Women Suffer In Silence With ADHD

The Signs And Symptoms Of The Disorder In Women Are Different Than Most Think

(CBS)  When you hear the words attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, people often think of the young boy who can't sit still in class. But what about the young girl with ADHD who isn't so disruptive and doesn't get diagnosed?

Often, they work harder than others but never quite fit in.

Kirstin Boncher, Evelyn Polk Green and Lisa Wright always felt that they were different. They lived much of their lives not understanding what is wrong with them. That is because all three suffer from a condition typically associated with children, ADHD.

Green went to college on a scholarship. But once there, she couldn't keep up and she dropped out.

"I can remember sitting in my apartment for days at a time in the dark, because once I fell behind, I didn't know how to catch back up," she told The Early Show correspondent Susan McGinnis. "I didn't know what to do to fix it."

Boncher found daily life overwhelming.

"It's every little task that you have to do in a day: making breakfast, making lunch, making dinner. And you see something else that you have to do so then you do that too," she said. "It gets done. But, it's — it's such agony."

And with the agony, comes a feeling of failure. Wright couldn't seem to finish anything.

"It's like I'd be 99 percent done and I can't get the last step," she said. "I wanted to live up to be what I thought I could be, or what other people are, you know."

Dr. Mary Solano is a psychologist who specializes in ADHD. She says normal, everyday tasks such as paying bills, doing taxes and cleaning the house are extremely difficult for people with ADHD.

"For people with ADHD, this might go so far as forgetting or not paying the bill, even though one has the money so often or for such a long time that the lights get turned off," she said.

Dr. Solanto said people with ADHD have a problem in the brain's "executive center."

"The normals have a lot more activation in this executive center, the ADHD people have virtually none. They activate a different area in a larger more diffuse way," She said. "All the evidence indicates it's genetic in origin."

Green learned she had ADHD when her eldest son was diagnosed. It was as if the therapist was talking about her.

"It was that light bulb," she said. "And it was a sense of relief, you know. I'm not lazy, crazy, stupid. There was a reason that all that stuff was going on."

Yet being diagnosed with a disorder that many people think is over-diagnosed isn't easy.

"It is painful when people say to you, 'Oh, you don't have anything wrong with you,' and they feel like they can judge something … they wouldn't judge whether I had a heart condition or not," Boncher said. "It's an invisible disorder."

All three women got help from medication, which works by stimulating the area of the brain that isn't active. Doctors say this is the best form of treatment, but Wright struggled with the idea.

"I went through a phase where I was very unhappy I have a problem that requires that I take medication for the rest of my life," Wright said. "And that — that wasn't a — a good phase at all.

Wright compromised. She took medication to help her finish her work through the week, but not using it on the weekends.

"I liked to be myself on the weekends," she said. "I'm creative. I'm fun. I'm outgoing. My impulsivity happens to be a thing that most people who I know like about me."

Today, with the right diagnosis and treatment, all three women are doing well. Boucher can now enjoy her family more, Wright started her own business and Green is a school administrator in Chicago.

"Most days I feel really good about myself," Green said. "Not every day, but most days I do feel good about myself. And those days when I don't, I always feel like there's hope."

For more information, visit these Web sites: Mount Sinai School of Medicine,
ADDVance.com, Help4ADHD, ADDConsultants.com, NCIGIADD.org, MyADDStore.com, SarisOlden.com,
ADD.org, CHADD.org and ADD.About.com.

Or write:
ADDA
15000 Commerce Parkway, Suite C
Mount Laurel, NJ 08054

[flower0011]

I was told this year that I have ADD. Sadly I struggled through school, was told I was a daydreamer, stupid, thick and a waste of space because I just couldn't keep up or even work out the subjects, unless I loved it. Worst, while my friends love me anyway (and this new diagnosis makes sense and wasn't a shock), I can't bring myself to tell my family because they spent over 30 years making me the scapegoat and I know for a fact they just, quite frankly, won't believe me.

[diwood2]

I have been trying to figure this out for a long time. I am a mom of three and my own mother saw the segment on The Early Show regarding women with ADD/ADHD. The ADD is what is seem to be dealing with in myself. I have noticed over the years I am getting worse with not staying focused on anything and getting not one thing accomplished. Most of the time it is starting one thing and not finishing and moving to the next thing that I see that needs to get done. I have been doing this for years and it really has affected me emotionaly, and many other feelings come into play. I feel that my jobs that I have had have suffered in really bad ways. My marriage has been truely tested, and my mood with my kids also. I always used it in a way to joke and blow off what I feel I have suffered from. I just thought I needed to stay focused and get a grip. But it really is not a laughing matter as this was the way I dealt with it.

[dog-x8]

When I was young and living at home my MaMa would always say,"******,you never finish anything!", or,"Why do you want to join that, you quit everything?!" And even after I was grown and wanted to start my on business she said,"Why?! You'r just going to quit, you always quit!" ----------I don't smoke drink or do any type of drugs so if they were to diagnose me with ADHD would the drug they prescribe make you feel weird-- or normal?

[mahdeealoo]

Now I know. Thank you for publishing this for the general public.

My phone, water, and electricity has been shut off and my insurance cancelled on home and auto with plenty of money in the bank but I "forgot" to pay them. I have forgotten to make dinner, do laundry, pick up the kids from school, go in for appointments, all because I forgot, while being distracted from my scheduled events. This has happened over and over again throughout my adult life. I now see the effect of ADD in my life over and over, thanks to this article. I found myself lying and making wild excuses of why a bill went unpaid to the utility and insurance companies, not knowing the real truth myself. My family watches me flit about going from project to project, left unfinished, like a honeybee looking for an endless nectar rich flower but never finding it

It may be wise to keep a copy of this for anyone who asks why I am the way I am.

Also, it is a great thing to have automatic withdrawal to pay bills. For me, it has been a life-saver. Maybe I should hire a personal assistant to help with everything else.

[mahdeealoo]

Golly be! Now I know what the problem is! I have asked myself over and over, what the problem is with no rational answer except, "I don't know". I have had my water, electricity, and phone shut off because I "forgot" to pay the bill with ample money for each of them. I didn't know why. Or why I can never finish a project. I flit about the house like a honey bee all day long when I am home. Some things get done, some just sit there and stare me right in the eye over and over, but I don't see. And on top of that, I'm dyslexic, which I have to focus on for it to not alter my outcomes with numbers, reading, and writing.

I have learned to "focus" about 6" from the back/top of my head which I learned from another dyslexic. It has helped trememdously.

This article is a relief for me. Thank you for publishing it where it can be seen by the general public.

[godofredo29]

A similar phenomenon for men would be osteoporosis and hypothyroidism. I notice that even your CBS Cares segment on osteoporosis goes out of its way to airbrush men out of its discussion of osteoporosis even though millions of us suffer from it and the diagnosis and treatment of it is different for men than women. You're not alone, though. NBC's Dr. Nancy Snyderman doesn't seem to know that men can get either of these conditions, as evidenced by her segments she did on them on the Today Show.