X-Rated Internet Addiction

Pornography Is As Private As Your Own PC, And Can Become An Obsession

(CBS)  Mark Searles is a family man, an insurance inspector, a devout Christian — and a recovering Internet porn addict.

"It's just you and the computer; there is no one to tell you no," Searles told CBS News science and technology correspondent Daniel Sieberg.

Searles says for nearly a year he would sneak onto his home computer and indulge his fantasies — for several hours at a time.

"What I'm doing I know is wrong, but it kind of pulls you in," he said. "When you become an addict, you forget everything else. All reasoning gets put way on the back burner."

But Searles' dirty little secret was exposed one day when his wife discovered some of the Web sites he'd been surfing.

"I was a combination of sad and angry and disappointed and hurt," Kim Searles said.

The world of pornography has clearly changed. Buying porn used to mean risking embarrassment. Today, porn is consumed in private, online, by an estimated 40 million Americans.

Addiction to Internet porn often isn't dealt with simply because nobody wants to talk about it — which means they often don't get help. But now, thanks to one group, people are starting to talk about it — in places like a church in Fort Wayne, Ind., over breakfast.

The gathering is called "porn and pancakes." Men come to get help for themselves and others, or just out of curiousity.

"We wanted to create a safe place where people can go to get help and realize they're not the only ones," said youth minister Craig Gross.

Gross founded a virtual ministry, xxxchurch.com. He takes his traveling road show to churches across the country. Using his skills as a pastor, along with some slick videos, Craig hammers home the ills of porn.

"We think that there's a world that's kinda gone astray when it comes to this industry and we wanna talk to you," Gross preaches.

Some people just want to head off problems before they start. At the church in Fort Wayne, two fathers brought their teenage sons.

"It’s going to come into your life. If you don't think it will, you're just kidding yourself," said Jim Villers. "If you think it's not going to come into your kid's life, you're kidding yourself."

How common is it for your friends to be surfing porn online or on a cell phone?

"Oh, it's like every day," said Villers' son Skyler.

Ironically, people are seeking help online, at sites like one from the University of Texas. Another solution: Installing Internet monitoring software so someone you trust can keep track of the Web sites you visit.

Mark Searles didn't have high-tech help. He says his wife has helped him remain clean, and his son has already learned a lesson about how harmful Internet porn can be.

"It's very humbling to have a 9-year-old tell a 37-year-old man, 'Dad that's wrong.' Because even at nine years old, he knows that's bad," he says.

It's all part of bringing a difficult subject into the open.

[zoltaric]

I love porn.

Wish they had the internet when I was 15!

[michellem99-2009]

LOCK UP ALL THE SEXUAL PREDIATORS AND GET OFF THEM OFF THE STREETS FOR LIFE.Don't blame it on your being abused as a child.I am not buying it and I will never will. I was abused as a child by those who were supposed to be my caretakers. So don't tell me any different. That bloody porn and men who won't control their drives. Who would rather hurt and mess up children and women.This a board where I hope you men who view porn who think it is so cool when it is not. IT IS DOWN RIGHT NASTY AND HURTFUL. I HATE PORN. We need to pass strong laws that deals with this issue. We who these men abuse did not ask for it. THEY FORCE IT ON US. This is a problem to must be stopped. I am stepping upto the plate here to tell you men to not ever get in to porn. It is not worth it. IS IS WORTH GOING TO PRISOM OVER,YOUR CHILDREN TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU,RUITING YOUR LIFE OVER? I hope not.

[dbish1970]

I do also agree that there is almost always a deep seeded issue or real problem behind the behavior. It typically stems from abuse as a child.

[dbish1970]

I can't show you a "porn addict laying on the floor, sick, shaking and vomiting", but I can show you many who have lost their jobs, money, wife and family because of their obsessive compulsion (addiction). I can also show you many who are in jail or on the sexual predator list because the problem led them there. I think that they are completely responsible for their own actions just as any addict. Again, I will say it is about education as well as responsibility. I suppose the two go hand in hand. We do live in a sexually charged world which is why people need to make responsible choices for themselves as to what they can or cannot handle. The same goes for alcohol, prescription and non-prescription drugs or anything that can be abused for that matter.

[cadmantwo]

Porn addict? Show me the person laying on the floor, sick, shaking and vomiting because they don't have any porn! Not that some people don't have trouble dealing with some things, but "porn addiction" is an excuse not an addiction. When are we going to give up these lame addictions and start dealing with the real problems behind the behavior? (Which, by the way, may have something to do with living in the most s*xually charged and simultaneously s*xually repressive country in the world.)

Hmmm... I wonder if "s*xually" will make it past the repressive censorship used on this site...

[itwasntme000]

I didn't know that children could post!?!?
Posted by Tech0011 at 11:52 AM : May 02, 2007

The question was for your own benefit.
A stupid question deserves a stupid answer.

[sedandara]

My perspective is that of a wife that witnessed our children losing their father to hours upon hours of internet porn, and the loss of almost any intimacy in our marriage because *** became a thing you do, not based in love for each other. This addiction caused him to lie in other areas of his life to cover for himself. We are still together after 28 years and the only thing that has allowed this is my faith that God will heal our marriage from the lies and deception, but I don't know that I will ever fully trust him again. We all have to be responsible for our behavior, but to say that internet porn doesn't hurt anyone is ridiculous - just ask my now adult children how they feel about it.

[sedandara]

My perspective is that of a wife that witnessed our children losing their father to hours upon hours of internet porn, and the loss of almost any intimacy in our marriage because *** became a thing you do, not based in love for each other. This addiction caused him to lie in other areas of his life to cover for himself. We are still together after 28 years and the only thing that has allowed this is my faith that God will heal our marriage from the lies and deception, but I don't know that I will ever fully trust him again. We all have to be responsible for our behavior, but to say that internet porn doesn't hurt anyone is ridiculous - just ask my now adult children how they feel about it.

[dbish1970]

I don't think this has anything to do with religion or freedom of speech at all. What does need to be stated are the facts at hand. I know that porn can get out of hand with certain ages and personality types but I have watched it and don't believe that it should be banned. It's about education. Porn can be devastating in that some people can get addicted. They don't mean that everyone who watches it will become addicted either. When it interferes with your job and day to day functioning it poses a problem just like anything else can. Porn addiction can be compared to drug addiction because the addict starts with one look, then it overpowers them to the point that they are looking at things and doing things that they never would have before...it's just like a "drug high".

[jolsonbear]

Yes our fondling fathers did make it clear that rights are not absolute....some do it with their left hand!