Study: Women Wear The Pants In Marriage

Wives, On Average, Wield More Decision-Making Power, Research Finds

(WebMD)  Men may rule the world but women rule the roost, according a new study that shows women wield considerably more decision-making power than men within marriages.

Researchers found that wives, on average, displayed more power than their husbands during problem-solving discussions, regardless of who brought up the topic of discussion.

And it's not simply a case of women talking more than men.

"It wasn't just that the women were bringing up issues that weren't being responded to, but that the men were actually going along with what they said," researcher Megan Murphy, assistant professor of human development and family studies at Iowa State University, says in a news release. "They were communicating more powerful messages, and men were responding to those messages by agreeing or giving in."

"There's been research that suggests that's a marker of a healthy marriage — that men accept influence from their wives," Murphy says.

Women Have Marriage Power

The study involved 72 married couples from Iowa who were observed and
evaluated while they discussed problems in their relationship of their own choosing. The average age of the participants was about 33 and average length of marriage was seven years.

Researchers videotaped the discussions and then coded the couple's behaviors according to a widely used interaction rating system.

The results showed that women appeared to have more power during the
discussions in the form of domineering and dominant behaviors than their husbands, regardless of who brought up the topic.

Researchers say the findings contradict the current societal power
structure.

"This study at least suggests that the marriage is a place where women can exert some power," researcher David Vogel, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Iowa State, says in the release. "Whether or not it's because of changing societal roles, we don't know. But they are, at least, taking responsibility and power in these relationships."

The study appears in the Journal of Counseling Psychology.

[petesis]

Sounds like to remain married a man must be submissive. That is one way of looking at it. No thanks.

[gangesdak]

Need a research for this, Jennifer! Accept what she says, or else! Peace will prevail only then. Perhaps the researchers asked these intelligent questions in front of the wives. Yes Dear.

[shanev137]

72 couples from Iowa. Is this a joke?

[rfcnj68]

A study of 72 couples in a population of how many people, to me kind of a bios study that can be skewed either way. But there is some truth in this I'm sure I know in my case there are times I would rather her make the decision about small things because my day is filled with decisions about one thing or another for my job, so people do not die. Bigger items I want to be able to sit and talk about and make the decision together. If that makes my wife the boss then yes she is and she can keep that title.

[blood66]

Just another fact to show by this article women are never happy with what they got. They have to prove they are they wear the pants in the relationship b.s i'll say whatever to my wife i'll agree to whatever she says just to have *** you can think your right but there not.

[erasmus6]

It's cause women are smarter!
Did you ever hear my story about how woman can use both sides of their brain and men only one...... And how men's brains shrink with age....? hmmmm?

[k517]

Let me guess; Petesis is a divorced chauvinist who feels threatened by strong, smart women. Sounds like a insecurity problem to me.

[erasmus6]

Don't get your shorts in knot!

[infidel_us]

It's cause they own 100% of the pudy. :)

[infidel_us]

72 couples from Iowa. Is this a joke?
Posted by shanev137 at 03:11 PM : Jul 09, 2007

No Mary Lou....I said "SHUCK" the corn!!!! :)
It's called the pussafication of America. Welcome to it.

[k517]

Blood66, your wife probably IS right every time, with the exception of marrying you and then not divorcing you immediately.

[k517]

guyfrompa45, don't talk about women "whining". You just did the same thing yourself.

[cherryfries]

Why is it okay for men to "control" the marriage but it's not okay if women have more power? Is it because the men feel intimidated by the women? Maybe it's because women are no longer being the passive gender anymore. Change sure sucks for you controlling men who feel women belong in the kitchen cooking your dinner.

[mjm117]

Funny. People here will just debate like every marriage is the same. Sometimes, a marriage needs to be controlled by one over the other. Tough to generalize relationships. Just live your own lives and stop worrying about whether your old high school friend is p*ssywhiped. Jesus people.

[k517]

Web6242, I hope all your "married friends" find out how you referred to them, simply because they value what their wives say. Better still, I hope their WIVES find out how you referred to them and maybe they won't "allow" your buddies to "come out and play with you any more"! You're just jealous because they've obviously got something more substantial going on in their lives than you do. If you can't see that, then PLEASE do the ladies a favor and DON'T EVER GET MARRIED.

[smooth881]

I'm sure glad I've never been married. What guy in his right mind would want to put up with the "whinin' wife" and being P-Whupped for 20 years? Players Rule!!!!!!!

[k517]

sillywilly4, your name says it all! If you believe THAT, you really are silly.

[mjm117]

Smooth, have fun when you're 65 and alone. I have myself a catch for a wife (way better looking then what I deserve) who I view as an equal (no she doesn't make all the decisions and neither do I). I hope you find happiness once your player skills run out and there are no more people to play!

[k517]

smooth881, you just keep on keepin' on with your "playa" self. Decent women see right through losers like you. Oh well, you can always hire a paid escort when you get old and gray and ALONE.

My ex- only thought she wore the pants, and in her case that is why she is now my ex- she never kept them on around her men friends

[stezzer]

I must admit my wife rules the roost. I don't mind. As long as she has my dinner on the table, my pipe filled with tobacco and my slippers warming by the fire when I get home at night.

If you're reading this darling, I'm only joking....honest.

[news3497]

It makes perfect sense, since boys/men stop maturing at age 13...

just kidding, fellas. Couldn't resist the joke!

[krannawitter]

Makes perfect sense. The survey is obviously about marriages in the US. Note that the US has the highest divorce rates of the world. Just over the spring the divorced rate went over 50% for the first time! More than half of all marriages end in divorce.

I want to know if these statistics are tied together. Perhaps all these marriages where women are in chanrge are the ones ending in divorce. Like i said, it makes perfect sense.

[jlriesbeck]

I must say I am glad that my husband listens to my opinion. Communication is a key. Even if you are having problems if you can't talk about it you are in more trouble than the problems are causing.

[passerby2]

what man out there really cares whether it's curtains or "upholstery" that's covering the widows or what color the walls are? we just want to live in peace and see our women happy.

[jimfinster]

Men tend to make decisions based on analysis and logic. Women tend to make decisions based on emotion. Which is the best method for making a decision?

I can hardly wait for the angry responses!!

[passerby2]

by living in peace i mean we don't want our wives nagging us over everything little thing

[rudy2281]

Any qualified researcher will recognize that 72 married couples is insufficient a base on which to come to quantitative conclusions. At best, the survey is a 'fun' qualitative study which is representative only of the 72 couples in Iowa. But then, Katie needed a story.

As to the point made about 'power' sharing, if the husband is not listening to and acting upon the views of his wife, it's a sad marriage. However, I doubt that the wife is making the majority of decisions as far as marriages across the U.S. is concerned. They shouldn't be, any more than men should be making all of the decisions. It's a shared responsibility.

[republic1776]

"Maybe it'll take a women to clean the house"

-- Nancy Polosi

LOL

[nmyopinion]

The men go along with the wives just so they don't have to hear the constant whining. It's a pointless and no win situation.
(Posted by guyfrompa45)
DITTO!!!
It's really just that men can get over it. They can deal with the fact that they may be right in theory, but will never - ever get a consensus. -not that I'm whining, mind you-

[jimfinster]

"The results showed that women appeared to have more power during the discussions in the form of domineering and dominant behaviors than their husbands, regardless of who brought up the topic."

Yep, I can relate to that. I often fold just so I can get the he11 out of there and go fishing! Ya gotta pick your battles carefully...

[jimfinster]

I must say I am glad that my husband listens to my opinion. Posted by jlriesbeck at 05:34 PM : Jul 09, 2007

You think he is listening. In his head, he is stalking an elusive trout :)

[rudy2281]

Any qualified researcher will recognize that 72 married couples is insufficient a base on which to come to quantitative conclusions. At best, the survey is a 'fun' qualitative study which is representative only of the 72 couples in Iowa. But then, Katie needed a story.

As to the point made about 'power' sharing, if the husband is not listening to and acting upon the views of his wife, it's a sad marriage. However, I doubt that the wife is making the majority of decisions as far as marriages across the U.S. is concerned. They shouldn't be, any more than men should be making all of the decisions. It's a shared responsibility.

[hypnotoad72]

jimfinster - Men think with their gonads. Women just think.

Now it's my turn to wait for the angry responses.

[jimfinster]

jimfinster - Men think with their gonads. Women just think.

Now it's my turn to wait for the angry responses.
Posted by hypnotoad72 at 06:42 PM : Jul 09, 2007


Yep, often the little head thinks for the big head. Perhaps a necessity for propogating the species...

[erasmus6]

"It makes perfect sense, since boys/men stop maturing at age 13....just kidding fellas." posted by news3497

That is no joke, that is a fact!

[jimfinster]

erasmus6:

I take that as a compliment!! My 12 year old son has the perfect outlook on life.

[Hybdiesel]

After 53 years of married life I have learned at least one thing. Things run a lot better when the wife has a smile on her face.

[Syndicate]

If it wasn't for the awsome ***, my wife would win a lot less arguments. Probably none, but hey I'm getting really great *** so she can have whatever she wants.

[decentiq]

What happened to the good ol Caveman days? They didn't have to listen to women constantly yapping and nagging. Now days, if you want to get laid you have to let them vent and if you argue, it becomes an all day event or even longer, which no man has the mindset for.

[erasmus6]

jimfinster

"Men tend to make decisions based on analysis and logic. Women tend to make decisions based on emotion."

I have always agreed with most of your posts on other subjects but I am going to have to disagree on this one!

Women have waaaaay more common sense and logic when making decisions. Do they make decisions on emotions? sometimes, but for certain things, not usually for important decisions. (that's why you need Hillary for president):)

AND I have often heard men saying that women analyze everything to death. So you see I think I am right!

As far as men go I think a lot of them are lacking just a wee bit in the common sense department. No offense. Maybe you are the exception.

[erasmus6]

Dearest Hypnotoad72

"Men think with their gonads. Woman just think."

Thank you! You have just made my point!


k517 - Your comments have been RIGHT ON!!

[jeepmanjr]

It's cheaper to keep 'er. Yer gonna pay for the golden p%$##& no matter what. Every man is thinking he's doing the right thing when he spends waaaay too much on a stinkin' ring. Things seem all that until you say those special words, "I Do". Then it's all over. She owns you...legally. Oh yea sure... Throw her out, and all your worldly belongings and future with her. That's why women are so danged brazin. No, they're not smarter, they just have the law on their side. So fellers, if yer thinkin' about commitin' to the one you love, to that warm, sweet talking piece o' heaven you can't live without, dude, you better get a grip. Cuz there's only one thing yer gonna be grippin' come the day after!!! God bless you brothers!!! ;-)

[jimfinster]

erasmus6:

I was just trying to stir things up. You could be right :)

[monkfellow]

I'll post my comment as soon as I run it by my wife..

[godofredo29]

Women certainly wear the pants on the WebMD men's health message boards. They are all moderated by women and other female lurkers (e.g., "GeorgiaGail") routinely offer advice they are clearly not qualified to give. Their spin is always loud and clear: blame the victim (the guy) no matter what the ailment or issue he's describing; tell the guy he worries too much and should just be happy (one of the moderators, Julie of WebMD, actually has that an automatic quote on her postings). My point is even when men are supposed to have a safe space to voice their concerns, they don't really get to.

[erasmus6]

jimfinster

"You could be right:)"

OH, SURE! You're just saying that to shut me up! hahaha
Isn't that what some of the men are saying, they just agree with women so they will shut up?

Can't even have a good fight anymore!

[jimfinster]

erasmus6:

"Yes Dear" is the key to marital survival. Note I did not say bliss. I am no dummy.

[michellem99-2009]

I am 52. I never married. I have a male friend. Yer worried about us women wearing pants. Yer ever seen a man in a dress. I have. Yer want to wear the pants. I will wear my jeans and they are women's. We get along and have been for 24 yrs. We don't agree on everything. he is and I am and that means 2 households. Gents I am the computer user and my male friend is not. So male issues I share his issues as well.There are 2 genders. Someone don't like women. We have our space. Yer mate needs that space or yer well know. I am legally blind os thinks work out.

[rshoff2]

Women nag; Men give in, or find a way out.