Just Ask A Woman . . . About Menopause

(CBS)  Remember that ad campaign in the '80s for Oil of Olay? "I don't want to grow old gracefully. I intend to fight it every inch of the way."

I think that sums up the way this generation feels about menopause. Women are taking it to the streets, on everything from mugs to T-shirts to doormats that say "They're not hot flashes. I'm on my summer vacation."

There's a North American Menopause Society. There's a board game. There's a hit touring musical, (Imagine "Stayin' Awake" to the tune of "Saturday Night Fever"'s "Stayin' Alive.")

I always thought it wasn't a good idea to talk about politics, religion or sex, especially with co-workers, strangers, or well, just about anybody who wasn't a close friend.

So, you'd think that menopause was certainly taboo for dinnertime or watercooler chat. But with over 20 million women of menopausal age in the U.S., it's pretty hard to keep it private.

I've interviewed dozens of women who are going through what was once called (in hushed tones!) the "change of life." And I've learned that taking menopause out of the closet -- or the ladies room -- is one way to gain support and understanding of a natural, but challenging phase of life.

From the Red Hot Mamas national support group to websites like bikinisandbifocals.com to girlfriend Margarita nights, women are talking out loud, online and off, in an effort to commiserate and cope.

While many tease about ripping off jackets, running the air conditioner in the winter, or doing the covers on/covers off/covers on dance all night in bed, others feel a kind of emotional road rage thanks to mood swings and sleep deprivation.

Spouses and partners get the full brunt of the hormonal shifts, often laced with sarcastic humor. One woman told me, "My husband asked me 'What's for dinner?' and I answered, 'What do you mean by that?'" When confronted by her husband about her erratic moods, another woman retorted, "I haven't changed, I just don't have the ability to tolerate YOU any more!"

Not that menopause is an LOL affair, but women will admit that they've been grinning and bearing their way through so many trials over the course of their lives, they're literally warmed up for this one.

Sometimes kidding and commiserating with friends is the only way to cool it. But the good news is that mixed with the jokes is a real national conversation, that's putting a topic that was once taboo, center stage. With 20 percent of women in America in the menopause age range, it's time to face the facts of life. It's a change for the better.

So, while a little humor goes a long way toward managing menopause, there's still nothing like solid information, mutual support and some quality conversation with your doctor. Meanwhile, grab your favorite Red Hot Mama and give her a hug. Or take her to see "Menopause, the Musical" where hot flashes get standing ovations!

[drpatallen]

It's wonderful to see so much enthusiasm for more open conversations about menopause. A group of us in New York started Women's Voices for Change in 2005 to celebrate the power and vitality of women in and beyond the menopausal transition.

Today on our website, www.WomensVoicesForChange.org, you'll find women's health information (including a Q&A column about menopause, Ask Dr. Pat), along with political news, interviews with influential women, media analysis and cultural commentary.

You'll also find essays written by readers about their own journeys through menopause. We hope you join us!

[minniepauz]

Mary Lou, even though some women are hit really hard with symptoms and others are sailing through it, we can all be helped by finding a really supportive website to get answers, find support and yes, even a chuckle or two. I'm kind of the "grandmother" of bringing humor replacement therapy to the web with my cartoon character, Minnie Pauz, over 10 years ago. For all of us women, I say, thank GOD for the internet!!

[babyboomerbe]

I am the "new" face of menopause. I am not suffering in silence as my mother and her friends did. I am eager to share my journey as an encouragement to other women who are also going through it or want to know what to expect.

Hot flashes at inconvenient times have turned into some of the funniest stories between my girlfriends and me. It also helps to have a wonderful, understanding husband which I am truly thankful for.

I say "Enjoy your menopause!" and then move on to the next wonderful phase of your life.

[megcbsnews]

There are some wonderful gynecologists out there now who specialize in menopausal symptoms and if you feel yourself unraveling, I suggest you locate one in your area. I found one such doctor when I just couldn't handle the lack of sleep, the constant sweats, the mood swings. I tried every over-the-counter/health food store product and none even made a slight difference. I had some other stressful things going on in my life, and the menopausal symptoms just about put me over the edge. My doctor tested my hormone levels, listened to me discuss my symptoms and laid out my options. I now take a very low dose birth control pill and it has made my life bearable. I sleep through the night, I've stopped sweating, my emotions are in check, my memory is back and I feel like myself again. I know everyone is afraid of HRT, but it beats not having any positive quality of life or being able to do your job and uphold your responsibilities.

[mtuton]

It was great that your story touched on menopause and gave ideas of how to deal with the changes. I am 42 years old and went into menopause around the age of 37. I believe this happened to my body early because I had a tubal ligation. My doctor disagrees. I am wondering if there are other women out there with similar experiences. Also, I struggle with the decision to take hormone replacement therapy because of my concerns about breast cancer. I would love for you to do a more in depth story on the causes of early menopause and treatments.

[mcjmiller3]

I just have a question, I had a hysterectomy at age 22 years old, I am now 43 and always hot, but night time, oh my god it's the worst. So am I goig through menopause naturaly? I do not take anything for hormone repalcement.
Thank-you

[maryloucbs]

To A28211,
Your idea of celebrating the passage of menopause is terrific. Women who look on this as a step toward a freer and more powerful future, in the company of millions of other women who are on the same journey, is so wonderful. And chocolates and caviar sound like a great way to start! Mary Lou

[maryloucbs]

To Kelly:
I'm really sorry that your boss was so insensitive to call you out in front of all your co-workers. My only thought about him is, that if his own wife was suffering from it, he wouldn't be so quick to be joke. (At least, I hope not.) As far as symptoms, they typically include hot flashes (sudden intense feelings of inner heat which might have been why you were feeling the lack of air conditioning), night sweats (where you may awaken actually soaked with perspiration, and find it difficult to get back to sleep) and unexplainable mood swings (though that boss of yours might be a cause!) So, even though you are young, realize that perimenopause can start in your 40s and last for several years. It's worth a conversation with your doctor to check it out. Good luck! Mary Lou

[maryloucbs]

To Blondie: Unfortunately, there's no magic answer to losing weight after a hysterectomy. The same answers apply...eat less and drink more. But it might be that you need some time that's just meant to get you feeling strong and centered so you can commit to a plan for yourself. And that's where a little yoga or meditation time can slow you down and help you gain resolve. It's certainly a chance for some Blondie time...which you deserve. Mary Lou

[maryloucbs]

Hi Ivastine,
Love that you are taking steps to take control of your menopause before it controls you. Like any other health or life change condition, each woman's experience is unique and the solution needs to be, too. And you're right, husbands can be a great source of support. Good luck to you and, as you said, to all the women who are changing the way they deal with 'the change'! Mary Lou