such a system- both arbritory and costly. Look at these two celbrities, getting no jail time. what would have happen to you or me or our kids. Besides harsh penaly, Felony, and probably kicked out of school and jobs for life. Look at OJ. Look at some poor guys freed after years on death row.

[keithle1]

Only in America do we have people that weigh 558 pounds.

He must really love the child if he went through the gastric bypass surgery. Leave ''em alone.

[kevinmbdeowo]

As an adult adoptee (58) I feel I can offer some first hand observations.
1. They HAVE BEEN THE PARENTS for four months.
2. Strong bonds and feelings are already in place, with ALL family members.
3. THEY ARE Family and there is the precedence of having allowed them to adopt the other boy by the SAME JUDGE.
4. Why is the other family already in the process of adopting this child when there are appeals in the works?
5. GIVE HIM BACK.

[michellem99-2009]

The judges..children are to be with the ones they boned with. No bloody court should break that bond. The only parent I boned with was Dad. Back then the mother got the kids. Or she would not raise them, the state grabbed them/us. Family comes first and they raise their own..Not some legal system--nanny govt. Mum/Dad...They won''t grow up to raise the kid as long as the nanny state will raise the child,they go on their merry way just to breed more.Never ending on ans on..The child is a living thing..not an item to toss here/there.

[galaxiana]

This case is frightening, because the fact of being FAMILY to the child has always been the overwhelming first consideration in who should get to adopt, with the birth mother''s wishes being a strong second. I can understand disallowing adoption if the family member has drug or alcohol problems, is a felon, or other things that have happened in the PAST that make them unsuitable. But to say that someone MIGHT, in the FUTURE, MAYBE not be fit is ridiculous.

As others have said, it''s hard enough to find people willing to adopt babies more than a week old, why make it even harder for them based on MAYBE MIGHT BE''s? I know of many very obese people who lived long, full lives. Some people are just built BIG. This man looks like one of them. Is the pendulum of our prickly, politically-correct, don''t-blame-people-for-being-born-what-they-were society finally swinging the other direction?

[welovebjhope]

It doesn''t matter how thin or wealthy or educated another couple might be. The best interests of the child lie in being with his biological brother and his loving relatives, no matter what their size.

Also, since there is a biological basis for obesity, it''s highly likely that the infant will grow up to be overweight himself - no matter who he lives with.

Looking back 20 years from now, he could potentially be the "fat one" in a house full of thin people... THAT won''t be in his best interests at all.

[momame43]

This is unjust, not the first in this MO county, my family can relate. Our adoption in same court, few of same court persons involved, came close to denying our adoption because we%u2019re white and our son is black. All this though both his birthparents choose us for their son, and had done nothing that would have their child removed or placed in foster care (he wasn%u2019t, this was voluntary placement, as was Max%u2019s) The court accepted termination of parental rights, even as they told us they were unsure if we could finalize. This is unjust, the courts theft of a baby from it%u2019s biological parent, because it does not give placing parents the option of reclaiming a child if courts do not approve an adopting couple. Many birthmothers would rather reclaim their child and search for another family if the first were not allowed to adopt, then have their child languish in foster care and have no ability to know what happens to them.
Max%u2019s birthmother is Gary%u2019s cousin.This couple is being unfairly robbed of their adoptive son,and the birthmother%u2019s right to make a decision for her son%u2019s future have been rescinded. She decide the Stocklaufers would best parent her child, after the fact she has been stripped of her initial decision.
Please support them, the actions of this court might be coming soon, to a town near you!

[momame43]

I have been in touch with this family, and have blogged about their situation at www.adoptionblogs.com. All articles may be viewed at the following link.. http://open.adoptionblogs.com/index.php/weblogs/a-blue-ribbon-for-baby-max
Link to a letter of protest there, and info about where to send it. Link to a legal fund set up to help the Stocklaufers. The family is asking people wear a baby blue ribbon to show support, and thanks everyone who are outraged at this injustice.

[michellem99-2009]

I was a sp needs foster child. I was abused in every foster home. My mother hated me. My dad loves me. Her boyfriend broke up the marriage. I was 5. Dad never abused me...mother she walked..You think the foster home ststem cares...Sorry they don''t..That bloody check.
I was not taught much in them homes and it the schools. I was the only legally blind and multi handicapped there and a girl..They hated girls. Blind girls at that. This was pre computer,ADA...I have lived in MO and they are more backwards than New Eegland and I am a Mainer..I have to wonder is hs a diabeteic and that might be the reason he is heavy. Some do over eat,some have health issues/on meds that puts the wt on. I eat one meal a day /I have to heat it in the microwave. I am 140. I am 52.

[tmkgls]

So what does the government plan to do? Not allow obese people to have children? Sterilize them all? That would be the same thing as not allowing obese people to adopt. I wasn''t allowed to adopt because I didn''t have enough money and lived in a small 1/2 house. She was a relative but they didn''t care. She was also a special needs child and I had researched extensively as to her needs. They complain about not enough people adopting and then they make it too difficult to adopt.

[cmp271]

Legal discrimination! The Judge should be sued for this, violating this man''s civil rights. The Judge may as well have told the man he is too fat to be a human being who cares about kids. Plus the fact these kids are related to him.
What''s next? Taking kids away from parents who are too fat? This whole country is overweight. Watch "Supersize Me" it is a real eye-opener. When schools clean up their act and feed our kids decent nutritious meals then the judicial system will have a point. Parents are guilty too of too much fast food. We are a nation of fat people. Our fast food has also infected the rest of the world.

The best job to have now is to be a bariatric surgeon,an endocrinologist, and cardiologist for all the future diseases caused by obesity/being fat.

[bb19631]

The child has been with this
CARING couple since 1 week old, now the baby is 4 months old, I say bonding already started between the family unit. Not to mention he is a relative. What does weight have to do with the decision, anyways. Don''t the courts usually look for relatives first. I applaude this man for trying every opposion possible to prove to the court, he is a decent role model. Lots of luck to him and his family....

[undermyboot]

Let''s keep this going! Only rich, beautiful, Repug, Christian Taliban should be allowed to adopt! LOFLMAO

[xzavierbrown]

Posted by crzmeat at 05:07 PM : Aug 25, 2007
+ report abuse

*****
The lesson of the story here is HIS desire to change himself because he really cares. He wanted to adopt the child that he is will to sacrifice. A sacrifice that will benefit both the man and the child.

[Krazcarl]

Does anyone out there realize how large 558 lbs. is that''s like smoking 2 cartons of cigarettes a day. Do agree with Mitywhity about queer adoption. Lot of people get caught up in this foster parent thing the money is good and benies food stamps fuel assist free insurance. I side with the judge we want these chilren in good homes not with walking time bombs. Does anyone out there realize how much you have to eat to maintain a body mass of near 600 lbs were not talking munchies were talking mental health issues.