Lawyer Tried To Take Them To The Cleaners

Special Contributor Lloyd Garver Weighs In On A Different Kind Of Threat To The American Way

(CBS)  I know the price of everything keeps rising, but when I read recently that a man in Washington, D.C. wanted somewhere between $54 and $67 million for a pair of pants, it seemed to me it was a bit high. I mean, if you were to pay $50 or $60 million for a pair of pants, wouldn't you at least expect them to come with a jacket and vest?

This absurd amount is how much Roy Pearson sought from a dry cleaners for allegedly losing his pants. They were gray trousers with blue and red stripes on them. They were his favorite pair of pants, and he had planned on wearing them on the first day of his new job. We all like to make a good impression, but I try to keep my first day wardrobe under $10,000,000.

Pearson claims that the Custom Cleaners of Washington, D.C., lost those special pants. The owners of the cleaners, Jin and Soo Chung, offered him more and more compensation to avoid the legal fees of a lawsuit, but Pearson kept saying, "No." After a week, the Chungs found the missing pants, but Pearson claimed they weren't his — despite their unique styling and the matching receipt.

Instead, he twisted a consumer protection law around and used its formula to come up with the figure of $64,800,000. Then he added what it would cost him to rent a car to go to a different cleaners for the next ten years, some more money for "mental suffering," and, of course, legal fees.

Perhaps you wonder how Pearson found an attorney willing to take his case. Well, he didn't have to look far. He represented himself. Yep, he's a lawyer. Pearson wasn't just a lawyer, but at the time of the lawsuit, he was a judge. Presiding as an administrative judge was the new job that he was excited about and why he wanted to wear those special pants in the first place. The judge who heard this case recently ruled against Pearson. Because of his behavior, Pearson might not get re-appointed to the bench. But if he loses his job, will the Chungs be able to collect legal fees from him? And what are they supposed to do with those pants with the red and blue stripes?

It's bad enough when an ordinary citizen brings about a ridiculous lawsuit. But I think there should be severe penalties for lawyers and judges — officers of the court — who are deemed to have wasted everybody's time and money with ridiculous lawsuits. They should know better.

Obviously, The Case Of the Pantless Judge isn't the first "frivolous" lawsuit that we've heard of. People in this country sue each other all the time. Just while you're reading this, I'm sure some kid has sued his mother and father for not giving him a nicer house to grow up in.

In 1991, a guy sued Anheuser-Busch for $10,000 for false advertising. He was upset because when he drank beer, he didn't succeed with women, as promised in the TV ads. In 1996, a Florida physical therapist sued his local nudie bar, claiming whiplash from a lap dancer's large breasts, which he claimed felt like "cement blocks" hitting him. And the list of "frivolous" lawsuits goes on and on.

But I think "frivolous" is too, well, frivolous a word for these kinds of cases. It doesn't even matter that most of these cases — like Roy Pearson's — are thrown out of court. Look at the damage that they do.

There are all kinds of books and movies these days about terrorists scheming to bring America to a halt. Sometimes these stories involve traffic, sometimes the stock market, and sometimes radio and television. But what about what's happening in our courts every day? All terrorists have to do is sit back and watch.

These lawsuits tie up the courts, and often cost the taxpayers money. Or their unfortunate victims have to pay legal fees that ruin them financially. Moreover, these kinds of lawsuits contribute to a decreased confidence in our legal system. It's not supposed to be something we laugh at; it's supposed to be something we respect and can count on.

Those who make a mockery of our system by bringing about suits like this make me so mad that sometimes I just feel like suing the pants off them.

---

Lloyd Garver has written for many television shows, ranging from "Sesame Street" to "Family Ties" to "Frasier." He also has several pairs of pants, some of them with stripes.

[coffeehead-2009]

Judge Roy Pearson obviousley has a mental problem.
As he brought this frivolous suit in the first place and then cried in court would make me wonder about his qualifications to sit on the bench.
Pearson needs psychiatric help.
Posted by tibu987 at 02:39 PM : Jul 18, 2007

The judge is not the only one --
acknowledging exceptions...

My trade - involves consumerism. You all are very "needy" and rarely do I find professionals that aren't LOOKING for opportunities to insult and find fault with the "human" side of business. It is almost like a need to take every life frustration out on the "common" worker. --- Lawyers - ALWAYS threaten and demand "management" or "your corporate number"-
Even when they have NO comprehension of how your trade works/or the error *mistrial* rate of the business your in - they are experts and cannot perceive reality that they do NOT know everything and human error is just that - error,
not assault on pants-intentional destruction of your drool stained tie-
#1 rule in my trade - when you smell them *and you do within a few seconds* - call your manager and remove yourself from the insults and threats.

[kaiyo4u]

You think this is bad..? When I sat in for jury duty a few years ago, I found out the State of Oregon allows the court to keep 60% if the plaintiff wins. The attorney gets 20 - 30%. What are you left with? Chump change. Our whole legal system needs an overhaul and the plaintiff in this case needs to be keel hauled.


What do you call 10,000 attorneys at the bottom of a lake?


A good start!

[jetranger7]

If this Idiot came into my business and demanded that I pay him that kind of money or filed a Law Suit againt me for that amount I'd have a Black Cadillac around back with the Trunk Open and lined with plastic,do I hear Trunk Music ?? Wasn't that a Scene in the Movie Goodfellas ??

[fake-id-2009]

"Lawyers are scum, our legal system, is a joke, judges are corrupt useless pigs...welcome to the garbage dump of law." Posted by taddles at 12:37 PM : Jul 18, 2007
_________________________

I agree. Why do you think our governments is so screwwed up? There are far too many lawyers in our govermnent. But then, the current business major isn't doing much better.

[fake-id-2009]

"Judge Roy Pearson obviousley has a mental problem..." Posted by tibu987 at 02:39 PM : Jul 18, 2007
_____________________

That makes him a prime candidate for a position in the Bush administration.

[ubikvalis2]

A simple solution would be: A judge can declare a lawsuit to be "frivolous" and totally without merit. The loser then has to pay DOUBLE the court costs AND legal fees of the winning party.

[cmp271]

This guy was racist, no doubt in my mind. He was offered the correct pants and refused them. I am glad the judge ruled against him. He needs to be disbarred and sued in return for the mental stress he caused these decent people. What a lesson for them to learn about Americans, and from a judicial employee!!!
Sue the racist idiot!!!

[tibu987]

Judge Roy Pearson obviousley has a mental problem.
As he brought this frivolous suit in the first place and then cried in court would make me wonder about his qualifications to sit on the bench.
Pearson needs psychiatric help.

[neenga]

Here in France, medical cost are about 20% of the same service in the States... Sueing vertually doesn't exist here. Maybe there is a relationship between these two facts. So stop giving people a million plus for a spilt cup of hot coffee at MacDanald's !
Posted by sirgregoire

Let's all move to France, where everything is perfecto!

[neenga]

"If we would go to a loser pays, then these lawsuits would go away." [Posted by rmsdm4]

Right you are!

[mitch0927]

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity."

The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.

[mitch0927]

"How much does it cost for engineer brain?"

"Three dollars an ounce."

"How much does it cost for programmer brain?"

"Four dollars an ounce."

"How much for lawyer brain?"

"$1,000 an ounce."

"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"

"Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"

[taddles-2009]

"If we would go to a loser pays, then these lawsuits would go away.
Posted by rmsdm4 at 11:32 AM : Jul 18, 2007"

Or at least loser pays if it's deemed frivolous. We also need to change how Lawyers get paid. Raking in 40-50% of a class action multi-million dollar law suit is just ridiculous. No dam lawyer should ever walk away from a law suit with more money than God and leave the plaintiffs with just enough pocket change for a cup of coffee. Lawyers are scum, our legal system, is a joke, judges are corrupt useless pigs...welcome to the garbage dump of law.

[oleander8]

"If we would go to a loser pays, then these lawsuits would go away." [Posted by rmsdm4]

I love it! and there should be an additional fine for lawyers who accept these cases when they KNOW they are frivolous.

[michellem99-2009]

It seems America is SUE HAPPY.It makes me sick. It is the bloody dollar. The poor have it far worse. The fines are so high they can't pay them.The whole system need an major overhaul so it is fair. It is not. LETS TOSS GREED OUT and just maybe this b s will stop. Nice thinking on my part. It is a battle the haves vs the have nots. Us poor who get poorer. I am in my 50s.

[rmsdm4]

If we would go to a loser pays, then these lawsuits would go away.

[sirgregoire-2009]

Here in France, medical cost are about 20% of the same service in the States... Sueing vertually doesn't exist here. Maybe there is a relationship between these two facts. So stop giving people a million plus for a spilt cup of hot coffee at MacDanald's !

[extremophil]

This article is embarrassing. I'm suing.

[mitch0927]

Because deep down, lawyers are good.

[mitch0927]

Why do they bury lawyers 20 deep when they pass away intead of 6 feet like most people?